


From The Dark: Sequel To Hide & Seek

by SS98



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bottom Louis, M/M, Mpreg, Possessive!Harry, Smut, Top Harry, Yeah that's it, authorissleepdeprived, babies because larry babies are perfect, character death but nobody major, innocent!louis, killer!harry?, lots of smut, more like prestigious mob leader!harry, not exactly, this is the hard part, uni - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-11
Updated: 2015-01-18
Packaged: 2018-03-07 03:24:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 44
Words: 118,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3159425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SS98/pseuds/SS98
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Monsters are real, ghosts are real too. They exist inside us and sometimes they win.</i>
</p><p>Louis doesn't know Harry, but Harry won't take no for an answer. A struggle ensues.</p><p>
  <i>
    <b>[A/N: I'm so, so, so, so sorry for taking forever to post this. It's been on Wattpad for a while though O.o]</b>
  </i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I - 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiiiii *smiles nervously* Miss me? - S xx

_I'm gonna love you, until you hate me._

***NARRATOR'S POV***

"Lou!" It has to be the menace I call my sister whispering into me ear, with a degraded version of shouting. I keep pretending to sleep. 

"Lou?" She tickles the back on my neck and I surrender. 

"I'm awake. What now?" My eyes remain lidded and heavy. 

"Your breath stinks." She scrunches up her little button nose in disgust. 

I let out an exasperated and prolonged breath just for her. She squeals, ducking behind her tiny hands. "Ew, Lou!l

"That's what you get for waking me up so early." 

"Mommy says you're going with her to work today."

"Oh sh-damn!" 

Louis scrambles to his feet and half disoriented, brushes his teeth in his bathroom. Phoebe sits on his bed with Mr. Fluffles and giggles loudly at his behaviour. 

"Tell mom I'll be right down!" He calls to her. She nods and scampers down the steps one at a time with the stuffed bear trailing on the carpet behind her. 

While Louis struggles into chinos and grabs a bowl of Cheerios from the kitchen, Harry wakes up from the thin and uncomfortable bed with a groan. His back has started to hurt, forming a curve in his posture like a half-made sickle. 

He feels around the bed for the body he fell asleep with last night and smiles when he stumbles upon a small hand. Pulling the warmth towards his body, he drapes a protective arm over the smaller boy's lower bare back. "G'morning."

The early morning blush that colours the boy's cheeks makes Harry smile wider. He stares at those oceanic blue eyes, noticing for the umptienth time the specks of green hidden where only Harry could see. He brushes his love's hair out of his eyes, admiring the way his chest rose and fell with the deep and drowsy breaths. He made Harry happy. 

Leaning forward to kiss the lips he missed for eight hours since they'd dozed off after a long chat the previous night, he meets the cold pillow instead. Harry frowns and blinks at the empty space next to him, feeling the hole in his chest expand painfully. Louis wasn't here. 

Louis was actually answering the door back home, trying so hard to stick with a fifty-second time limit before he got into his mom's car. Douglas stood on the other side, hand raised mid-air and a cheeky grin appearing when Louis opened the door. "Hey, babe."

"I told you not to call me that." Louis scolds with a soft smile and grabs his coat. 

"Going-" Douglas presses his lips chastely to Louis' considering Phoebe was still around "-out?"

"I am." Louis batted his hands away and stepped around him. "Going to the office with mom."

"Ooh!" Douglas exaggerates. "Sheriff Louis. I like it."

"Shut it, you kinky bastard." Louis whispers in his ear, having to stretch up on his tiptoes. "But I really don't know why she asked me."

"Is something wrong?" Douglas has become the concerened boyfriend Louis knew existed under those leather jackets and biker boots. Not that he wore them to Louis' house. 

Louis shrugs. "Gonna find out."

"Have fun. One more kiss for the road?" 

Louis loved Douglas' immaturity. The guy was two years Louis' senior but acted like an adolescent nontheless. Louis kisses him quickly before running towards the car. "Forty-seven seconds!"

Douglas cackles on their driveway, watching the small boy get into the marked Middleston PD Sheriff's car and drive off with a wave. He waved back before getting on his bike and pocketing the theater tickets he'd purchased. No Count Dracula cinema date today, then.

Louis walked into the station in a solemn mood, the police station isn't exactly the place to be all smiles in and about. 

"Now, Louis. I'm taking you to the interrogation room." His mother informs him over her shoulder. 

"Why? What did I do?" Louis enforces his automatic reaction to hearing something remotely close to threatening his legal freedom. 

"Nothing. I want to show you something." 

Breathing a sigh of relief, Louis follows his mother dutifully to the familiar set of metallic doors at the end of flickering hallway. She stops him in front of the door that would allow them to secretly observe the conversations of those in interrogation. 

"Now, Louis." She says with her hand braced on the doorframe. "Don't......say anything until I'm done, okay?"

He nods, enforcing her rule. She smiles a small smile before letting themselves into the dim room. The glass pane does nothing to hide the young man sitting at the table in the adjacent room. He is staring at the glass as if he can see right through it, and Louis' blood chills. He follows the boy's eyes as he crosses the room and finds the gaze unbroken. 

He resists the urge to ask who this is. He knows. He saw Harry the previous day, outside the house on Lost Lake when he was being dragged away. Was he a special case that he got to stay here? Rather than being shipped off to a rehabilitation institution. 

Louis crosses his arms over his chest and just watches silently. Why is he here? Harry has untidy curly locks of hair that look like they'll remain soft no matter the amount of grease in them. His green eyes are piercing and hard, but the irises could be moving like they speak their own language. He had a cut across his eyebrow, leaving a clean hairless streak in one area. Louis felt sorry for this young individual who could be at most two years older than himself. 

There is a man sat across Harry who Louis didn't notice. 

"That's Dr. Aspire." His mother explains softly. "He's here to try getting Harry to talk."

"Try?" Louis shuts up when his mother gives him a stern look. She looked nervous, like she's trying to figure out how to say something. 

"Do you know this boy, Louis?"

"Not very well. Anne's son and his name's Harry. That's it."

His mother sighs. "Does he know you?"

"Uh.....maybe."

"He's asking for you." 

"Huh? What for?" Louis looks at Harry through the one-sided glass. 

"Listen." She presses a button and twists a nob before the sound of a calm voice fills the room. 

"Harry. How are you today?" The man says to Harry who blatantly ignores him. 

Louis notices that Harry's wearing a neat button-up shirt and has a bandanna through his hair. The rings on his fingers dance the table as Harry scratches mindlessly at the surface. 

"I'm Dr. Aspire. Do you remember me from yesterday?"

He gets a reaction now, a small nod from his companion. 

"Excellent. Do you remember what happened yesterday, Harry?"

Harry frowns and Louis watches his Adam's Apple bob as he swallows. "I....I don't want to."

"Why not?"

Harry glares at the doctor, and Louis finds himself looking away. "Because it....it can't be true. It's a lie."

"A lie? Who would lie to you?"

"He-He wasn't there." Harry's posture slumps, and his shoulders curve inwards until Louis thinks it's painful. "I thought something happened to him."

"Yes?"

"I went to look. But.....But they said it was a dream. I wasn't dreaming!" Harry's helpless expression vanishes and his voice is a roar, booming around in both rooms and Louis steps back. 

"Who, Harry?"

"Louis." He whispers it like a pilgrim in worship. 

Louis uncrosses his arms and leans forward, closer to the glass pane that conceals him. His jaw hangs open and his hairs stand on end. Him? Is this about him? Is this why he's here?

"Are you sure you don't know him?" His mother switches off the sound nervously. "Don't lie to me, Louis. Please."

"I'm not lying." Louis half gasps and half shouts. "I don't know this guy! He means someone else, mom."

"He doesn't. Listen." She redials the nob and Harry's voice seeps into their mind. 

".....can't be real. He's real." Harry argues heatedly. 

"Harry, listen to me. Louis doesn't consent to knowing anything." 

Louis didn't consent to anything, or say that he doesn't consent to anything either. 

Harry is positively broken. "W-What?"

The doctor sighs. Obviously, they've told Harry this before. "He doesn't know you, Harry."

"It can't be. He does. He-He....."

"You're going to a rehab center, Harry. Your family thinks it's best for you and then you can come back home."

"I want to see him."

"Harry?"

"Louis. I want to talk to him." Harry's tone is threatening. "I want to hear it from _him_ that he doesn't know me, that he doesn't remember us."

"Louis isn't-"

"I won't go anywhere otherwise."

The doctor sighs and turns around in his chair to look at the window before rising to leave. After watching the doctor exit, Louis goes back to Harry and catches him staring back. Could he see through? That made Louis compulsively afraid and he looked down, away that chilling stare. 

He knew Louis? How? Louis' mind whirled and his thought swam uncontrollably. It terrified him to learn that a psychotic-prone individual has fantasies about him. Why wouldn't it?

Louis' mom let in the doctor who looked at Louis sympathetically before turning away. 

"Your decision?" He asks his mother emptily. "Is he going in?"

"Should he?" His mother looks alarmed, probably a reflection of Louis' current expression. 

The doctor sighs and Louis wants to scream at him. "I think we shouldn't indulge him. Just let his mind move on. It is most likely that after just meeting with Louis here, Harry took to obsession and compulsion. With this, he created an alternate world where he has what he can't have here."

It saddened Louis to think about the trigger of Harry's insomnia. A person could be so insecure and so lonely that their imagination served as an escape. 

"On the other hand, Louis going in and being firm with him could also do him some good." 

Louis' mother turns to him. "I want you to be safe, and I didn't want this bothering you."

Louis shakes his head. "I would have needed to know. I don't mind going in. Is he dangerous?"

"He isn't a threat to your safety." The doctor answers. "Not with the image he's created of you."

That was even more unsettling to Louis. "O-Okay."

His mom smiles at him before letting the doctor guide him out the door and through the connecting door. Louis shoved his hands into his pockets and bit his lip painfully. 

"All you have to do is tell him the truth." The doctor says reassuringly. "He won't hurt you. Don't worry."

Louis nods twice before twisting the handle and opening the door. The doctor sticks to his back as he enters the room. Harry is at the table, instantly looking up and Louis' heart sinks in his chest. 

"Lou."

_**[A/N: I'm back!!! Oh. My. Heavens. I'm so excited and so very, very nervous for this story. It's the concluding installment and it took me forever to decide on a plot-line. PLEASE say hi down below in the comments section and let me know whether you're as excited as I am. Brrr. - S xx]** _


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just like on Demon Begging, the notes attached to each chapter is intended for Wattpad so don't let that confuse you :)

_That's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt._

_"Lou?"_

Louis had one thing to do, tell Harry he didn't know him and get out. But now, looking at how Harry observed him like a crystalline ornament or freaking _diety_ Louis was unsure.   
He shook his head inwardly. He didn't know this kid and that's that so there isn't anything extra to add. 

"Hi, Harry." How else does one respond to a nickname they didn't authorise?

Harry stands and moves around the table but it must have been the doctor's firm shaking of his head that stopped him. Harry frowns and looks to Louis for permission. _Freaking permission._

"Harry....I have to tell you something." Louis starts. 

He was a nice guy, didn't hurt people if he didn't have to. If he didn't shiver at the looks Harry kept throwing him - and already have a boyfriend - he may have gone along with this act for therapeutic measure. 

Harry nods and clenches his fists. He ached to reach out for Louis and touch him. He didn't get to this morning, but he couldn't be hallucinating now when everyone else can see Louis too. He is just as small as Harry remembers, small shoulders but big biceps and those trademark cerulean eyes. For Harry, Louis was the personification of raw, untainted beauty. 

"Harry, you have um," Louis swallows,"schizophrenia. Do you know what that is?"

Harry looks at Louis like he can't hear a thing that leaves the boy's mouth. 

"Harry?" 

His eyes snapped up Louis' lips to his eyes and hair that was neatly tossled. He made an indication that he hadn't heard what Louis previously said. 

"You have multiple-person disorder. You-You create realities with your mind." The doctor is impatient. 

Harry's brows knit together and create worry lines on his wide forehead. "And?"

Louis would throw his hands up in exasperation, having known that everyone has told Harry flat-out that he's making everything up. He would, but he won't. Louis is human, and he can see the destruction in Harry's eyes. They shouldn't be there, not when he's this young with a life to live. Harry's reality was sad and joy-deprived, that made Louis feel pity. 

" _And_ Louis here, isn't really your boyfriend. He doesn't know you at all, Harry." The doctor's a bit harsh and it nags Louis because of the torn expression on Harry's face. 

He doesn't understand. "Lou?"

"I'm sorry, Harry." Louis stops when Harry's lips part and his brows relax but the look is too _broken._ "We can be friends. I'd love to make a new friend, but we......we aren't what you think we are."

Harry's face doesn't lift, except his green eyes that fascinate Louis search his own gaze for something. "Can't we be?"

Louis offers a pathetic semblance of a smile. "No, love. We can't-"

The doctor nudges Louis' elbow abruptly and he sputters in the end. He was warning Louis not to use terms of endearment with Harry, or else he'll just provoke this behaviour for a longer term. Harry didn't need that. He needed to move on. 

Louis apologises with his eyes and a shrug, turning back to Harry and finding a stone-cold glare faced at the doctor behind Louis. Obviously, Harry didn't appreciate the physical gesture of caution to Louis about him and is angry about it. 

Harry's jaw tightens and Louis clears his throat before a growl escapes. "You okay with that, Harry?"

"No. He hit you." Harry's voice is a tad gruffer than usual. Louis normally appreciated a voice as unique as this. 

"No he didn't, Harry." Louis tries to give him a smile of reassurance. "But listen to me. Look at me." He takes an involuntary step forward. Something about Harry made Louis unafraid to move closer. 

Harry takes his focus off the doctor and widens his eyes at how near Louis is. He could grab him. Hug him? "Louis."

Louis does smile and it makes Harry smile too. "So will you be my friend, Harry? Just my friend?"

Harry's smile falters and he looks at the ground, between Louis' sneakers and his much larger dress shoes. He nods slowly without looking up. "C-Can you hug me?"

Louis sucks in a deep breath and glances back at the doctor to encourages him, mainly because he did not want to find out what Harry will do if he stopped Louis. 

"As a friend." Harry reassures quickly. 

Louis leans forward nervously and Harry encases his smaller frame in a tight embrace. It isn't perfect or ideally comfortable because Harry's chest is hard and Louis was in an undesirable position. One leg between Harry's and both hands squashed between their bodies. 

Harry never wanted to let go. Ever. He _knew_ Louis was his, he _believed_ it. Why these people were telling him otherwise was beyond him, but he'd slowly get Lou back. He will. 

"Harry?" Louis' voice is muffled by Harry's shirt that smelt of dirt and a dying fragrance. 

Harry released him and Louis stepped back. He looked at the flabbergasted doctor for guidance before leaving the room. He could swear that he heard his name being called before meeting his mom in the hallway but he ignored it. Hugging Harry felt off and he wanted to forget it. 

"Louis? You okay?" His mom combs his fringe out of his eyes with a smile. 

"What? Yeah." He breathes. "He's really gone."

"Don't say that." She scolds. "Harry's a wonderful boy who's just had a difficult life."

"What do you mean?"

"I'll tell you when I'm off duty at home, okay?"

Louis nods. 

"He looks at you in this way."

"Funny way."

"No." She thinks for a while. "I can't predict anything and I don't know how I feel about it either."

"Jesus." Louis exhales loudly. "Can I go home? Please."

"Douglas is coming for you. I called him."

"Mom!"

"I don't want you walking and I have to stay here. Just, wear protection."

Louis blushed. "Nosy much, mom?"

"I meant a helmet, young man." She slaps his arm. "And no funny business under my roof either."

"Fine. When's he getting here?"

"Should be a few minutes. You can wait here." She looks behind her and Louis follows her line of vision until it stops at the door of the interrogation room. 

They brought Harry out, non-handcuffed and aggravated. He looks at Louis and his emotion softens, the hatred melting away to make way for a smile. Louis is paralysed and cannot respond. He didn't get this guy, not in the way he usually understood most things. It was a dangerous type of intrigue. 

The front door of the station opens and everyone happens to look at it at the same moment, not with as much hope as Louis does though. Douglas sees him from across the room and waves with a calming smile that has Louis smiling back. 

Harry doesn't understand. Why would Louis wave at this stranger and not at him?

Douglas hugs Louis without a care for the surrounding individuals when he kisses him on the cheek. "Hey there."

"Hi." Louis hides behind Douglas where Harry can't see him. 

"Your mom so thoughtfully called and asked me to pick you up. What's up?"

"I'm done here and need something to do."

"Oh." Douglas smirks and bends closer. "I can help."

Harry sees red. 

_**[A/N: A TRIBUTE TO SIR ROBIN WILLIAMS. He was an amazing man, truly dedicated and humble to the core. He saved lives and made us smile, including me. He will be forever missed and loved and cherished :) Second, can I rant to you guys? Please? Okay. It's been amazing writing this story, I keep going for hours until my eyes hurt with my pen in my tea and spoon on my writing pad. Thing is, there's never enough time! I'm at a complete blank for my other stories and it seems I can't get more than 10% of my work done at a time. Which is pathetic. It keeps coming and my deadlines keep getting closer. Electives are taking up my time and my examinations are two weeks away. I don't want to deal with anything, like, sleep for 24 hours without worrying about something. That will be the greatest gift. I'm so sorry I asked u to listen to/read that. I'm awful; to compensate this is a double update because who am I to end on a note like that? *sigh*]** _


	3. Chapter 3

_**[A/N: Time for a disgruntled message from me because ugh people are mean. So, I don't put warnings and chizz on my stories because I see them as spoilers, hectic ones that just ruin everything. Same goes for warnings. Now, there will be a few really messed up things in this story, and when it does come please do not take them too seriously. This is to everyone, if you're having a hard time with anything feel free to talk to me whenever because I WILL listen. But, I kindly request, that you don't say mean things to me :( much appreciated, lovelies xx]** _

_Let me show you my world. Let me give you my soul. Let me._

In Harry's mind Louis smiled back at him. In Harry's mind Louis didn't hug another man. In Harry's mind Louis was his. So when Douglas whispered something blush-worthy to Louis, it is natural that in Harry's mind it made Louis squirmish and uncomfortable. 

_Harry saw red._

He lunged at this new and unfamiliar person, the advantage of not being handcuffed proves worthy when he drags Douglas away from Louis. Louis screams, not knowing what else to do when Douglas is yanked out of his hold.   
Chaos erupts all around him as he tries to manoeuvre his way through the busy bodies struggling - and persistently failing - to remove Harry's infuriated form from Douglas. He doesn't hit Douglas, but that was only because four other police officers got him away in time. 

Louis' thumping heart can be heard by an outsider, he feels, when he kneels beside a coughing Douglas to comfort him. 

"Too soon." The doctor says from behind him. It was obvious he was correct. Harry had met Douglas under less than desirable circumstances, and his lashing out could be easily predicted. 

"We thought we could release him to his family for a while." Louis' mom sighs. "But we can't do that if he's going to be a threat."

"He isn't a threat." Another woman that Louis didn't see arrive speaks up. 

He helps Douglas to his feet and keeps an arm around his waist for no reason, dropping it after meeting Harry's eye again. Douglas coughs into his fist and grips Louis' hand in a tight hold before indicating with glassy eyes that he wanted to leave. Louis wanted to see what the decision was, so he shook his head.   
Douglas nearly glared at him before realising that Louis was his boyfriend, not his inferior so he lightly tugged on his wrist until Louis gave in. They left hastily with Harry staring cold daggers into Douglas' back, sadder and empty ones at Louis. He just didn't understand. 

"Anne." Louis' mom cautioned. "We're friends, alright? I'm doing what I can for you but it doesn't look good. The most I can do is get him placed in a nearby rehab facility."

"I understand. He won't harm anyone, Sheriff. Let me take him home for one night. I'll bring him back tomorrow morning, I swear." Anne looks longingly at her son who's staring at the ground. "He's my boy. I know he still is."

The only thing that got the Sheriff to give in was that she had a son, a freaked out son in that case, but she could easily relate to a mother. She nodded before speaking. "Fine. But he can't leave the house, Anne. He's scaring my boy and Douglas and really...." She pinches the bridge of her nose. "No one's ready for that."

Anne swallows but smiles thankfully. "I promise. Thank you, Jay. Thank you."

Anne pulls Jay in for a tight squeeze before turning to her only son. She didn't understand what snapped in him a year ago, that made him so completely lose touch with the world. She knew why he had an obsession with Louis, he'd met the boy once and couldn't shut up. She thought it was a crush. Oh how wrong she was. 

Harry didn't look at her the whole ride home, and immediately escaped to his room before even greeting Gemma. They sighed to each other before deciding dinner preparation would be a good distraction. 

Louis sat on his bed, knotted fingers laid on his lap and his eyes following every crease in the duvet. 

Douglas was upset. Louis could sense that angry vibe rolling off his boyfriend in frightening stages. "What the fuck, Lou?"

He kept his head bowed, chin tucked into his chest. "Wasn't my fault."

"It isn't? I believe you, no stress." Douglas scoffs sarcastically. 

Louis bit his lip. "It really isn't! I can't control other people."

"Where did he even see you?" 

Douglas spins a pen on Louis' desk and it snaps. He doesn't apologise, just throws it away wordlessly. It was Louis' favourite Pentel pen from when his dad went to France. 

Louis looks out the window. He knew how Douglas got sometimes. "I never saw him before. My mom's friends with his mom but that's it."

"Come on, Lou." Douglas snickers in that cold way of his. "Went to a club without me? A party? Maybe some book club event that he might go to, in that case I'm not mad."

"You're mad?"

"Of course I'm bloody mad!" Douglas bellows. "Some psychopath is laying claim on _my_ boyfriend. He fucking embarrasses _me_ in front of all those people!" 

Louis flinches at Douglas' words and folds in on himself, knees hugged to his chest. When he doesn't respond to Douglas, the man sighs in an attempt to cool off. He approaches the bed and takes Louis' chin in his hand, tilting it close to his. 

"I'm sorry, babe." He smoothens out Louis' quivering bottom lip. "Didn't mean to shout at you. I'm just angry."

"It's okay." Louis smiles weakly. 

"Yeah?" He presses his dry lips to Louis'. "I'm forgiven?"

Louis _giggles_ and let's Douglas push him down on the bed. The mattress dips under the newly added mass. 

Louis tries to take Douglas' kisses without protesting or whining about how he doesn't want to do this now. To be honest with himself, green eyes and curls still haunt him. The previous violent nature of said individual is drowned out by the hurt it seems only Louis saw in those eyes. 

"Douglas?" Louis lightly shoves his shoulders. 

He doesn't detach him mouth from Louis' collarbone. "Hmm?"

"I-I don't want to do this."

And of course Douglas takes it the wrong way, as he does everytime he doesn't get what he wants. "What?"

"I'm tired and Phoebe's at school-"

"It's that _sick-o,_ isn't it? You're thinking about him."

"No!" Louis lies. He wasn't thinking about Harry in _that_ way. "I really don't feel like it."

"Whatever." Douglas gets off him and storms out of the room. "Don't call me tonight. I'm tired too."

Louis watches him leave, slamming his front door in the motion. Louis' eyes burn with the prickle of tears but he doesn't go after Douglas because he's just _tired._ He'd appreciate a relationship where he wasn't constantly on his toes about how to please his partner. It was a two-way street, or at least it supposed to be. Louis didn't want to think about it. 

It's not that Douglas is like this all the time. He's nice to Louis too. Buys him flowers and takes him out wherever he wants to go. Louis didn't like his motorcycle so Douglas got a car. They'd made love in that car, the back seat after a concert when they were too lazy to go home yet. Too buzzed. 

But when Douglas got mad, Louis wanted to cry. He frightened Louis to the extent of poor horror. The boy would lock himself in the bathroom if at Douglas' place while Douglas cooled off. He didn't like using blades to release the painful tension. He didn't. 

Now wasn't one of those times, however. Phoebe was still at school and he was trying to learn to be stronger. Every brochure that he's got secretly stashed under his bed, told him to speak to someone he trusted. Nobody had the time for his petty problems. 

Hanayen was there. Hanayen knew about every one of Louis' struggles and he offered as much solace as the furry creature could. Louis went back to bed and tried to fall asleep staring at the broken pen in his bin. 

Harry sat in his desk chair staring at the tree outside his window. It was a beautiful tree that he always hid in during childhood games. He remembers hide and seek with Gemma, then chuckling when he also recalls that she could never find him. 

_"Harry?"_ That melodious voice that made Harry's heart cry speaks from his bed. Louis was playing with the ends of his comforter like a nervous child. _"Do you love me?"_

Harry rolled his eyes against his better nature and crawled onto the bed beside Louis, lying on his back. "It's not that simple, Lou."

Louis' frantic expression makes Harry smile. He gently - always gently - pulls Louis to sit astride his lap, looking down at him anxiously. 

"I am in love with you." Harry whispers it so that it really sinks in. "And everyday I will love you more than the last."

Louis blushes and Harry wants to touch him. _"I love you, Harry. I miss you."_

What? Harry frowns and sits up, elbows straining painfully against the springs of his new mattress. He quickly reaches out for Louis' cheek, brushing his thumb across the defined cheekbone. 

He disappears. 

Louis was never there, sitting on his lap and talking nervously to him. It made Harry feel an unexplained emotion that tore at his being. It angered him that he had to work for Louis, annoyed him that Louis wasn't _his._ But he didn't mind the work, he didn't mind accomplishing anything if it was Louis at the end of the line. 

He screams into his pillow because that's all he can do to let it out. Let _anything_ out. He curls himself into a ball and kicks out against his bedding, crying loudly into the soft pillow. 

He ignored the urgent shouts from beyond his door, the calls to ensure his well-being. He blocks it all out because _everything_ isn't what he _wants._   
He tries to push his mind back into the world that made him happiest, except it was too difficult because reality kept fending him off. He bites the pillow case, creating jagged half-moons with his teeth as they clamp down. He wanted relief, he wanted the piece that was missing. 

He got up and went to his window, unlatching the lock and sliding out. He wouldn't be getting anything without working for it. 

Phoebe waited outside her school, bare feet digging into the sand pit until she could feel the cold plastic that held the shallow structure in place. Louis was supposed to be here ten minutes ago but her little secret was that she enjoyed having a few extra minutes to spare before she had to leave the school yard. Everyone was always in such a hurry. 

"Hey, Phoebe." Louis is standing over her on the opposite end of the pit. 

"Hi." She beams and stands to pointlessly dust herself off. 

Louis is sure to roll him sleeve down over his forearm before going to assist her. He kneels before her, dusting the remaining sand grains from the ruffles of her Ginger Mary dress while she swayed innocently. 

"How was school?" He asks because he hates silence. 

"Fun. We made cookies!" She clasps her hands at her front, a habit she picked up from him. 

"Did you keep any for me? I'm starving." Louis tries to play off the soft growl of his tummy. He really was hungry. 

She shakes her head. "We only got one. Sorry."

"That's alright." He stands and takes her bag, slinging it onto his shoulder before starting to walk with her hand in his. "What if we made our own when we get home?"

"Fun! I'll show you what Miss Rachel taught us."

"Deal." He smiles because he really loves his baby sister. "I'll use Gran's recipe, yeah?"

"Aw but then mine will suck." She pouts. 

"Nothing of yours sucks, Phoebe." He swings their hands a little. "Do you love doing things?"

"Sometimes."

"When do you hate it?"

"Plants." She frowns. "They're nice but they're so.....dirty."

He chuckles. "Plants give us oxygen."

She blinks up at him. "We won't survive without oxygen, Phoebs. Oxygen is the air we breathe."

"Oh. Where's mommy?"

"At work. I don't know when she'll be back tonight."

"Oh that's fine. We can bake and then let them decide which is better."

"Challenge accepted." He unlocks their front door. "Go on up and have a wash."

"Okay!" She calls back over her shoulder while running up the stairs one at a time. 

He laughs to himself while going into the kitchen to get the things out for Phoebe's baking request. When all the bowls are out and necessary utensils, he decides to change out of his jeans because he'd rather bustle around the kitchen in slacks or boxers. The loose ones Phoebe got him last year. 

He jogs up the steps, hearing the bathroom's tap running as he steps into his room. The shadow stood by his window goes unnoticed until he flips on the light switch and turn around. His heart drops to the floor and a hand clamps down over his mouth before he can scream. 

"Shh, Lou. It's me."


	4. Chapter 4

_Lust lasts for but a moment. Love goes on for generations._

**He jogs up the steps, hearing the bathroom's tap running as he steps into his room. The shadow stood by his window goes unnoticed until he flips on the light switch and turn around. His heart drops to the floor and a hand clamps down over his mouth before he can scream.**

**"Shh, Lou. It's me."**

Louis does let out a smothered shriek against Harry's sweaty palm that smelt of moss and perspiration. He flailed his arms until Harry secured them with one of his own, applying pressure to the hand that now held freshly acquired band aids. Louis hissed and tried to kick Harry but he was just too _small._

"Please don't scream. I won't hurt you." 

Harry looks at him earnestly and Louis nods slowly, figuring that if he did scream only his baby sister would hear. He wanted her far away from this. It is a shame that his dad took Hanayen to work today.   
Harry removes his hand from Louis mouth slowly, cautiously as if waiting to see if Louis will disobey his request. He doesn't and Harry exhales from relief. 

"W-Why are you here?" Louis stammers. 

Harry searches his eyes and comes up dry. "I came to see you."

Louis wasn't expecting that response, and so he grips the doorknob a little tighter. 

Harry notices and frowns in confusion. Louis looked like a helpless animal, cornered by their enemy. He would never hurt Louis. 

He raises his hand to Louis' cheek but hesitates. "Can I?"

Louis stops shaking and just stares. "What?"

"Touch you."

"Where?"

Harry stretches his fingers so they brush against Louis' skin. "There."

"What if I say no?" Louis was just curious. 

Harry instantly curls his fingers, breaking the contact between the tips and Louis' face. "I won't do it then."

Louis tilts his head to the side. "Why not?"

"Because it would make you uncomfortable."

Louis was completely thrown by this stranger's appealing courtesy. However, he wasn't positively certain that it all just wasn't an act. Louis didn't want to aggravate this strange boy, so he didn't shout nor did he indulge him. Who knew what the sinister ideal was? 

Louis reigned in his willpower and spoke in a shaky voice. "Is that all you came for?"

Harry frowned and stumbled back, allowing Louis space to breathe. "I-I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"I don't know why I came." Harry looks to floor and the ceiling for guidance. "I just knew that I had to."

"Can I ask you something?" Louis looked at Harry's eyes, satisfied that it proved to be a suitable distraction. It had gold specks in them as he had green specks in his. 

"Anything, Lou."

"Why do you call me that?" Louis blurts and covers his mouth with the tips of his fingers once it's out. "That-That wasn't my question."

Harry stands awkwardly, the corners of his mouth twitching because he didn't know whether to smile or stay grim. He settled for something in between. 

"I like to." Harry states, but upon realising that he sounded so arrogant apologises immediately. "But I thought you liked it......also."

Louis tilts his head to the side, hand releasing the door and stepping forward. Harry steps back. What?

"Will you really....try?" 

Louis is dodging bullets with Harry's questions. "Try what, Harry?"

"Being my friend." Harry grimaces from the cold. "It isn't.....it isn't that I'm forcing you, I just......really want to I guess."

Louis feels pity. "Why me then? I've done nothing for you in the past." 

Harry looks at him for the third time with that helpless gleam in his eye, it was a haunted piece of himself that only shone through the green forestry of his eyes.

"You saved me." Harry's words are no stronger than his will. 

Louis is shot down by instant insecurity. He blushes despite himself and fidgets with the sleeve of his jacket. He's got Harry's words locked in his memory vault. "We.....we didn't know each other."

"To me, we did." He admits, cowering away from the truth. "It was too real to let go of."

"Harry-"

"No." Harry snapped, his light eyes darkening. "All anyone is telling me is that it isn't..." He runs his hand through his hair, gripping it tightly in his fist and unfeeling of the pinch. "That it isn't _real._ I can't hear that again."

Losing contact with his moral compass for just a moment, Harry takes a large stride toward Louis who steps back. 

"They say I made it all up." Harry steps closer, Louis' heart rabbits in his confined chest. 

"They tell me that I have to leave you alone because you don't care about me." Harry briefly looks out the window before turning back to Louis. Louis' lips are parted to accommodate the large gulps of air he's inhaling painfully. 

"I can't do that, Louis. I can't do that to myself because I know it'll hurt us both." A slight hint of that softness returns to his smile, and Louis can only hear the blood pouring through his veins and feeding his heart. 

"I _know_ it wasn't real. I bloody _know_ that but that doesn't make me stop wanting it." Harry murmurs. 

Louis has fallen into a seated position on his bed, his palms flat on the mattress and the unsavoury itch spreading in his arm. It rose whenever his sensitive skin was too heated and beginning to sweat. 

"Please don't hurt me." Louis avoids Harry's gaze at all costs. 

He doesn't see the dread flood into Harry's eyes when he drops to his knees. He just sees Harry crawl closer until his head was in Louis' lap. 

"No, no. Lou? Lou, I'd never." Harry gushes. "I'd _never_ do anything remotely close to that."

Louis tries to get Harry off him. He doesn't know this guy. "Harry, I don't know-"

"What's this?" Harry's staring at his wrist. Oh fuck. 

Louis hurriedly covers his entire hand, creating the jacket equivalent of sweater paws for himself. He curled his arms against his chest and failed to lift his knees. He wanted to run away so badly. 

"Don't hide from me." Harry prompts, nudging his chin on Louis' knees. 

"I don't know you." Louis exhales and if Harry hadn't been sitting this close to the boy, he'd never had heard anything. 

"Please, Lou." Harry is pleading now. "Let me show you who I am. I want to do that."

"Harry, I have a boyfriend."

"I know." Harry hisses. "But if he did that to you then...."

Harry had Louis' jacket sleeve in his grip and Louis yanked it out of his hold. "How _dare_ you?!"

Harry blinks rapidly in confusion, stretching forward his arm that went on for miles. "Lou-"

"Get out." Louis curts. "Get the _Hell_ away from me."

How dare he come into Louis' room? Albeit, uninvited and unwelcome. Then ask to be _friends._ Louis was not an idiot, and he didn't have the time to be messed around with. He'd tell Douglas about this. Yes, he would. Douglas would know what to do. 

Harry was not just confused, now he stood by Louis' bedroom window feeling like a waste of effort. Louis wouldn't look at him anymore. 

"I didn't come here to offend you, Louis." Harry says slowly. "It really wasn't my intention. I want you as a friend."

"We all can't have what we want. Get out." Louis tries to mask his nastiness. 

"Louis listen to me-"

"Harry enough." Louis never was able to shout at another individual if it was prompted. "Understand that what you think is real, isn't. It never was and it won't ever be. Whatever your fascination is with me, isn't worth it. Move. On."

To a normal person, that was the best and finest cut form of therapy. Harry isn't normal. He was determined because nobody - not even Louis - knew the peace this smaller boy's presence brought to him. He'd die early without him. 

In a fit of ambitious purpose, Harry surges forward and nails Louis to the door with all his limbs and hips. Louis squirms but doesn't let out a peep. The fear in his eyes is temporary and Harry knows it.

Slowly - gently now - Harry laces their fingers together against the door, Louis' fingers remaining straight and stiff. Harry would let it go for now. With new-found grace, he inhales Louis' scent off his neck and jaw, his forehead and cheek. He takes as much as he can. Louis knew every movement he rendered would rattle the door so he submitted to Harry's forwardness without thought. He couldn't defend himself even if he was terrified. 

His mind raced but Harry's was mellow. Harry stared at the spot below Louis' ear, reddened but never moist. He wanted to kiss it like he used to. He knew he'd regret this if he did, the same for if he did not. So he did, he's got nothing to lose. 

"Harry? Harry, please-" 

"You _are_ worth it." Harry curls his arms around his own neck, taking Louis' hands with him. He loved how his body completely enveloped Louis'. 

"Don't do this." Louis' voice trembled much like he did. 

"I'd never hurt you." He repeats. "I'll tell that to you everyday-" Another chaste kiss to the skin. "-every moment-" One more to Louis' stubbly jaw that he'd been asked to shave. -"until you believe me."

Louis won't hide his awe any longer. This person didn't know him, _terrified_ him beyond reason to the point of shivering, they hadn't spoken prior to today and most definitely never touched like this, yet he managed to ease so many of Louis' misconceptions. He managed to soothe Louis' insecurities and make them better. A psycho with schizophrenia did that to him, a self-harming twenty-year-old with an empty smile. 

All in a day's meeting. 

"I deserve you." Harry made it a praise to Louis. Everything he'd said thus far was a praise to Louis. 

Douglas' face floated back and Louis had to leave his fantasy. "As a friend."

Harry nodded begrudgingly and released all of Louis. "They're taking me away tomorrow."

"What?"

"To rehab. Somewhere in Middleston though. Will you.......visit me?"

"Harry, I can't-"

"Just one weekend. For my therapy session."

Louis exhales and ignores the throbbing of his arm. "Fine."

Harry beams and Louis turns to jelly. He hadn't seen Harry's smile ever and it's magnificent. He had dimples punctuating each end and all polished teeth. Louis wished he could smile like that. He didn't have dimples, his cheeks would probably just crease up and leave ugly lines on his face. Hmph. 

"Louis!" Phoebe's much too high-noted voice carries past the door and Harry's head snaps in its direction. 

"Is that....." Harry steps forward but Louis very quickly grabs the door handle to hold it closed. 

"You have to go. Please, Harry. She can't see you."

There's already the soft rapping of her knuckles against his door creating sound waves and vibrations he can feel through his nervous sweats. 

"Go downstairs, Phoebe. I'll be there in a second!" He calls to her. 

"But I left something...." She trails off as the knob starts rotating. 

Louis mouths the word 'Go' to Harry multiple times before he decides to listen. Stepping away from the door proved to be a formidable error when it creaks open for Phoebe to step inside. Harry's only just touched the window sill. 

She looks up from the floor and her eyes widen at the scene before her. Louis contemplates whether or not to just carry her out with him. 

"Harry?" She asks.


	5. Chapter 5

_**[A/N: I love when you guys start panicking at the end of an update and start throwing assumptions at me. Haha it's so adorable :') I love you all and I'm saying this before I move from my bed, with morning breath, so it must be true. Anyway, this is the last update of ze weekend and I hope you like it. Please like it, I can't handle rejection. And to @Larry-skittles2202 babe don't cry :( hug?]** _

_My demons found a home with yours._

**"Harry?" She asks.**

Harry's eyes flutter from Louis to the small girl who seems to know him on a first-name basis. He cocks his head to the side towards his shoulder, gazing down with a tiny frown. 

"Phoebe?" Louis addresses his sister. "How do you know h-him?"

Phoebe is ages younger than Louis and anyone she met, he'd already approved of them. 

"Harry's my friend." She responds chirpily, stepping into the room with an easy smile. "Mommy used to ask him to watch me sometimes."

 _Oh fucking Hell_ , Louis thinks. Of course his mom and Harry's mom were friends since conception and always went back and forth with the sweet favours.   
Harry and he were probably mates at one point. What if they were? At an age where neither were aware enough to register anything of importance. This is further alarming to Louis. 

He must have lost himself to his thoughts because now Harry was staring at him as if to ask, _Is this true?_ How the Hell is he supposed to answer that? 

"Wanna bake with us, Harry?" Phoebe yanks both boys away from their staring contest. 

Louis immediately scrambles for an excuse. He could be in immense trouble, deep and never-ending dillemmas if one of his parents were to waltz in to casually catch Harry here. Harry's - nicely put - state of mind needed to be considered, always. Louis' mother won't be very gracious in accepting that he has promised to visit the rehab center for one of Harry's therapy sessions. 

Harry seems to catch on to Louis' uneasiness. "I already promised my sister, love." He turns on the charm he's been especially gifted with. Louis watches on in fascination. "Another time, yes?"

"Okay." She smiles in childish innocence, slipping her hand into her brother's and tugging. "Lou? You promised!"

"Coming, sweetheart." Louis admonishes. "Go on down and let me uh...say goodbye."

"Alright. Bye, Harry!" She waves to him before skipping out of the room and both males watch her go. 

"Y-You should go." Louis says after a brief pregnant silence. "I have to go check on her."

"Oh. Yes, alright." Harry answers, reluctantly stepping through Louis' window. "Bye, Lou."

He disappears in the fading daylight without so much as a glance backwards. Harry didn't think he'd leave if he did. Louis clenched his fists and stared at the wall below his window, tracing the bubbles of dried paint to keep from going to the window and finding his latest acquaintence's shadow. 

Phoebe is obediently seated at the kitchen counter with her robe on when Louis arrives in comfortable attire. Sighing loudly, he gets to work on positioning Phoebe's stool by the sink so she could rinse out the pans and trays. 

"Lou?" She calls as he's pulling out eggs from the fridge. 

"Phoebs?" He hums. 

"Why is Harry in trouble?"

And Louis is stumped for the second time by his baby sister. "What do you mean?"

"He had that thing on his leg. I remember Mommy saying it made sure bad people stayed where they were supposed to."

Oh fuck. Louis drops the egg carton onto the counter. He hadn't noticed an monitoring anklet on Harry's foot. He didn't look that low so it's forgivable, yes? _No_ , he answers himself. He needed to check that anklet, see whether it would give a print-out of Harry's whereabouts - example Louis' own bedroom where he could get into an enormous amount of punishment. 

What about Phoebe? What difference would it make going over there? Does Harry know? If he did, maybe he wouldn't have come. Louis doesn't even know the distance allowed on that device. Mentally cursing his stupidity, Louis carries Phoebe from the stool to his hip before going for the door. 

"Lou!" She shrieks, making grabby hands at the sink where she was forced to abandon her task. "Where are we going?!"

"To visit someone." He replies, shoving his Renault keys into his jacket pocket. 

"Lou!" She whines. "You promised!"

"I know, love. I just need to do something real quick."

"Fine." She crosses her arms on his shoulder and let's him carry her out into his car after picking up the keys from the floor. 

Lost Lake is a five-minute drive from Louis' house, and with Phoebe fidgeting with the radio it took ten. Pulling up in front of the house Louis starts to doubt his motives. What difference would this make exactly? If he really wanted to make a difference, then he should be at home preparing a list of excuses with the process of Trial and Error. But he's already here now. 

Knocking on the front door is simple enough. Phoebe is busy with Louis' newly purchased phone, and he is estimating a one to three hundred dollar repair expense now. 

"Hi?" It comes out as a question when Anne answers the door and her frown is swapped out for a surprise.

"Hi. I'm Louis-" 

"I know who you are." She smiles, stepping to the side and widening the opened space. "Come in, dear. Is that Phoebe in the car?"

"Um yes. She.....didn't want to come in." Upstairs, Harry's attention sparks and he sits up from playing with Hamster at his desk. 

"Well she can't stay out there all by herself. Gemma!" She wipes her hands on her dishtowel. "Why are you here, son?"

"Uh. To....To see him." Louis has never been one for one-on-one conversations. "Harry."

"Oh." She glances toward the stairs. "Upstairs. Go on up."

"Thanks." Louis was at the nervous stage of shivering. What was he even doing?

"Louis?" She stops him on the sixth step. 

"Are you.....sure?"

Louis' heart may have cracked a little at the tone she used. She was asking him if he was okay with speaking to Harry, like it was kind but not compulsory. 

"I am." He smiles and she smiles back just as a ginger-haired girl steps out of the living room, tucking in the duck tail that formed at her back. 

"Hi." She greeted him. "I'm Gemma."

"Louis."

"Here for my brother?"

Louis was thrown - he lost count of the amount of time that's happened to him this past day. "Y-Yes. Is that alright?"

"It's fine." She smiles. "Tell him it's turn to cook dinner and I'm waiting."

"I-I will." He stumbles up the rest of the steps, slightly in a twilight daze. 

Gemma was trying to hide everything that normally hurt a person when they found out their sibling was not all that.....normal. She was good at it and Louis found himself wishing he could be like her. 

He taps his knuckles against Harry's door. It's the slightly ajar one where he can see Harry's curls on the inside. Why didn't anyone tell him which room was his?

Harry doesn't call back, he rises and opens the door himself because he wanted to. He doesn't bother with the formality of hiding his shock, green eyes getting a little wider and eyebrows lifting a smidget in height. 

"You have-" Louis starts. 

"Come in." Harry cuts him off.

Deciding it best not to anger him, Louis obliges. Harry's room is bland and empty. No posters on the walls and just the bare essentials. Louis liked it. 

"You have an anklet." Louis states, more clearer this time. He now purposely looks down Harry's leg to see the black strap on his skinny jeans. 

"I know." Harry blocks the window. 

"It's meant to watch where you go."

Harry nods calmly. 

"They'll know you came-" 

"What happened to you?" Harry is speaking through his teeth, tightly clenched and _furious._ The green of his eyes is lost to a dark shadow, his nostrils are flared at the tip of his nose is red like he is combatting the seasonal flu. 

"What?" Louis jumps back, afraid of Harry's snappy question. 

Harry closes the distance between them and takes Louis' arm, ignoring the pointless squirming Louis does. He tries to take his wrist back but Harry is much too strong for him, so he goes for turning around and blocking the horrid sight from Harry. Nobody wanted to see that part of him. 

"Harry, they'll know you came to my room. I'll be-" 

"Was it that _bastard_ from the station?"

"Harry!" Louis gasps, outraged that Harry's previous demeanor was but a mask worn to fool Louis. 

"He hurt you-"

"This isn't what I came for." Louis sighs. He hated confrontation. "I came to ask you about- What are you doing?"

Louis knew what Harry was doing. A comforting act of lightly tracing Louis' scars that started from his shoulder in a horrid view down to his wrist. It was ugly, he knew that. Each cut had healed over and was now black with scabbing.   
The oldest - two months old - were far from being mere vanished or faded emotional wounds. [(x)](http://38.media.tumblr.com/001e4a44133a8b6f6af79b2f54aba049/tumblr_mod1luAmOY1snv9yto3_250.jpg)

"I don't like this." Harry seems to murmur to himself. 

Louis has never been put into a situation as unnerving as this, it made him uneasy and extremely vulnerable. He didn't like to be touched - especially by persons he just encountered on not so pleasant standards. Harry seemed ignorant of all this, and while Louis squirmed against the door fumbling for the doorknob and abandoning all hope of having a decent conversation, he goes on to stare at the marks on Louis' skin. It aggravated Harry to see what another person has done to his Louis, he was certain now that only he is capable of keeping Louis happy. 

"Why?" Harry has to ask. 

"I didn't come here for this-"

"Tell me why you let this happen to you. I could have protected you."

"I don't bloody know you, Harry. And I don't think I'd ever want to considering all you point out is what's wrong with me!"

"There's nothing wrong with you, Lou." Harry doesn't look at him in the eye. "You're perfect."

Louis was about to argue again for the millionth time in twenty-four hours with Harry. He really was.   
But when Harry's lips drew closer and smashed against his, all coherent thought flew out the window. Now, he was _furious._

How _dare_ Harry kiss him? Who did he think he was? Being psycho suddenly gave him the pass to be rude and wayward, Louis hated that. He'd told Harry over and over that he had a boyfriend and was happy. 

He shoved Harry back with pent-up force, before opening the door and storming out with a violent slam to the doorframe. Harry stared at it blankly before blinking back to the present. He doesn't understand. 

"Louis?" Harry's mom looks at him with a puzzled expression, he's drawing the back of his hand across his lips for the twelfth time now. 

"I'm fine. Thank you for....letting me see him." In the middle of that sentence he realised that what he'd come here for, remains unaccomplished. That annoyed him further. 

"No problem, sweetie. You can visit whenever you'd like." She frowns while saying it. "Maybe when he gets back?"

Louis smiles out of courtesy to her. "Maybe."


	6. Chapter 6

_It's the soul that needs the surgery._

***LOUIS' POV***

"Where were you?" My dad let's the question slip as soon as I'm in the house, Phoebe slipping from my arms to run off towards the kitchen. 

"Took Phoebe out for a snack." I lie by ommission and flop down on the couch opposite to the television. "Mom in?" 

Phoebe comes in at that moment. "Daddy?"

"Mom's not here yet." He answers us both, straightening his newspaper after my baby sister squeezes her way onto his lap. 

"When will she be home?"

"Don't know, darling." 

He decides to distract her as I would, by showing her the candid photographs in the Middleston Daily. It's a technique that is of my standards. 

"Pizza?" I offer them with my phone raised in the air. 

"Sure. We should get some to your mom too." My dad replies. 

"Alright." I lazily lift myself off the couch, an arm braced under my weight to prevent any haphazard falls. 

My father briefly glances at me from his seated position on the couch with my sister on his lap. His frown lasts all of three seconds before he drops it for lack of the need to be noticed. I already did. I self consciously fold in on my left side, holding onto my elbow to conceal the multiple marks. Everyone hates them, including me. They're ugly and they just make every situation that much more scary. I couldn't help it though, it was a part of me. 

"I'll go down and get some, okay?" I tell them both before grabbing my keys and not forgetting my jacket this time. 

I shout a goodbye to them and the silent house on my way out, and down the driveway to my Renault. Not wanting to be left at the mercy of my thoughts, I turn on the radio. 

_All of the stars,_   
_you make them shine like they were ours._

I love this song, and bravely roll down my windows. Over a month ago, I'd have lit up a cigarette so I'd have reason to leave a trail of ash in my wake for the wind to take care of. I gave up smoking though, and now I've fallen victim to a method of coping with the harsh conduct of society in a way that was less harmful to the environment. 

Yes, this song was dedicated to all those females out there with big insecurities but guys had them too. Once again, society stood between us and actually having heartfelt moments. Douglas never liked this song, so I couldn't sing along around him. Too slow, he said, the world didn't need fake love songs.   
I guess that's why he opted to listen to Aerosmith instead of John Legend. Hmph. 

I wonder if Harry likes John Legend. It's a fairly odd and unorthodox question, especially since I'm _supposed_ to be furious at the curly-haired idiot. He just seemed too ignorant of everything to deserve that. Maybe he just needed someone to explain things to him? 

I sigh and pull into Mikky D's Take Away. He served some of the greasiest, most delicious pizzas this side of town. 

"Hey, Louis!" I'm immediately greeted by the owner. He has on a dirtied apron with a hair net over his bald head. 

"Hi, Mikky." I greet, zipping up my Ecko Ltd jacket because it was nippy outside. 

"What can I get ya?"

"Pizza. One of the usual and another with pineapple."

"Coming right up." He yells at what is the last remaining cook to hurry up with this order, before turning back to me. 

I'm fiddling with the straws on the counter, counting which ones were fully covered and which had the paper covering torn off. 

"Heard about what happened at the station, Louis." Mikky says slowly. 

Damn! Why did everyone have to know? "Word gets around fast here."

"It's a small town. People look out for each other."

I look up at him for a split second before lowering my gaze again. "Yeah."

"What did he say to you? The kid."

Why did people always call him that? He had a name. I knew I had no business getting defensive over a culprit of mental instability. God knows how rumours of such a scandalous affair will spread then. 

"Harry?" I respond. "Nothing."

"I know the boy myself. Really nice when he isn't.......you know-"

"Crazy."

"He isn't crazy." Mikky defends. "Dad left 'em so I guess he took that hard. How he went off his rocker, I don't know."

I nod solemnly. 

"Don't treat him too bad, yeah? He doesn't deserve what he got out of life."

I frown. "What do you mean?"

"Mean he has a heart of gold. Gold thorns though." Mikky chuckles weakly. "Heard he's going to rehab."

"Yeah."

"Gonna visit him there?"

"Why should I?"

"Because of what I just said. Give him a chance, okay?"

"I have-"

"A boyfriend. We _know._ " He grumbles and I blush. "I ain't asking you to share skin with him, Lou."

My cheeks heat up in spite of my reservations about any form of intimacy with Harry. 

"Come on, Lou." Mikky takes the hot lids from behind him to be boxed and handed over since I've already paid. "Don't get me worried here."

I smile at him. "I'm fine, Mikky. Not a glass pot."

"Most definitely not that." He laughs for my sake. "Take care, alright?"

"I will!"

I exit the brightly lit store with a fading redness to my cheeks and white whispers being blown in the air with each breath of mine. With the food in my left hand, I open my car door with the right and get in. 

The police station is partly my second home. It will fall in third place when I finally hear back from any one of the sixteen colleges I applied to, and I'd have to move there. 

"Hey, Louis." The Deputy greets me with a smile. "Your mom's in her office."

"Thanks, Deputy." I give him a salute then head to my mom's familiar office. 

"Hey, kiddo." She looks up from her paperwork with a tired grin. "That for me?"

"Yeah." I take a seat across from her on the cushioned seat. "When are you coming home?"

"When I can finally put this case to sleep. Anne's uh.....asked me for a favour."

"Favour?" I leave the pizza box on her table atop her current work and she scowls at me. 

"Aha. She just wants me to get Harry his own room." 

The mention of Harry's name stops me from leaning forward a few inches to steal a slice of pineapple encrusted goodness. 

"He'd have to share otherwise and she doesn't think he needs that."

 _Needs_ that? My sympathy for the estranged and lanky individual just multiplies. "Oh."

"You went to see him?" She smirks. "Up on Lost Lake."

"Christ!" I slouch in my chair and let my arms flail about in an informal circle. "How do people know things so quickly?"

"Word gets around." She echoes me with a laugh. "I'm surprised you're not...."

"Pissed? Hateful? Angry? Depressed?"

"Sober." She quirks an eyebrow at me. "You were very stiff earlier on when Harry erupted on us all. Didn't think you'd give him the time of day."

 _Oh I gave him the time of day._ "I'm not saying he doesn't scare me."

"He shouldn't though. He's a lovely kid, everyone knows him."

"Is that why everyone's asking me to cheat on my boyfriend?"

"No one's asking you to do that." She exasperates. "Douglas is a good guy too."

"But?"

"But I've only known him for two minutes at a time and-"

"Mom!" I whine. "Not this again."

"I worry about you, baby." She reprimands softly. "You're my son and I never want to see you get hurt."

My shoulders hunch and I bring my knees up to hug my chest. "I'm not."

"You never had those cuts before Douglas, Louis."

"I smoked before him."

"And _that_ is an improvement?"

I look away from her, at the floor where I know my rapid blinking to hoard back the tears will go unnoticed. I didn't need this right now, after today of all days. 

"I don't know what you're saying to me." I speak quietly, I hardly think I can be heard. 

"I'm saying that maybe you should take my advice this once."

"And break up with Douglas?" I shiver at the thought, the outrageous idea. I loved Douglas. What would happen to him if I left? To me? He'd be so angry with me and I'd be heartbroken. 

"Not yet. You were so taken with him that you never stopped to think." She rolls her pen between her hands. "Maybe just....evaluate all your options?"

I smile wryly and wipe my face with the back of my sleeve. "Don't tell me you think Harry's a saint too?"

"Not a saint." She sits back. "A good person."

"Unbelievable."

"What?"

"Everyone has the same bloody thing to say about him, everyone fucking _loves_ him. Then why is he going to rehab tomorrow? Why is it suddenly my responsibility to make him better? I. Don't. Know. Him."

"First, watch your tongue." She sits forward. "Second, the boy's had a life harder than most. He'd appreciate some help with coping."

"And am I expected to be his coping method?"

"He won't use you, Lou. We'd never ask you to spend time with him if it would be beneficial to you both."

"Be my mom this once. Tell me what my mom wants to say." I look at her earnestly in the eye. 

She sighs and gets up to walk around the table. "I'm asking for your help, so is Anne. I'm asking you to do me this one favour and help make someone else's son better. Can you help me, Lou?"

I take a deep breath to steady my rampant thoughts. Maybe I could do this for her, for Harry's mom. I won't let it go too far and I won't get carried away myself. Everyone couldn't be wrong about Harry. 

I stand up and nod once. "Okay."

She smiles and extends her arm towards me. I shake my head and step back but she hauls me forward into a hug only mothers could give. "Thank you, Lou."

"No problem." And if my voice trembled a little at the thought of enlightening Douglas on this subject, no one needed to care. 

"I want you happy, alright? If you can't handle it then you'll tell me."

"I will."

"Let's get to this pizza now, yeah?"

"Yeah." 

_**[A/N: Just thought I'd let you all know: Douglas Booth is Douglas.]** _


	7. Chapter 7

_Surrender to the whims of your imagination._

***NARRATOR'S POV***

Harry sat staring at the television. It was a rerun of an old English sitcom that Harry would crack up because of under any other circumstances. Now, he was just _numb._  
He'd made Louis angry yesterday, when he came to visit Harry. That, he seemed to never forgive himself for because he was working so hard to gain Louis' trust. He hated himself for his irresponsibility. 

"Harry?" Gemma walks into the living room fully dressed and ready to go. 

She was driving him to the rehab center and they were due to live......well, twenty minutes ago. He kept stalling under the insistence that Louis would come to see him off. 

"Yeah?" He looks up from the box telly.

"Gotta go now, big bro." She smiles because she has to. "Looks like it could rain."

And of course it wasn't safe to drive in the rain. He was so stupid. "Sorry."

His bags were packed and stuffed into the boot of their family Hyandai. His mother would be running out with a plate of something for Harry to eat while he's there, it would just be taken away by the wardens because what one has everyone deserves. 

Harry had a reasonable argument.

  
*******

His room was tiny and had two beds, which was a cut above unsettling. Would he be having a roommate? He really wouldn't appreciate one because Harry preferred isolation. Except when Louis came to visit like he promised, of course not then. 

"Like it?" Gemma drops his smallest bag onto his iron-wrought bed. 

He hums mindlessly staring out the window at the gathering mist that arrived before a storm. _When would Lou be coming?_

"It's twice the size of my bed if you push these two together." She offers. 

"No one's coming?" Harry speaks so softly that he isn't sure his sister heard, it was fine if she didn't. 

"No. Mom said she got you this room all to yourself." 

He nods and sits down on the thin mattress. He thought the room was sufficient for him, almost like his own room back home. Two beds that he would not push together - sorry Gemma - because then there's more empty space. More loneliness. 

Gemma sat next to him and put her head on his shoulder. They were always close, and this won't destroy their bond. She won't deny that she felt a little rejected, because all Harry did lately was ask for Louis. Louis, who was never there when he woke up crying. Louis, who had turned her brother down more than once. Louis, who Harry was irrevocably in love with. 

"When's your first session?" She asks to distract herself and Harry's wandering thoughts. 

"Today." He looks at his chunky watch that she got him two years back. "In an hour."

"What are you going to say?"

"Dunno." He shrugs with one shoulder so he won't shove his sister away. 

"I'm sorry Mom didn't come inside." 

Their mother only made it to the door before breaking into a fit of tears, Harry hugged and calmed her before saying goodbye. He was still her boy, just needed a little coaxing from a particular somebody. 

"I know she didn't want to. It's fine."

***LOUIS' POV***

I hated mornings like this. The sun never came out and when my eyes finally split open I was under the illusion that I had a few more hours of sleep. Wrong. Now, I was sharing my bed with my less than discreet other half who was snoring and keeping me up.   
I didn't mind though. Douglas' snores were soft and kind of rhythmic, I'd giggle when they got too loud and he'd wake up smiling. I'd watch him sleep, brushing away the hair that got in his eyes and secretly kissing spots on his face. 

Douglas spent the night last night after I'd arrived home and unexpectedly found him sprawled across my bed. I was too emotionally exhausted and physically drained to do more than crawl up beside him and fall asleep after a quick kiss. He was happy to oblige.   
Now, I had a lot to tell him. It's morning and I had to visit Harry in rehab in a few hours. Douglas deserved to know at the very least. 

"Lou?" Douglas groans as he sleeps into consciousness, gripping Louis' waist tightly and hiding his face. 

"Have to wake up now." I say softly, carding through his ruffled hair. 

"Why?" 

"I have somewhere to be." I bite my lip. 

"Where? You didn't say before."

"I-I....It just came up yesterday."

He huffs and makes no effort to move. I roll my eyes and lightly shove his shoulder to stir him. 

"Louis......no." Douglas complains and rolls over to face his back to Louis. "I want to sleep."

"You'll be here alone then."

"Fine." 

"Hey!" I lightly slap his shoulder. 

My breath gets knocked out of me when he grabs me and rolls me under his bigger frame. My hands are pinned to the mattress and my neck is exposed to his teeth. The comforter was an uncomfortable feeling against my sensitive arm and I tried to wriggle away but Douglas held me down. 

"You know I don't mean it, Lou." He breathes against the slight dip at my collarbone. "Love me?"

"Love you." I kiss the tip of his nose and squirm about. "Douglas?"

"Hmm." He noses at my throat. 

"C-Can you let go of my hand?"

"Oh. Sorry." He immediately releases my caged limb and I flex my wrist. I've always wondered why Douglas never said anything about the marks on my arm, though he saw it the most out of everyone. "Douglas?"

"Lou?" I guess it's not just Harry that calls me that. The reminder of the boy may bring a foreign beat of emotion, that puzzles and excites my selfish side. I was allowed to have that. Right?

"Do you love me?"

"Just said that, Louis."

"No but.....then why don't you....say anything?"

"About?" He looks up, his body mass propped up on his elbows as he looks down at me. 

This was a horrible idea. Pathetic. "Nothing. Leave it."

"Lou, come on. Don't be upset. What did I say?"

It's what you _didn't_ say. I shake my head and try to sit up. 

"Louis." 

He sighs, taking my hand and tugging me forward. I sort of hated hugging Douglas' hard chest now because it was so muscular and very uncomfortable but I did it because I loved him and that's what our love is. 

"I don't ask you about these-" He doesn't bother to touch the scars on my arm, and I grimace because it feels like a toxin. "-because I know you don't want to talk about them. I don't know why you did this to yourself, love."

So he _didn't_ want to know why? That brought me to the surprising and inevitable comparison between him and Harry once again. Harry asked in a soft - but demanding - voice what had happened, and we didn't know each other. 

"Okay." My voice is teeny. 

"I'll just......imagine you fell off a bike or something."

A _bike_? The bloody fool was satisfied with my cuts being explained as a bicycle mishap? The audacity! 

Tears spring to my eyes. I thought he'd want to know, comfort me maybe? But he couldn't just settle for less than the truth. That hurt. 

"Oh baby. Don't cry." He holds me close but I feel that hesitance. Only I ever could. 

I don't cry, no sobs escape me. My throat's dry and my voice seems to catch in a horrid lump with my every attempt to speak. My fingers curl into stiff grip on Douglas' shoulder, my mouth slightly open to inhale oxygen and calm myself. 

"You okay?" He slowly runs a path up and down my back. I felt his fingers dip at the spine and slide over the bones that could be seen if you cared to look. 

I nod, taking shaky long breaths with my lips against his skin. I felt cold because of the bare skin of mine that's exposed. "I'm c-cold."

"Oh." He, for a brief moment, fumbles about in his mind for a coherent solution before engulfing me in a hug. 

I sigh and accept it. 

***NARRATOR'S POV* (because I'm just not ready to write in Harry's POV yet *sob*)**

Harry sits in Dr. Michael's office. It's past the psyche ward and two doors into a coridoor that gives him the creeps. It doesn't show though, already his persona for his fellow 'inmates' is that he is the bad guy with nothing to lose. Wrong. 

"So, Harry. How are we today?" The licensed professional takes a seat beside him rather than at the correct side of his desk. 

Harry nods, staring out the window like he has been ever since he arrived and Gemma left. _Where is Lou?_

"Do you know why you're here, Harry?" Dr. Michael adjusts his coat even though it's perfectly straight. 

Harry looks at him for a moment long enough to say he didn't want to answerr any questions, before turning back to the window. 

"Harry. I can help you, we can help you."

Harry was sure they could, the problem arose with the hard fact that he didn't want _their_ help. 

"Waiting for him?" 

This, Harry gives the doctor his attention for. With his head tilted to the side, he waits for further words. 

The doctor saw hope. "What's his name?"

"How did you know?" Is Harry's first response. 

"I'm your therapist, Harry. I went out on a limb."

Harry smiles for the sake of this humor and looks down at his lap. "Louis."

"That's his name?"

Harry nods. 

"Did he say he was coming?"

"Yes."

"And is he late?"

Harry frowns at the fabric of his jeans. "I don't know."

"What's he like?"

"Who?"

"Your Louis." 

The doctor knows that's probably the worst possible thing you can say to a recovering patient, but the glint of something happy in Harry's eye when he said it can't be mistaken. Harry was glad that someone did support them. 

_Your Louis,_ he kept thinking on a loop. _Mine._

"Harry?" The doctor coughs into his fist. 

"Oh. Sorry." Harry straightens his posture but there's nothing that can be done about the prominent curve of his shoulders and back now. 

"Will you tell me about Louis?"

Harry nods and smiles at the doctor's desk. Louis always made him smile. "He's perfect. For me, that is. He is perfect but I don't want other people to see it too, you know? Then they'll......"

"Try to take him away?"

Harry nods with a flinch. "Won't let it happen though."

"What do you remember about Louis?"

This, Harry cannot answer. 

"Harry?"

"I don't-I don't remember."

"Why not?"

"I don't know." 

Harry becomes fidgety and uncomfortable; crossing and uncrossing his legs, digging his nails into the chair then his lap then his own sweaty palms, biting the inside of his cheek until it bleeds and he's up and walking.

_Why can't I remember? Why can't I remember Louis?_ He taunts himself until the doctor decides this method of approach wasn't good and calls for the nurses. 

"No. What are you doing?" Harry backs away from the men in scrubs. He didn't want them, he needed Louis. 

"We're taking you back to your room, Harry." One of them say. 

"Is Louis here?"

"Yes, he's waiting." He wasn't but poor Harry didn't need to know that. A sedative would rid him of the grief. 

"Okay." He goes willingly now, only because he didn't see the needle. 

***LOUIS' POV***

I enter Grey Earl Rehabiliation Center at noon, scanning the reception area for someone to speak with. I came alone after Douglas had a meltdown about me coming at all, got really close to throwing a stapler at me before he stormed out.   
I knew I promised my mom I'd do this, and I had a responsibility to get it done. 

"Hi." I greet the tired-looking, run-down woman at the entry desk. 

"Can I help you?" She puts on a practised smile. 

"Yes, I uh.....am looking for someone. A patient here."

"Well, you came on time becaue most of 'em are in the common room. Name?"

"Harry Styles."

"Ah." She types it in and her face drops. "I'm afraid Harry is unavailable."

"Why? I was told I could visit him now."

"By who?"

"The Sheriff."

"Oh dear. Well, let me just...." She picked up her speeddial and pressed the number four. 

It rang for a while before she started speaking. "Harry Styles? Yes, him.......Oh? Hold on." She looks up at me with her hand over the receiver. "Your name?"

"Louis Tomlinson."

"Louis Tomlinson." She says back to the person on the other end while I lazily browse the titles that cover the numerous pamphlets. "Oh alright then. Yeah."

I look to her for some guidance when she's done hanging up. 

"You can go in. Harry's doctor says he wants to see you. Ask for Dr. Michael."

"Thanks." I tap the desk once with my fingernail before leaving towards what I deem as the common room. 

"Louis, yes?" A man finds me before I start asking around. "Been expecting you. How are you?"

"Fine. Expecting me?"

"Yes, well we have a problem."

"We?"

"Louis, did Harry ask you to visit him?"

"Yes." 

"He doesn't know that." The man motions for me to follow him down a hallway. "He's relapsed."

I frown deeply. How could that be?

"It is rare, extremely so and very unpredictable. But, what's happened is Harry's mind chose the most comfortable environment for him. I'm saying, he didn't like something so for him, it never happened."

"So-"

"So, we're back to square one."


	8. Chapter 8

_Come with me to forever._

**"He's relapsed."**

**I frown deeply. How could that be?**

**"It is rare, extremely so and very unpredictable. But, what's happened is Harry's mind chose the most comfortable environment for him. I'm saying, he didn't like something so for him, it never happened."**

**"So-"**

**"So, we're back to square one."**

***HARRY'S POV* (Because I'm ready now - I hope.)**

**_[A/N: Thought I'd put this everywhere now to just lessen the confusion. This scene (below) is one from Hide & Seek; and as you may pick up now, everything was actually in Harry's POV because of his schizophrenia. Who remembers this scene? O.o]_ **

_I'm certain that the colour from my cheeks drain out pitifully. I listen to the padding of what could be bare feet looming above our heads, the thumping gets heavier and it resembles a person running. Running from what? To what?_

_"Don't be scared." I say with a faint smile._

_The running has ceased and the temperature of the room has dropped. Goosebumps rise on my legs and arms, crawling up my neck until every part of me feels the chill._

_"Don't be afraid, Lou."_

_Cold breath that smelt of death. It brushes the skin of my nape and I resist the impulse to cover it with my palm._

_"You smell so sweet."_

_"Fuck, Harry. I don't care."_

_The light buzzes and flickers._

_"Look at me."_

_Louis shakes his head in refusal._

_"Hey. It's me. Louis, look at me please." ___

__I blink thrice and it's over, a mere flickering image that could now go uncared for. Not by me. My arms were empty of Louis and the room has entirely been altered. The walls are so white that my eyes require an adjustment period; I'm on a bed that isn't mine, wearing clothes that don't belong to me._ _

__Louis._ _

__The one thing that I'd like to see above all before moving from my current state, is absent. I frown and fumble with the sheets until I give up after finding it cold and empty. Where is he? Why couldn't I see him?_ _

___Where am I?_ _ _

__***LOUIS' POV*** _ _

__When an alarm goes off everyone's attention seems to snap in one direction - towards the corridor of a ward nearby. Dr. Michael hurries off with two nurses - both male - to a door at the farthest end. I don't get to see what is within that room but managed to sneak a peek into what could be a patient having an attack? His back is to me and I get to see the strong outline of his shoulders before the door slams shut._ _

__Sighing, I start scratching at my wrists because the heat is getting to my scabbing cuts and causing itches of discomfort. I'm pretty sure I've drawn blood again before the door reopens and Dr. Michaels steps out._ _

__"Shouldn't be down here." Is the first thing he says. "Our patients are......dangerous sometimes."_ _

__"Oh. I'm sorry, I just-"_ _

__"It's fine." He chuckles, wiping his hand on his knee. "Do you want to see him?"_ _

__My eyes widen and my jaw stretches a little. They wanted to take me in there?_ _

__"To see Harry." He adds with a smirk._ _

__"O-Oh. Yes, please?" I don't know if it was a question or mere response of confirmation._ _

__I'm escorted only two feet before approaching another brown door with a net at the very top - identical to the ones I'd seen since arriving._ _

__"He should be awake." He says, twisting the handle to slowly open it. "It's unlocked because everyone's supposed to be in the common room but....."_ _

__I nod and try my hardest to stop scratching away at my skin, that's red and raw from the incessant attention._ _

__"Now, I'm coming in with you to check on him first. I'll leave, don't worry."_ _

__I shrug because frankly, I didn't need the doctor to leave. That would leave Harry and I alone in a room that's probably soundproof. Oh no. My heart rate picks up after he motions for me to follow him inside._ _

__The room is tiny but sufficient for one person. There are two beds and that makes me wonder how anyone expects two people to live here even if it is for just their recovery period. The beds are pushed together lazily, covers strewn everywhere and the curtains aren't drawn; he has a desk with no lamp and a cupboard made of plastic that locks._ _

__In the corner of the room, curled up in the bed against the wall, is Harry. His eyes are closed but he's frowning like he's in the middle of a bad dream. I instantly feel pity for the boy who has scared me more than anyone else, no one deserve scary dreams._ _

__"He's not asleep." Dr. Michael clears his throat._ _

__"Huh?"_ _

__"He's just had his meds so he'll be drowsy but he isn't sleeping. Harry!"_ _

__"No, wait." I try to shoosh the doctor. "I'll-I'll wake him up."_ _

__"There's a few hours left to spend in the main hall or garden. He can't stay in here all day, okay?"_ _

__"Okay." I whisper, still looking at the stiff form on the bed._ _

__"I'll be outside if you need me." He says by the door. "Open or close?"_ _

__"Open please."_ _

__He nods and hooks the door with a door-stopper before leaving me standing there. I knew the plan. If it is a healthy plan, I can't tell you. I hated the plan but this meant possibly saving a life so how could I turn it down?_ _

__Harry stirs and I freeze. I watch his eyelids flutter and squint before he sees me._ _

__"Lou?" He sounds surprised._ _

__Oh sweet Hell. "Hi."_ _

__"What...Where am I?" He asks, sitting up against the wall and crossing one foot under his knee._ _

__How far back is he? "A rehab center." I take a step forward constantly repeating a chant of, _for the plan._ "This is your room."_ _

__"Oh." He pushes his hair back._ _

__"What do you remember last?" _For the plan.__ _

__"Um.....I don't want to talk about it." He looks down at his lap and I notice that he's wearing jeans._ _

__That had to be uncomfortable. "That's okay. What do you want to talk about?"_ _

__"Can we do something?"_ _

__And just when I thought I was safe, my pulse quickens and a headache arises. _For the plan._ "W-What?"_ _

__"Come here." He opens his arms and I stare at them, at him._ _

__He looks comfortable to cuddle with, warm and so tall that maybe he could completely cover my disgraceful height. That would be nice, I've always wanted to do that. So without hesitation, I walk to his side of the bed and sit down, unsure of what to initiate._ _

__He chuckles into my ear and I flinch. His arms wrap securely around my waist to drag me between his legs, my smaller hands brace themselves on his for safety. My legs are short and his go on for miles, so he easily manages to cross our legs together into a comfortable tangle. I've never done this before and it was quite......nice._ _

__I squirm slightly when I feel my shirt bunch up and irritate my skin. He noses at the dip of my collar and inhales deeply on occasion. I try to ignore the comfort it brought because Harry _isn't_ my boyfriend and shouldn't be able to touch me like this. This is for a _plan_ and definitely cannot bring about a certain ounce of sweetness. It _really_ shouldn't. Harry kissed me against my will, he stands too close and makes me antsy with his dark stare.   
But Harry was also warm and soft and smelt a lot like vanilla and cherry. It wasn't an overly macho scent and I wouldn't mind smelling it forever. Wait. What?_ _

__"Harry?" I find that my position is one that has me locked down._ _

__"Love?"_ _

__I choke on air and blink rapidly to keep the tears away, a reaction to provoked by any means of discomfort. Hmph._ _

__"D-Do you......Why do I l-like me?"_ _

___For the plan._ I've never asked Douglas this, maybe I would tonight or the next time I see him. I had to know what this new stranger saw in a misfit like myself. _ _

__"Are you cold?" Is what comes out of his mouth instead._ _

__"No."_ _

__"Because you're shivering." He raises his shoulders and covers mine with them. It's a mighty protective position that could have me swooning if I weren't already sweating and in a relationship._ _

__"Am not." I argue._ _

__He chuckles and it may not be that disgusting of a sound. "I love you." His lips brush against the skin below my ear lobe when he speaks. It came out so easily with him, he doesn't know me at all yet he can say it._ _

__"Why?"_ _

__I tense up to my hairline and let him interlock our fingers so that our embrace could tighten. It was unbearable and comfy in the same breath. I decide that I like cuddling this way._ _

__"Because....." He nudges my cheek with his nose until I sigh and lean back. "Because you're small."_ _

__"W-What?" I cough._ _

__He laughs and plays with my fingers. "Everything about you is small and cuddly. Like a.....-"_ _

__"Twink?" I offer with a roll of my eyes._ _

__"Like you." He crosses his arms across my middle and my hands have nowhere to be. "You're perfect."_ _

__What? How could he think that? I'm far from being anything near perfect. "I'm not."_ _

__"Are to." He catches my pinky with his. "I love this about you." He lifts my shirt and I shuffle away from him - much to my failure - before he can insult my pudgey tummy. It's disturbing._ _

__"Lou." He pouts._ _

__"No." I cover my exposed skin._ _

__"I want to see you."_ _

__"Absolutely not. I-" I stop myself before I say that I don't know him and ruin the plan._ _

__He tilts his head to the side. "I'll do it with you."_ _

__"Huh?"_ _

__"I will." He reaches for his own T-shirt that's white and bland, before pulling it over his head._ _

__I stop him. "Don't." I didn't want to see what my body could look like but didn't because I'm just too lazy._ _

__"But-"_ _

__"No." I shake my head._ _

__"Are you upset?"_ _

__I shake my head._ _

__He leans forward and I scramble off his lap only to have my foot caught in the comforter and collapse back into the sheets with a huff. He crawls over to me before I get to Plan B, effectively pinning me to the mattress with shock. He wasn't exactly preventing me from moving, in fact if I applied enough of myself maybe I could slide out but my mind wasn't with me._ _

__Harry's need to constantly touch or cuddle me didn't go unnoticed - and maybe it didn't entirely annoy me though it should - but I was too caught up in my own inner-wrestle to respond. I wondered what he'd be like if we didn't meet under these circumstances and grew into something like this on our own._ _

__"Don't be sad." He encouragingly bumps my noses with his and the heat in my cheeks rises._ _

__I laugh despite myself. "I'm not."_ _

__"Then....." He drops down to his elbows but doesn't shift my legs or ask me to move at all. He rests to the left of my legs with his arms on the mattress and entire body concealing me from the ceiling. "Smile."_ _

__"I-"_ _

__I'm cut off when my words are drowned out by Harry's lips getting plastered to mine. I keep my eyes open and can't help but feel regret, for letting it get this far. Screw the plan, I shove his shoulders and try to get him off me but his strength is massively greater than my own._ _

___The bloody plan will be the death of me._ _ _

__He doesn't use his tongue, which was not expected. He has his eyes closed unlike mine and keeps his contact gentle. I sigh into the kiss - if it can be called one - noting that his lips are wonderfully soft. Douglas' are always chapped and dry, or both which is tragic, except that I _love_ him and an exception can be made. _ _

__"Lou?" He keeps his lips on mine._ _

__I look up at him quietly because he was so big and slightly scary with the dark green glint in his eye._ _

__"Kiss me too."_ _

__"I am." _What the Hell?__ _

__"No." He scowls and takes my hands and throws them over his shoulders, but doesn't go lower than that. "Properly."_ _

__And then his mouth is on mine again, but I'm prepared this time and turn my head away. I can't go this far. This is _cheating_ on my boyfriend and I refuse to do that. _ _

__Harry kisses down my throat now and doesn't press further. I bite my lip, the side of my face smashed against the pillow as a single tear rolls down my cheek. It wasn't because of hating this, right now. It was because Harry is so _gentle._  
I couldn't enjoy this. I couldn't. That would make me a cheater, amongst all the other flaws of mine. _ _

__When Harry gets to my shoulder I don't notice until he's pulling the sleeve of my jacket away and revealing the horrid skin. I gasp and cover up, only to have it opened again because is gentle and _stubborn.__ _

__"Why?" He asks with a frown, deep and a little angry. "Why didn't I see this before?"_ _

__I'd forgotten that Harry doesn't know where those marks came from and he doesn't remember seeing them for the first time. I flush and curl in on myself. He takes my arm and stretches it to lengthen the limb and give him a view of the scars._ _

__"I'm so sorry." He mouths against the skin above my armpit. "I'm sorry I did this."_ _

__"You didn't-"_ _

__"I did." He closes his eyes and starts slowly placing kisses to the red and hard skin. "I didn't stop you, and I didn't help."_ _

__"Harry, this isn't your fault."_ _

__He carries on until he reaches my wrist, where the open cuts are. The scrabs were scratched off and the blood had dried in filthy streaks. It was ugly and I hated that Harry wasn't reacting to any of it like Douglas had._ _

__"Do you......Do you like them?" I ask shakily._ _

__"Of course not." He says sharply. "They ruin your skin."_ _

__"Then why aren't you saying anything?"_ _

__"What do I say?" He rubs circles with his thumb on the protruding bone of my wrist._ _

__"They're ugly and make me ugly. They-"_ _

__"You aren't ugly, Lou." He shakes his head and leans up to kiss me firmly. I decide that I like Harry's kisses. "You're beautiful and you're mine."_ _

__I blush slightly because no one's spoken to me that sweetly before. It felt nice._ _

__"I love you." He kisses my cheek and I smile shyly._ _

__I'm going off the deep end and I may die. I can live with that, I decide. Harry needed to hear certain things from me, the doctor said. _For the plan._ "I love you too."_ _

___**[A/N: Phew! I seriously wrote this in a week, which is pathetic, but in my defense I had too much homework and my eye sight kind of sucks now. I. Need. Sleep. Next update.......when this story reaches 1k reads? I love you :) like thissssssssssssssssss much. - S xx]** _ _ _


	9. Chapter 9

_You're my compass, my North star. I'll follow you wherever you go._

***LOUIS' POV***

"Do you like taking photos?" I ask Harry. 

We'd conveniently slipped out into the garden with the promise of fresh air and some snacks if we got hungry. Snacks that I'd have to purchase from a nearby vendor.

Harry has been at it for the past hour, using a camera that a kind staff member had lent him to take photographs of everything that moved. Now, he looks up to smile at me from three feet away. 

"I do." He shrugs. "Especially candids."

"Doesn't that make you a stalker?" I joke, squinting against the radiant sunlight. 

He laughs softly and shakes his head. "Could be. Nobody's complained."

"Don't think anyone would, Curly." I cross my legs and lean back against a tree trunk. 

Our shoes lay untidily across from us on the lawn, so that we're barefoot and roaming.   
His smile falters for a moment before he looks down to study what images he's already captured. What did I say?

"Harry?" 

He comes to sit by me wordlessly and sighs. I turn my head to examine his expression and find him deep in thought. 

"Penny for your thoughts?" I whisper, because something told me not to disturb the calm tranquillity of this space. 

"Why are you here?"

I blink up at him because with both of us seated, he manages to stay taller than I ever will be. "Should I not be?"

"No." He inhales as the wind rushes through blades of lush grass. "They told me I live in a hallucinogenic paradise."

"And do you believe them?"

"Yes."

Okay. I didn't expect that. 

"I know that you don't feel for me, what I do for you." He stares off at the building across the street - a burger joint that turned into a sleepy bar after dark. "And that's okay."

I can't seem to look away from him, and find myself memorising every tiny detail of his face just because. He was beautiful, nobody could deny that. He outshone me any day, but for an estranged reason he saw something in me. That made a little warm feeling erupt in my chest. 

"That's okay because it won't last." He says. 

"What won't last?" I pick at a leaf that is golden from being detached from a plant. 

"The way you currently feel about me."

He was asking for my curiosity. "Really?"

"Yes." He looks at me now, straight-faced and humourless. "I can't be the only one in love."

And the air is knocked out of my lungs. In love? Harry was ready to commit to something I knew nothing of. He was ready to accept me for being simply me, plain old me. It wasn't right. It didn't make sense. How deep did Harry's infatuation run?

"Harry." I let him rest his head on my lap because there was no harm in that. "You are an amazing person, I know that much if I know nothing else. But, I shouldn't be the one you want."

"Why not?" He looks up at me with his fingers laced with one of my hands on his torso. 

"Because we don't know each other, because you think we do. Because I have...." I look away shamefully. "I have a boyfriend. Because-"

"What's he like?"

"My boyfriend?"

Harry nods once. "What's his name?"

"Douglas. He graduated a few years back and won't go to college until I do."

"Do you love him?"

I frown. "Y-Yes."

"A lot?"

"None of your business, Harry."

"I'm sorry." He turns onto his side and closes his eyes. "What's he like?"

I sigh and let my head hit the tree. "He likes....apple pie? Drinks coffee. He let me ride his motorbike once and I crashed. He didn't even yell." I smile fondly. "I do love him."

***NARRATOR'S POV***

Louis didn't know the damage he was causing, the tiny frayed wires in Harry's heart everytime a praise in Douglas' name was mentioned. It gave him tiny internal cuts everytime; but he kept quiet and listened with his eyes closed, pretending that one day Louis will talk about him like this. 

Harry didn't like apple pie and he didn't know how to ride a motorbike, but he could learn if that's what Louis liked. When Louis stops he slip his hand under his cheek and hums a tune he remembers from his childhood. Memories of his life with Louis always came floating back, always making him sick and sad because it wasn't true. He was hurting because he wanted so _badly_ what a stranger named Douglas had. 

"Would you ever....." Harry trails off at the thought of his forward question. 

"Yeah?" He felt happy when Louis started to play with his hair, and he was careful to remain extra still so Louis wouldn't stop. The actions soothed him. 

"What do you think about me?" _Would you ever fall in love with me?_

Louis' thrown by Harry's question. "I think you're really nice."

Harry grins. "Would you like me too?"

"Like you? Sure."

"Like you like Douglas."

Louis coughs into his fist, now he felt uncomfortable and stopped petting Harry's hair even when the older boy tries to regain that trust. 

"Louis?"

"I don't know, Harry." He snaps, already trying to get out from under Harry because this conversation has grown too deep for him. 

Harry frowns and sits up, opposite Louis with his hands holding the smaller boy's.

"Can you stop asking me this? Please, I don't want to have to answer them." Louis takes his own back and stands up, ignoring the cracking of his knuckles and popping of his joints. 

Harry stands too but doesn't step closer. "I don't want to make you angry."

"Then _stop_ with all these questions!" Louis vents. "I _can't_ give you what you think you want and I won't keep _pretending."_

"I don't want you to, I just want-"

"Me. You just want me."

"Yes. I do."

"Well, I can't give you that. Someone else will-"

"I don't need someone else, Louis."

"You don't _need_ me either. What are you here for, Harry?"

"To get better."

"Exactly, and for you to get better-" Louis looks up at him earnestly. "-you can't keep doing this to yourself."

"But-"

"I can only be your friend, Harry." 

Louis hated having to disappoint someone, but he also hated being asked so many personal questions. He escaped every scenario where he was the center of attention because, why should he be? In spite of all this, he can't seem to entirely let go of Harry.   
Harry sees him as desirable, as something he _wants._ And yes, that would be objectifying him but Douglas did that already all the time. He wonders why in both cases, and he thinks about whether it would even work out between Harry and him - Harry's schizophrenia is an inborn trait that neither one can simply remove. 

"Could I have a chance with you?" Harry's palm aches to touch Louis, his fingertips to graze the skin of his chin and cheek. 

Louis sighs loudly. "Okay."

Harry's eyes turn from black to bright green. "I'll take care of you, Lou. When do I get my chance?"

"I don't need that, Harry." He lies. "I don't know."

"Now?"

He shakes his head. That would mean cheating on Douglas, and they both agreed not to let that happen again. 

"You can decide." Harry whispers. "Choose who gets to love you."

"That isn't fair."

"Why isn't it?"

"Because Douglas......he already _is_ my boyfriend, and he won't-"

"He doesn't need to know." Harry kisses his forehead. "I love you."

***

"Hey, babe." Douglas is waiting in Louis' room, ready to pounce and give him a heart attack as soon as he's in past the door. 

"Gosh. Hey." Louis gasps, setting down his keys - because his impulse to keep carrying his car keys but leaving the car at home will never go away - and phone on his desk. 

"I have a proposition." He comes up behind Louis, wrapping his arms around the smaller boy's waist. 

"Speak it." Louis stiffens but forces himself to relax. 

"What's wrong?" Douglas pouts against his neck. 

"Nothing." 

"Tired?"

"Yeah."

"Well that eliminates half of my plan."

Louis laughs and let's Douglas kiss his jaw because _this_ is his love, and Douglas made him happy. Most of the time, not when he was in a mood. 

"Oh? I'm sorry." Louis cries out when Douglas starts tickling him. "Douglas! Douglas, stop!" 

There's a sharp jab of pain in Louis' side that he ignores, before continuing to fend off Douglas. He collides with the table and coughs to clear his windpipe so that he can breathe, using harboured strength to push Douglas away now. 

"What happened?" Douglas asks, and maybe that's worry on his face. Louis isn't sure because he hasn't seen anything remotely close to concern etched on Douglas' face for a while now. 

"Nothing. Just....." Louis knows what happened and so he steps around Douglas, into the bathroom. "Give me a second."

He lifts the hem of his T-shirt to examine the damage, it was nothing major. A healing cut's scab had been scratched off and it swollen red now, a disgusting sight that even Louis didn't want to look at on his tummy. 

"Shit." He looks at his reflection in the mirror and takes a deep breath before tending to the open wound. 

One band aid later, Douglas hadn't bothered to knock on the door and ask Louis if he was okay. Nothing. Louis didn't expect him too, it would just have been nice if he had. He deserved nice things sometimes.

Douglas is sitting on his bed when he steps out, and Louis ignores him to get water from the mini fridge he was allowed to keep in here. It was originally for when Phoebe fell asleep with him after a marathon movie night, and it still served that purpose. 

"Louis?" Douglas plays with the frays of the comforter and Louis wishes he really _wouldn't._

"Hmm?" 

"You good?"

Louis rolls his eyes. "Peachy."

"Babe, come on. No need to kill the mood so early."

"What?"

"I mean, you know it's not my fault. It isn't yours either-"

"Not now, Douglas. I don't want to talk about this with you."

"I know and it isn't one of my favourite things about you either-" 

Louis doesn't listen to the rest of Douglas' rambling because he didn't _need_ that. So Douglas didn't like his cuts? That's why he never brought them up and never awkwardly discussed them. Louis had to go through it all on his own because Douglas didn't like them. _How bloody pathetic,_ Louis thinks. Louis has never felt so alone with another person before. 

"I'm tired, Douglas." He says finally and he isn't sure if he cut off his boyfriend from talking or not. 

"O-Okay." Douglas says, standing up and approaching Louis. "Goodnight, babe."

"Yeah."

He gets a kiss on his forehead from Douglas before he is left alone, and all he thinks about is how Douglas' breath smells like smoke and Harry's smelt of toothpaste. 

He showers before joining his family for dinner and his mother drags him into the kitchen for a hushed talk. "So, how'd it go?"

"What?" He rubs his eyes with the balls of his palm. 

"Oh come on." She hands him a wet plate that needs drying. "Spill."

"Mom." He whines. "I'm tired." 

"And you can do your hardworking mother a favour by helping her out with the dishes. Now tell me what happened with Harry."

"What do you want to know?"

"You're grounded if you keep acting coy, young man."

"Alright!" He laughs. "He relapsed."

"Oh."

"Yeah but he's fine now. Has to take medication and sleep really early. He-"

"What did he say to you?"

"Said he loves me."

"Romantic."

"He's a psychopath, Mother."

"Don't you dare." She splashes him with soapy water and Louis thanks the Gods for his mother. "He's such a nice kid, would never hurt a fly."

"I know but I can't just fall in love with him because you like him more than Douglas."

"You said it, not me. And it's fair because I've known Harry since he was born."

"Really?"

"Yup. You and he used to have play dates before you switched schools and he only came over to babysit Phoebe."

_This is news,_ Louis thinks with a suddenly wide awake mind. "I didn't know that."

"Probably why he chose you to be the subject of his......fantasies."

"I'm pretty sure a mother isn't supposed to talk like that so easily."

"Harry's a nice boy. Give him a chance, yeah?" 

"But I'm-"

"Douglas, yes we all know." She exhales dramatically. "Maybe take a break from that relationship?"

Louis has always listened to his mom and dad, never disobeyed their order and in the end they were a happy family. This, was crossing the line. "You can't ask me to do that."

"Yes, I know. Just a suggestion, okay?"

"You don't even know Douglas."

"I know enough though. He goes to these creepy parties and smokes something I can't seem to find at the shop. Look at what's happened to you since dating him."

"I'm fine." Louis mumbles. 

"I know you are, love." She kisses his cheek. "Trust me though, yeah?"

"Alright."

"And don't think I'm saying to go sneaking around with Harry." She quirks her eyebrow. "He needs to be let go of by the doctor first."

"Mom, I don't like Harry like that!"

"Neither do I!" She says, jogging out of the kitchen after draining the sink and leaving Louis in the darkness. 

He sighs and follows after her, noticing that Phoebe and his father are watching TV from under a blanket on the couch. He loved family cuddles, because they never really got to do it anymore. 

"Lou!" Phoebe calls him when he's about to take on the task of going upstairs begrudgingly. 

"Yeah?"

"Come here!" She sits up and stands against the back of the couch to speak. 

He could never resist her baby dagger eyes so he slumps down beside her, letting her uselessly throw a portion of his own Spongebob blanket onto his lap. 

"What are we watching-"

"Shhh!" His mother shouts from the doorway, phone in hand. 

Everyone turns to look at her in alarm. His father speaks up. "What's up?"

"Oh God." She covers her mouth with her hand. "I-It's Anne. Harry's mom."

Louis stands because sitting made him feel like he was wasting _something._ "What happened?"

"The rehab center, someone started a fire while all the other patients were asleep." She says. "She and Gemma are at the hospital with Harry."

_**[A/N: I felt that this story needed something to spice it up, which was kind of silly because now :( But I REALLY hope you all enjoyed it and will comment :'( because I've been having a terrible week and I just want to know you're there so :) - Sxx]** _   



	10. Chapter 10

_Baby, Heaven's in your eyes._

**"Oh God." She covers her mouth with her hand. "I-It's Anne. Harry's mom."**

**Louis stands because sitting made him feel like he was wasting something. "What happened?"**

**"The rehab center, someone started a fire while all the other patients were asleep." She says. "She and Gemma are at the hospital with Harry."**

***LOUIS' POV***

"Hospital?" I shove my hands into my pockets because the temperature of the room has suddenly plummeted to sub-zero condition. 

"Coming?" My mom's picking up a random set of keys that she'll just have to recognise outside when we're in too much of a hurry to switch. 

"Yes." I say softly then once again, louder. "I'm coming."

We end up in my car, a polished Renault. Mom is on the phone with a hysterical Anne the whole drive there, trying to calm her down while I remain dead silent. The hospital comes into view after three minutes of driving and breaking minimal street laws. 

"Coming in?" She asks, stepping outside. 

"Y-Yeah. I am." 

My mind reels as I follow her through the sliding electronic doors of the hospital, anxious and terrified to find out how bad of a condition the patients are in. Could Harry be in a serious state? How badly burnt is he to be in the hospital? My heart rabbits in my chest and I think it has grown arms, ascending through my throat and threatening to come out with a single cough. 

The panic in my ribcage has begun to physically hurt with each door I pass that isn't our destination. The reason, is unknown and quite alarming to have considering the way Harry and I parted. Would he have relapsed again? Is he conscious? What if Anne's hysteria was because of something much more worse? I swallow to rid myself of the scary thought. Harry is still a friend, and I still _care_ about his well-being. 

"In here." My mom directs, knocking on a partially open door before pushing it open. 

Inside is a customary hospital room, with two chairs beside the bed. One Gemma is seated in, and the other one is empty because Anne is pacing around the room. A doctor is blocking the figure under the covers in the bed but when she moves, I see him. 

Harry's eyes are closed and his chest is rising before gradually falling. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. 

I don't see any immediate damage as yet, and my mother soon takes on the duty of harassing the staff on duty. 

"How is he?" She asks Anne. 

Anne is in tears, biting her thumb nail and never looking at one thing for more than three seconds at a time. "He-He hasn't woken up. They say he wasn't there but I don't know how it happened."

"What? What happened?" 

While they ramble, I smile at Gemma who returns it, before approaching the bed to look at Harry's sleeping form. I see the scar on his face and frown. It was not prominent and in no way lessened Harry's beauty. There is a slight curve of empty space on the bed and I perch myself on it, against my mother's slight scolding. 

"His front is burnt. F-From his chest to his-"

"We don't see any permanent damage besides the scars." The doctor intervened. 

His hands are tucked under the thin sheet and a quilt Anne definitely brought with her. His lips are slightly parted and every so often, his eyelids would twitch. 

"He's on morphine now but he doesn't need it." She continues. "We'll be back to check his bandage in an hour."

When she leaves, my mother sits with Anne by the wall and offers her water. I'd never have thought that Anne would end up this way over something-

"He asked for you." Gemma interrupts my thoughts and I realise that I've found Harry's hand even if it's under the covers. 

"Who?"

"Him." She smiles, nodding towards her brother before sitting back and drawing her knees up. "Expected it though, only ever speaks about you."

I frown. "Sh-Should I leave?"

"No." She smiles in reassurance. "My mother loves that you're here. She just....was never good at showing it."

"She doesn't like me though, does she?"

"She would love you a whole lot more if Harry smiled for something she did once in a while. She can't handle it."

"I'm sorry." I look down at my small does. "I didn't mean for it to go this far and I'll stop if she wants."

"Absolutely not." She laughs. "My mother asked for you to visit Harry. She thinks that once Harry's better, it'll all go back to normal."

I nod and look up. "What happened?"

"Someone didn't want their meds and he happened to be in the kitchen at the time." She explains. "Harry had to get himself involved."

"Did he try to put the fire out?"

"Gotta ask him that, love. He'll be up soon, the doctors say."

"How-How bad are the.....burns?"

"Not as bad as you'd think. They'll heal over time but....they won't entirely go away. Some on his back, legs and stomach. The guy's an idiot."

I look up at her with a puzzled frown, but regret it when all I can see is her saddened expression. Tears are welling up in the corners of her eyes and her lip is quivering. 

"Hey." I sit down next to her, patting her shoulder soothingly. "He'll be okay, alright? I know he will."

"I wish you knew him." She chokes. "Knew him like I do."

"Why? Is he any different?" 

She smiles through her tears and rolls her eyes slightly. "No but he wouldn't have to _ask_ you to fall in love with him."

I'm speechless at her words and choose not to say anything. "I'd heard that he was never very friendly."

"He isn't. He hates socialising because he always says the wrong thing." She smiles wryly. "But he'd really try if he wanted to be your friend."

Of all the people he's heard praise Harry, this one broke his heart. Harry is due to wake up anytime now and he had to make a fair decision before that happened. 

"Excuse me." Gemma gets up and walks past her mother, going in the direction of the ladies' room. 

Their moms are whispering in the corner of the room, my mom has an arm over Anne's shoulders as she tries to console her. I sigh and slouch in my seat, staring at the waxed floor while my mind tosses and juggles different options. _Why the Hell am I in this mess?_

"We'll be outside, Louis." My mom says suddenly. "Call us if anything happens."

"I will." I mutter, leaving them to slip out into the passage. 

I get up and moves to Harry's side, lifting my leg to rest on the corner of the bed as I contemplates running away to Alaska. Many questions filled my head, and maybe all I had to do was ask Harry for me to understand him. My options were:

First, give Harry a chance though I know nothing at all about him. Let him _woo_ me until I understand his infatuation that will eventually lessen. 

Second, ask Harry about the fantasy he had. It could help to comprehend the depth of his emotions. 

Third, abandon all hope of completing this task and ignore Harry for the rest of my life. 

I had college to attend next year, and what would happen then? Douglas and I haven't spoken about it yet but I'm partly sure he isn't big on long-distance relationships. For that reason and more, we've grown apart and I can no longer let him touch me without flinching.   
He always smells like beer and cocaine nowadays, it's disgusting and I hate that he's covered in the odour. He never listened when I pointed it out, and so I gave up. 

I look at the scar marring Harry's visage. It runs from just above his jaw to the corner of his eye, an untidy burn mark that's linear. I wanted to touch it and test it's severity but the injury is still fresh and could hurt him. It was neatly bandaged with thin bandage strips, and had stopped bleeding by the looks of it. 

The ECG monitor picked up its pace and made more frequent beeps that got louder. I panicked and decided it best to get off the bed. 

In the midst of my stride to the door, Harry wakes up. "Louis?"

I freeze and turn around slowly. 

"Is that you?"

"Yeah." I answer simply. 

He tries to sit up, grimacing at the pain and hissing when it got too much. 

"Don't." I warn. "Don't do that."

I approach the bed again and stand awkwardly beside it. There was a remote to control Harry's backrest but I wouldn't risk pressing random buttons in a hospital. 

Harry reaches to his face, pressing on the slightly soiled medical tissue so that further red splatters are formed. 

I react by immediately ceasing his hand, removing it from that area of wounded flesh. "Don't touch it."

He looks at me from across the little distance between us. My breathing slows and I glance elsewhere. "I'll go tell them you're awake."

"Lou?" He holds onto my wrist. 

"H-Harry?"

If I could, I'd swear that Harry's green gaze darted to my lips before he met my stare again. And option three of ignoring Harry goes out the window. 

"How are you feeling?" And maybe it was a gesture of comfort to reach out and brush Harry's hair out of his eyes and away from the still healing burn. 

"Awful." He chuckles then winces. 

"What happened?" 

"I think- I think I heard shouting and thought I could help. Everything was burning when I got there."

I retract my hand. "Is that what happened? Here, I mean." To indicate what I meant, I brush my thumb over the edge of his bandage again. 

His eyelids drop and his lips part. "Please don't do that."

I immediately pull back. "Do what?"

"Touch me like that."

"Does it hurt?"

"My heart, yes." His eyes search mine. "Don't rub it in that I can't have you as I want to."

"I promised you a chance when I'm ready, Harry." I sigh. 

"And I won't allow you to break that promise; but for now, do not tempt me."

Leaning closer is a terribly selfish decision, but I act on it anyway. He doesn't pull back. "Tempt you to do what?"

He lifts his head so our foreheads are pressed together and our noses bump. He takes a second to lift his head inch my inch, slowly and very carefully. I could have been shot immobile and chose not to move. But it's the clearing of a female's throat that has me - without letting out a small peep - jumping back and Harry scowling. 

"Harry." His mom exhales with relief. "You're awake."

"Hi mom." He greets as she approaches his bed. 

I step back to be in line with my own parent who is too smug for it to be good for me. "What?"

"What 'what'?" She gives me a side wards smirk that's unnerving. 

"Don't smile like that." I whisper back quickly, crossing my arms. "It's creepy."

"You're creepy." She childishly replies. "I knew you'd like him."

"Let's not forget why we're in a hospital, Mom."

"Oh relax." She bumps her shoulder with mine. "You know I'm just kidding about him."

I frown. "Huh?"

"He's a wonderful kid but he can't hold a relationship. He's on meds for bordering on being bipolar, and look where he is now. You can't possibly think anything could work out with him."

 _Fucking woah._ Hold on a second, I thought my mother approved of Harry all this time and now she's throwing insults at him. What happened in the corridor that made her change her perspective?   
And where did bipolarity come from? I didn't know he was on medication for that and why would my mom bring it up now? Bloody Hell. 

Harry and his mom are chatting by his bed, he trying to comfort her while her shoulders shake from sobs. Gemma enters, looking more alive than when she'd excuse herself. 

"We should go." My mom says finally. "Getting late."

"Oh okay." I shove my hands into my hoodie and duck my head to start walking out. 

"Where are they going?" I hear Gemma ask but my mom's impatiently holding the door open. 

"Lou?" That's Harry and I have to turn around, except my mother's got a grip on my elbow already. 

I get to wave goodbye before I'm instructed to get an elevator and wait for her. She steps in with me after speaking to the nurse, shoulders stiff and knuckles cracking one-by-one. 

"I don't want you seeing Harry again." She says. 

_**[A/N: Hiii :) Haha don't kill me o.o To all those who don't comment, I see you and I love you, okay? Okay. Now, we have a problem. My exams start on Monday and I'm going to be surviving on Red Bull with no sleep for three days straight. Let's hope I survive. Opinions? Thoughts? Story ideas? Answer to 9 x 8 maybe? - S xx]** _


	11. Chapter 11

**_[A/N: I don't know if I said this, or if I've said it enough but your support has been the greatest constituent of my happiness for this past few months. It's been a terrible and hectic period, but I've always updated this and read every one of your comments. I love every vote and every bit of feedback. I love you, and don't you forget it ♡ - S ✗]_ **

_Don't be gone to long, because you won't be there to love me._

**"I don't want you seeing Harry again." She says.**

***LOUIS' POV***

I look to her in bewilderment, my jaw open and ready to question her motive when she raises her finger. 

"I don't say the things I do for no reason, Louis." She chastises. "Anne's just told me everything and-"

"What is _everything_ , Mom?" 

"His medication, for one. Did you know they've had him see over sixteen doctors this past year. We don't even have that many of 'em here in Middleston. Besides schizophrenia, he's prone to mood swings and shuts down for days at a time."

"She told you all this?"

"Yeah." She combs her wavy hair back onto her slumped shoulders. "And I guess you were right, Lou."

I'm too busy chewing on my lip to fully comprehend her. "What?"

"About him. He's not the best guy and it seems I may have to start getting to know Douglas better."

I roll my eyes and try to hide it. As if Douglas would really care enough to spend time with her after these years of her ignoring him. 

"But....Harry doesn't seem that bad-" I start. 

"Did you even listen to me five seconds ago? You've known him, what? Two days. You can't decide that. Do you know how long he's had this obsession with you?"

"No."

"Since that day you came to get that report from me. He was there also for something and I asked him to give it to you outside. Remember that?"

"Um...." I really couldn't. 

Had it been Harry who gave that to me and I failed to register that it was him? It was a hectic day so it was excusable. I'd been applying to colleges that day with Douglas hounding me to take a ride with him somewhere. That was our first strike-out as a couple and ended up not talking for three days. 

"Yeah." I finally answer. 

"Anne says he came home asking about you. That was almost a year ago, Louis."

My jaw drops and there's a powerful sting in the nerves of my teeth from the cold gust of air that hits us when the elevator doors part. A year? A whole year of being the way he is. He never approached me after that incident though. 

"I never saw him though."

"Anne said he started going to town more frequently and never explained why. He'd come back drunk sometimes even."

And that gut-dropping feeling has only expanded. Harry's twenty-three if I remember correctly, which puts him well above the legal drinking age while I was still eighteen. 

"But-"

"No buts, Louis." She cuts me off. "I allow you free reign of everything in life and today I'm asking you not to do something. Will you listen?"

I sigh and look at the hospital exit, then the elevator. It felt like a choice. If I walked out with my mom, Option Three of avoiding Harry comes back into play. If I disobey her and go back up then I'm putting myself in the safety of Harry's arms forever. 

"Fine." I surrender and follow her out to the awaiting car. 

I knew the guy for two days. I cannot simply have grown attached to him in such a short span of time. Besides, our means of being acquainted was less than orthodox and I don't want that looming over us in the future. Life was fine before Harry, and it will perfectly fine now after Harry. 

Phoebe is asleep on the couch when we get home, my father as well with the TV heating up in front of them. Mom switches it off and asks me to take Phoebe while she wakes Dad up. 

"Alright." I gently lift her off my father's chest and try not to wake her on the staircase. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Lou." 

I take Phoebe into her room, pulling back the covers before putting her between them. I concentrate on removing her socks and tucking her in, switching off her bedside lamp and kissing her forehead. 

After hearing my parents' bedroom door close, I take a shower with the water a little on the hot side. I haven't had this much drama in my life ever, and I don't like it. It's been a much too long day that I hope to avoid thinking about from this moment forth.   
The steam eventually burns me and causes a throbbing headache so I turn off the shower head. 

Slacks and no T-shirt is what I go with, my skin is still red from the shower and felt sensitive. When my mind is rushing with thoughts of memory and recap, I escape to downstairs where I huddle up with a blanket and Fawlty Towers. Mr. Fluffles is abandoned on the adjacent couch and I pull him to me so neither one of us is alone. 

***HARRY'S POV***

_Louis laughs and I see him blush._

_"I love your giggle." I comment before poking the slight pudge of his tummy. "And your tummy."_

_"Stop that." He warns me childishly by gripping my wrists. "Obsessed much, Harold?"_

_We were on our bed, tangled up in each other after we'd made love. Louis was on my lap, stop my crossed legs with his ankles crossed behind my back. He'd asked me to stay in, and I could never say no to him. It was my favourite place to be._

_I chuckle softly. "You're adorable and I never thought I'd use that word in my life."_

_"Why not?"_

_He shrugs. "Never thought I'd meet you."_

_Suddenly, he's being pulled away and it's not a force I recognise. It's not a quick flash either before he disappears. I feel every centimetre that he moves away, against me holding him back. It feels like the warmth is drained out of the world. My world._   
_He looks to me, frightened and helpless. I reach out for him across the small distance between us, scrambling out from under the sheets to chase him. But the distance multiplies and he's gone before I can save him._

_Would everyone please stop taking him away from me?_

***NARRATOR'S POV***

"Nurse! Please, help my brother." Gemma frantically asks the nearest medical assistant. 

The woman nods and follows her to Harry's room. "What happened?"

"I don't know. He just started shaking and then the screen went crazy- oh God."

Harry's head is thrown back at a painful angle, two prominent veins bulging through the skin. His back is arched at a cruel angle as well and his fists are clenched tightly. Gemma is grateful that the rehab center had him cut his nails or he'd be bleeding by now.   
She had an arm around her mother's shoulder while the nurse worked to put Harry under again. 

The bed rattled and every monitor beeped quickly, loud enough to summon two other nurses with a doctor. They managed to calm him down, and pump a reasonable dose of morphine to him. 

"What was that?" Anne asked, the tissue in her hand has long since turned to dust flecks. 

"Violent shock. A fit." The doctor explains. "Brought on by a nightmare."

"A nightmare did that?" Gemma goes on while Anne hurries over to her son's side.   
She's brushing his hair out of his eyes, wiping away the sweat and watching a few drops run down his chest. 

"It did." He answers. "We gave him a sedative and extra morphine for the burns. We had to remove the covers because the added heat won't do any good for his burns."

"Oh okay. Thank you, doctor."

"My pleasure and when he wakes up, ask him what it was about."

"What?"

"The nightmare."

"I will."

Gemma folded Harry's covers neatly so they were away from his open wounds that recently had the bandages changed for. The skin around it was slowly becoming red and itchy, because Harry twitched so often. When he shivered, she kissed his forehead and told him he'd be okay. 

She had Louis' number from previous meetings when their moms visited one another. Noting the time, she dials him. 

"Hello?" Louis sounds tired but he'd answered too quickly for him to have been asleep. 

"Hey. It's me."

"Oh, Gemma. Something wrong?"

"Harry uh.....had a fit because of a nightmare. They had to sedate him."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"What did he say?"

"Nothing. He's asleep because they sedated him. I was so scared, you should have seen him. Louis, I'm terrified one day I'll come here and he won't be." She let's the tears roll down as she sniffs, wiping her eyes and nose on her sweater sleeve. 

"Hey, hey now." He whispers. "Nothing like that will ever happen, okay? He'll be fine and he'll always be your brother. It was just a bad dream."

"But it wasn't. It looked like he was.....I don't know but I don't want to see him like that ever again."

"And you won't. He's happy you're there for him, yeah? It's just a bad time but we always pull through those, don't we?"

"We do." Louis and Gemma were always like siblings anyway. 

"Breathe, Gems." He soothes. "Do you want me there?"

"Please. Will you stay until-until he wakes up? Then ask him what the nightmare was about because I don't think I can handle it."

"I-I can't stay, Gem."

"Why not? Please, Louis."

"It's......I just can't, okay? I don't want to see him." As much as it was a lie, Louis had to say it. "Like that."

"What?" She sounds horrified.

"He needs to recover, Gem. I can't be there for that if he's going to be getting over me."

"I can't believe you."

"No, Gemma-"

"He needs you as a friend but you're selfishly deciding to stay away because you can't handle it? You're a coward."

"Gemma-"

"I'm his _sister_ and I'm here when he doesn't even want me here. When all he wants and asks for, is you. Why would you do this to him?"

"Gemma, he's imagining everything!" He exasperates. "It's all in his head and what use am I if I show up?"

"It doesn't bloody matter! You should be here for him just because he wants you here. I know he hasn't told you anything, so make that your excuse. Please Louis, be here when he wakes up."

He sighs and she hangs up. Louis throws his head back and rolls off the couch. He waits for the rush of blood to his brain to level out before placing Mr. Fluffles back on the couch. He goes to the kitchen and makes a cup of coffee because despite his exhaustion, this night was far from over. 

He was faced with a decision, one that he apparently had to make tonight. He groans and let's his head hit the breakfast counter. He doesn't owe Harry anything, let alone his presence during his recovery against his mother's wishes. That was a puzzle on its own because his mother was pretty ignorant to encourage Louis at first and not now. 

Twenty minutes later he finds himself standing outside Harry's room in Middleston County General Hospital. It was so pathetic that he had to sneak out of his own house, and not put shoes on until he was outside. He was going to be in immensely deep shit when and if his mother found out. 

Gemma sees him first and comes to speak with him at the door. Her clothes haven't changed since he'd seen her last and her eyes are red-rimmed. "He's awake."

"Really?" Louis feels like an idiot. 

"Yeah." She breathes through her nose and puts her hands in her jeans back pockets. 

"How long?"

"About two minutes now. He's a little loopy." She forces a smile. "Thank you, Louis. For coming."

"My pleasure." He gives her a hug that she returns. "You're both my friends."

She nods and withdraws from the doorway, letting him step inside. "Mom's gone home for a few hours. I'll be outside."

Louis looks to her with an urgent expression that she dismisses and steps outside after seeing. Louis slowly turns to Harry lying in the hospital bed, stripped of a covering and slightly shivering. 

"Harry." He breathes, coming to the side of Harry's bed. 

"Lou." He looks up, blinking against the harsh hospital lighting. "Why....-"

"Snuck off to see you after Gemma called." Louis thinks that sounded better in his head, especially since he said it to a _friend._

Harry smiles weakly and doesn't move any further. Louis yawns and covers his mouth with his hand. He sits on Harry's bed with his one leg folded under the other.   
He examines Harry's burns that are now out in the open. The hospital gown offers no coverage for Harry's modesty and Louis' cheeks flame up slightly. 

"Painful?" Louis looks at him. 

Harry silently shifts over in his bed, wincing a little but not letting out a pained sound. He offers Louis half of his pillow. 

"Yeah." Harry croaks and Louis' heart cracks. 

"Scale of one to-"

"Ninety, Lou."

Louis rests his head on Harry's pillow and stares up at the ceiling. He hadn't noticed the TV attached to it. "Anything I can do?"

"Food."

"You're hungry?"

"Hospital food's gross."

Louis laughs and turns his head to look at the good half of Harry's profile. Both sides were good to him, because he was a professional in insecurities and he wasn't about to go around highlighting others'. 

"Maybe next time." Louis says in wonder. 

Harry turns too and now his scar is in full view. "Why'd you have to sneak off?"

"Mom doesn't want me coming here." 

"Why?"

Louis brushes a lock of Harry's hair - that he notes upon contact, is damp from sweat - away from tickling his bandage. "Don't know. Thinks....Thinks we're no good as friends."

"We aren't."

Louis frowns and looks away. 

"We're more."

Louis goes stiff and looks at Harry from the corner of his eye. "You're high."

Harry let's his head slide onto Louis' shoulder. "Meds don't affect me anymore."

Louis sighs and relaxes because he's sure a tense shoulder must be uncomfortable for poor Harry. "I'm sorry."

"I love you."

"I know." Louis folds his hands together on his tummy. _One day I'll say it to you too and mean it._

"Harry?" 

"Hmm."

"Can you tell me.....about, you know. Us."

Harry's nose brushed against Louis' collar and it was freezing cold. "Our story?"

"Y-Yeah."

"It's really long." _But it's my favourite story._

"Get some rest and tell me later. Promise?"

"Promise. Lou?"

"Will you stay?"

"Can't, Harry. I'm sorry."

"Mm okay. Let me fall asleep first, please?"

"Alright. Goodnight."

"'Night, love."

**_[A/N: I have a question for you guys. Could you please rate this story out of 10? Vote if you think it's above 5 and you don't want to comment. Please, I will check :) - S x]_ **


	12. Chapter 12

_Who's going to love me when you're gone?_

***NARRATOR'S POV***

Louis tiptoed into his home at six o'clock when everyone was due to wake up. In his opinion, it was nobody's business that he fell asleep at the hospital and was woken by Gemma before their mother got back. Harry was still lost to the world when Louis slipped out the door. 

Now, his mother was standing in the kitchen armed with a pancake spatula. "Late night?"

Louis freezes and mentally curses. _Shit._

"Excuse me?"

Maybe it wasn't in his head. He sheepishly enters the kitchen to see her flipping pancakes. "Hey, mom."

"Good morning." She allows him to kiss her cheek and steal a pancake from the tissue-laden saucer. "Spent the night at Douglas'?"

He contemplates telling the truth and decides it's too early for a family rift. "Yeah."

"I didn't hear you leave."

"Hmm? Oh. He called when you were asleep."

"Oh okay. You got mail." She smiles at him, pointing to the edge of the counter where several unopened envelopes lay. 

"What?" And for a moment, Louis' mind loses track of everything as he snatches up the notice letters. 

He uses his finger to tear open one, receiving and ignoring an evil paper cut in the process. 

"What is it?" His mom stretches over the counter to get a peek. 

Louis stares at the paper, reading a few words at the time. A long notification is positioned under the logo of King's University in London, but he's read all he needed to. 

"I got in." The paper starts to shake, his hand trembling. "Oh my God. I got in!"

"Oh I'm so proud of you, angel." His mother hugs him from the side, happy tears on her cheeks. "So proud."

Louis beams up at her when he hugs her back. His dad walks into the kitchen, an eyebrow quirked at the scene before him and Phoebe on his tail. 

"What did I miss?" Mr. Tomlinson asks. 

"I got into King's!" Louis cheers and his dad grins too, winking subtly at his son's achievement. 

"Celebratory drink after work today?"

"Sure." Louis can't stop smiling. He wants to tell everybody. 

"I don't have to work today." His mom offers. 

"We can all go in the afternoon." Louis replies, already shifting eagerly in his seat. "I have to tell him."

 _Harry._ "Douglas."

"But you just got back. Let us spend some time with you then you can go."

"Okay." He settles back down and helps a zombie-like Phoebe onto a stool next to him. "Morning, little one."

"Shh." She bats his hand away from her hair. "Congratulations, Lou."

"Thanks, bub." 

They nudge each other's elbows until their breakfasts are ready and Louis is all but high on caffeine. 

"Have a good day." He tells his parents when they're about to leave with Phoebe. 

"Bye, Lou!" Phoebe waves and he waves back at his baby sister. 

***

Harry woke up and stayed up. His eyes burned and his fingers twitched, the tips and his nose were red but cold. He had been this way for three solid hours.   
The doctor had changed his bandages and he was now allowed to move around the hospital. Since the rehab center would take a while to re-establish, a special wing of the hospital has been dedicated to them. 

He didn't need an IV like a few others, but hospital gowns were the only permitted items of clothing. Gemma and Anne weren't allowed to stay any longer because after the new arrangement had been made, they needed fresh permission to be allowed in. They weren't on Harry's visitor's list yet. Only Louis was. 

Harry didn't expect for said boy to stroll into his room at lunchtime bearing food under his jacket. He wanted to spend time with Louis when he wasn't exhausted, and his wounds were healing nicely now. 

"Hi Lou." Harry sits on his bed. 

"Hey." Louis crosses his legs under him at the foot of Harry's bed. Harry's feet needed to be shoved to the side to allow this and he didn't mind. 

"How are you?"

"Really, Harold?" Louis was beyond giddy with excitement, he simply could not be held liable for anything that left his mouth. 

"What?" Harry smirks, studying Louis' smile. 

"You're really asking me that? How old are you?" Louis is careful to hide the food from any passing officials while Harry laughs. 

"It's a polite question."

"I deem it silly."

Harry's shoulders shake with laughter and he rests his back against the wall. He pulls forward immediately because that still hurt even though he forgot momentarily. 

"You aren't drunk, are you?" Harry accuses, leaning forward with a wince to steal a taco. 

"Do you take me for a barbarian? Of course not. Are you?" Louis munches away on his food. 

"Certainly. There's a mini bar under my bed." 

Louis rolls his eyes and throws a balled up piece of wrapping paper at him. "That's just cruel."

"So why are you like this?" 

"If you must know, I got a letter back from the college I applied to."

Harry's eyes widen. "And?"

"I'm accepted!" Louis drops his head after the outburst. He didn't want to get kicked out. 

Harry is cackling uncontrollably at Louis' behaviour. 

"Oh shut it, will you?!" Louis finishes his meal and throws the dirt into a nearby bin. 

"You're cute."

Louis gasps. "I'm spoken for."

Harry's expression sobers. "Yeah. Him. Does he....know?"

Louis notices this change and crawls closer to Harry, whose one leg is swinging off the bed and allowing him to settle next to it. "Wasn't answering my calls."

Harry frowns. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Happens sometimes."

"What does?" Harry's forgotten about the taco in his hand. 

"Fights. He's very.....-"

"Suffocating?"

"Yeah. That. We fight and he gets stubborn for a few days."

"What did you fight about?"

"Doesn't matter." Louis shakes his head. "I wanted to ask you something."

"Ask away."

"Remember what I asked you last night?"

"Yeah." He did, it was about them. About Harry's conjured-up storyline that he would never let go of. 

"C-Could you tell me?"

"You really want to know?" Harry looks away at the door then back to Louis. "As in, _you_ and not someone else who told you to ask me."

"I'm asking." Louis eyes the taco Harry's abandoned. "But eat that first. I paid for it."

Harry nods and tries to finish eating as fast as he can.   
It doesn't take more than forty seconds before he makes the mistake of reaching out to Louis - who was distracted by his phone - and pulling him closer. The first thing wrong, was that his burns made him hiss and grit his teeth when Louis' skin pressed against them. Second, Louis tensed and gasped when he registered what Harry was doing. 

Harry couldn't help it because, for a moment it felt _good_ again. He apologised with his eyes and Louis gave him a small, reassuring smile. 

"It's fine." Louis says softly. "'S cold anyway."

Harry bites the inside of his cheek and wrapped his leg around Louis' back on the mattress. His limbs were cold and Louis didn't object to Harry's burn bandages on his thigh being so close to him. It looked awkward but it felt like home. 

"Warm enough?" Louis raises an eyebrow. 

Harry hums and thinks about where to start. 

Louis decides to help out. "How did we start?"

All it does is make Harry's heart beat faster, like a love-sick teenager. Harry really thinks about it before taking a deep breath. Louis had brought his short legs up to his chest, chin perched on his knees with his Pacman socks on display as he paid attention. 

"You came to my home." Harry said, staring into Louis' eyes and recognising a little bit of familiar green in them. "At night with a few of your friends. I....-"

"What?" Louis seemed already drawn in. 

"I knew I wanted to be someone special to you from that moment. You were small-" Harry doesn't miss Louis' frown. "-and I _really_ wanted to protect you."

And so Harry tells Louis. He starts at the moment they first locked gazes, and doesn't miss out a single detail, emotion, smile or frown. He tells it like it's a brand new legend and to him, it is. Louis is enraptured by the intricacy of this fantasy, forgetting completely about the six missed calls on his iPhone screen.   
Harry narrates and Louis listens. Louis hears about moments he wishes he really experienced, like when they had spent three nights on the living room floor with a mattress. Their intimacy was something that made Louis blush, because he'd never gotten to be a part of that. 

Louis may have started playing with Harry's much larger hand at the point when Harry's mother had terrorised them with flickering lights while they were on the couch. Harry held him through it and now Louis held Harry's hand, resisting the urge to look over his shoulder. 

"You're cold." Harry observes, ringing their fingers together. 

"Thanks." Louis just didn't know what else to say and his voice came out high-pitched from being quiet for so long. 

Harry's eyes dart from his freezing nose to his eyes and to his lips. Cautiously reaching forward, he parted Louis' numbed legs and flattened them to the bed. He wanted to see when Louis would stop him.   
Fortunately, he didn't even when Harry cupped his cheek with his abnormally large hand. He leaned forward and pressed their lips together briefly. It felt like home again. 

Louis gasps and opens his eyes from their trance. "No."

"Yes." Harry holds onto Louis' wrist, not tightening his grip but showing his urgency.   
No one would love Louis can Harry can and that's what he's trying to convey. He guides Louis' free hand up to his neck and drops it there. 

"Yes?" Louis is whispering, eyes closed again and lips parted. 

Harry's face is the distance of the width of a page away from Louis' inhaling Louis' scent shakily. He nods and their foreheads press together. "Yes."

"Okay." And he sounded so vulnerable then that Harry couldn't stop himself from kissing Louis. 

He held onto Louis with both hands, cupping both sides of his face and holding him extremely close because if the smaller boy strayed too far, he'd never get him back. Louis fists the front of Harry's hospital gown, with two tiny hands and let Harry lick into his mouth a little. 

"Tell me more." Louis breathes in pants. 

Harry brushes his lips against Louis jaw then returns to his mouth. "We ran away together."

Louis' eyes flutter when Harry gives his attention to Louis' neck, hooking a finger on the collar of his shirt and pulling it aside. 

"We can do it again." Harry mouths against Louis' keening collarbones. "Run away to somewhere they can't find us."

"You're hurt." Louis noses at Harry's temple until he comes back up to kiss him. 

"Anything." Harry kisses the corner of Louis' mouth. "I'd do anything for you."

"What else?" 

Louis felt all his insecurities surface. Like every word Harry said was a figurative band-aid that fixed one of his problems. He needed to let himself hear this. 

"We...." Harry's bottom lip quivered and Louis kissed it, leading to another breathless kiss. 

"We what?" Louis could have been pleading. 

"We made love." Harry kisses his chin. "All the time."

Louis whimpers because he _wanted_ that with someone he could see forever with. 

"I took care of you, Lou." Harry nips at Louis' neck and the smaller male bares his throat. Harry made him ready to bare his soul. 

"Y-You did?" Louis was tearing and Harry only saw it when he opened his eyes. 

Harry nods, thumbing the stray tears away and kissing the damp patches of soft skin. 

"I took care of you. Kept you safe." Harry kissed Louis' forehead and both his temples. "I never let you cry and I _loved_ you. God, Lou. I loved you so much."

Louis didn't want to cry. He never thought such a happy day would turn into this, it felt like a departure and a reunion in one. It felt like Louis was the one who was sick and forgot all the love Harry had given him. He felt that way and didn't know why. 

"My love was - is - unconditional, unrequited and only yours to have. _I'm_ yours to have. Do you want my love, Lou?"

Louis was well-read. He'd been through all the romantic novels that a person could read in a lifetime. From Jane Eyre down to the books with even a hint of romance. He wasted his early years in dreams and lost many years to his elaborate daydreams.   
Nobody got a person like Harry. But he did, there was something amazing he'd done that afforded him this reward. It wasn't like he didn't deserve this, he remained pure for all his life in the hopes of finding that perfect someone. 

Then Douglas came along and Louis saw an endless adventure with the new and older man. Excitement grew and eventually Louis gave everything to him.   
It went to the dogs when Douglas started drinking and showed his true colours. Louis could never let go because despite being a man, he was _terrified._ He had no one to protect him. 

"Yes." Louis exhales against Harry's mouth and the older boy takes it in because it was _Louis._

This seemed to fuel Louis because he pressed himself closer to Harry and nodded. "Yes. Yes _please._ "

Harry tilts his chin up to kiss Louis once, twice and four times more. Louis blushes a deep red and smiles shyly. In every story, they had to go through difficulties and tragedy. This was their hardship and this was Louis' love story. 

"You and I." Harry kisses Louis' Adam's Apple. "You and I forever."

Then it came crashing down for them. 

Louis' mom banged on the door with her fist. Louis jumped but Harry held on. 

"Lou?" Harry murmurs. 

Louis doesn't get a word in before his mother's dragging him away by his elbow then his ear. 

Things moved at a snail's pace and there was no sound for the two of them. Louis blocked out everything and only saw Harry, the foresty orbs was the only colour Louis knew. He knew this was dangerous because nobody fell like him, this hard and this fast. He got his heart broken this way. 

Louis was being dragged into an elevator and Harry's image kept getting smaller.   
Louis can't blame Harry for not fighting at that moment, because he _did._

Harry held Louis' hand tightly until it got numb and eventually stopped feeling anything. Louis pleaded with his eyes and Harry scrambled off the bed to get to him. 

_**[A/N: My favourite chapter :'( because I lost weight with the tears I shed writing it :'( *sniffles* Opinions?]** _


	13. Chapter 13

_Monsters are real. Ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes they win. - Stephen King_

***LOUIS' POV***

"Mom!" I don't start acting childishly until we're inside the elevator and Harry's broken expression is etched into my mind. "Mom, let go!"

I rub the lobe of my ear to restore blood flow, feeling the cold chill hit the skin in a wash. Before I can turn back and step out of the elevator block, the doors close soundly. 

"I can't believe you lied to me." She seethes. 

"I didn't-"

"Don't bloody dare, Louis."

"Mom-"

"You're grounded. No leaving the house, no cellphone, no computer, no TV-"

"I'm not a child anymore!"

"You're my son and you will obey me for as long as you live under my roof. You dare step out of line again, and so help me I'll make you regret it."

"Mom, listen to me. _Please._ "

"What could you possibly say?" She prepares to step out when we reach the ground floor. 

I slam my hand against the Stop button, eliciting a groan of pain afterwards. She looks at me in grand anger before placing her hands on her hips. 

"I-I..." Now that I have the opportunity, I have no words. "I wanted this."

" _'This'_ being?"

"Him. I want to know Harry and not have you shun me for being with him."

"He's a sick boy, Louis."

"So am I!" I exclaim and fold in on myself immediately afterwards. 

"What are you on about? You aren't sick." 

"I-I.....I don't always.....I'm not always happy."

"Nobody's always happy, Louis. Stop being dramatic."

"No! I mean I hurt myself so the pain isn't so bad. It's stupid, I know. I'm stupid, I just.....it helps? The point is, Harry makes me forget that I used to hurt myself. He makes me want to _heal._ "

She sighs and looks at me tiredly. "A deranged young man will fix you?"

Well, I didn't need to be _fixed._ "Y-Yes."

"Louis, do you hear yourself?"

"I do and I'm not crazy."

"What happens when he doesn't? When he just up and leaves you here?"

Where will he go? "He-He won't."

"Look at him, Louis. He's in _hospital._ His family will drag him across the country for some sort of treatment soon."

"But-"

"What about Douglas?"

"I thought you h-hated Douglas."

"And I thought you loved him."

I didn't love him for a few months now. "We fight all-all the time and he gets really angry." 

I'm sobbing at the last bit and she looks conflicted about how to react, however still grabs me in an uncomfortable hug. 

"I don't want to be with him anymore." I say through tears. 

"Lou, stop crying. Don't do this to yourself." She pats my back and I dry my cheeks with the palms of my hands. 

I cried far too many times today. I wish life was simpler, painless and also doubt-free. I wish the decisions were easy to make and no one got the opportunity to be ashamed of you for them. 

That's what the cutting felt like. It took away those horrible feelings and released a due amount of negative force. It made me feel lighter for short amounts of time while my wrists were bloody and I sat on the toilet seat. It was temporary though, and that did eventually wear off. 

"You don't have to be with him anymore, okay?" She reassures me. "I've been waiting for you to realise that."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too, sweetheart. I overreacted when I heard about Harry from Anne."

"But he isn't Douglas, mom."

"I know and- Oh god, Lou. Did _he_ hurt you? Douglas?"

I look down at my shoes, tracing the linear design of my socks because I hadn't had time to grab my shoes. "Well, not on purpose-"

That seems to re-program something in her because she's suddenly hugging me tightly, hands wrapping all around my shoulders as she kisses my forehead. 

"I didn't know." She whispers. 

She never notices, but nor is she a mom I'd love to be rid of so I smile and hug her back half-heartedly. 

"Alright. I don't want to have you getting yourself hurt by sneaking off, so I'm allowing this." She releases me and hits the open button. "I'm sorry."

"I know why you didn't want this. You didn't understand."

"You're right, and I still don't but this isn't my life, is it?"

"You're the best." 

She laughs and kisses my cheek. Ugh. "I know. We better go back up and apologise, yes?"

"Yeah." I nod with a blush. 

The doors slide open to reveal a new round of people wanting to use the elevator that had mysteriously taken a halt in the midst of its journey. What else we see, saves us a trip back up. 

Harry is stood at the nurses' station, with a set-frown and that exposing hospital gown that let's me - along with everyone else standing around - have a glance at his Jockey boxers. I frown and shake my head. 

His back is to me, which makes for a clever mission. When I'm about to take off, my mom grabs my arm. 

"Go slow this time, okay?" She says firmly. "I don't want you getting hurt or hurting him."

I nod slowly with a cautious smile. "I promise."

After being let go, I seem to have the original joy and light-heartedness back because my smile from this morning has returned. Today has been a very trying day on my emotions. 

I manage to remain undetected for my journey across the floor, and notice Harry in a heated argument with someone I can't see. He is using wild hand gestures that will soon be shut down.   
I wrap my arms around his middle - very carefully because of his burns - and he stiffens instantly. There's a soft feminine giggle that comes from the person he was conversing with. 

***NARRATOR'S POV***

Gemma laughs at Louis because the guy was so _small_ compared to her massive brother, especially when he's wrapped around Harry's middle like that. 

Harry tenses then relaxes at Gemma's response - she wouldn't laugh if the person around him was a threat. Those tiny hands were beautifully bringing the content that had passed Harry's conscious post Louis' mom's arrival. Harry smiles widely and turns around, ignoring the frown of disapproval from Gemma for his carelessness concerning his wounds. 

"Hi, love." Harry gazes down lovingly at his better half - he felt he didn't need years to be able to say that. 

"Hi." Louis' cheeks turn pink when Harry leans down. 

He notices Louis' mom still standing by the hospital entrance and growls protectively, draping himself over the smaller male who is both flattered and flustered under the weight. 

"She's okay." Louis reassures him. "We have her blessing."

Louis giggles and Harry stares at him because Louis was nothing short of _perfect_ for him. Now he had him, and no one could take him away. Louis had to break up with Douglas and Harry didn't doubt that he would. 

Louis felt like he was throwing himself to the wolves on this one, an unpredictable circumstance has arisen from a biased decision. He's thrown himself into nothing but adventure before and he came out on top - most of the time. He didn't feel strong enough to handle heart break and so he wouldn't allow himself to get hurt when leaving Douglas, or if-

"Lou?" Harry draws Louis out from the depths of his mind by nosing at his cheek and earning gagging noises from Gemma. 

Louis tries to pull away because he got the vibe this made her uncomfortable but Harry holds on because no one asked Gemma not to turn around if it did. He plants his mouth on Louis' in a sweet union before Louis smiles and he ends up kissing Louis' perfect teeth. Harry grins too and captures Louis' attention again with another kiss, more powerful than the first one. 

Gemma full-on fakes disgust at her brother's behaviour but that was actually for the late-minded folks, and she was quite happy that her brother was too. She smiled before turning away to give them privacy and give Louis' mom a thumb's up. 

Harry pulls back from Louis reluctantly to find the smaller lad's hands around his bony hips, holding the opened ends of his hospital gown closed. He chuckles and Louis pouts because that's what he does when he's being mocked. Lovingly, Harry might add. 

"I don't like it." Louis simply states. "Don't you?"

"Doesn't bother me." Harry shrugs. 

Louis tugs on the ends and it brings Harry impossibly closer. "I'm protective of you."

Harry is positively beaming. "That's my job, lovely. Especially-"   
Harry pauses to bend a little and lower his grip on Louis, who squeaks like a girl once when Harry brushes over his bum. But he doesn't linger, just resuming the possessive hug around Louis' extremely low hips. 

Louis hides in the crook of Harry's shoulder because there are people walking past them with curious looks on their faces, some proud and others completely hateful. He hides from it all in Harry's chest until he realises that he needs shoes and Harry is bare-foot.

"Aren't you cold?" He asks. 

"A little."

"You should-"

"Hi, Harry." It's Louis' mom, standing behind her son with an expressionless face beside Gemma. 

"Hello, Mrs. Tomlinson. I-"

"No need for name-calling, Harry." She jokes. "Call me Johannah and could I ask a favour?"

"Of course, Mrs.- Johannah." Harry responds quickly. 

"You have to let go of my son first." 

Harry releases Louis after a quick glance and apology. Louis let's him go and stands by Gemma while they walk away to talk. 

"You know," Gemma starts and Louis' already laughing,"I never meant fall for my brother when I asked you to come over."

Louis rolls his eyes and notes the sudden shock between his eyes. He winces. "I-I....I'm not sorry?"

"Took you long enough." Gemma mocks him with a light shove. 

Harry looks over at them, still paying attention to Louis' mom but staring at him instead. That look held more meaning that any other look any other man gave his love. Sure, it's been a day and it'll probably be a rocky road ahead but they both plan on seeing where _right now_ leads them. 

Harry watches Louis like his the most fragile bird known to mankind. He doesn't want the tiny lad falling or getting hurt because Louis was pretty clumsy on his own and didn't need help from other worldly forces. He was ready to move if anyone got withing two feet of Louis and wasn't welcome.

"He looks likes he's just _waiting_ for your mom to let him go." Gemma adds distractedly. 

"Yeah but I bet she'll take me home after." He yawns and covers his mouth - he's ashamed of his yawn because no matter how much he tries, it won't go past being a feminine one with a little tired noise at the end. "'M tired anyway."

"Harry should be too. If his doctor sees him, he's dead."

"She doesn't know he's down here?"

"No. He took off from his room hoping to catch you if your mom was planning on kidnapping you or something. He's a true case, that one."

"Gems? Can I ask you something?"

"Just did."

"About Harry."

"Oh. Yeah, sure."

"Has he......" Louis felt embarrassed asking, but he knew he had to. "This isn't a fetish, is it? Or something, because-"

"You _still_ doubt him?"

"No, I just....don't want to find out he's done this before and I'm another subject of his."

She and he lean against the pillar on opposite sides. "He's never done this before. He's been......acting strange but never has he expressed an interest in anything except that damn hamster."

"Strange? What do you mean?"

"You know about him being almost bipolar?"

"Y-Yes."

"And since he 'woke up' he's been on about ghosts and hauntings. He wakes up screaming and sweating and gosh, even then he asks for you."

Louis stares at the floor, horrified. Screaming? Were his nightmares that terrifying? "He told me about what's in his head. Said you and your mom were ghosts."

Gemma laughs. "That explains it. Mom's getting real tired though."

"Tired of what?"

"Of him. She loves him, believe me she does. He's just....been a bit much lately. He won't accept help unless it's forced on him or from you. She feels helpless."

Louis wants to melt into the granite pillar and never reappear. Harry's been making his poor mother feel inadequate by asking for him all the time. 

"Do you want me to....I don't know, _say_ something?" Louis offers helplessly because he doesn't think he can do much when it comes to changing Harry. 

"Nothing you can do." She sighs. "Even if you could, it wouldn't be right to him. For him. He's done a lot for her when she was at her lowest, so he's never really gotten much for himself."

***LOUIS' POV***

"When was she at her lowest?" I ask. 

"Maybe we can have that conversation another time." 

Gemma straightens her back and clears her throat, I notice that Dr. Michaels is approaching us with a ducking female behind him. They have to pass Harry and my mother to get to us, leaving Harry in an inquisitive fit. I watch him try to look past the two bodies unsuccessfully. 

"Louis." The doctor addresses me after I do a quick look-over of this new person. "This is Edith."

"Hi. Nice to meet you." She greets us, extending her arm to shake both Gemma and my hands. 

"Same." I smile politely. 

"Edith will be helping me take care of some of the patients. Edith, this is Louis and Gemma."

"I'm Harry's sister." Gemma says. 

"And I'm not." I add in a low voice, eliciting a laugh from everyone in our circle. 

"Edith's my grad-student." The doctor says proudly. 

"It's my last year-"

"Ah!" Dr. Michaels shouts and I jump from the fright. Damn him. "Edith, this is Harry Styles."

Harry has managed to get away from my mother - who is now standing by the door looking out of place. He walks up to our informal gathering with a stiff stance, immediately coming to my side like a protective presence. 

Edith looks at Harry, as he stares back at her and I'm thoroughly confused until I turn away. Gemma's laughing with the doctor and there's a ringing in my ear that feels like an air bubble.   
I hear everyone's muffled noises but no formulated, coherent sentences and it's unnerving. Feeling like I should go to my mother, I step forward only to be yanked backward by Harry's arm around my waist. 

"Huh?" And just like that, all the sound is back. 

"Where are you going?" Harry speaks into my ear, ignoring Edith's presence completely even though she keeps standing there. 

"I'm tired." I mumble because my tongue feels too heavy.

"Your mom said you can spend the day here, but if you don't want to......"

"Oh. No, I'll stay." I look at where my mother was last seen standing, only to be met with an empty spot. I'll just text her later. 

"You are?" He addresses Edith finally. 

"Edith." She snaps out of her reverie. "Edith Brennan."

_**[A/N: Oooooh This story's gonna be a long one. Who remembers H &S [Edith?](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/2KH2adUi2N8/maxresdefault.jpg) What do u think she's here for? (She's human here though) [This](http://144.142.232.60/frominsidethebox/bates-motel-season-2-norma-vera-farmiga.jpg) is what she looks like now. I'm sorry. For taking so long to update!!! There was a freak storm that I stood through and I thought I'd die. I didn't so yay! Enjoy and pweez lemme know your thoughts. I'm @SSTomlinson on Twitter so hit me up there and we can talk :D - S xx]** _


	14. Chapter 14

_The course of true love never did run smooth. - William Shakespeare_

***LOUIS' POV***

I stood awkwardly between a chatting pair - Gemma and Dr. Michaels seem to find behavioural patterns of slightly 'loose' patients to be a suitable conversation topic - and a pair that seems to be letting off brooding energy - half of which belongs to _Harry_ which is not okay. 

Edith held no expression, but the same couldn't be said for the glare in her eyes. It was a glint of something underneath, a tiny bit of exposure that made my skin crawl.   
Harry's jaw was as stiff as I've ever seen it, his fingertips pressing into my sides until I'm certain there are tiny bruises. I don't mind them for they wouldn't be the worst I've been on the receiving end of. 

There's a familiar look in Edith's gaze. Besides being an unnerving muse for my person, Harry seems to be returning it but with less pleasant emotions. The hate is bright green and feral in his eye. 

"Lou?" I'm polite enough to not throw a reasonable fit in front of everyone, and wait for a mere two seconds before Harry diverts all his attention to me. 

Maybe it isn't what I totally asked for when he crowds me against the pillar, blocking off the sight of Edith and any other company. He loosens his grip on his hip and I exhale like it's what I've been waiting for. It almost was. I brace myself on Harry's forearms for leverage. 

"Hmm?" I may have to stand on my tiptoes to get anywhere with Harry, because the man's got a whole foot on me. 

"I'm cold. We should go upstairs." He kisses my wrists, right on the little white gashes. 

I gasp, pulling my hand towards my chest. The attempt is futile since he just holds onto them. He gives a look that tells me not to do that again, but I've never been a good listener. 

"Look at me." He must have noticed that I'm trying to peek over his shoulder. 

He pins me with his gaze and I notice a slight flinch when his lips twitch. The numbing agent that masks his burns must be wearing off. He shouldn't even be moving around. 

"O-Okay." I stutter because the coldness of the tiles has just seeped through my socks. 

I follow Harry because I'm not familiar with the layout of the hospital, his incredibly large hand wrapped around my tiny fist. 

"It was nice meeting you." Edith gets in when she realises Harry is not sticking around to have an actual conversation with her. 

"Likewise!" I have to raise my voice a little in order for her to hear me. 

"You too, Harry!" 

He ignores her. 

In the elevator, Harry is stiff and doesn't say a word save for the quiet request for me to move so that he may press the floor number on the panel. He tugs me by my hand and soon we're back in his room, that I've noticed he doesn't have to share with another patient. 

"Have you met her before?" I ask once the door is shut and I'm cross-legged on the bed again because no other place seems worthy. 

"You could say that." He reaches behind him to untie the multiple knots in a single line down the back of the hospital gown. 

"Let me do it." I make to get off the high-resting bed but he comes to me before I can. 

He stands with his back to me, and get more than a few peeks at the bandages beneath that are now tinted red and yellow. The tape is lifting at the edges, causing the cloth to slant haphazardly. 

"Who will change them?" I ask when I'm done pulling the strings of every knot. "Your bandages."

"I have to wait for a nurse." He says, slipping off the dirtied clothing - if it can even be labelled as such. 

I am grateful to every divine diety that his back is to me, or else my cover would be blown with the deep red of my cheeks. With every move his arm makes, a tendon on his back would move in correlation. Each muscle was well-defined and his tapering waist was far from imperfect. 

Where my butt was large and something absolutely hated about myself, his was smaller and more desirable. No one wanted someone with a huge bum.   
I had little to no muscles, just a pudgey tummy and a little extra flab on my hips. No amount of food-deprivation could get rid of that. Harry was lean and utterly _perfect_. 

"What are those?" I ask before thinking. 

He pauses to look at me over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow for a moment. "Burns."

"No, I-I meant on your arm. The tattoos." 

"Oh." He flexes his arm to get a better look at them. "They all mean something."

He comes to sit on the edge of the bed with me, wincing as he does. "Do you want me to-"

"No. Stay." He sighs. "Help me take them off."

I swallow nervously but nod. We stand and he faces me so that I may take off the few at the front. I haven't seen his scars openly before and it frightens me now. 

"Do they hurt?" I bring my hands up to the first hidden mark, right below his torso. 

"Yes." His words come out as breaths. 

"I'm sorry." 

He chuckles as I strip him of the medicinal cloth. "What for?"

"For you getting hurt." 

His burns aren't as horrendous as I'd imagined. They haven't dameaned much of his milky skin, except for the little dips that rest in the center of each one. The edges are taut and whiter than his skin, pulling a thin layer closer to the open flesh to heal. Because the medicine has worn off, they've started to bleed again around the edges where the skin has formed weak scabs. 

"Mr. Styles. Are you ready?" A nurse walks in, loud and shuffling a clipboard. 

"I'll-" My phone rings to disrupt me mid-sentence. "-be outside."

Harry nods reluctantly when the nurse starts to take charge, instructing Harry to take a shower with selected salts before she can re-do his bandages. I take my cellphone out of my pocket and leave the room. 

***NARRATOR'S POV***

When the nurse conveniently turns to leave the room and go sort out Harry's bath, he spins Louis around by the waist to plant a gentle peck on the smaller boy's lips. Louis gasps quietly against his mouth, before blushing and reaching up to cup the side of Harry's face. It was so he didn't lose balance and as soon as they hear the bumbling Nurse Nora return, they jump apart. 

Harry let's him go this time, he just needed a a good reassurance that Louis still cared for him when he was exiting. Now he knew that Louis did, and warily let him out of his sight. 

"Hello?" Louis answers his phone without checking the name on the screen. 

"Lou." It's Douglas. Louis' heart fails and his brain shuts down all at once. "I've been calling and you never answered. No one's at home either."

"Uh. Yeah I'm sorry. It's errand day and my parents are working."

"Oh okay."

Louis bites his lip, feeling smug about the fact that Douglas can't see his tongue dart across the skin.   
He was supposed to feel guilty and worthless, thoughts he'd had all his life. Except, he couldn't find them now. 

"So, I need to talk to you." Douglas says. 

"About?" Louis does express genuine worry for him. 

"I uh....it's personal but I'll meet you in a few?" Douglas is on the frantic side. 

"Douglas, calm down. What's wrong?"

"I-I need to see a doctor, Lou. I'm so sorry." Douglas inhales deeply, his breath is shaky and scared. Louis' heart drops when he hears him. 

"Oh Douglas. Please, calm down."

"I need to see you, Lou. I'm so sorry."

"I'll come to see you. Stop apologising-"

"No." He cuts Louis off. "No I am. I did something and I know you'll hate me. Please, Louis. Louis, I'm sorry."

"What did you do?" Louis has an inkling of what it may be. 

"I-I....."

"Tell me, Douglas. What did you do?"

"I...I was drunk, Lou. It was Anthony's party and they dared me-"

"What did you do, Douglas?"

"Babe, I'm so sorry."

And Louis knew he couldn't handle something as sudden and so wrenching in a public place. There's a gents restroom a few feet away and he makes a beeline for it. All the stalls are empty, and Louis is grateful. 

"Why....When?" Louis feels like there's something clawing its way up his throat, a rising bile of painful emotion that he'd have to bear. 

"It was.....a month ago." And Douglas is defeated because not only can Louis hear it now, but he was able to pick up something fishy in his boyfriend's behaviour for approximately the same amount of time. 

"And....why now?" Louis' eyes are stinging from the spring of tears and his nostrils flare, turning red from the flush of trying to breathe. 

"I.....I thought you should know." 

Louis can detect it in Douglas' voice now. Resentment and regret - but not for betraying Louis. It's when Douglas gives up on something, like the time he just _couldn't_ get the car running again in the middle of a storm. 

"I can't believe this." Louis covers his mouth with a shaking hand because he felt utterly shattered. "You cheated....and didn't tell me. You let me think-"

"It was a mistake, Louis." Douglas snaps. "It was when we had a fight and I couldn't think straight. I forgot-"

"You forgot about _me._ Which fight, Douglas?"

"It.....I...."

"It was more than once, wasn't it?" 

"Yeah." Douglas knows what's coming and so does Louis. It's the end and maybe neither boy is hurting as much as they should. 

Louis won't cry. He told himself that this wasn't his fault and he shouldn't feel as terrible as he does. Thing is, he cheated too and even though he didn't go past first base with Harry, Louis had enough morale to feel guilty. 

"It's....I forgive you." Louis manages after plenty shaky breaths and rapid blinking to keep the tears at bay. 

"Thought you would." Douglas scoffs. 

"What-"

"You _have_ been fucking someone. Who is it?"

"Douglas, I never-"

"Niall's been on about you and the idiot from Lost Lake. Is that true?"

How did this suddenly become about Louis' endeavours? "I didn't sleep with him."

"I know you didn't, because he wouldn't even want to." Douglas sighs loudly and it causes a ringing in Louis' ear. 

He flinches and tries to process what Douglas meant. "I don't understand-"

"That's exactly it, you never understand. You're this pathetic little whining princess who always demands things from people."

Louis gasps and his brain short-circuits, not allowing him to get in a word of his own to defend himself. Was this who he was to Douglas? 

"I wouldn't be surprised if he _never_ touches you. He's too good for you and he's in the fucking hospital for being _fucking delusional!_ "

"Stop-" Louis chokes on the air he's supposed to inhale. He let's out a sob when Douglas goes on. 

"Name's Harry, yeah? I know him and even he has _some_ class. With how much a slut you are, I'm fucking surprised that he's put up with you this long."

Louis' shirt picks up as he slides down the back of the stall door, tears flowing freely down his face and his skin burning. He didn't want to hear all the things Douglas found wrong with him but he couldn't bring himself to hang up yet. He forgets that he's in a public loo and let's all his hurt out in cut-off little sobs that are smothered by his bony knees. 

"Douglas, stop." He begs hopelessly. "Please, you don't mean it."

"Even now you're begging. You're hopeless, Louis." Douglas spits venom through the phone. "And I hope Harry realises it too before he's tied to you."

The line goes dead and so does Louis' self-esteem. He crumbles as his heart does, curling up into a fetal position on the tiles because he didn't deserve - according to Douglas, his now ex boyfriend - anything higher. He cried like a helpless child into his lap until his jeans were damp and his heart felt heavy. 

Douglas felt that way about him for all these years, and he never let it out. He led Louis on until he became so dependant on Douglas that a break-up would cause physical heartache. He needed to be away from everything that could hurt him, jab at his already prone and vulnerable soul. 

Could Harry really feel like that as well? Will he also get tired of Louis and leave him in a state much worse than this, because Louis _felt_ something deeper with Harry and he knows he'd never handle this again. 

The cloud got to him, it was a suffocating fog that make him stutter and choke until he couldn't breathe. It always showed up whenever there was a blow to his ego, an already fragile presence. It was what made him hurt himself, sit on the toilet seat or in the bathtub with only one intention: to let some of the pain leave.   
One cut released some of the ache, the burn that seemed to prickle and scald the underside of his skin. It stayed there like a fizzing acid-based chemical until it got too much and he was forced to put an end to the torture. 

He gets up and unlocks the door, grateful that nobody had entered while he was neck-deep in his emotional episode. Zipping up his jacket, he ducks from all the prying eyes as he scurries across the hallway to the elevator. The journey was the worst, because his iPhone burned bright red in his sweater pocket. His chest felt like it was filled with charcoal and he had no concern for whether Harry noticed whether he'd left or not. That makes him cry harder until he has to suck it up and walk outside. 

He wipes his nose on the sleeve of his jacket, struggling to compose himself until he's inside his house and upstairs in his personal bathroom. He turns the dial and let's the water turn ice cold before filling his tub. Not bothering to strip down, he grabs his friendly box from his basin's cabinet and slips under the water. 

The coldness immediately challenged the heat of his body, cooling him down to a shiver state. He fumbles with the box, trembling fingers and shaky breaths. It falls open and all the blades sink into the water. He grabs on, unintentionally giving himself a neat gash across his blue palm. 

His Adam's Apple bobs as he swallows, he studies the blade like a precious raw material. Douglas' words float back into his mind and he starts to cry again, head against the back of the tub. His body shakes violently, creating further cuts on the fabric of his pants as the blades get caught in the material. 

_Slut._

_Pathetic._

All he feels when the blade cuts skin is _better._ He feels relieved because he got to let out some of the stingy steam. 

An hour later, Ed comes home because Phoebe lost Mr. Fluffles. Louis doesn't hear them because his head is lolled to the side, slipping further and further into the water. Ed discovers him like that and dials 911 because a breathing person shouldn't look that purple.


	15. Chapter 15

_Love sought is good, but giv'n unsought is better._

***LOUIS' POV***

"Ugh." I groan as I sit up on this strangely soft surface. "What?"

"Hey, Lou." The voice belongs to my mother. 

"Uh-"

"Your father called the ambulance when he found you in the tub." She explains, and I notice that she's holding my hand in both of hers. 

My head is experiencing serious shock pulses from one end to the other, and straightening my back is of no use. I sink back down and close my eyes, feeling my nasal passages seize up. My body temperature seems to have returned to normal and I'm no longer in a bathtub of ice water, rather in a hospital bed where there are drips and needles alike positioned all around me. 

The last moment of my conscious before blanking out come back to me in an angry rampage. The phone call, the hurt, the lies and all of Douglas' hateful words, going home and wanting to escape it all. 

"How are you feeling?" She asks, her voice is soft and light. 

"Fine." I croak. "W-Where am I?"

"You're at the County General. Louis-"

"I don't......want to talk about it, mom."

"Really? Because you almost-"

"Almost." I cut her off again. "I didn't, though."

I know she cared, she was my mother for God's sake. I was never one for talking about feelings and getting over them with healthy sessions of therapy. I appreciated my privacy, and not being pushed to let go of information I didn't want to share. 

No one's caught me before. It was uncomfortable to be here now with people surrounding me, wanting to know just how deep my insanity was rooted. 

"You've been asleep for two hours." She answers before I can ask. "Dr. Knowles said you...." She starts to cry and I feel a crack somewhere deep inside. 

"Mom." I turn around on my side, feeling a rush of blood to the entire right half of my body. "Mom, it's okay."

"I worry about you, Lou." She tightens her grip on both my hands. "And today I just......I thought I lost you."

"You won't lose me, Mom." I give her a small smile. "No one's ready for that yet."

"I'll never be ready for that." She lightly smacks my arm. "You're still my baby."

I roll my eyes and ignore the little burn above my eyelids. "Always, no matter if I'm in my golden years."

She laughs weakly. "Sleep, Lou. But we're talking about this."

"Later."

"Yeah." She gets up to kiss my forehead. "Get some rest now."

"Where's Dad and Phoebe?" I ask through lidded eyes and with a sleepy voice. 

"They're outside. You can see them when you wake up."

I nod my head into the pillow, letting sleep overtake me. The next time I wake up, the first thing I see is a bandage on my wrist, with several red lines to indicate the cuts beneath. I cough and moan, getting more tangled in the thin hospital sheets. 

"Lou?" 

I blink my eyes open and smile at my little sister. "Hey, Phoebe."

"How are you feeling?" She sits on the edge of my bed, swinging her legs back and forth. 

"Tired." Without a doubt, the loss of blood and stress had caused all this. "You?"

She laughs and hops down to lean by the head of my bed to look directly at me. "Don't be sad anymore, Lou."

I sigh and close my eyes. "It's not that easy, Phoebs."

"Make it that easy." She sniffs. "Because I love my big brother."

I open my eyes to a sight for no eyes, Phoebe let's me scoop her up into a sweet cuddle so she isn't crying alone. I kiss her cheek and brush her hair out of her face. 

"Shh." I tickle her to get a laugh. It works. "Your big brother loves you too."

"Then you're staying here?"

"Of course I am."

"And you won't be sad?"

"How about this?" I propose. "If you let me borrow Mr. Fluffles then I'll be happy."

"No!" She exclaims. "Mr. Fluffles is mine."

"Aw." I pout. 

"We can share!"

"Alright, we'll share." I smile fondly at my baby sister because she had more of a point than anyone else. 

If I couldn't stay happy, I'd at least try for her. She'd keep me laughing with Mr. Fluffles for as long as I needed it because my little sister was one of a kind. 

There's a knock on the door and I crane my neck to see who else has come to try their hand at cheering me up unnecessarily. 

"Hey Louis." Harry stands at the door, hospital gown on and deadpan expression. 

I tap Phoebe's hip to get her attention. "Go find Mommy and make sure she's got Mr. Fluffles safe, okay?"

"Okay. Bye, Lou!" She jumps to her feet and runs off. "Bye, Harry!"

He turns to wave at her before stepping into the room, by that time I'm already curled in on myself sheepishly. I didn't want to see him, nor have him see me in this condition. I felt like I had my backbone yanked out of me, leaving me a wobbling mess at the mercy of catastrophe. 

"Louis." Harry sits on the bed behind me, not forcing me to look at him. "I saw you leave earlier. Never wanted you to come back this way."

I breathe in the clean smell of cheap chlorine from the newly washed pillow cases. It's a less than fancy scent and I scrunch up my nose to avoid inhaling too much of it at one time. 

He clears his throat. "Are you alright?"

"I'm okay." The programmed smile comes back on until my cheeks hurt. _Perfectly okay._

"I heard you and Phoebe talking." 

I cough and bring my knees closer to my chest, squeezing the air out of me and forcing little wheezing noises on the intake. 

"Is that why you're here?" 

"Don't." I wish I had the energy to shout. The glucose pump is still in the midst of its job. "Please just _stop_ pretending like I'm a nice person and you _want_ to be with me."

"You think I'm acting?"

"I know you're acting." I mumble. 

"Look at me."

"No." 

"Look at me, Louis."

His tone is biting, and it makes me wince from the ordering bark. I turn onto my back then my other side, letting the only thing in my sight be his fist. 

"Up." 

I raise my gaze to meet his hard stare and he looks _angry._

"Why do you think that about yourself?" 

"I....I-It's easier."

"Than?"

"Putting myself out there."

"So you'd rather let a worthless prick pick you apart?"

I hide in my pillow, I suddenly don't mind the odour of ammonia. 

"Louis." Harry sighs. 

When I peek out from under my arm, I see him reaching forward to touch me. I let him until he goes for my waist. I shuffle backward because I didn't like people touching me there if it gave them the unfair opportunity to feel the bones that protrude. 

"You going to let me touch you?" He raises his eyebrow, knowing I can see him. 

I shake my head and pull the covers closer. "You don't want to."

He exhales and suddenly his mass on the mattress is gone. I panic and prepare to search desperately for him because I wasn't _ready._ I just didn't want him to touch me and not want to ever again. 

"Har-" There's a forceful grip going against mine at the corner of my blanket. 

I don't fight because that would mean wasting the glucose that's being pumped into me through a drip in my arm. I am careful to keep that arm at a safe distance and away from any drastic movement. 

Harry lifts the covers and my hair's blocking my vision from knowing what he's doing. I whimper from the sudden burst of cold against my skin but it's immediately cut off.   
He crawls under the cover with me and I gasp, trying to shift over without falling off the bed. My forearm is grabbed and my body is dragged closer to him until I'm flush against his side. 

"What are you doing?" I protest weakly when he pulls me onto his chest. It's firm and warm and perfect. Obviously not meant for me. 

"Proving you wrong." He says simply. "You okay?"

"You don't have to." My eyes are already shutting on their own accord, falling asleep to the rhythm of Harry's heart. 

"I do."

"This isn't allowed."

He wraps an arm around my middle, letting his fingers dance over the paper-thin gown. I stiffen when he flattens his palm on my hip. 

"You could get into trouble. They won't let you come back." 

"Let them try."

I try to wrap myself up in as much of Harry's warmth as possible. Then I pause. "Wait! Your burns."

"Morphine." He shrugs. "And some fancy Dutch oil that numbs everything."

"But.....they bleed."

"Bandages. Lou, relax. I'll let you know if I'm hurting. Deal?"

I chew on my lip. "Deal."

My elbows start to shake and I lay myself back down, now attempting to stay away from all his burns - which is difficult. My feet are nestled between his legs and he hisses when I press them - in their frozen state - against his calves. 

"Believe me yet?" He encourages me to rest my head on his shoulder where I can conceal myself in the crook of his still damp neck. 

"I want to." 

"What's stopping you?"

And just when contentment was on the brink of spilling, Douglas' words present themselves to fend that good nature off. I felt my throat close and wrists itch as a reminder. 

"What did he say?" Harry knows.

"Who?" I play coy.

"Him. He said something that hurt you, that's why you left earlier."

"Oh. Nothing."

"He let this happen. He doesn't deserve you."

"He....He cheated."

"Oh."

"He said I don't deserve you." I murmur. 

"Do you know what I think?"

"What?"

"I think he's an idiot."

I grin against Harry's skin in a trivial effort to laugh. 

"I think he knew he wasn't worthy of you, so he tried to hurt you to make himself feel better."

"Really?"

"Cross my heart. You don't need to be upset, ever. Know why?"

"Because I'm going to be happy?"

"Because I'm going to make you happy." 

The slight correction would ordinarily bring a blush to my flushed cheeks.   
It made me aware that I wasn't alone in the battle to get better, it's all anyone ever wants to hear. That they're not alone. 

"Are you real?" The brain-to-mouth filter has been severed. 

Harry chuckles. "I am and guess what?"

I look up at him expectantly. 

"I'm all yours." He stretches - though not needed - to press his lips to my cheek and I mischievously turn so they land on my lips instead. 

_Slut._

I gasp and pull away completely, covering my mouth with my hand. Looking at Harry with nothing but an apology in my eyes, I shift around frantically until the painful tug of a taped needle forces me to a halt. 

"Hey, hey. It's okay." Harry grabs me by my hips again. 

"I'm sorry. I didn't- I'm sorry. I won't do it again." I ramble, feeling the dam build up again. "Please don't be angry." I couldn't make him mad, he will leave and I'll lose my sanity. 

"Lou." He pins my body against his, arms wound tightly around me until I'm flinching and forced to look at him. 

I look at him with a bitten lip and sore wrists. He doesn't look angry, more sympathetic because his eyes are their true green instead of a darker shade. 

"I like kissing you." Is what he says first, tucking my body into a neat fold with his. "What happened there?"

"Douglas said....." I take the chance to lower my head back to its previous position. "Said I was a slut."

Harry's fingers tightened on my sides and they may have turned my skin red but it doesn't matter. He runs his hand up and down my back, but it feels like it could be a soothing mechanism for him more than me. 

"Bastard." He mutters. 

"I'm sorry." 

"No, love. Not you." He kisses my shoulder. "Never you."

When Harry's hands stop moving, I resist the needy impulse to ask him to carry on. 

_Pathetic idiot._

_Whiny._

_Even now you're begging._

I close my eyes, letting a lonesome tear take a stroll down the corner of my eye to soak into Harry's attire. 

"Lou?" 

"Nothing." I respond immediately to deflect any cause for argument. I had no fight left in me. 

Harry sighs and I hate the sound because all it does is tell me that he's close to giving up. He starts to lift me and I look at him, wide-eyed and afraid. 

"Relax, Lou." He just positions me on his other side with a kiss to my forehead. "He shouldn't have said those things. He's a jerk."

"I know." 

"You're beautiful." Harry kisses my temple. "You're perfect." My eyebrow gets a kiss. "You're funny and cute and adorable." 

He has me giggling when he starts kissing down the side of my face. 

"Gonna let me kiss you?" He asks innocently with no suggestive motive. 

I nod slowly and lean up to press our lips together. No harsh judgments come to mind and I smile into the kiss. I bring myself up so we're sharing the pillow, my fingers gripping his curls as the touch deepens. He holds onto my waist and I onto his hair. Finally pulling apart to breathe, Harry bumps our noses to get my attention. 

"When I said I loved you, I meant it." He whispers because any sound too loud wasn't welcome. 

"I know." I snuggle back into his neck. "Will you wait for me to say it too?"

"Till my dying breath, sweetheart."

***NARRATOR'S POV***

When Ed walked into Louis' room, he almost caught a heart attack of shock at what he saw. His son was a lot healthier-looking, sleeping soundly with someone who will hopefully protect him from something like this again. Before Louis' mom can wake either boy up, he closes the door and walks back to the waiting room with a satisfied smile.


	16. Chapter 16

_You can pretend it's meant to be but you can't stay away from me._

***NARRATOR'S POV***

"Harry?" Dr. Michaels shakes the man's shoulder. He was in an awkward position, and the professional had to be wary enough to not awaken the other sleeping male. 

"Mm?" Harry opens his eyes and looks at the man looming over him with a glint of aggravation. 

"Time to go, son." 

"What time is it?" 

"After ten. I tried to give you as much time as I could but when they come to check on him....."

"No, I know. Thanks." Harry gets up cautiously. "Gimme a second, yeah?"

"Alright. I'm outside." The doctor points to the door with his thumb before leaving through it. 

It's quite the mission slipping out from under a dozing Louis without rousing him from his sleep. Louis stirs when Harry's just gotten out, and frowns while clutching his pillow. He throws his free arm over the side and Harry rolls his eyes before tucking it back under the safety of the covers. 

"'Arry?" Louis' muffled voice catches Harry's attention before he turns to leave. "Don't go."

"Have to, Lou." Harry touches his forehead with his fingers, then his lips. 

"No." Louis whines weakly. 

"Yes." Harry chuckles. "I'll be back, okay?"

"Now?"

"Later. As soon as I can."

"Promise?"

"Promise." Harry pecks his lips to seal the deal. "Go to sleep."

"G'night."

"Night."

Harry is asked to leave Louis' room door open so that the nurses know to check up on his progress. Louis' blood loss led through heavy glucose-pumps being installed by his bedside, along with nutrients that would suit his blood production well. He had to get donated blood from his mother and sister - she begged the doctor to take some - given to him. 

"Harry." The voice was feminine and not at all appreciated. 

"What are you doing here?" Harry directs to Edith, who's standing by the vending machine with her ankles crossed. 

"Working. I've got the night shift." She shrugs. 

Harry felt beyond uncomfortable having Edith anywhere near him or Louis' room - especially when Louis was so vulnerable. Harry's mind had not been altered in the slightest, he still knew danger when he saw it and that's precisely what Edith was. 

Edith saw no threatening manner in the way she acted, but Harry's constant reactions seemed to trigger a likewise response. It was fascinating to her, to see an old friend with such a fogged up mind. Due to her psychological studies, she has kept up this act and will continue to do so until she understands him.   
His relationship with the other fellow, Louis, she did not get whatsoever. Where was the bond? How did it form? 

"You're not supposed to be here." Harry won't step closer to her, but she does. 

"It's my job, Harry-"

"I meant in this ward. You aren't here for hospital work."

"And you would know."

"I would." He let's out through gritted teeth.

She laughs, taking another stride to get nearer and Harry all but growls. "You remember me, then?"

His jaw tightens inexplicably until the meshing of his molars ache. 

"Of course you do." She slaps her hands on her thighs. "And what is it, that you remember?"

"Where's Dr. Michaels?"

"What do you remember, Harry?"

He glares at her. "I don't know why you're here, but know that everyday I'm praying for you to leave." Stepping in her face he let's his words have their full effect. "You aren't wanted here."

"And you don't belong here, Harry." She doesn't waver.

"I came to take what's mine."

"Oh? Is that the boy in there? Does he know about you-"

"He _knows_ what you never will."

She looks up at him with nothing but a cold stare. "You're selfish, Harry Styles."

"I am and I don't regret it."

She opens her mouth to retaliate when Dr. Michaels appears behind her. "Harry?" 

"Coming." He shoves past her, rudely knocking her shoulder before stepping aside. 

Harry found himself reassuring his motives, knowing that he's told Louis everything doesn't make put him in a state of doubt. He follows Dr. Michaels to his own room and settling down to have his bandages cleaned. Then he remembers something Louis told him. 

_He got accepted to Kings._

That meant Louis will move away to London one day. The new semester started next year and it was already December. You knew without looking at any calendar because of the multiple stores redecorating for the holidays and the tree going up in the City Quartile.

Harry had to get out of here before that. 

"Doc?" Harry asks after he's gifted new bandages. 

"Harry?" The doctor taps his clipboard. 

"Will I ever get out of here?"

He sighs. "You will, son."

"In a month?"

"Maybe." And with that, he leaves. 

Harry felt there was too much on his mind and he would slowly slip back into the dark comfort he previously sought. Except, if he did then Louis won't like it. He gets into bed and tries to sleep with a single-track mind because he _could_ resist temptation. 

Problem with Harry was, as much as he resisted, the pull would always exist. The pull to get lost in a world of fancy. He had to convince every crevice of his brain that this _was_ his favorite dimension and didn't need fantasy anymore. Besides that, his bipolarity would always be an obstacle. If something unknown were to trigger him, he'd lash out at everyone around him. 

But he couldn't _afford_ for Louis to move away without him. What would that mean? A rebound that nobody had time to nurse. He had to make sure Louis never wanted to leave him. 

"Hey, Louis." The boy's mom greets him a good few hours later when the hospital is up and about again in preparation for the day ahead. 

"Morning." 

He exchanges cheek kisses with both of his favorite females, before Phoebe hops onto his bed to take up a faint portion of the gap Harry left. 

"We brought you some soup." She proclaims. 

"Oh thank God, because I'm starving." He straightens his back against the pillows and the upright position of the bed. 

"It's chicken!" She grins at him. 

"Thanks, Phoebs." He pats a spot in front of his crossed legs for her to sit on. 

"What did the doctor say?" His mom asks while watching her children fondly. 

"Nothing." Louis answers her nonchalantly. 

"That's fine. I'm going to talk to him now." 

"Okay." 

Louis opens the polystyrene tub and let's the whiff of cooked vegetables with chicken fill his sore nostrils. It's enough to start the process of salivating. 

There's a commossion outside that snatches up their attention. Their focuses dart to the opening by the door and opened blinds that let in the happenings of the hallway. 

"What's happening?" Louis asks because he couldn't investigate himself.

"Don't know." His mom gets up to stand by the door. 

People are rushing past, some come with flashes of light that could be from a camera. Doctors are blocking a patient in a gurney from anyone's view. 

"Emergency call." She tries to explain. "Looks bloody."

Louis scrunches up his nose in distaste because this wasn't a good start to a morning. 

"And familiar." She adds in a small voice. 

The statement puzzles Louis until there's a knock on the door and a grin bigger than any on Louis' face. Harry stands in the doorway and Louis just realises that the man is much larger when he's sitting. Phoebe scrambles off the bed to make room for him because she has a safe feeling that Louis would like Harry to share with him. 

"Morning, Mrs. Tomlinson." He greets her formally. "Hey, Phoebe."

"Hi, Harry!" Phoebe cuts off her mother from her lap. 

"Morning, Harrry. It's Johannah." She nods at him with a pleasant smile that makes Louis sag with relief. 

When Harry looks at him, spoon in his mouth and blush on his cheeks, Louis waves because that's as much as he can handle. "Hi."

"Hi." Harry doesn't move. 

"I'll go see Dr. Knowles then. Coming, Phoebe?" Louis' mom makes to leave and Phoebe goes with her after waving to her bigger brother. 

"Sorry." Is the first thing out of Harry's mouth. 

"For?" 

"Leaving last night."

Louis smiles reassuringly. "You had to."

"I came back as soon as I was allowed." He sits on Louis' bed now, shoulders slouched and eyes trained on Louis'.

"I know." Louis pushes aside the thick table-thing he's always hated that's a part of his bed. "Do you want some soup?"

Harry laughs once and shakes his head. "No thank you."

"I don't bite." Louis raises an eyebrow when Harry doesn't make a move to get closer. 

Harry gives in and pulls his weight up to rest in Louis' lap, head on the pillow Louis placed there so his skull wouldn't come into contact with boney ankles. Louis laughs when Harry's hair gets in his eye and he just tries blowing it away loudly. 

"You, Sir, have incredibly long hair for a dude." Louis bends forward to kiss Harry's lips - bits of hair strands and all. 

"I'm not complaining." Harry smiles up at him. 

"Nor am I." 

Louis starts to sit up but Harry catches the back of his neck, holding him close enough for their breaths to mingle. 

"Hello." Louis blushes because he must look ridiculous to Harry. 

"Hey there." Harry kisses him again, then twice more because it's an ideal morning when he got to kiss Louis. 

"Sure you don't want some soup?" Louis tries to say between kisses. 

"I'm good." Harry releases him after Louis takes his hand away. Louis has no excuse for his flushes cheeks and swollen lips. 

His face scrunches up and Harry studies it. 

"Why do your hands smell like rust?" Louis' body reacts to the horrid smell by causing a rhythmic thudding at his temples. It's faint and bearable. 

"Oh. A few of my bandages came off last night." Harry says by means of explanation. 

"Ouch. I'm sorry." 

"Didn't hurt, got someone to dress them."

"Good." Louis goes for the least impressive conversation topic to save himself. "You should try it. The soup, I mean." 

"It's yours, Lou." 

"And I want to share." 

"Fine." Harry lifts himself up a little, enough to be against Louis' tummy now instead. 

"Open up." Louis muses. 

"Louis, you're not feeding me." Harry smiles even through his scolding. 

"But it's my birthday."

"What?"

"Kidding but please let me feed you chicken soup."

Harry parts his lips and let's Louis - the amused little lad - put the spoon in his mouth. 

"Now chew." Louis orders. 

"It's nice." Harry compliments. "Do I get a reward?"

"The soup was your reward, Cheeky." 

Louis puts the tub away and lowers his bed back to a flat state. It probably wasn't a good idea to be entirely horizontal, so he keeps it only a little bit hoisted. 

"When do you get out of here?" Harry asks him in the middle of the quaint silence. 

"Tomorrow." Louis answers from memory. "I'm just bloody tired."

"I wish I wasn't trapped here." 

"Hey." Louis starts playing with Harry's hair - smirking at the way Harry pushes back into his hand. "When you're done with this place, it'll be better than if you were to skip it."

Oh yes, because Harry still needed tons of medication and therapy appointments to survive. "Yeah. What about Kings College?"

"What about it?"

"You'll move to London. That's.....so far away." It was a three hour plane trip. 

"I'll have to. Planning on coming with me, Styles?"

Harry nearly chokes. "You want me to?"

"Can't say. We've known each other for five minutes."

"A week."

"Okay, a week and it's still not enough time."

"When does your semester start?"

"January thirteenth. I'll leave on the tenth or something." 

Louis didn't like to talk about leaving, he'd be saying goodbye - even if it was for a little while - to his entire family and now Harry. Harry, who made him smile when he needed it the most.   
He didn't want to leave anything or anyone behind. But Harry and he have known eachother for much too short a time period, for them to be ready to....move away and live together. They had over a month to bond and see where this took them, after that a decision had to made.


	17. Chapter 17

_Baby, I'm preying on you tonight._

***LOUIS' POV***

"Hey there, Louis." A new nurse walks in, not thinking I noticed the wheelchair she left outside. 

"Hi." I look up momentarily before sharing puzzled glances with Harry. 

"Ready to get up today?"

"What?"

"Well," she fidgets with a few of the attachments to the IV before coming to strip me of all the sharp ends that pierced my skin,"in order to keep up our metabolism, gotta walk."

I frown, feeling the colour drain from my face and my limbs go completely boneless. The headache kicks up again and I'm in no condition to walk in anything remotely close to a straight line. 

"Come on." She waves off my insecurities as well as Harry. 

He glares at her, narrowed eyes and clenched teeth, before obeying. He stands closer to me to keep her from coming near and it makes me giggle. His eyes soften and I blush. 

"Don't worry, we have shoes for you." She assures me before pulling me into a stiff standing stance. 

I gasp and almost collapse from the rush of blood to my brain. I was _not_ prepared for that. "Woah."

"What?" Harry is instantly in concerned mode, though there is no need. 

He wraps an arm around my waist to support me and I'm glad that he did, it allowed me to rest some of my weight on him and ease the pressure. 

"He's got to do this on his own, Harry." The nurse says firmly, removing Harry's arm and making it _very_ difficult for me not to let out a whimper. 

But she's right and my resolve reassembles itself. I had suffered a disasterous attack, and didn't need help _walking_ for God's sake. I nod and slip on the surprisingly comfortable orthopedic slippers - nobody will ever know about them - before taking a couple of steps without pain. 

Harry may be tense with worry, staring at me like he's ready to catch me if I fall - and it's extremely flattering - but I can manage. 

"See. Wasn't so hard." The nurse declares and I beam proudly. "You can walk around but don't leave this floor, okay?"

"Okay." I nod eagerly and let her leave with a chortle. 

I turn to Harry who has covered the gap between us. "So.....where to?"

"Well....this floor's pretty boring- Ow!" He rubs his arm to speed up the healing process of the mock slap I gave him. 

"Don't tease my home." 

"Thing is, Lou, this isn't your home." 

He makes a grab for my waist and I manage to escape being captured in time. Though, I'm in no shape for full-length sprints and my victory is sourly short-lived when Harry eventually gets ahold of me at the threshold of my room. 

"I'm sure we'll find something interesting." Harry unconvincingly states, taking my hand in his and folding them together. 

We step foot out of my room and I instantly want to cower back into it. The lights are exceptionally bright out here, worse than in my room where I don't share with a nagging patient. Harry stays behind me, with the possible alterior motive to support my faltering weight. 

"Do you need anything?" Harry asks, about two minutes into our stroll. 

"No thanks." I peek up at him through my side vision just in time to catch him grabbing my other hand. 

"What's this?" I ask when we come to a set of double doors with two glass panes that are frosted over. 

"ICU, I think. Recovery Unity maybe?" Harry replies, trying to get a look at what's inside. "Here."

He pulls me to a large glass window that has netted guards on the inside to slightly mess up our sight. There are several patients lined up against the opposite wall, all hooked up to hectic clinical machinery. 

"Oh." I gasp softly. 

"What?" Harry is a strong, protective presence behind me as he wraps his arms around me - making tiny butterflies flutter in my tummy. 

"Them. I wonder what happened to them." I try to stay focused on a single clear hole that enables me to see _something._

"Me too. They're all pretty bad though." Harry adds distractedly. His nose nuzzles my neck and I sigh happily. 

Then something catches my eye. The vigorous movement of one of the patients, next to the sleeping one directly opposite to me. His ECG monitor is all over the place and his form is visibly trembling, shaking in some sort of indused fit. 

It takes under a minute for doctors to crowd around him, but in that minute or less I get to have eye contact with him against the tightening grip of Harry. The unfortunate patient was looking right at me, or maybe just had his head tilted my way but the prickly feeling of the standing hairs on my nape can't be argued with. It felt creepy and I _knew_ he was looking at me. 

"Let's go." Harry tugs on my elbow. 

"Yeah. It's cold here." I say mindlessly to prevent any prying. 

I let him lead me away and we continue down the echoing hall until it gets too much and my tongue slips up. "Did you see that guy....looking at us?"

"What?" Harry seems unphased. 

I notice how the hallway gets emptier and more silent until there's a dead end with a window. "The patient inside that room."

Harry hums and frowns. "Don't think he was, Lou."

Our only way is back so I turn around, only to be yanked right back by a gentle Harry. He smirks, lightly pressing my back up against the baby blue walls without allowing too much of the chill to settle in my bones. 

"Problem, Harold?" I look at him with light humour, trying to hide the nervousness at the back of my head. What was he doing?

"No problem, Lou. Just....." He presses his lips to my cheek, jaw, earlobe and continues downwards until I feel his hot breath fan my collarbones. "Can't get interrupted here."

"Interrupted from what?" I breathe. 

He nips and sucks on the skin below my ear and _oh._ That was pleasant. When there's a neat little red mark there, I roll my head onto his shoulder to keep it away from the wall. He awkwardly nudges at my jaw so I'd look up at him. 

"Can I have a kiss?" He asks politely. 

"Sure." I peck his cheek and he fake glares at me with a shimmer in his gorgeous eye. 

"Can I...." He pinches my thighs in a suggestive gesture and I yelp. 

"How polite." I giggle into his neck. "Yes, you may."

He uses the wall as a guiding mechanism for when he lifts me off the ground, my legs glued to his sides and ankles crossed behind his back. We're chest-to-chest and he demands my attention again by harsh bite to my shoulder.   
I mewl and look up through my lashes. He presses our lips together and I slowly lift my head, keeping it tilted, to better the angle. He allows me to knot my fingers in his curls and his eyebrows knit together in a concentrated frown as he zeroes in when I draw back slightly. 

The kiss deepens and the butterflies in my tummy start to wriggle further when he refuses to pull away. His hands lock onto my thighs to keep them where they are, and he parts his lips first as an indication for me. As soon as I do, he's attacking my mouth. I fold from the battle before I lose and he moans sweetly. 

"Lou." He murmurs against my lips. 

"Hmm?" I let my arms fold around his neck at get us closer together. 

Everything seems to drop around us, leaving just the two of us to bask in this isolated glory. I love it and I don't doubt that Harry does too. 

"I-"

"Harry? You there?" A disembodied voice decides to interrupt the fabric of our fragile moment. 

Frowning, I hold myself against Harry's body warmth and yawn slightly against his shoulder. He cooes and gently nudges my head aside to view the person whose footsteps grow louder. 

"Harry, time to get going." It's Dr. Michaels standing behind Harry looking at me with a raised brow. 

I blush and hide my face before processing what he had said, blurting out: "Go where?"

"Therapy." He responds. 

"I want Lou there too." Harry says. 

I pull back. "Harry, I can't-"

"You can. Doc?"

"Sorry, Harry. Just you and me for an hour only, okay?"

"But, Louis-"

"Can spend the time up in the pediatric ward. Do you like kids, Louis?" 

I lift my head and nod eagerly. "Love them."

"Perfect. Ask Nora about where to go and you can help out with decorating for the holidays. We'll take an hour before Harry comes to join you?"

"Alright." 

I realise that I haven't been let down from Harry's waist until he drops me to my feet with care. He ignores the hovering presence of Dr. Michaels and brushes the little stray strands of my long-ish hair. 

"Love you." He tilts my chin up. 

"I know." I hum with a smile. "What were you going to say earlier?"

"Tell you later." He kisses my forehead and turns to leave with Dr. Michaels, never looking back. 

I find Nurse Nora fairly easily and she smiles - more like beams - at my offer to help out in the kiddies department. She directs me to the floor above this one and escorts me to the desk right at the front. 

"This is Louis from recovery, and he's going to help out with the decor." She says to the other woman with chestnut hair and bags under her eyes. 

"Oh. Nice to meet you, Louis." We shake hands. "Come with me. Thanks, Nora."

I end up in the ward with cancer patients, a disheartening look on my face but endless smiles on theirs. They laugh and run around - under intense supervision - while they play. It's a nursery and I have the impedious task of sticking tinsel paper to the ceiling. Half gets into my mouth during the job. 

"Hey, Lou!" A young boy, Adam, calls from the floor where I'm stationed on a step ladder. 

"Yeah, Adam?" I try to concentrate on dropping the scissors. 

"Which colour?" He holds up green or a darker green. 

"Pink!" Sophia fusses, putting her hands on her tiny hips as she pouts. She's a favorite of mine for the past hour or so. 

"There is no pink, Sophia." Adam argues. 

"But pink's pretty!" And she reminds me of my Phoebe. 

"Well, we don't have-"

"How about we paint some pink pictures and stick them up? And use both the greens." I propose. 

"So the other green one doesn't feel bad!" Sophia exclaims, baby voice and all I want is to cuddle her. 

"I like that." Adam says with a shrug. "What will we paint?"

"Sandcastles!" Sophia immediately suggests. 

"Swords!" Adam throws back and I sigh, stepping down from the ladder. 

"We'll paint both, yeah? Sophia, you get the paper and Adam can get the paint."

"Can we mix colours, Lou?" She looks up at me with the biggest pair of puppy eyes. 

"I don't see why not." 

"Yay!" She hugs my middle and runs off with Adam close behind. 

I roll my eyes, chuckling as I work out how to incorporate the green shades into the nursery. I do a simply, civilised twirl on the wall and use up the entire roll. 

"Lou!" Sophia is back and Adam is cackling. 

"What happened?" I question. 

"Adam's being mean."

"How so?"

"He said you won't read me a story tonight when we camp."

"Camp?" I look at Adam suspiciously. 

"What? I said we could make little tents in here for the night." He replies. 

I narrow my eyes. "We didn't ask permission, Adam."

"Lou? Lou, will you really not read me a story?" Sophia tugs repeatedly on my gown. 

"Of course I will, sweetheart. I'll have to ask the nurses if we can make tents-"

"And invite everybody!" 

"We will invite everybody. Did you get the paint?"

"We did." Adam raises his arms to show off the many bottles of acryllic paint. 

"Good. Let's find a table."

"We can use a mat?"

"That works too." 

I'm held in place by a pair of massive arms braced around my middle as the little ones run off to the vacant mattress not far off. 

"Hey Lou." That gruff honey-like voice greets. 

"Hi." I turn to awkwardly kiss the corner of his mouth. "An hour's up already?"

"Didn't miss me then, I take it." He pouts. 

"It was an hour, Haz. You were two feet away from me." I make a disgusted face at the smell of salt, prominent because Harry's standing so close to me. "You need to stop using whatever oil they give you to bathe with."

He sniffs at the close air. "What is it?"

"Like salt or maybe vinegar. It reeks. Bandages get loose again?"

"No." He safely answers while peppering feather-light kisses to my shoulder and bare neck. 

"Oh." I drop my head onto his shoulder, baring more skin for him to mark. 

My eyes stay on the young ones still occupied with various paint hues on printed paper. My back presses against Harry's front and my gown comes back damp. 

"Sure about the bandages?" I try to feel the dampness and recognise the reason. 

He grabs my wrist and twists it in an unpainful way between us, his lips at my ear. "Yes, Louis."

I whimper at his dominant tone and immediately go slack in his hold. "I'm camping up here tonight."

"Hmm? Why?"

"The kids want me to. You're free to join."

"Maybe I will."

Then there's rushed movements all around, doctors answering buzzing phones and nurses taking the elevators to a lower level. I open my mouth to ask what the sudden haste is all about, but Harry shoves me against a wall with less care and a scowl on his face. 

"Lou, I need you to listen to me." He presses his palms flat against the wall on both sides of my head. 

"Harry, what's wrong?" 

He shakes his head. "I'm going to protect you always, you know that? I'll always take you with me, I'll always love you."

"Harry-"

"No, listen. You don't know me as much as you'd like, but I know you for the most part. Louis, I love you."

The space we're in seems to be shrinking. "I know, Harry. You told me-"

"I want you to say it."

"Say what?"

"Say you love me."

"Harry, I can't say it right now."

"Will you ever love me?"

"When we have enough time-"

"Say it for that time, Louis. I _need_ to hear you say that you love me."

"No, Harry. Don't make me." I chew on my lip and try to keep the tears away. I felt like a fool, being unable to say it back but I needed time to know that when I say it I mean it beyond any doubt. 

"Louis." He takes my hands in both of his and crushes them against his chest. "I need to know you won't ever leave me."

"Harry, I won't do that-"

"Then _tell_ me you love me. It isn't hard, Lou."

"It is! It _is_ hard because I don't want to be lying by saying it so soon. I hardly know you, Harry."

"But I already can't live without you." He presses his forehead against mine, and when I try turning away all he does is pin me against the wall with his body. 

"I can't see life beyond you, Louis." He continues despite the tears staining my hollow cheeks. "I want to know you're here for me as much as I am here for you. Tell me you love me."

"I can't." My lip quivers and I sob. "I'm sorry, I can't."

"I'll never hurt you, Louis. Say it."

"Don't do this." I futilely try to wrestle my arms away from him. I feel jailed and helpless. 

"I love you." He kisses my cheek. "I love you more than you know."

"Then wait for me to say it in my own time. Harry, we were doing fine."

"Louis, you don't understand. I _need_ to hear you say that, or....."

"Or what?" I try as best as I can to ignore the alarm bells in my gut and reach out for his cheek. 

"Say it." He grabs my hand to prevent me from doing so. 

"Harry, I can't." I'm crying again. "I'm so sorry and-"

He shakes his head, slamming his massive fist against the cement and attracting the attention of everyone. Without a word to me, he storms off. 

"Harry!"

He doesn't hear me and keeps going until I can't see him anymore. There's an all-too-familiar shredding feeling in my chest, as I watch Dr. Michaels' intern - Edith? - follow after Harry before I can.


	18. Chapter 18

**_[A/N: Everyone's conclusions about Harold's outburst were.....safe, but a little further than close to the real reason. Here is your answer o.O]_ **

_Angels will always smile, even the broken ones._

***NARRATOR'S POV***

"Harry!" But said person chooses to ignore the blatant urgency in Louis' voice as he leaves. 

He gets to the elevators before realising that he's being followed by a presence that isn't half as comforting as that of his Louis. He slams his fist against the panel of buttons before turning around to have a go at whoever this irritating person is. 

"Go the fuck away." He starts and doesn't stop when he sees that it's Edith. 

"Your boy in there is busting a vein." She points to the set of moving double doors behind her. "Change of heart about him?"

"None of your business."

"True, but after all the love-dovey behaviour, call me curious."

Harry caves because it's been eating at him ever since he last saw Louis. "I....I did something."

"What? Robbed the vending machine?" 

"No. I'll show you."

She follows him into the elevators and down to their regular floor without a word. Without encouragement, Harry leads her to Dr. Michaels office and shoves her inside ahead of him. 

"Oh fuck, Harry." She gasps, covering her mouth with her hand. "Fuck, fuck. _Absolutely fuck._ "

"I know. I just......blew up." He stands in the corner of the room without fear or regret. 

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know." He shrugs. "They'll lock me up, take me away. Louis will leave me-"

"Seriously? You're worrying about that manwhore when you've got _this_ problem!"

Harry growls at her. "Don't fucking dare. You're a female but I don't discriminate."

She holds her hands up, unafraid. "You can't leave the body here."

"I know." He runs both his hands through his hair. "I don't know what to do."

Edith takes a moment to observe and curate the damage. Harry didn't make a mess, the blood smeers got as far as the desk lamp and a few pages that could easily be disposed of. 

She shakes her head. "Did he do something?"

"Yeah."

"What?"

"He said.....he said he knew it was Louis' old boyfriend in ICU and that Louis had so easily moved on to me, that it would take no more than a simple act to get him to leave."

"So you beat him?"

Harry nods once, sceptical of her response. Why wasn't she screaming?

"With what?"

"The uh, heavy duty stapler."

"Serves him right. Which jackass has a heavy duty stapler anyway?"

"What?" Harry's eyes widen. 

"We have to get rid of this. Clean this up."

"We?"

"Yeah. I'm in this now, I figured."

"Why? You can report me."

"But I won't." She says, stepping closer to Harry by the door. 

Edith has worked with one too many schizophrenic patients, to know that if she wanted to get them to stay on this dark side then she'd have to entertain their evil agenda. It wouldn't take much, most of the time. She could have Harry wrapped around her skinny finger, but there was something standing in her way.   
That something had blue eyes and was crying right below them against a wall. 

"You should." Harry raises his chin. "Or are you as sadistic as I am?"

Edith grins at Harry's alter ego, because it was a proud one with no shame. She's usually attracted to soul so tainted. They were the most fun. 

"You're not sadistic." She whispers because they were close enough now. "More......"

"More?" And it also seems Harry's ulterior personality doesn't despise her all that much, if his inching closer is anything to go by. 

"Alluring."

He chuckles and draws back before she can kiss him. "I still only want him."

"Of course you do." She sighs loudly and runs her tongue along each molar of hers. "Gonna tell him?"

"Why should I?"

"Because you put his boyfriend in ICU and if he's going to forgive you for the stunt you pulled downstairs, he deserves to know."

"Would he stay with me if he knew?"

"No."

"Asked and answered, Edith."

"I like this side of you."

Harry frowns and doesn't reply to that comment. "Help me get rid of him."

"Put him in the crematorium and I'll tell the nurses that he's gone off."

"Fine. Will it work?"

"Don't see why it won't." 

Together, they haul Dr. Michaels' mutilated body to the room where many other carcasses will be turned to ash. They dump him in a cardboard box with another body so nobody will suspect a thing since it's already sealed and ready for the oven. 

Edith has managed to fend off the lighter side of Harry for a good few hours, while silently hoping Louis won't ever show up. He doesn't and she finally resigns from her task. Harry's will wasn't weak and he'd get back to his normal self at some time. When he does, she doesn't want to be near him. 

"How about we talk when you're back?" She proposes after having Harry switch hospital gowns and thoroughly wash himself. 

"That would be ideal." 

Harry was a special schizophrenic. They were wonderfully rare, and knew about their condition. Sometimes they could control when they switched personalities. It was fascinating for a person like Edith. 

"Alright, partner." She holds her hand out and he shakes it boldly. At the last moment, she pulls him in and finally gets her kiss. 

He smirks against her lips and pulls back. "Satisfied?"

"Greatly."

"Good because that's never happening again."

Harry's back was to the door, preventing him from immediately noticing the figure by it. Edith has her one hand on his shoulder, the other on his nape that she twists a little to have her fingers lost in his hair. She sees Louis though, standing there with a tired look in his eye as he came to hopefully fix things. A hope that was shattered the minute he raised his head and took in the scene before him. 

Edith maintained eye contact with him while talking to Harry, because it was thrilling to be in the middle of a mess this big. She wouldn't have to clean it up, anyway. 

"Never?" She licks her lips. 

"Don't hold your breath, Edith. On second thought, go right ahead." Harry laughs. 

"Once more and then I'm done."

He obliges and that's when even Edith hears the crack of Louis' frail heart. His voice trembles when he speaks and he doesn't know where to look. "Harry?"

**_[A/N: I no like this chapter :( ugh I don't like edith (she doesn't even deserve a capital letter in her name). So, who's hungry?]_ **


	19. Chapter 19

_A vision of ecstasy._

**He obliges and that's when even Edith hears the crack of Louis' frail heart. His voice trembles when he speaks and he doesn't know where to look. "Harry?"**

***LOUIS' POV***

"Harry?" I knew my voice shook. Why shouldn't it?

I felt numb to the core. Deeply and completely insensitive to the prone hurt I'm supposed to be feeling. Maybe it would come later, and then it would hurt so much more. 

He pushes her away, not that the detachment act had any standing now, before turning to take me in. I bet I look horrendous by the door, trembling bottom lip and clenched fist on my hospital gown.   
I tilted my head, hoping to hide some of my vulnerability as I tried to make sense of the scene in front of me. 

"Lou." Harry's head flicked to the side for a moment. 

His eyes seemed glazed over, and just now returned to their normal hypnotic green. He sees Edith standing behind him, his body shielding her from whatever meager threat I pose. 

I swallow hard enough for it to hurt, listening as time stops around me and my heart momentarily stops beating because _what's the point now?_

I turn on my heel and run back down the hall to where I know my room is, it's my safe haven where I have a lockable door to keep the monster out. 

"Lou!" Harry is following after me. 

I shake my head and go on, he owes me nothing. He shouldn't, at least. If heartbreak kept occurring for me then it must be that I did something to deserve it. If heartbreak _always_ hurt this way, then that thing must have been deeply cruel. 

I sob into my pillow after locking the door - I didn't really count on one being present. His fist bangs against the barrier multiple times, along with a sweet chorus of my name. 

"Lou? Baby, let me in." He says softly. 

If I didn't have my nails digging into my palms, I'd have caved because his voice is _all I really want for everyday of my life._ "Go away!"

"No, Louis. Why did you run?" 

Is he freaking serious? He wants me to relive it? Does he get off on it. "You're cruel, Harry. Please leave me alone."

"Lou, please." 

I pick up the remote by the table and hurl it at the door, hoping he'd get the message. He could still see me through the unsealed blinds of the windows looking into the hall, but I'll try to ignore that until I find it in me to move. 

My tears are hot and burn my cheeks as they roll down my face and onto the pillow. I wanted it to hurt, because I didn't deserve less. Right? My chest felt like a ton of bricks and I choked on every breath. It wasn't supposed to make me want to burrow into this bed and disappear. 

He said he _loved_ me. I was going to apologise for being a jerk and tell him the same because I was _ready_ to fall face first into this relationship. He, clearly, had the doctor's intern as a safety net. I deserve this for being the naïve idiot I was, and I'll probably never learn. 

Even insulting Harry hurt because all I wanted was to forgive him. He took away the edge and need to release pent-up energy through harsh means. He made me feel good about myself when all I felt was doubt. Maybe I was too much? Maybe he thought I didn't appreciate it?

"Lou?" He's still there and here comes a fresh wave of throttled sobs. 

"Harry?" I speak into my pillow because it felt incomplete. There was a flame in my chest. 

"Lou, let me in."

"You hate me."

"No, baby. I don't."

"Then why'd you do that? You said you _loved_ me!"

"I still do. I don't love another person."

"You kissed her!" I shriek, not looking up. "Why?"

"Kissed who? Lou, what are you talking about?"

"Don't call me that. You're a liar."

"I didn't lie, Louis. Tell me what's bothering you."

"That Edith woman. You kissed her, in your room. I was standing right there, Harry!"

"Oh, Lou." I hear the thump of his forehead hitting the door. "I.....I think I can explain."

" _Think?_ "

"Louis, I don't _remember_ kissing that woman. I would never hurt you like that."

"You're lying." 

He jiggles the handle that won't budge and I fold into the fetal position until my knees meet my chest. 

"Believe me. The last thing I remember is leaving you to go to Dr. Michaels' office. I remember talking to him."

"What?" His memory was wedged in stationary that far back?

"Honest, Lou." He has the handle bent. "Let me in?"

"I c-cant. What if you're just playing with me again?" I say with heavy lungs because breathing has become more of a task. "H-Harry, I won't forgive you. I t-trusted you."

"Louis? Louis, are you okay?"

"I-I'm fine."

"Is your chest heavy? Breathe for me, Louis. Come on, let me in. _Please_ , Lou. I need to know you're okay."

"I'm f-f-fine, Harry!"

"Louis!" I know he didn't mean to shout but the authority in his voice made me flinch. 

"P-Please go away." _You're scaring me._

"Louis, you know I won't do that. Open this door or I'll break it down."

"Were you telling the truth? Do you really not remember?" 

I'm already up and approaching the door with cold toes and no shoes. I wish I had the mentality to put on some socks. 

"Yes, Lou." He sighs and I stop walking. "I would _never_ do anything that would mean me losing you. Edith.....you know that story I told you?"

"Y-Yeah." I touch the door handle. 

"She was the one after us, Louis. Remember the attic and hardware-"

"Yes." 

I fumble with the door handle, hurting my hand and hissing loudly in the process. It flies open on the second try and Harry blocks it from bouncing back with his shoulder. 

"Are you okay?" His eyes move from every part of me to the next, leaving me blushing and stewing in a portion of my previous anger. 

"Okay." I reassure him before stepping back. 

His arm surges forward and grabs my hip on one end, my elbow on the other end. "Wait."

"Harry, I still want to know-"

"I know. I know, Lou." He drops to his knees and I freeze. 

"I'm not marrying you. I'm still angry and-"

"Not marriage." He cuts me off with a slight smirk. 

His muscular arms go around my tiny waist, a grand contrast to my less desirable behind that always stood out. His biceps wrap tightly around me and his nose is buried in my tummy where the pudge is just below. 

"Lou, I know you're upset with me. If you say I did what I did, then it's true and I'm so sorry it happened. I love you and I'll never pressure you or hurt you. I also know you're gullible and will easily believe me but I don't want just that for our relationship." He looks up at me with glassy green orbs that rob me of my breath. "Let me prove it?"

"How, Harry? You said you would and look where we are! We can't-"

"Dr. Michaels said I could leave."

And was there ever a thing as air? "What?"

"He said I could leave. That's what he wanted to talk to me about."

"Really?" I brighten up a minute amount. 

"Yes." He beams truthfully. "He said I needed the outside world to fully get better. We can be together, Lou. I'd never jeopardize that." He rises to his feet again. 

"That's......amazing." I smile genuinely because I _was_ glad that Harry could escape this place too. 

"Yeah? You're really happy? You're not leaving me?" 

And the tiny bit of doubt is erased with the earnesty in Harry's eyes. He is lost emotionally until I answer him. 

I shake my head and cup his cheek in a caressing manner that he leans into. "No. No, I'll never leave you."

He grins toothily at me and I can't help but return the glee. With natural strength, he picks me up off the tiles and spins me around unceremoniously. It's clumsy enough for us to end up fallen on my bed with Harry's back curved at an awkward angle. 

"Sorry." I scramble off him giggling. 

He catches my ankles and scoots up closer to the head of the mattress, rolling over so I'm under his massively intimidating weight. Tucking my feet under the covers, he lowers himself down to completely conceal me from the prying eyes of the ceiling cameras. 

Maybe I trusted too easily and maybe forgiving was too simple in my books. People deserved second chances, right? Especially when they're schizophrenic and have no idea what they're doing a certain percentage of the time. 

"Harry!" I squeal when he starts tickling my sides. "Stop, please!"

He barks out his laughter and let's me take his wrists away from my hips, which is obviously an act of him easily surrendering. 

"I'm going to take you on a date." He says, laying down with his cheek on my tummy. 

"Oh yeah?"

He hums his consent. "Wherever you want to go."

"Anywhere?"

"Anywhere." He kisses my wrist. "Do you have anywhere in mind?"

"A carnival."

"I'll have to check to see if there are any in town."

"I can do that."

"No, why? It's me taking you on a date so that's my job."

"Sure?"

"Aha." He draws untidy shapes on my skin, indiscreetly lifting the hem higher each time. "Lou?"

"Harry?"

"Would you really have not taken me back.....earlier?"

He looks up into my eyes and I find the truth slipping out. "Yes."

And the hurt in his eyes doesn't disappear. "Oh."

"I'm sorry." I rush to fix this. "But I couldn't afford getting hurt again."

"Then why'd you forgive me?"

"Because I heard it in your voice that you were really sorry. The longest I've held a grudge is a day and a half. Even after what you did, it was without knowing. Special circumstance. _We're_ a special circumstance."

The corners of his full lips twitch into a minor smile. "I'm happy you did. What exactly happened?"

"Why don't you remember?"

He shrugs. 

I sigh and shake my head. "It's better if we leave it alone. No need to relive it. Unless you really want to know, in which case I......still don't think I can do it."

"It's fine, Lou." He leans up to kiss me but I turn away at the last moment. "What's wrong?"

"I can't. I still see it, you and her. Give me a little time? Just a little and I'll be fine."

His smile falters but he cares enough to keep it up for my benefit. "No problem. Goodnight."

"G'night." 

"I love you."

I take in a sharp breath, my teeth whistling as the air is sucked in. "Will they come take you away tonight?"

"No." He turns on his side, careful not to hurt me. "We'll be fine."

It takes well over an hour for me to close my eyes, succumbing to the burning of my exposed eyeballs. Harry is snoring softly already against my front and I struggle to ignore the tapping of femining footsteps outside my door that's now swinging in the light breeze. 

In that hour I pull out my phone and text my mom, asking about the specifications of the letter from Kings. I have an admissions meeting to attend tomorrow, before the holidays and after that the decision of whether to get a dorm room or my own place. My life hung in the estranged balance that threatened to obliverate everything near and dear to my heart. 

Should I talk to Harry about London? Would he care even? Is that a vital confrontation? Maybe I should. Before I leave tomorrow, because I'm not sure when he gets released. That'll settle the plans for our date, whether it should happen or not.   
What if he doesn't want me to leave? I don't want to leave home either. He could come but I couldn't ask that of him. He had a family here, a job probably. He still had therapy sessions and medication I didn't have a clue about. It would be a disaster if we didn't get a grip. 

"Louis?" Harry's gruff, sleep-laden voice disrupts my thought train. "Why aren't you asleep?"

"I'm thinking. Go to sleep."

"You're crazy. I can't if you're wide awake."

"You can. Shoosh." I start playing with his curls and he settles back down. 

"At least tell me what you're thinking about."

"London. About Kings."

"Oh." He frowns into the still darkness. "What about it?"

"I have to live there, you know."

"I know."

"It means me having to leave here."

"In a month."

"That will expire in no time." I sigh tiredly. 

"I won't stop you from leaving. I want you to know that I'm crazy for you, but I'd never hold you back."

I blush and blink away the hazy exhaustion. "You're not so bad, Styles."

He doesn't smile and it saddens me that he looks this way. 

"Smile. Please, I can't stand it when you're-"

"You'll miss me, yeah?" And his macho facade comes crumbling down around him as he crawls further up to be directly above me. 

"Oh Harry." I wrap my arms around his neck in a comforting hug. 

"You will?"

He plants a noisy kiss on my neck and I fail to giggle like I normally would. I nod, lacing my fingers together shakily. 

"What if I came too?" He suddenly asks. "I've been a high school graduate for ages and I can apply somewhere."

"Harry, I won't ask you to leave your family for me."

"You're not. I'm offering to come with you to London. We can buy an apartment and-"

"Harry, we've known each other a week."

"And I'm ready to put my life in your hands. Don't leave me behind, Louis, but don't stay here either." He presses our foreheads together. 

"I want you to go to London because you want to, not because of me."

"Then I'll make you a deal. I'll apply to colleges there and my uncle will already have a job for me. We have a month to get to know each other better, and if we......we don't work out then we'll still go but separately."

"That makes no sense." I laugh throatily. 

"I'm proving that I do want to go to London, and going with you will be a bonus."

"I'm not a consolation prize." I stick my tongue out at him. 

"So, deal?"

"Deal." I hold out my pinky finger and he hooks his around it. 

Somehow his fingers end up between my own, holding my hands down against the mattress. His lips attach to my neck as he goes lower to mouth at my jutting collarbones. My legs are uselessly on either side of him, allowing him to shamelessly grind down in eights to elicit moans from a sleepy part of my libido. 

"Harry." I pant when he starts shuffling about, hastily tugging my gown up to expose my thighs and boxers. "We're in a hospital."

"And everyone's asleep." He bites down and creates a grip on a little of my pale skin, sucking and nipping at it until it's reddened to perfection. 

"We shouldn't do this. Harry....." I trail off because my traitor manhood has twitched in interest. 

He chuckles and runs his hands down my sides, slipping them under me to grope my behind and intensifying the thrusts. My head falls back against my pillow, exposing my throat for his teeth to have their way with. My fingers get tangled in his hair, holding onto him for dear life as he grinds me into oblivion. I'm painfully hard in my boxers, able to feel the obscene tent in Harry's underwear too.   
I want to hold onto his back, feel what must be expert muscles as they flex with each movement, but that would hurt him with his burns still in the healing process. 

"Lou." He breathes down my neck, raising the hairs and making me mewl. 

I arch my back into his touch, lifting my pelvis to meet his and earning a groan from him. His torso stretches in a very attractive way, showing off every one of his muscles as he adds more fuel to his movements. 

"Harry." I whimper when he applies a bit excess pressure and I cry out. 

His eyes widen and he asks permission with his eyes before kissing me, licking smoothly into my mouth and I get to taste him. He tastes like him, and it's an exquisite clinging scent. 

"Ready?" He lifts himself up on his arms, my lips forming a pout at the loss. 

I nod eagerly as I get to grip his hips, experience every sloppy thrust. I bite my bottom lip and dig my nails into the unharmed skin, feeling that pool tighten in my depths. I've only done this thrice before, one of which involved penetration that was less than satisfactory. I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like with Harry. 

Before I scream again, his mouth smothers mine as we let go together and make a mess of ourselves. 

"You're loud." He comments a little smugly. 

I blush and resist the urge to roll my eyes. "Shut up."

"I like it." His smirk gets more serious as his eyes darken and he comes down to kiss me black and blue again. "We need new clothes though."

"Think anyone saw us?" I chew nervously on the inside of my cheek, ignoring the discomfort in my pants. 

"Definitely." He mumbles against my lips. "Exciting, innit?"

I laugh and lightly shove him off me. "Pervert."

"And all yours." He kisses the mark he made on my neck.


	20. Chapter 20

_So kiss him again. Just to prove to me that you can._

***NARRATOR'S POV***

Louis waits by their family car for his mom to finish filling out the discharge forms. He didn't want to be inside that damn hospital a moment longer than necessary, and Harry had loyally followed him out as well. They were both dressed in normal clothes, though Harry would be discharged at a later time in the day.   
Harry had him pressed against the car, not in an oblivious-to-society kind of way, but in a way that kept the strong wind away and maybe gave Harry a major excuse to hold Louis. Phoebe had gone inside, so they were secluded now by the hood of the Peugeot. 

"As soon as I find my phone, I'm going to call you." Harry braces his arm on the frame of the vehicle above Louis' head. 

"When did you lose it?" Louis only had fondness in his gaze, his tiny hand twisting the fabric of Harry's oversized hockey shirt. 

"Before going to the rehab center." He sighs. "Doesn't matter, I didn't have anything important on it anyway."

"Irresponsible much?" Louis jabs, draping an arm over Harry's broad shoulders and yanking him down to eye-level. 

"The worst. You shouldn't be around me." Harry smirks playfully, brushing past Louis' lips without kissing him. 

"Maybe I should leave." 

"Too late." He surprises Louis by grabbing the backs of his thighs without hoisting them up. "You're mine now."

Harry's little growl makes Louis giggle when they kiss, so Harry's lips meet Louis' teeth for a brief moment. Then he concentrates and kisses Harry back as passionately as he's allowed to in public. 

"Oye! We have kids here!" Some unknown voice reprimands them and Louis pulls back to laugh. 

Harry grunts and completely ignores them, finally lifting Louis off the ground and moving around the back of the car where no one can see. 

"Harry?" Louis raises an eyebrow when he's lowered to the surface of the low trunk. 

Harry captures Louis' lips with his and restrains himself from clawing at Louis' clothing. He pushes Louis up the metal portion and furrow his eyebrows as he focusses. The kiss was sloppy and desperate, no amount of Louis' effort could lessen the hunger in Harry's eyes. 

When Harry reaches under Louis to very abruptly squeeze his behind, Louis squeaks and digs his nails into Harry's shoulders. 

"Harry, there's simply nothing you can start that we'll finish in time." Louis mocks. 

Harry mumbles something about not caring and kisses him silly again. 

"Slow down." Louis' legs form a circle around Harry's hips as he forces him to draw away. 

"What?" Harry groans like a child and slides the smaller boy closer. "I want you, Lou. All the time and I can't- it's hard to stop when I touch you."

Louis brushes Harry's massive head of curls back so he can see his eyes. That was a deep thing to say, right now in a far from abandoned parking lot after such a rocky road. 

"One day." Louis decides that if he's making Harry wait, it'll be for just one thing at a time. "Love me?"

"Always." Harry's hair falls back across his eyes like a curtain. "Love me?"

Louis doesn't need to think about it, not really, considering that's all his done since their rendezvous to the storage closet last night. He ruffles up Harry's hair, making a real mess of things before pulling the sides away to reveal Harry's face. His lips are swollen and his eyes are more beautiful than they were yesterday.   
He presses their foreheads together so their breaths mingle on each exhale, preparing for it. 

"Love you." He silences Harry's immediate response with a kiss that Harry easily melts into. 

He eventually catches on and pulls away to breathe. "You do?"

"You're hard not to fall for, Tarzan." 

Harry pouts. "I have better hair than him."

Louis adamantly shakes his head. "Do not. Now kiss me you fool."

Harry obliges and attaches his lips to Louis' for a long, breath-deprived session of intimacy. When they separate, Harry's eyes flutter to the side. 

"Your mom's coming." He informs. 

"Oh. I better go." Louis starts to slide off the motor but Harry holds him in place. 

"I need to know when we'll see each other again."

"Come for dinner tonight." Louis says with a wide smile, being allowed to hop down and settle for holding Harry's hand. 

"Really?"

"Yeah. Mom loves cooking for company."

"What does Mom love doing?" Said woman interrupts with Phoebe on her hip. 

"Can Harry come for dinner tonight? He's also getting out today." 

"Of course, hun. Now hurry up and say goodbye because your father can't work a stove to save his life."

"Alright." He waits for her to get in before turning to Harry. "You heard her. There's no turning back now."

Harry chuckles. "I promise to be there. What time?"

"Five." Louis rocks up on his toes to kiss Harry full on the cheek. "Bye!"

"Love you." Harry holds Louis there, whispering into his ear. 

"Love you." He takes in a deep whiff of Harry's cologne - cinnamon and musk. 

He gets in and Phoebe crawls over to him, sticking her hand out the window to wave at Harry as they drive on by. 

Harry went back into the hospital, snatching up the discharge forms he was required to fill in himself since his family didn't exactly _know_ he'd be coming out today. He had a plan, you see. One that involved sealing an apartment lease in London, pulling more than half a dozen strings to get into a college in London, and going to dinner this evening. Maybe he'd be a few minutes late. 

Edith was there to greet him by his room door when he showed up. He groaned in silent dismay and shoved past her, he was on thin ice with Louis and had just gotten all of Louis' trust. 

"Got something for you." She says, waltzing into his room with her hands behind her back. 

"Fuck right off, Edith." He hisses. "I don't want you coming near me or Louis."

"Problem is, I'm the one who knows what you did."

"What?" He blinks at her confusedly. 

"Aw. You're all innocent now, aren't you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about-"

"Of course you don't. I like you when you're angrier." She takes one step forward and Harry steps back. 

"Leave-"

"I bet your lovely Louis doesn't like it when you're angry though." Another step. 

And ordinarily Harry would smile at the mention of Louis, except now it was a threat to Louis and something he would not stand for. 

"What did he say when you went to him last night?" She keeps her hands latched to her back. "Did he leave you? I bet you begged him to take you back."

Harry's vision was growing fuzzy around the edges and he glared devilishly at his female foe. 

"Angry, are you? Good." She brushes her hair away from her long face. "Don't worry about him. He's as dependant as they come, you can fuck up all you want and he'll always take you back."

Harry wasn't liable for what he thought of doing to her, and didn't hesitate to shove her against the door. Her head bangs against it and there's a smile instead of frown on her face. 

"Nice to see you again." She pushes him off her by his shoulders. "Told you I liked you angry."

"Edith, there are no words for what I think of you." He says through powerful clenched teeth. 

"Love you too. Now, for your gift." She brings whatever was hidden to the front. 

He scoffs and folds his arms, leaning against the door after shutting it soundly. "I'm waiting."

"You did good yesterday." She says. "Never thought you had it in you."

"Yeah well," Harry crosses his arms,"Looks can be deceiving."

"They can. This-" She holds out a mini duffel bag "-is for you."

He snatches the object and feels it weigh down his bicep. Armed with a curious frown, he tugs on the ropes to release the catch. 

"What the fuck, Edith?" He immediately closes the bag. 

"What? There are no metal detectors and you _need_ it for when you decide to get fucking sloppy again."

"Sloppy? Excuse me if I'm not a professional killer."

"Might wanna tone it down, Styles. Real adults are all around us."

"What do I do with this?" He raises the bag containing a Browning 9mm in the air. 

"Keep it. Protect your boyfriend with it. Just _don't get caught with it._ "

***

Louis was nervous. He was upstairs in his room with Phoebe - who was half asleep against his pillows - trying to decide what to wear to dinner. Usually it was slacks and no T-shirt if he really felt like a rebel, but tonight had a dress code. 

"Phoebs!" He wails. "Help me."

"I'm ten, Lou." She calls back. "I don't know anything."

"You know enough to be able to say that." He clambers to his feet. "The red button-up, black striped or plaid?"

"None." She shakes her head vigorously. 

"Then?" He's about to break down. 

"Wear the black jeans Mommy got you. Mom!" She suddenly shouts when they see their mother hurry past the open door. 

"Phoebe dear?" She peeks around the bend. 

"Lou doesn't know what to wear." 

"What about those black jeans?"

"That's what I said!" Phoebe collapses on top of the pile of clothing. 

"With the white and blue striped shirt?" He looks between the females for a hurried opinion. 

He gets it after they both deliberate and nod, causing him to kiss both their cheeks and duck into the closet to change. He figures it's a good look, he maybe fancied how the jeans brought out the good angles of his otherwise large bum. It isn't like anybody's complimented his bum, so he always thought it was a negative feature. Now though, it looked great. 

"Lou!" His mother calls to him from the base of the steps. 

"Hello?" He answers distractedly. 

"Phone call for you." 

"Coming!" 

Thinking it's Harry, he rushes down the staircase almost landing on his arse from the clumsy haste. Panic runs through his veins as he thinks of all the horrible excuses Harry could be picking to smother him with. 

"Hello?" He says into the speaker. 

"Dude, what's the hurry?" It's Zayn. He hasn't spoken to or seen Zayn in such a long while, and he didn't realise he missed his mate. 

"You're just that important, Zayn."

He can feel Zayn rolling his eyes. "So me, the lads and the girls want to hit the town tomorrow. You in?"

"You sound like you're from the eighties, Zayn. Speak English!"

"We're gonna go out!" Zayn laughs. "All of us and wanted to know if you'll come too."

"Sure uh.....can I bring someone?"

"The more the merrier, mate. Who though?"

"You'll see." Louis nervously chews on his bottom lip as he glances at the clock. 

"So meet us at seven by Mikky's place. Liam got the keys for tomorrow's shift."

"Deal. Gotta go, Zayn!" 

"Bye, Louis."

The doorbell rings just as Louis puts the receiver down. His mom peeks out from the kitchen and Phoebe is giggling in the background because everyone can see the sheer terror in Louis' eyes. His dad gets off the couch to answer it, completely unaware of the antsy females behind him. 

"No!" Louis' mom stops him, grabbing Ed's arm and hauling him towards the kitchen. "Let Louis get it."

Louis doesn't let go of the breath he thinks he's been holding for a year. Why is he so nervous? It's only five, and dinner is at half six, which means they have over an hour to themselves. 

The bell rings again and Louis snaps out of it. He got a thumbs up from his mom and felt like he was back in high school, the afternoon of prom night. He exhales and goes to answer the door, twisting the golden knob with a fidgety hand before freezing. 

It wasn't Harry. It was Douglas.


	21. Chapter 21

_With love comes strange currencies._

**It wasn't Harry. It was Douglas.**

**LOUIS' POV***

It didn't look like Douglas, and if I didn't know the man for over two years of my life then I'd never have recognised him. I gasp loudly, unashamed by the noise as I involuntarily step back. 

"Do-Douglas?" I question because I can't be too sure. "What happened to you?"

Pure curiosity got the better of my hatred. Douglas was covered in bruises and bandages that put him in awful shape, if he were any worse he'd be in a wheelchair. He stand at an awkward angle that looks painful and I try to ignore the simple tugging of emotion for a friend. He wasn't a friend, he tore my heart to shreds when I was already weak. No friend ever does that. 

"Lou, I have to tell you something." He tries stepping around me but I hold the door a little tighter. "Louis?"

"You can't come in, Douglas." I say shakily. He always made me feel the urge to submit. 

"Louis, this is important."

"My family's inside. They don't need to hear anything you have to say."

"Louis, I was wrong. So wrong about that Harry kid." 

My eyes nearly roll out of their sockets at Douglas' words. 

"Louis, he isn't what you think he is. He's nice to you but half of him isn't....isn't _normal._ I'm doing this for you, I got out of hospital to tell you. I saw you and him together and I don't want him hurting you-"

"Hurting me? What the freaking Hell?! You really think _you_ get to act like you care about me? You hurt me and insulting the person who's fixing me."

"I'm serious, Louis!" He booms. "He came to me, the night we broke up. He came and- I don't really remember but- that guy is ruthless, Louis. I never thought he could but he can."

"Get out, Douglas."

"Louis, listen to me."

"No! I will not listen to you. You probably got into a stupid bar fight and am blaming it on Harry. He was with me the entire time. I'm sorry you got hurt bad enough to be in hospital but- oh my God." 

I pale at the new arrival pulling up on our driveway. It's a black Jeep Cherokee and the driver was already fuming by the way he slammed his door as he discounted. 

"Leave." I hurriedly whisper. "Go, Douglas."

"Louis, I can't just-"

"Douglas, he's-"

"I won't leave this or you alone."

"You're going to anyway." Is what the new voice adds. 

I jump back half a foot and resist the urge to cower away, we didn't need a fight on our front porch. Harry was wearing a black suit jacket and skinny jeans which would make his appeal oh so great, now it added to his intimidating stance over Douglas. 

"He was leaving." I make urgent eye contact with Douglas. 

If I didn't know better, I'd say Douglas wasn't afraid. Except he was. Petrified by the way he looked. What the Hell?

"Harry." I wrap my fingers around Harry's forearm. "It's fine."

"It isn't, really." Harry bites, but not to me. To Douglas. "Why are you here?"

"Between me and Lou." Douglas tries to shrug but flinches because his arms won't lift past his ears. 

"The fuck it is." Harry towers over Douglas though they're the usually the same height. "Now, I'll ask again. _Why are you here?_ "

"Came to a-apologise."

"Not accepted." 

"Louis?"

"Go please." I plead with Douglas. 

I could feel the adrenaline course through Harry's veins in the form of heated blood and angry emotions. 

Douglas nods and turns to leave, but Harry has him held back by his wrist. There's a snap and a piercing howl from Douglas before he crumbles to the ground. No neighbors have shown up and I wave away my inquisitive father. I could handle this. 

"Harry!" I pry his hand off Douglas and drop it to his side. 

Kneeling beside Douglas, I don't dare touch his hand. "Douglas? Do you need an ambulance? A ride? What?"

"Fuck!" He curses and I fish my phone out of my pocket. I dial the hospital because there's nowhere else to send him since a few bandages have been torn open. 

"What on Earth is going on?" My father appears at the doorway. 

Harry takes my hand without me offering it and pulls me into his side. 

"I-I fell, Sir." Douglas lies and I stare down at him, ghobsmacked by his out-right lie.

"You shouldn't be out anywhere like this, Douglas. Louis, take Harry inside while I stay here."

"I can-" I start and stop when Harry releases a strong growl - a sound I didn't know was possible from a plain human. "O-Okay."

Once inside, I assure my Mom that everything's okay and there's no need for an arrest. She allows me to take Harry upstairs while they call Douglas' sister - the only person in town with him. 

"Harry." I try to wriggle out of his embrace that he has me in the minute my door closes. 

"Mine." He kisses the column of my throat and nips at the soft skin. "All mine."

"Why'd you do that to him? He was already in bad shape." I struggle a little more before surrendering. 

"Because he shouldn't have come here."

"He came to talk to me."

"And I don't know why you let him. He hurt you so much, Lou. I couldn't stand seeing him there and talking to you that way."

"It doesn't matter, Harry-"

"It does, Lou! It matters that he offended you and it _definitely_ matters that he showed up here to see you." 

The force of his grip loosens and I use the opportunity to escape from the tight circle. I spin around to face him when I'm as far away as the edge of my bed, him still standing by the door. 

"Harry, he just got out of hospital!" I exhale. "And you...you broke his wrist?"

"He deserved worse." He mutters darkly. 

"Really?" I put my hands on my hips. 

"Yes, really! He didn't care about anything when he said those terrible things to you. How can you forgive him so easily?"

"I-I haven't. I just.....people get angry and they say things they don't mean-"

"That they do, but he isn't one of them. That bastard made you _cry_ and- I don't even understand, Louis. People do bad things and you're allowed to be angry with them."

"I know, but they're mistakes so-"

"People don't make mistakes the way Douglas did."

"You said people get angry. He wasn't always like this, Harry." 

"Do you still love him?" Harry looks at me, gauging my reaction. 

"No, I don't."

"Then why are you defending him? He _isn't_ your friend, Lou."

"He came here to warn me. He must care a little bit." 

"Warn you? About what?"

"Nothing, it was an apology. I didn't forgive him but violence doesn't solve anything."

He rolls his eyes, swinging one log forward as he approaches me. "Violence solves everything."

"You mean the problems that violence started in the first place." I curl my fingers around his forearms when he places his hands on my hips. 

"You can't see him again." Harry finally mutters slightly above his breath. 

"Harry, you can't tell me something like that."

"I'm looking out for you, Lou."

"You're bordering on being controlling-"

"Don't even." He completely separates himself from me and steps back. "Why won't you listen to me?"

"Because I require evidence."

"And what he said to you wasn't evidence enough?!" His voice bounces in a guttural echo off the walls. 

"Harry, don't do this. Calm down."

"Fuck's sake, Louis!" His teeth are clenched so tightly I'm certain that they've begun to ache. "I'm doing this for you."

His hand rises parallel to his forehead, and I curl my shoulders to prepare for what's coming. I know what from past experiences. I can't help my scared gasp and the squeezing shut of my eyes.   
Except, time ticks on and nothing happens. When I peek up at him, Harry's staring at me with wide green eyes, outrage and sheer shock evident in each of the two orbs. 

"Louis?" He fishmouths for a few seconds. 

"I'm fine. It's okay." I rush to calm the situation because I didn't plan on explaining past years' abuse techniques before dinner. 

"You thought I was going to hit you?"

"N-No, I just-"

"Louis."

"Yes." I look down, ashamed. "I'm sorry."

"Baby." He pulls me in for a warm hug that nobody could resist melting into. "I'd never hit you. Don't you know that?"

"I do now." I mumble against his straining bicep. It felt like home in his arms, warm and comfortable to a degree of illegitimacy. 

"That absolute bastard." It's suddenly cold when he releases me, dropping my arms and taking a stride I can only dream of towards the door. 

"Harry? Harry no, please." I use all my strength to latch onto his arm and tug him back. 

"Snapping his wrist wasn't enough." He seeths and if I hadn't been in Harry's company while he was a total sap, I'd be terribly afraid. 

"It's okay-"

"Don't you _even dare_ try defending him." He yanks his arm away. "He hit you and you're okay with that?"

"I'm not but I can't do anything about that now."

"Then I'll do something."

"Harry." I say his name in a quiet tone hoping to ground him. "Harry?" He still ignores me, staring at the ground with his posture hunched over in eratic aggression. "Harold."

He looks up at that and I smile as small as I can, making it heartfelt and not forced. Extending my hand, I slip it into the moist warmth of his and tugging. 

"Come here." 

He comes at my beckon with a heavy sigh of relent that settles the emotional turmoil of my mind. I put his hands high on my waist, trying not to shudder when he casually drops it lower. Mine are caged between us, preventing and obstructing any cause for movement. 

"You're incredible." His mouth is at my ear.

I giggle into his neck, a place that's become a haven for me with its feeling of security and elaborate comfort. "And?"

"All mine, of course." I get a loud kiss on my neck and I squirm with annoyance - maybe some delight. 

"Ew, Harold." 

His lips spread into a wide smile against my skin, before I'm suddenly being lifted and tossed onto the bed almost carelessly. I open my mouth to protest against the continuing of anything suggestive, already crawling back on my elbows. 

"Oh no." I incidentally flop onto my front whilst trying to get up. 

Harry has his large hands around my insufficient ankles, holding me put while I shuffle relentlessly. We couldn't do anything because my parents were in the same house, with my baby sister and we'd just gotten through half a dozen arguments in one go. 

I'm flipped back over in time to watch Harry crawl over me, his body able to completely conceal mine. 

"Harry." It's the umptienth time I've said his name. "We can't do this now."

"No?"

"No." I stop him by interlocking our fingers and just holding them. It felt nice to hold his hand. 

"Later?"

"Maybe." I shrug. "Could be tired later."

He groans like a petulent child into my collarbones. 

"My friends invited us for a night-out kinda thing tomorrow."

"You, you mean."

"Yeah, but you're my plus one."

"Lou, your friends don't like me."

"They have to like you because I like you."

He comes up for a patient kiss, taking to nibbling on my bottom lip when he doesn't want to pull away but still needs to breathe. "I like kissing you."

"I sure hope so." 

"I love you, Lou."

"Love you too, Harold."


	22. Chapter 22

_It may have been in pieces, but I gave you the best of me._

***LOUIS' POV***

Dinner was ready at eight o'clock. It would have been much later had Harry and I not volunteered to help out - mostly for the reason that we didn't want to get carried away in their isolation. 

Phoebe was in charge of the roast potatoes, which she masterfully completed without a single burn or mess-up. Harry was skilful in the kitchen, getting the dicing of every vegetable for the side done in half the time it would take my mom. My mom smiled proudly at him, quite smug with the note that he could cook. I, on the other hand, came out of making the salad with two Superman band-aids and a red thumb. 

"So who's doing the dishes then?" My mom asks while I get take the plates from Harry since he could practically reach the tallest cabinet in this household. 

"Not it." I say first, followed by Phoebe and poor Harry didn't catch on until he was already at a loss. 

"Rags are in the drawer. Good luck, Harry." She laughs. "Let's go eat."

I follow behind her with Phoebe's dish then Harry with the girl herself. Mom and Dad sit at the heads of the table, Phoebe next to me and Harry opposite to me. It was unfortunate but Phoebe didn't waste time in rushing to the cushioned chair beside me. 

"Is Harry staying for movie night?" Phoebe quips. 

I'd forgotten about movie night. It was a family tradition and I'd forgotten. I look up to see my mom deliberating and father red in the face with suppressed questions. He'd blow at any moment. 

"If he wants to." My mom finally says. "Do you?"

He looks at me and I avoid his gaze, staring down at my food with focus and attention. The roast chicken was some of the best my mom's ever made. 

"It's alright. I have to fetch Gemma and head home, but thank you for offering." He smoothly responses and my heart drops guiltily. 

The meal goes by in anything but silence. Phoebe asks loudly for anything she wants and it usually ends up in childish banter because she can't reach high enough to get it from me. I stop immediately after noticing Harry's smirk directed at me, because we very well know that I'd never be able to reach his full height either. 

"Louis, stop annoying your sister." My mom lightly scolds because she's speaking amidst laughter. 

Phoebe forgives me the minute I dish out more food for her. "Hey, Lou?"

"Hmm?" 

"Did you see Mr. Fluffles?"

"No. Why?" I frown. 

"I can't find him anywhere."

"We'll look for him later, yeah?"

"Okay."

When everyone is done my parents take the dishes - because the agreed-on rotation cycle says they must - to the kitchen while I walk Harry out and Phoebe picks a movie. 

"Sure you don't want to stay? Phoebe usually picks a cartoon and falls asleep halfway through." I ramble like there's no need for a tomorrow. 

"Yeah." Harry sighs heavily. "I'm fine. Next time."

***NARRATOR'S POV***

"Yeah. Okay. Fine." Louis made a consenting gesture with his nodding motion. 

"Goodnight, Lou." Harry places a finger under Louis' chin to kiss him. 

"G'night." Louis has turned bright red and fathomably beautiful in the faint light from a dying bulb. "Tell uh- Gemma I said hi."

"I will." Harry walks away with a small wave so Louis can close and lock the front door. 

Harry calls Gemma while pulling out of the Tomlinsons' driveway to let her know that he'd be a little late coming home. He inquires about his mother, and get the common but still peeving response that she's smoked one too many fags with a bottle of cooking rum. That woman was killing herself, and everyone knew it. Why she had to drag it out and just add expenses, was beyond Harry. 

He doesn't know where Douglas lives, but he has his sources. Edith's weapon of choice - and friendly gift to Harry - was tucked into the waistband of his jeans at his back. After twenty minutes of asking around, Harry finds the man at home with a half-empty six pack. 

Louis had Phoebe sleeping against his shoulder as he juggled switching off all the lights and going up the stairs without a peep. Hanayen is knocked out too, on Louis' bed without a care for where Louis himself is supposed to sleep. He puts his sister to bed, checks on his parents - albeit hesitantly - and tiptoes to his room.   
After a quick shower - because Louis was certain he'd fall asleep against the wall if he didn't hurry up - he slips into a loose T-shirt with sweats and sleeps under the comforter for eight wondrous hours. 

The next morning it's all over the news. The murder wasn't clean, professional, and had lots of evidence left behind. Evidence that led to every single one of Douglas' relatives and/or recent visitors instead of the actual suspect. 

Harry had mucked up the stupidity to seek out Edith's help, because it isn't as if he's done this before. She laughed and nodded, having a bit of teasing fun when Harry showed her the body in his trunk. He wasn't sheepish or scared, just annoyed that Edith had to take a whole half hour to shut up. 

The body had been discovered by joggers on Pike Hill, loosely hidden amongst the dwarf shrubs in their spring season. Louis was at breakfast, flipping what could be the best pancakes he's ever made, when he sees the news on their living room flat screen. 

"Turn that up?" He asks of his mother as she nears the remote on her beeline to the kitchen. 

She does and the voice of a shrill female reporter fills the silence. _"Local youngster, Douglas Booth, was found shot and killed on Pike Hill earlier today. At around eight, Katherine and-"_

Louis stops listening because he couldn't think straight anymore. He was yanked out of the robotic routine of pour, push, flip and repeat. 

Louis' mom has also stopped moving, and is caught between gawking at the TV or ensuring her son hasn't burnt himself. She did receive an emergency call from her deputy this morning, however he refrained from letting slip any details that would give the case away. 

"Lou?" She enters the kitchen after the segment ends. 

"I-I'm fine." He immediately stutters. "We broke up."

"I know you did." She kisses his flushed cheek with worry. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." He answers in a voice that's too high-pitched. Worse than usual. 

"Want me to stay in?"

"No, no." He shakes his head. "I'm fine. We broke up a-and.....stuff happens? I-I don't know. You should go to w-work. It'll be busy today."

"Yeah, it will." She sighs. "Don't forget your admissions test today."

He had forgotten. "Oh! I'll go get ready now."

"Louis? The stove's on."

"Right. Sorry." He returns from the doorway to turn the dial before exiting again. "Wish me luck!"

"Best of luck, sweetheart." She shouts to his back. 

"Luck for what?" Ed walks in, clothed in pyjama bottoms and his bald head crowned with faint traces of grey hair. 

"Today's his admissions test for Kings." She answers her husband in a whisper, lightly batting his arm because how could he not know?

"Oh yeah. Does he need a ride?"

"Don't think so. Did you see the news?"

"No. I was asleep twenty seconds ago."

She rolls her eyes. "Douglas is dead."

"Oh." All of Louis' family never took to Douglas as a son - on in law or not. "How?"

"Murdered is what the newspapers suspect."

"Oh man." And the sympathy leaks through because murder is still a sad thing, the loss of a life is nothing to be nonchalant about. 

"Yeah."

"Louis?"

"He knows. Hasn't said anything other than they broke up."

"That's not good for him, you know."

"I know. I have to work but-"

"I'll be here. I'll drop him off and pick him up from his test."

"Thanks." She kisses her husband. "Take Phoebe."

"Pull her out of school?"

"It's Friday. Nobody cares. She'd do him some good since he talks to her more than he does to us."

"Ironic, neh?"

"Oh shut it. Call in work please. I'm leaving." 

She grabs a pancake with a napkin and leaves just as Phoebe walks in, armed with her Marvel school bag. "Morning, Daddy."

"Morning, my angel." He picks her up onto the stool. "How would you like to spend the day away from school?"

Louis rummages through his closet so he'd have something to do other than let his mind wander, the nagging lurk in its depths. _Douglas is dead._

By murder, with a gun. More than one shot and a case of overkill. Overkill only happened when it was personal. Louis wouldn't cry for Douglas' death but maybe he had to go to the funeral. 

Pike Hill. He frowns as he reaches his sock drawer, slamming it shut immediately to go on to his folded vests. He's never been to Pike Hill. No, he did. It was prom night - and Douglas was there - so a bunch of his friends had escaped the festivities by jumping the fence. Nobody ever found out. 

Who would murder Douglas? Why? He had no friends here as far as Louis knew, and no grudge-bearing family members. Only his sister, and they didn't even live together. Maybe it was a mugging gone wrong? But Louis had seen the photos and Douglas still had on the clothes that he came here in, which made no sense because they were taking him to the hospital after the outburst. 

Maybe it was too simple to keep him admitted in the hospital so he was discharged. But it was _overkill._ Someone in Middleston had a gun and they were losing it. Louis' hands shook at the thought, stripping to his briefs as he'd already taken a shower. 

Who did that to Douglas?

Louis' phone buzzes and he jumps, tripping over his pants and falling onto his bed. Hanayen barks and jumps on too, tossing Louis to the floor with his gigantic presence. 

Louis pats the dog on his head, pinching his ear because the old dog liked that before fetching his phone still undressed. He made sure to check the caller identification - call him paranoid. 

_Harry_

Louis stares at the name until it goes dull again, lost in his accusatory thought process. What if Harry did it? After he left Louis' house, what if he went over to Douglas' and shot him? Did Harry even have a gun? Harry seemed to absolutely hate Douglas so there was the motive. 

No. Louis shakes his head. Harry wouldn't kill anybody because he was let out of the hospital for _recovering,_ not getting worse. Louis was sure of it. Maybe. 

Harry calls back but Louis' phone is now on silent and he really needs to get through today. He had a lot to do to prepare for London. 

"Hey, Dad." He jogs down the stairs. "Can I get a ride to the community centre? I don't.....feel like driving."

"I'm off and bored today so I thought you'd never ask." His dad triumphantly grabs his car keys. 

"Phoebe?" Louis raises an eyebrow at his sister at the breakfast bar. 

"Morning, Lou." She waves her chubby little hand at him. 

"Morning, sweetheart. Why're you home?"

She coughs on cue. "Not feeling well."

"Aha." Because Louis didn't believe that one bit. "Coming with?"

"Yeah!" She cheers, coughing forgotten. 

The community centre is always a hive of attention and busy activities on weekends, which meant today it was dead. All the would-be students of Kings are inside stressing over what questions will appear on the test and what will be asked of them if they make it through to the interview. 

Louis wasn't chilled. He stayed in the car until ten before he scrambled out and waved goodbye to his laughing family. Inside was even worse because he was surrounded by panicking youngsters. There was nothing to study, was the dilemma, because everything was either general knowledge or meant to be failed. It was multiple choice anyway. 

There were several textbooks and photographs on display for students to drool over. The dorms looked appealing, even for Louis, but he wanted his own place without a room mate. Well, Harry didn't count. 

They were called in for the three hour exam and began. At 12h59 they were warned that extra time would mean the loss of marks so Louis wrote faster. At 13h00 he was finished and thanking God that he was. Now, they had an hour break before they'd be informed about whether they were chosen or not. There was an exam room full of markers waiting to receive their papers. 

"Hi." A perky female greets him out of the blue in the 'free room' they've been shoved into. 

"Hello." Louis smiles politely. 

"I'm Tracy." She holds out her hand. "Tracy Hardley."

"Louis. Louis Tomlinson."

She smiles and turns around to wave over a male trio who were standing behind her. Tracy has dark brown hair with a single purple streak at the front. The boys that approach us don't look like Middleston-ers. One could be her brother, with the same button nose. The other two were twins and very tall, with white hair and grey eyes. 

"Guys, this is Louis Tomlinson. Louis Tomlinson, meet my brother, Daniel, and MJ and DJ." She introduces. "We're from Dynasville."

Well, that explains that. Louis shakes hands with all of them and is as polite as can be without showing his distractedness. This morning's news run is on replay in his paranoid subconscious. 

"Where are you from?" They ask when all he is, is silent. 

Mission failed. "Uh- Middleston. I live here."

"Oh, nice. Show us around sometime?"

"Um.....yeah. If you want to."

"Kind of why we asked." DJ laughs. "We're here until Sunday."

"Oh okay." Louis couldn't come up with anything else. 

"So what did you think of the paper?" Daniel is beside Louis against the wall, looking more interested than he should be. 

Louis takes a step to the other side to breathe. "It wasn't hectic, which is always good. You guys?"

"Same. What with MJ's feng shui crap we can't really send out negativity or we certainly will fail and turn into asexual beings." 

"Hey! It isn't crap." MJ - who is shorter than his brother - argues. I actually laugh at them and Daniel's comment. 

"Will you be getting a dorm?" Tracy changes subjects. "We're getting two."

"Don't think so." Louis relaxes his stature and allows himself to get involved in the conversation fully. "Not one for sharing, I am."

"I see. Well you better hurry because there's this apartment complex that's part of campus and it's way better." 

"I'll think about it. Thought those were only for seniors?"

"Nope. You fit the bill, you can have it. Actually, Daniel, why can't we get one of those?"

Her brother sighs, long and drawn out. "Nobody said we couldn't."

At the end of our free hour they're called in to let go of the rejected applicants and send the accepted ones in for interviews. Louis is chosen, and so is every one of his new friends. His phone is still on silent, and now sits on seventeen missed calls. 

The questions flung at him at a joke and Louis conditions himself beforehand to handle them all without a battle. His folder is marked 'Accepted' and he holds in his cheer until he's outside. Tracy, DJ, MJ and Daniel deliver the same news with huge grins and there's a group hug Louis wasn't prepared for. 

"We're celebrating!" Tracy announces. "Tonight."

"Agreed." The twins say. 

"I can't." Louis mutters. "I already have plans."

"Aw." Daniel cooes but it's just mocking. "Sunday night then. No celebrations until Lou can join us."

"Agreed." The twins repeat and receive a slap on the shoulder each. 

Louis giggles while retrieving his phone to call his dad. They've all already exchanged phone numbers in this circle so after quick goodbyes, Louis unlocks his phone. 

He sees the twenty-nine missed calls, all from one terribly concerned individual, and panics all over again. The plastic package with the contents concerning his college, gets shoved into an empty book bag. It starts to rain. 

His dad isn't answering so Louis sits on the stairs and waits. He's getting wet but it doesn't matter. He's always loved the rain. 

His phone vibrates in his pocket, spooking him and almost causing a fall into a puddle of dirtied water. Wiping his screen, Louis hits ignore to Harry's call because he will call Harry back when he's not covered in what is probably acid rain.   
Louis' doubts of the man was still clouding his focus, and maybe causing some immaturity in his behaviour. He should just talk to Harry. They're going out with Louis' friends tonight - or maybe that's not such a bright idea. Maybe Louis should cancel and stay home. 

He was positive Harry had nothing to do with Douglas' death because why would he? Harry seemed temperamental but not.......homicidal. He was being treated for schizophrenia but even then he never came across as a murderer in the slightest. Louis couldn't pin this on him. 

What would this mean for them? Louis doubts he could leave Harry because he's so deep in this, and it didn't feel wrong. He wanted this and he'd believe every word Harry uttered. 

Douglas was out late in the wrong place at the very wrong time. He was attacked and that couldn't be helped. Louis felt crushingly upset by the loss of another person, but it was evened out by the fact that this particular person was a savage. He didn't care about Louis when it counted, only tried keeping Harry away from him. It wasn't fair and Louis knew it, Harry knew it. 

His phone rings again and Louis forfeits this war. He answers by blocking the device from the rain. "Harry?"

"I called you thirty-one times, Lou. I was worried. Why weren't you answering?" 

"I'm sorry. Today was the admissions thing and I was really busy."

"Really? Why didn't you say?"

"I....I forgot until this morning."

Harry laughs and it warms Louis up to the tips of his hair follicles. "Only you are capable of-"

"Did you see the news?" Louis feels like slapping himself. 

"What?"

"The news. Douglas was on it........he was killed."

"Oh. Yeah I saw it. I'm...I wish I was sorry."

Louis pauses. 

"You okay?"

"I'm fine. We broke up."

"Lou? Where are you? It sounds really busy." Harry couldn't care about Douglas' demise even if he tried. 

"Oh. No it's raining."

"What? You're in the rain?"

"Uh.....yeah but-"

"I'm coming to get you. Where are you?"

"I'm fine." He sneezes. "My dad will come."

"It isn't raining here so I didn't think. No, I'll be there faster."

"Harry-"

"Lou. I'm coming to get you."

"Okay." He answers in a small voice. 

"Where do I go?"

"Community centre." Another sneeze. 

"Fucking Hell, Lou."

"Huh?"

"You're sneezing!" 

"Well, I wouldn't be human if I wasn't."

"It must be freezing."

"I've been through worse."

"How? Iceland?"

"Iceland is actually very green. Maybe we can vacation there." Louis slaps a hand over his mouth in surprise. 

Harry chuckles on his end, already halfway to the community centre. "I'm on my way."

"Don't you wanna know how my admission thingy went?"

"The cold makes you loopy, I see. Yes, I do want to know but I'd prefer to hear in it person. Stop pouting."

Louis didn't know he was. "I'm cold."

Harry stops smiling and feels a tugging in his chest. He wanted to be there with Louis, hold him to rejuvenate the warmth. "I'm sorry, babe. I'm right there."

"You said that an hour ago!"

"You weren't answering my calls an hour ago." Harry throws back just as he pulls up in front of the shivering boy. 

"Took you long enough."

"Don't went my car." Harry says when Louis opens the door and finally hangs up. 

Louis sticks his tongue out at him before climbing in. "Did you have to get the tallest car?"

"You're just tiny and adorable."

"Giant." Louis leans across the console to kiss Harry on the lips because his were cold. 

"You really are freezing."

A chill runs up Louis' back to reinforce the comment. "Y-Yup."

"Wear this." Harry gives him a clean sweater and pair of sweats from the back. 

"Do you have Oreos?" Louis teases Harry's stash. 

Harry rolls his eyes at the boy and waits for him to change. "Don't look at me when I'm vulnerable, Harold!"

Harry scoffs and turns the other way while Louis clumsily changes clothing. His underwear is still wet but it'll have to do. He wishes he wore socks especially today. After folding the cuffs of Harry's extra long pants and hiding as much as he can in the woollen sweater that he's already drowning in, he puts his wet clothes on the floor in the back. 

"I'm done." He announces. 

"Took you long enough." Harry exaggerates by massaging his neck. "Warmer now?"

"Yes. Thank you." Louis blushes and kisses Harry's cheek. 

"Hmm. You can sit here, for body warmth and all that." Harry suggests. 

"Where?"

"Really?"

Louis understood but he liked making Harry nervous. It was cute. 

"On my lap, Lou."

"That's breaking a rule of the road."

"The seats are leather and will be cold. Not worth it."

"Okay." Louis makes sure the car is off and they can't roll off into Neverland before crawling towards Harry. 

He has never curled up in a person's lap while they drove so he tried to make himself as small as possible against Harry's chest. His bare feet were near blue and he tucked them under Harry's thighs for warming up. 

"Better?" Harry kisses his forehead. 

"Yeah." Louis is comfortable enough to fall asleep. "How will I repay you?"

"Love me?" 

"Maybe." 

Harry pulls Louis closer, away from the steering wheel. "Lou."

"I love you." Louis kisses Harry's neck. "You're a maniac but I love you."

"You're a koala but I love you."

Louis hums against him and closes his eyes. Harry's burns has long since turned to simple scars that will take a lot of effort to reopen. He didn't feel the pain too much anymore except when his light dosage of painkillers wore off. 

"How did the admissions go?" Harry asks before Louis slips under completely. 

"I got accepted." Louis mumbles. 

"Really?" Harry smiles widely. "I'm so proud of you."

"Ew you sound like my dad. You're not my dad."

"I'm still proud of, babe." Harry kisses all of Louis' available skin. "I know you really wanted this."

"I did. There are these apartment stuff we can buy too." 

Harry laughs and turns back to driving. "Sleep and we'll talk about it later, love."

Louis does fall asleep when Harry turns off the radio, lost in the planning of a clear future and all the horrid complications of the past and present alike being forgotten. Douglas' death leaves his worry area and Louis realises that all it took was actually seeing Harry to remove the doubts. Harry would never hurt Louis.


	23. Chapter 23

_I just want to wake up every morning with your love._

***LOUIS' POV***

I'm awakened from a neck-stiffening slumber by gentle shakes to my shoulder. 

"Lou?" A rough but caressing voice filters my foggy mind. 

"No." I mumble groggily, rolling over to the other side to hopefully escape this sleeping intrusion. The only result is a loud hooter and cackle from Harry. 

"What the-" I sit up, realising that I'm in Harry's lap and his laugh is cut short when I make a sharp swivelling movement. 

"You kept me in here for ten minutes." Harry clears his throat. "You sleep like the dead."

"Sorry." I yawn, covering my hand with a baggy sweater paw. "Where are we?"

"My home." He kisses my forehead. "I kinda need to change my bandages before going anywhere else."

"Oh. I'm so sorry." I unlock the door behind me and almost go tumbling out if Harry hadn't caught my elbow. 

"I can wait for you to fully be able to walk, Lou." 

I nod and stand on my own attention, swaying a bit by the influence of rushing blood to my brain and nerves. They tingle uncomfortably for a bit, relaxing the coming pins and needles in my feet before- I'd forgotten that I was bare foot and had no dry shoes. 

"Ugh." I groan, shifting little by little as my weight favours one half of my body. 

"Lou!" Harry catches my arm and saves me - again - from an infinite death by falling. "Should I carry you?"

"No. I have to greet your parents."

"No one's home."

"Huh?" 

He laughs and lowers his lips to my ear, securing my faulty hips with his large palms. "The house is empty and it isn't raining."

"Oh." I yawn again. I was really tired and I haven't physically strained myself all that much. "Need to call Dad."

"You can from inside, when I'm sure the wind won't knock you over."

"Mmm 'kay."

"Lou?"

"What?"

"You need to move."

"Where?" I whine with slumped shoulders. 

"Carry you?"

"I'm heavy."

"Not to me." He effortlessly picks me up off the ground and holds me close to his chest where I yawn again. 

"Show off."

"Baby." He chuckles, smiling against the back of my palm. "My baby."

"'M not a baby, Harold."

"Not to anyone else."

"I like your neck." 

Harry kicks open the door and I let out a surprised little noise at the sudden burst. He laughs and shields me from the oncoming gate screen. 

"My neck?" We're going up the stairs now and I look around curiously at the passing wallpaper and windows. 

"Hmm. It's warm. You're warm." 

"I am?"

"Yup. You're like a human space heater."

"That bad, huh?" 

We arrive at the third door from the beginning of the staircase and everything is so dead silent. It borders on creepy, the way nothing moves or creaks. The wind is strong outside and sometimes there's a tap on a glass pane. 

"Is this your room?" I ask when I'm set on my feet and no longer wobbling. 

"Yeah." 

There's a massive bed - I've always loved massive beds - against a window and looks very tempting to sleep in. It could be like micro-foam or something. 

"I'll go get this done then." Harry says, tossing his phone onto the mattress. He goes into the attached bathroom, past the closet, and I hear the tap running. 

I approach the bed and see Harry's phone amongst the rumbled sheets. Bending to pick it up with the intention of calling my father to ensure him I'm alive and well, my toe gets stubbed against something solid that creates echoing friction against the wooden flooring when it slides. 

***NARRATOR'S POV***

Harry strips himself down to just boxers and re does the unattractive bandages on his chest, listening to Louis' faint movements in his room. He doesn't pick up much and grows nervous. 

Louis crouches low enough to steal a glimpse at under Harry's bed, having to shove aside the navy blue comforter first. Suddenly the tap goes off and Louis hurries to straightens himself. He can't be caught snooping. 

Harry comes back in, all his bandages redone and the gun remains hidden. "Louis?"

"I left my phone in your car." Louis explains hurriedly. 

"Oh. You can use mine then."

"Thanks. Did you take your medication?" He asks, dialling his father and listening to it ring. 

Harry flops down like a starfish on the bed and Louis is sure he heard the floor protest loudly. 

His dad picks up. "Hello?"

"Dad, it's me." Louis says. "You don't have to pick me up from the community centre. Harry did."

"Harry?"

"Yeah. He was in the area."

"Oh alright. You'll be home......."

"Not too late, I promise. Oh! But Zayn invited me out tonight with everyone. Can I go?"

"Of course. Don't even know why you still ask. Yeah, just don't wake up the street when you get home."

"Alright. Thank you. Bye, Dad."

"Bye."

Louis hangs up and puts the phone down carefully on Harry's bedside table, just in time for Harry grab his waist and pull him down onto the bed. He goes giggling, having Harry's trackies lowered a little by the force. 

"Oye!" Louis exclaims, reaching an arm behind him to tug the clothing back up and guard his modesty. 

Harry smiles lazily, letting the corners of his mouth twitch. Both boys are star fished out across the bed, spread out to take up as much unoccupied space as their single individuals could. Harry slings an arm across Louis' behind, his incredibly large bicep managing to completely conceal and be cushioned by it. 

"So are we still on for tonight?" Harry traces untidy shapes on Louis' hips, driving little shivers and nervous chills up the smaller lad's spine. 

"Yeah." Louis drops his shorter arm on Harry's firm chest. There were little goosebumps on his skin, where the large placement of his heart should be. Louis laughs under his breath. "Tarzan."

Harry sticks out his lower lip and squeezes Louis' meaty hip, yanking him closer and closer by the inch. When Louis' within the perfect radius, Harry bends to kiss Louis languidly. Louis feels a tickle on his upper lip and chin, pulling away much too soon. 

"Your facial hair's beginning to present itself." Louis teases, bringing his arm up to Harry's neck. He can feel Harry's strong pulse under his fingertips like a steady drum rhythm. 

Harry grunts and lurches forward again, knocking Louis off his risen elbow and dragging him to lie under Harry's body. Harry's weight drops to Louis' until the shorter boy feels that moving is impossible. Louis threads his fingers through Harry's wild locks, holding on tightly so there can't be more than a page's width distance difference between them. 

The kiss starts out sweet and between gentility or mindless lip-locking, however escalating to something more desperate and needy when Harry harshly bites Louis' lips, prying them apart with his tongue. Harry traces the roof of Louis' mouth, feeling Louis easily give in to the battle. 

"Lou." Harry chants Louis' name into his ear with little somethings of sweetness. His lead arms circle Louis' shoulders and haul him up onto Harry's folded lap. 

Harry's hands lower to continue kneading Louis' precious behind while he gets little even massages of his scalp by dainty hands. Harry's moans reflect Louis' quieter ones against each other's mouths that are so close together it feels like they're shot gunning plain air. Harry forces Louis' thighs apart and astride his own lap, making a grab for Louis' sweater and lifting it off him. 

"Not all the way." Harry pants, nipping at Louis' ear lobe. 

Louis whines because he loved getting this kind of attention, and knowing beforehand that Harry won't go all the way with him is a little off-putting. 

"Not today, my love." Harry delivers another disgusting open-mouthed kiss that neither partner seem to be annoyed with. "But we will."

At that, Louis moans and let's Harry expose his neck to be ravaged with bites and sucking. Once Harry is satisfied with the red complexion of Louis' once pale skin, he rolls his hips against Louis' and receives a delicious little whimper from those thin lips. 

Harry does it again, revelling in the amazing response he's getting from a flustered Louis. He's still kneeling between Louis' legs, rolling his crotch forward to meet Louis' and watching how the boy's tiny hands grip the sheets so tightly that his knuckles turn page white. 

"Oh God." Louis gasps, trying to meet Harry's thrusts even through the tangle of pants. 

Harry understands and pulls off both their trousers, leaving very obscenely tented underwear in the open. Louis opens his eyes, staring at Harry and making grabby hands at the man until he's looming over him. 

"N-No." Louis weakly pushes Harry's shoulder. "Touch me."

"Yeah. Can I?" Harry let's their lips roam Louis' body without direction. 

"P-Please."

Harry reaches between their squeezed bodies and tugs on the waistband of Louis' boxers until they give. His calloused fingers wrap around Louis' semi and trace the little veins he knows to be present. Louis falls apart under Harry as his tugs get more synchronised and he nips not-so-gently at Louis' chin. 

Little 'uh uh uh' sounds come out between pressured breaths from Louis' mouth and Harry is already fantasising about him at his mercy. Harry squeezes Louis' length enough for it to be generously arousing and pushes his thumb between the slit at the head. 

Louis immediately bucks his hips into the air, grabbing Harry's curls and pulling him into a loosely termed kiss. Harry takes such pleasure in seeing Louis' untamed expression and thrashing around whenever Harry drove him undeniably close to the edge. 

"Fuck Lou." Harry releases Louis and lowers his hand to untouched territory between his cheeks. "You're so- _fuck._ So pretty. Want to do everything with you."

His precise priority is to make sure Louis is comfortable and pleasured, so he carefully slips a finger flush against Louis' rim. Louis nearly cries out and grasps Harry's forearm digging his nails into the muscle from the radiating shocks of perfection. 

"Not good?" Harry changes the angle by encircling Louis' waist and resuming the slow rubbing of the fluttering muscle ring. 

"Uh. N-No." Louis stammers. 

"Want me to stop?" Harry continues rolling his hips forward, creating friction between their now bare crotches and driving Louis mad with the attention to his hole. 

"No!" Louis' body gets confused between grinding forward or backward. "Don't-t sto-op."

Harry smirks smugly, distracting Louis with a long thrust so that he can enter a finger in Louis. Louis' eyes go wide and he holds onto Harry with such pressure he's sure that he's drawing blood. 

He's reminded that he kept his finger dry, which must be uncomfortable for Louis. He retracts it and listens to Louis' whine at the emptiness. Wetting another finger by tapping Louis' swollen lips and making him suck, he prepares to return to his previous activity. 

"Good?" Harry pumps his middle finger in and out of Louis with such furious energy he thinks Louis' moans were that of pain. 

"Y-Yeah." Louis is lost to sobriety as he mindlessly follows Harry's ministrations. 

"Another?" Harry breathes down Louis' sweaty neck, brushing away little droplets of sweat from the pink skin. "Stretch you out so well."

Louis moans at Harry's seductive words, letting his climax ride closer and closer as Harry's fingers fuck relentlessly into him. "H-Harry....Harry- _oh God!"_

Harry adds his index finger to the mix and wastes no time in speeding up the thrusting motions until Louis is groaning and whimpering from the threat of a violent release. His mind is foggy and he bites Harry's bottom lip for balance. His hand mindlessly fumbles for Harry's waist, sliding against his hips to grab Harry's prick. Harry's breath hitches momentarily before resuming what he was doing. 

Louis is blinded when a certain magnificent spot is discovered within his walls and crumbles in Harry's arms. Harry is moving at a sinfully fast pace, forcing them to their ends. The new pressure on Louis' prostate makes him see white and let go all over his own tummy, messing himself and Harry in sticky white ropes.   
His body sags into the mattress as Harry sucks a blossoming love bite into his throat. The skin is damp with sweat and warm in a perfect manner. 

Harry is so close that his blocked from seeing anything other than using Louis' body for his own release. Louis let's him, still holding Harry's painfully hard length and lazily pumping it in his small palm. He regains enough will-power to put some effort into it, and grows desperate from the look of pure ecstasy on Harry's face. 

"Oh." Harry throws his head back, leaving Louis to stare at his Adam's Apple. 

Everything about Harry was powerful and lean, dark and oh so alluring for a fragile individual like Louis. Louis felt that if they had the time, Louis would fall in love with Harry everyday because there was so much to love and be infatuated with. 

Louis felt himself hardening all over again, unable to control the homoerotic desire that floated between them in strained breaths and untimely gasps. He wanted Harry to own him in all of his perfection, with every detailed beauty of Harry's, he wanted to have a fair balanced feature of his that would equate their union. He wanted them together in so many ways, and Harry would never deny Louis anything. Ever.   
He'd burn himself on the sun for Louis and crawl across splintered wood. His dying breath would be for the boy he's dreamt about and wanted since he could think. 

"H-Harry." Louis stops pumping his hand, causing Harry to groan and try to regain that attention. 

"Harry." Louis interlocks their fingers and kisses Harry sweetly. In the midst, he guides Harry's member to his already abused hole. "Harry please."

"Lou." Harry deepens the kiss but holds himself a safe distance from entering Louis. "My lovely Lou."

"Please." Louis begs, gripping onto him tighter. "Have me. Please make me yours."

"Louis. I can't."

And Louis has tears rolling down his cheeks. "You don't want me?"

"My baby." Harry stops Louis from pulling away. "I do. I want you more than anything."

"Then please _take me._ "

"I will." Harry kisses all over Louis' face. "I will. I give you my word that one day you'll belong to me in every deal."

"But not now?"

Harry presses their foreheads together. "Not today. I want....I want it to be perfect when we do."

"Okay." Louis thinks his answer is fair and is a little happy knowing Harry won't take advantage of him even though he very clearly asked.

Harry rounds his hips to regain the effort from Louis' hand that's unable to wrap around his girth completely. Louis slides his hand with the help of developing and leaking pre-come, and he's never felt so flattered by turning on a man of Harry's calibre so much. It makes him try harder, and shifts the foreskin in a way that makes Harry collapse onto him like a ton of bricks, his load shooting out into Louis' hand and onto his tummy. 

Their mingled breaths are ragged and rundown, so no words are spoken until it's evened out again. 

"Lou?" Harry flops down on his back while Louis remains very still. 

"Hmm?"

"What time do we have to meet your friends?"

Louis laughs. "Don't know. Seven I think."

Harry gets off the bed to fetch a flannel from the bathroom, using the warm cloth to wipe himself and Louis down until there's only clean, drying skin in it's wake. 

"C'mere." Harry opens his arms for Louis to crawl into, watching him yawn and curl into a tiny ball on Harry's chest. "Love me?"

Louis smiles and kisses Harry's chest. "So needy."

Harry pokes Louis' side and kisses his forehead close to twelve times. "Do you?"

"Yes." Louis leans up to kiss him. "And your manly chest hair."

Harry chuckles against Louis' red lips. "I love you, and your gorgeous bum."

Louis blushes profusely, hiding his face now in the crook of his own arm. 

"Louis?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay? You know, that we didn't.....go all the way."

"I'm okay." Louis smiles up at the older man. "I guess I just thought you didn't want me at all and I was kind of upset."

"No, babe. I do want you. I wish I could have just ravished you but it would have so much better if we waited."

Louis nods. "Wait for what?"

"London, maybe. I have something to tell you about London."

"What?" Louis wiggles until he's able to fully face Harry. 

"I got a job there."

"Really?" Louis beams. "What kind of job?"

"Working for an old friend of mine."

"What about college?"

"What about it?"

"Don't you want to go?"

"The job pays really well and it'll only get higher. Don't really need college."

"Oh."

"If you are still willing to put up with me, we can start looking for apartments since we don't have that much time left."

"I do, and it's less than a month. I already saw one I really like."

"Is it close to your campus?"

"Aha." 

Louis didn't mean the on-campus apartments that were recently made available to coming students. Harry couldn't live with him if he chose to, and that wouldn't be too good. 

"Show me pictures after we nap, okay?" Harry hugs Louis close when they roll onto their sides so they're spooning. 

"Alright."


	24. Chapter 24

_I've fallen in love with a monster, and he is in love with me._

***LOUIS' POV***

Harry had thrown my pants, shoes - I have no idea how that worked out - and shirt into the dryer for a quick cleaning. We're waiting patiently in the basement where the two machines stand side-by-side, as one tumbles on loudly. I'm wearing all borrowed clothing except for my boxers: Harry's printed T-shirt so he is left shirtless and his extra large socks that leave much room at the front for my toes to fill. 

The dryer is said to take a reasonable time of thirty minutes tops, especially since there is no rinse cycle involved. Neither of us were hungry, so we settled on a friendly game of naughts and crosses on the backsides of discarded papers. 

The score was in Harry's favour, since he was sure to stand painfully close with his chest to my back and an arm around my middle. It was distracting, and made me lose every round thus far. 

"Harold, no cheating." I try and fail to push him away. 

He just drops both arms onto my shoulders, making them slump and chuckle mercilessly into my ear. The man was an animal. 

"Your turn." He whispers in a voice so inappropriate for such a game. 

He was O and I was X, except having the cooler letter of the alphabet stood for nothing when you were losing like I was. I concentrate on the board and not Harry's thrumming heartbeat against my scapula, the tip of my tongue sticking out a little from the corner of my mouth. 

I place my X at the left corner and occupy the second black spot. Harry takes the pen and places one on the opposite corner. It goes on until I finally get one point for winning. 

Another court is drawn and I get the first try. I win this one too and am beginning to suspect Harry's slacking on purpose. 

"Harold, are you letting me win?" I take the pen from him. 

"Nope." He rests his head on my shoulder. "The clothes will be a while. What say you to a shower?"

"I don't share." I escape his warm embrace and head up the stairs. "Keep up, Harold!"

I hear Harry's laughter as he follows behind me up into his room again. This time we ignore the bed and I go straight into the bathroom, latching it at the top to keep Harry outside. 

"Lou." His fist collides with the door, no violent threat behind it. "Lemme in."

"You just want to see me naked." I call from turning on the hot water. 

"Definitely."

I fake gasp in horror. "I'm not that easy."

"Do I wait out here then? I really don't want to."

"Is it lonely?"

"It is actually."

"I won't be long."

"You're a cruel man, Louis Tomlinson."

"But you still love me."

"That I do. Are you hungry?"

"Um...no, I'm fine."

"Okay. Do you have a towel in there?"

I look around the small space and come back empty. With a nervous bite to my bottom lip, I answer. "Can't see one."

"I have one."

I roll my eyes and go to unlock the door, getting to see Harry standing tall and smug on the other side. He has a towel in one hand, making no attempt at handing it over to me. 

"Can I come in?" He holds the towel up when I try to grab it. 

"Ugh. Fine." I relent, letting him enter and turning around to give the shower my attention again. 

My shower takes less than ten minutes, and Harry sits on the closed toilet lid all the while. We talk about absolute crap like the latest episode of Spongebob - a show he has never watched before which is just injustice. Harry goes to fetch my dried clothes from the basement just before I climb out, and he reluctantly hands them over. 

"You know I'm practically wearing all your clothes, right?" I have my back to the bathroom door while I change in the bedroom. 

"Even better." He pitches up right behind me, kissing my neck once before stepping away. 

I try to control my wild blushing as I put on the clothing. It's my black skinny jeans but Harry's massive sweater. It's warm and fluffy enough to fall asleep in, sans the slight itch that came with the jeans. 

Harry doesn't speak while he showers and I wait on his bed for him to step out. When he does it's with a large towel around his waist and dripping wet hair. I kept from wetting my hair since I didn't feel like drying and setting it now, the dishevelled state it was in could not be helped either. 

"You look cute." He comments, browsing through the outfit choices in his closet. 

I scrunch up my nose at his comment. "Cute."

"Yes, cute. You're adorable." 

He chooses an outfit that I never thought I'd see him in. The tightest possible jeggings with a tank top that left none of his upper body hidden, and a sort of emerald green trench coat completes the look. He also puts on dark brown dress shoes that make his attire all the more confusing. A beanie is on his head to match his shoes. 

"Those don't match." I say with a sceptical frown. 

"What?" He looks over his current clothing like nothing's wrong with it. 

"A tank top and trench coat?"

"And?"

"It's freezing outside."

"That's what the coat's for." He walks over to me, leaning forward to bump our noses together. "And you."

"Idiot." I grab hold of both sides of his head and grin widely to reflect him. 

"How could you love me, right?" He kisses the tip of my nose. 

"No. I know how I could." I wrestle out of his hold, standing on my feet - that are now protected with my own pair of floral Vans. "What time is it?"

"Um....almost six."

"That's early."

"Yeah. Your parents don't expect you home right now, do they?"

"Nope. Why?"

"Remember that carnival date I promised you?"

"Yeah."

"Well, there's a carnival in town tonight. Think you're up for it?"

"Really?" I smile so wide my cheeks hurt. "Right now?"

"Yeah, right now. It's opening night so the best things will be up tonight."

"I wanna go. Let's go." I grab his hand with both of mine and start leading him to the door. 

Harry is on the verge of bursting from laughter, but follows me without argument to his car. I climb into the passenger seat and he gets in on the driver's side after closing my door. 

"Gentleman." I lean across the console to press a sweet kiss on Harry's dimpled cheek. "Love you."

"Mmm. Missed a spot." He faces me, index pointing to his plump signature lips. Without skipping a beat I hold my lips to his for a brief moment. 

"So where's the carnival?"

"It's a little out of town because the grounds are huge, I heard."

"Oh. Will we be back in time?"

"Maybe a maximum of ten minutes late."

"I can live with that."

The drive took thirteen minutes from Harry's house, since we'd supposedly taken a short cut somewhere between the freeway and a rural off ramp. The grounds are bigger than any I've seen, and it lies between the next county and us. 

Harry insists on paying for the tickets because he says this date was his idea, and I have no say in the matter. The attractive thing about this festival is that there's a lake down at the far end of all the lights, so if I could convince Harry maybe we'll go there. 

"What do we do first?" Harry takes my hand in his, locking his long fingers with mine and I cuddle up to his side. The wind is quite strong in an open field, and I have nothing on under my sweater. 

"Not the merry-go-round. It's too high." I stare at the large contraption, horrified of being at the very top and finding out that there has been a malfunction. 

"Aw. But I want to go." He drapes an arm over my shoulders. It could have been for warmth, or the bunch of teenage boys that are rowdy enough for the rest of us. 

"You can, I'll just wait over there." I point to the ticket collector and he laughs. 

"Alright. How about candy floss first?"

"Yes!" I'm already searching for the related booth nearby and spot one not too far away with a red and white striped tent. "There!"

Harry gets a medium green one and I secretly wish Phoebe was here because she loved to watch the machine work its magic. 

"It tastes like bubblegum." I say above the chatter of everyone else. 

He raises an eyebrow at me to question my reasoning, so I break off a little bit of the sweet fluff to feed him. He cheekily licks the excess sugar off my fingers before giving me my hand back. 

"What about that teacup thing?" He shouts in the direction of a new ride I haven't seen before. 

"Those are sea shells!" I feel the candy rush kick in, fuelling my constant flow of giggles. 

"What about 'em then? Wanna go?" He holds out his arm for me to loop mine through. 

After watching one spin on the sea shell ride, I'm ready to go because the sugar has me pumped and ready. Harry had smartly bought enough tickets to stuff his trench coat's pockets with so we weren't short. 

We get the green shell, and I point out that it matches Harry's coat. He looks at me with an amused expression before pulling back the metal security bar and securing our place. 

"You alright?" He asks when the ride kicks up and we're being slowly moved around in slanted angles. 

"I have a bad feeling about this." I clutch the candy floss with monstrous strength, leading to it all hardening and melting in the packet. 

The ride was a terror and although Harry seemed neutral, I was never going near that thing again. At the end, I practically ran off the platform and away from the perimeter of that machine. 

"It wasn't that bad." Harry throws the candy floss away. "I liked it."

"It was terrifying!" I hold onto the bin because I was a little dizzy. 

"Was not." He kisses my temple. "I could carry you the rest of the way."

"I'm fine. The go-carts are next and I'm going to kick your ass for making me go on that shell ride."

Harry is left standing at the bin, a bit confused when I bolt in the direction of the race track. It's set up with hay stacks and I'm excited to go in the next free race. I've never lost at this. 

"Lou." Harry comes up behind me. "You can't go running off."

"Sorry." I peck his lips twice with an innocent flutter of my eyelashes before leading him to the entrance. 

It cost us twenty tickets and we finally got in, my car was number two and Harry's was three. He was unsure about this race, I knew it because he begged me to ride with him. I said no because I had a clear intention to beat him. 

The flag flew and all twelve carts took off in the direction of a swirling race track to the finish line. Harry got close to me, but the lane could only fit one cart so I managed to win and got a little medal of milk chocolate. 

"Well done, babe." Harry congratulates me after I'm rewarded for my victory. We even high five, that ends in our fingers being locked together tightly. 

"I heard they're doing photos with an anaconda." I say, breaking my medal in half and giving Harry half.

"You want to go?" 

"I can?"

"If you want to."

"I want to."

"Then go."

"I will." 

The snake photography area is busy enough to have us standing in a short line. When it's my turn I ask Harry to come but he says he'll just be there to take a photo. 

The extremely heavy reptile hangs around my shoulders and it's mass is swallowing me up already. Luckily, the zoo keeper who has an official badge helps me get it around me without falling. Harry's face is passive throughout the entire experience, and flinches everytime I do. He even steps forward once when I hiss from a slight pinch on my shoulder, but composes himself when I smile at him in reassurance. 

I get three photos that we have to pay for separately, and Harry does that against my wishes. 

"Harry!" My voice may have come out as more of a squeal but nobody needs to know that. 

"Love?" He tucks his wallet away and retakes my hand. "You smell like fish."

"What? Shut up. Harry, they have a haunted house!"

"In December?"

"Yes." I drag out the 's' sound. "It starts at the end of the forest and goes a little bit inside to this tunnel where we come out by the doughnuts tent. Can we go?"

"To a haunted tunnel?" 

"Please." I use the leverage of his broad shoulder to lift myself up and kiss his cheek. 

"Will you go on the ferris wheel with me?" 

"No!"

"Then no."

"Aw, Harry. I don't like ferris wheels."

"I don't like haunted tunnels."

"Are you scared?" 

"No."

"Fine. I'll go alone." I turn around to walk away but he has me held firmly by my hip. 

"Alright I'll go. Come with me on the ferris wheel."

"What if we die?"

"On a ferris wheel?"

"Yes."

"We won't, Lou."

"How can you be so sure?" 

"I just am. Did you ever taste sugar cane juice?"

"Nope."

"You should. Hold on." We stop at a small tent to get one clear cup of a greenish-brown juice with a lemon slice. 

I look up at Harry quizzically when he hands it to me. "Taste it."

"It looks like mud."

"It isn't. Come on, try it."

"Fine." I take a sip from the straw and actually enjoy the overly sweet taste of the sugar cane with a hint of sour zest from the lemon. "I like it."

"Knew you would." He winks at me as we walk away. "It's a long walk to the forest."

"Don't be lazy."

"I was going to ask if you wanted me to carry you but-"

"Yes please." I immediately stop walking. "I'm really tired and my legs hurt."

"You're a terrible liar."

"But you love me anyway."

He gives a crooked grin before leaning down to kiss me innocently because we're in public and there are little kids around. 

"Hop on." He turns around in front of a vacant bench so I can get on his back easily. 

"This is fun." I proclaim, offering Harry a sip from the juice by tapping his lips with the black straw. 

"Because you aren't carrying another human." He accepts the offer nonetheless. 

"I love you." I tighten my arms around his neck. "Thank you for tonight. All of it."

"I love you, babe." He turns his head at an awkward angle for us to kiss. "And as long as you're happy, I'm happy."

"Sap." 

"And you still love me."

The edge of the forest comes and I can see a few people waiting to collect tickets or cash for access to the haunted tunnel. There are weird sound effects in action that are making the hairs on my nap stand up, and Harry straighten up into a threatening position. 

I get down and hold Harry's hand when we greet the bloody farmer at the entrance who takes our money. Horror movies never scared me so how bad can this be?

"The trick is to close your eyes." Harry tells me afterwards, when my shivers are under control. 

"You had your eyes closed?" 

"No. They just didn't scare me."

"I didn't like that they popped out of everywhere and tried to touch me."

"I know." He sighs. "Me too."

Harry is the worst possible person to go through anything haunted with, all he does is try to not the shit out of the fake zombies that get too close. 

"You're cold." He says, removing his beanie. 

His hair is untidy and a little flat from being under the head garment for so long. He turns me around to face him, making the hat fit snugly on my head. His nose is a little red and he squints to see when the wind is too strong, making me itch to stretch up and kiss him into feeling warm. So I do. 

"Mmm." He licks his lips and draws me into the folds of his coat. "Better."

"Harry?" I see the little white wisps of air that escape each time we breathe. 

"Yeah, Lou?"

"I really want doughnuts."

He shakes his head and allows me to lead the way. I choose a tray with three vanilla, dark chocolate and caramel. Harry wants real food - whatever that is - and buys this Indian half loaf with curry inside from a stall next to the Dunky Doughnuts one. 

We sit at a wooden bench and Harry orders me to sit on his lap or die of frostbite. I don't fancy purple toes so I oblige and lean into the safety and warmth of Harry's hold. 

"You didn't get a fork?" Harry mocks my method of eating with two fingers. 

"I like eating like this, Harold. Don't laugh at me." 

He unwraps the paper that covers his food and my eyes go wide at the smell of Indian food. It's been my weakness since it was discovered that I could handle spicy food. 

"Want some?" Harry clearly saw me staring. 

"No, it's yours." 

"And I want to share it." 

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah. Okay."

"Koala." He grins to reveal his dimples. 

"You love this koala."

"And don't you forget it."

He does end up splitting his food with me, because I keep stealing bit of bread and curry when he was distracted. I refused to let him feed me because I wasn't a toddler but he openly allowed me to put bits of chocolate covered doughnuts in his mouth. 

"Where's that sugar cane juice stall? We need more of that." I say, not at all ignoring Harry's splayed out fingers on my thigh. 

"Over there. We'll get some on our way out." Harry squashes all the paper and plastic cutlery before dumping it in a bin. 

"Tired?" He asks when we both stand. 

"Yeah." I yawn, trying to conceal it with my hand. 

"We still have to meet your friends."

"Oh yeah." I yawn even wider now. "That."

Harry chuckles. "We can cancel. Go another day."

"No. I can't do that. We'll go- shit!"

"What?"

"I don't the keys to my house so I'm locked out."

"The problem?"

"I'm a hobo, is the problem." 

"You aren't. You can stay with me for the night."

"Yeah?"

"Of course. Anything else you want to do?"

"What? Getting tired?"

"No, that's you."

"Oye! Watch it, Styles. Come on, you didn't even win me a teddy bear yet!"

Once again, Harry allows me to drag him over to the busiest stall with toy guns and towers of metal cans. His goal is to hit all the tins down from one pile in order to win the stuffed animal of his choice.   
Harry takes the rifle gun and aims it at the target like this match is do or die. Maybe it is because I _really_ want a teddy bear to take home. 

He hits it on point and I hold myself back from clapping, because who knew he had such perfect aim? I smile a brilliant smile - enough for it to hurt - as he chooses the grey koala. 

"Aw. He's perfect." I coo, taking the toy in my arms and hugging Harry around the middle. "Thank you."

"It was my pleasure." He bends to kiss me for maybe the hundredth time in six hours but I think I'll never get tired of kissing Harry. "I love you, my Koala."

"Love you too, darling Harold."

We decide that if we're going to make it back in time - though we weren't kidding anyone because we were already an hour late - we had to leave. But there was a temporary tattoo parlour close to the exit and we both went in to get temporary tattoos. 

The ink was apparently the latest bit of tattoo technology, and would come off after eight months. Harry wasn't too happy with that but went along anyway because I was a coward and wouldn't get a real tattoo - like he already had many of.   
We got H&L written in each other's handwriting - after Harry negotiated with the ink master. Harry had his on his chest, above his heart, and Harry put mine on my hip where nobody sees but him on occasion. 

It stung a lot and I sometimes wanted to stop, but sucked it up because Harry was there to encourage me. We finally left at 20h15, and I fell asleep in the car on our trip back into town.


	25. Chapter 25

_You're still in my head, forever stuck._

***LOUIS' POV***

Somebody's shaking my shoulder, and although it is a gentle form of rousing me from my sleep, I have no desire to open my eyes. I was tired even yawning seemed to add to the exhaustion, the insides of my eyelids felt like they were that of sandpaper as well. 

"Lou?" It's Harry's devilishly endearing voice. "Babe, wake up."

"Harold. Let me sleep."

"Louis, we're in my car and your friends won't appreciate me showing up without you."

"Huh?"

"Aren't we meeting your friends tonight?"

"Oh. Forgot."

"Yeah. Do you not want to go?"

"I wanna cuddle." I whine. "I'm tired."

"Let's just go say hello to them at least. When we're in London you'll miss them."

"I will." I admit lazily. "Okay. Where do we have to go?"

"I was hoping you'd know."

"Oh yeah. Mikky D's place, for food."

"Alright." Harry turns his attention back to the road my shoulders slump to make way for my heavy head. 

"You can't be _that_ tired already, Lou." Harry keeps his voice low when stopping at a red light. 

"But I am." I yawn to emphasise my point when really it was just the point of a lucky coincidence. 

"We're here." He announces after drawing back the hand brake. "Let's go."

"Hmm."

"Lou."

"Hmm." My eyes are closed and unable to be lifted, my head lolled to the opposite side facing the buildings. 

"We can't let your friends down in there."

"Alright." I relent, opening my eyes and fumbling with the lock. It doesn't budge. "Harry."

"Hold on." He jumps off and comes around to open my door like the insistent gentleman he is. 

"You child-locked me in?" I accuse, crossing my arms over my chest after dismounting. It was chilly out here without a car heater. 

"Couldn't have you tripping over nothing." He drapes a supportive arm over my shoulders with a little squeeze to assert his presence. 

The small take-away joint is lit up in Mikky's signature shades of yellow and blue. Liam getting a job here was the sheer luck of his father, who used the chance to get his son out of juvenile. Yeah, I hung out with hooligans but they were some of the best mates someone like me could have. 

I open the door with a shove to the rusty handle, leaving a loud scratching noise to silence everyone who was already inside awaiting our arrival impatiently.   
Zayn, Marie and Niall are at one table while Liam is standing behind Zayn with a passive look on his face. 

"Bloody Hell!" Zayn exclaims first thing. "Where ya been? I thought you'd skipped town or- And who's this?"

All eyes turn to us, then narrow on Harry who doesn't seem affected by the attention. I stifle a yawn and remove Harry's arm from my shoulders, only to pull him with me to the table. 

"Nice to see you too, Zayn." I smile brilliantly. "Everyone, this is Harold. You get to call him Harry."

I don't get to see Harry's reaction through the shifty introduction, and he doesn't pull up a seat next to me when I hoist myself up onto the table. It was high enough to stop me from touching the ground but I never bothered about that because it felt cool to have no restrictions when I swung my legs. 

Zayn is still his studious and brooding self. "I know you. Harry Styles, yes?"

"That's me." Harry does smile but it isn't for the purpose of winning anyone over. 

I beg Zayn with urgent glances and indiscreet glares to not poke anymore, to drop the subject and quit the prodding. Zayn, Marie, Niall and I were together when we witnessed Harry's arrest. I knew Zayn would take his overprotectiveness to a whole new level if he got an incorrect response from Harry. 

Zayn sighs and so do I. "I'm Zayn. That's my sister, Marie."

"Nice to meet you." She smiles at him and he nods out of courtesy. 

"Niall."

"Ahoy." Niall lifts his Coke cup from the table in greeting. Harry nods. 

"And Liam."

"Welcome." Liam gives a small wave. 

"What are we doing tonight? We've been waiting since birth for these two." Niall complains, drowning the final remnants of his cup before annihilating it in a punch to the table. 

"Bars probably just opened." Liam suggests. 

"They're putting the tree up tonight. We should stop there." Marie puts in. 

"Actually, they should be done now. Let's do the tree first." Zayn says. "Remember that new place, Niall?"

"What new place?" I enquire. 

"Yeah. What new place?" Niall echoes. 

"The one with the open paint area." Zayn explains. "Not too far from the tree, actually. We could walk there."

"But we gotta drive to the tree." Liam states. 

"Alright. Everyone, car keys?" Niall extends his arm and everyone digs in the pockets for their keys. 

"Means you too, Harry." Zayn comments, dropping his set into Niall's awaiting palm. 

"We put our keys into one lot and one is chosen. That car's gotta take us everywhere." I say by means of explanation since Harry doesn't appear ready to hand over his keys. 

I hold out my hand and let him give them to me instead, before it's dropped into Niall's booty. No one misses the twinkle in his eye that comes with the logo of a Jeep 2014 edition. 

"We're taking Harry's car!" Niall professes. "It outshines all you suckers' so there's no real reason for this."

"No breaking of tradition, you egg." Marie slaps the back of Niall's head with insufficient force. 

Harry comes closer because I had a feeling this atmosphere made him a little antsy. I remember what Gemma told me about him not being the most friendly in the batch, so I permit his act of curling his fingers through the un-ironed loops of my jeans. 

I smile up at him and he raises an eyebrow at me, questioning all that's currently happening. I roll my eyes and disregard my friends' misbehaviour. Straining my quads against the tough surface of the diner table, I stretch up to press kiss Harry squarely on the mouth. It was chaste and very quick. 

There's a gasp and I know I wasn't quick enough. Everyone is looking at us again, except this time there's no real straining of emotions. Niall looks smug, Liam is impassive, Marie is smiling and Zayn is definitely not. 

"Did he say 'friend'?" Niall decides to break the awkwardness of our thick silence. 

"Don't think he did." Marie answers. 

They'd seen the news. They had enough respect and intelligence to not utter another uncomfortable word. 

"What about Douglas?" Clearly Zayn doesn't possess any of the above. 

"I-I....He-" I stutter and fumble for the right words. 

Harry hasn't stepped back yet and now he speaks up. "He's dead. Louis and he broke up before that. It was on the news."

And every person in the room seems to have frozen. Marie isn't surprised though, which leads me to believe that she already knew. All of my friends had a blossoming disliking for the late Douglas, and whenever he came out with us they'd make the night as irritable as possible for him. 

"Good riddance." Niall sits back in his chair. 

Marie slaps his arm and I cringe. It was maybe still a little too soon to be so grateful for his demise. The man still had family that would miss him, I think. 

"How'd the guy die?" Zayn is pulling his cigarettes from his pocket. 

Harry's stature grows stiff, exuding tension and he steps a little closer to the table and me. 

"Doesn't matter." Liam snatches up the pack. "The idiot's gone now."

He lights one himself before handing Zayn the cart again, offering his lighter as well. I never liked smoking because it hurt my lungs and made my skin itch.   
I feel the conversation has grown too theoretical and lean against Harry's shoulder with a small yawn that makes my eyes water. 

"See! Louis' getting bored. Politics isn't important. Let's go." Niall self-proclaims and gets up to head for the door. 

He tosses Harry's keys back to him while the rest lay untouched on the barren table. 

I smile against Harry's shirt. "He likes you."

Harry helps me off the table and snorts at my comment. "Means nothing."

"Sure it does. Niall's a good friend to have when he's not drunk or angry."

"He's Irish?"

"And you're British." I wink at him from my low height and he fake gasps. 

"So are you."

"He moved here fifteen years ago. Found us a month after that. He can't survive without us. Right, Niall?!"

"Huh?" Is what we get from Niall. 

"Tell Harry how much you love us."

"Too much, Lou." Niall takes on a horribly fake teary-eyed expression. "I would never be able to handle life without you."

When he hugs me around my shoulders, Harry is forced to let go and there was more relief on my part when he wasn't tense again afterwards. Harry climbs in the driver's seat and I curl up on the passenger side because the Jeep took the two minutes we were absent to cool down again.   
When everyone's inside and Niall is done smacking, batting and scolding hands whenever they got close to touching something we're off. 

"Niall, my car won't implode if they touch it." Harry says to him and I giggle. 

"Sure it would. This probably cost you half a million." Niall calls back from beside Zayn. 

"Louis?" Marie taps my shoulder and I turn towards the window so I could see her through the tiny gap. 

"Hey." I smile, lowering my knees and folding my legs outwards. 

"Why does Louis have his feet on the seat?" Niall sounds pissed. 

"Because I can, Niall." Answer him. 

"You can't. Can he, Haz?"

I glance side wards at an amused Harry who is skilfully driving the motor vehicle without difficulty. 

"He can do whatever he wants, Niall. You can't." Is Harry's response and his returning wink at me makes me blush. 

"Lou." Marie pinches my ear to regain my attention. 

"I'm here." 

"Stare at your boyfriend later." She hushes. "We haven't seen you in forever."

"Why is there a stuffed koala in here?" Niall interrupts _again_ and Marie grabs it from him just to deliver a light hit. 

"Shut up, will you?" 

"Kinky bastards."

"Hey! Give him back." I reach out to take the poor stuffed animal. "Harry won it for me at the carnival."

"Is that why you two were so late?" Liam accuses. 

"Maybe." 

"We're here." Harry announces and everyone looks out their windows. 

We all scramble to unlock the doors and get out, except Harry who asks me to wait a bit. I jump off and wait for him to approach me, already half stripped of his trench coat. 

"No, Harry." I hold my hands up to indicate that I didn't want his jacket because it was cold for him too. 

"Lou, you're feeling cold." And to certify his point, he envelopes me in a warm embrace so I join him under the layer of his coat. 

"But you're not Superman." I feel my goosebumps going down and the comfortable heat seeping through my skin. 

"I'm your Superman." He brings his face down to mine, bumping our noses and I feel how cold his is. 

"Sappy." I pout. 

"But you still love me." He gives in to a little peck because after not being able to kiss for twenty minutes, we had to reaffirm one. 

" _Louis William Tomlinson-_ "

I pull away, having to detach myself from the lovely hold of Harry's acceptance to answer Marie. "Coming!"

"Your friends are....-" Harry doesn't let go of my hand as we approach the others. 

"A special kind of insane." I finish for him. 

The tree is reflecting the night sky in its befallen grace. The lights twinkle and shimmer with the little ribbons that add extra finesse. It's a wonderful sight that stands as tall as the three-storey insurance broker building. At the very top is the grand ol' church clock. It's a replica, obviously, but it's been a part of Middleston tradition since before I was born. 

"It's beautiful." I say, mesmerised. 

"Something like that." Harry's arm is around my skinny hips, and he's kissing the slight hollow of my temple. 

"Louis! There's a Cinnabon." Marie suddenly releases Liam's hand and is heading for me. "Let's go."

I am again extracted from Harry's side before I can smile apologetically. She and I walk across the empty plane and get to the little shop that's toasty inside and makes my tummy rumble. 

"Jesus, it's freezing outside." Marie rubs her arms. 

"Yeah. It is December."

"Speaking of frosty months, your birthday is in a few months."

"It is."

"Lou."

"What?"

"You can't be so attached to the guy already."

"I'm not." I let her loop her arm through mine. "What are we ordering?"

"We forgot to ask everyone."

I laugh. "How considerate."

"We'll just buy what we want-"

"And they can suffer?"

"Exactly." 

Marie gets this tray of little cinnamon swirls that's dripping in hot icing. I'm stuck between the sugar sticks and broken bun that's drenched in chocolate. 

"Get both." She shrugs. 

"I'll die of a heart attack." I hand her the tray of hot chocolates - six exactly - before turning to the man behind the counter. "Hi, can I get the sugar sticks and the cup?"

"Sure. Size of the cup?"

Marie nudges my elbow. "What size, Lou?"

"You're disgusting." I lift my chin to avoid anyone seeing my blush. "Medium."

My grub comes to me in two minutes and then we're leaving. Marie holds the beverages and I juggle the munchies. 

"Saw your college stuff in the car." She says, intentionally walking slowly. "Leaving us already?"

"Unfortunately. I got accepted into Kings."

"That's amazing!"

"I don't want to really leave."

"I know. Home is home. Harry's here too."

"Yeah." I choose not to enlighten her on our arrangement, else she start moaning and whining about my irresponsible decisions in life. 

Niall is the first to attack me since I held the food. Harry stood with Liam and Zayn, his eyes trained on me up until Niall sprinted forward. Then he grabbed Niall's shoulder and held him still for the time it took Marie to give everyone their drinks and take her food. 

"What about us?" Niall glares at us. 

Marie and I share knowing glances with a laugh. "Suffer."

"Evil." 

I offer him the sugar sticks and he takes four out of the six. When he decides to shove all four into his mouth at the same time, Zayn decides to take a photo of his idiocy. 

"How did you pay?" Harry asks me, no real anger in his voice. 

He takes one of the pastries and I give Zayn the other. "I have money."

He bites half of the stick before offering it to me. I shake my head and open the medium-sized paper travel dish to start eating my treat. 

"So what did you talk about?" I ask casually, feeling Harry's front against my back when he folds his arms around my shoulders. "And I'm not dying of the cold, love."

"I know but still." He is careful not to tighten his arms because that would restrict blood flow. "Nothing really. Basic warnings."

"Warnings?" I widen my eyes. 

"They care about you, told me not to break your heart. Zayn promised to skin me if I did."

I flinch. "I'm sorry."

"No need. I admire their friendship. Niall said to never stop you from eating, and never stop you from going out with them. He'd do something quite crude to my man parts and feed it to his pitbull."

I can't help but chuckle at Niall's enthusiasm for my well-being. "He's going to turn me into a fat princess."

"I'd still love you." He kisses my neck, forcing me to bend it at an angle for him to do so. 

"Because you're a sap and a liar."

"You're a koala and I'm not a liar."

Niall deems our tranquillity long-lived enough. "Right then! To the club, it is!"

"Club?" Harry doesn't sound too chirpy about going to a club. 

"Yeah. We always go."

Harry's jaw is stiff against my own. "Okay."

"Wait, could we maybe invite more people?" I throw the question out there, thinking of Tracy and Daniel with the twins who needed a little knowledge on Middleston. 

"Who?" Liam has another cigarette. 

"I met these people today and they wanted to get to know the town. Thought I could invite them."

"Okay yeah." Zayn nods, lighting up another fag. "The more the merrier and all that shit. Call 'em."

I nod and try to pull my phone out of my pocket. Harry reluctantly drops his arm to my waist, covering my pocket with an opposite hand as soon as I have the device. 

***NARRATOR'S POV***

"Yellow." Tracy answers Louis' call, already in a gleeful phase. "Louis, yeah?"

"Yup. Hi. I was just wondering if you guys wanted to go out tonight?"

"Thought you had plans."

"Still do. We thought it'd be nice if you got a lazy tour from all of us."

"Oh yeah. Thanks, Lewis. Daniel! Summon the other two." 

At this point, Louis is asked to put the call on loudspeaker. Everyone draws closer into an oval and Harry doesn't move an inch away from Louis, making Liam feel a little inadequate considering all he has is an arm around Marie's waist. 

"Who is it?" Daniel speaks over the speaker. 

"Louis." Tracy answers him. "Go do-"

"Hey, Lou." Daniel ignores his sister. "Sorry about her."

Louis laughs softly along with Niall and Marie. "No stress. I was just inviting you all for a night out."

"Really?"

"Yup."

"Cool. Where do we meet you?"

"Do you know the town's square?"

"Think so."

"We're there."

"We?"

"Us." Niall rings out, taking Louis' phone. "All six of us."

"Oh alright. We'll see you soon then."

"You will." Niall hangs up. 

"Niall!" Marie hits him _again._ "That was rude?"

"It was? Didn't notice."

Harry doesn't seem very aggravated yet, maybe he tugs Louis closer everytime there's a wind blowing or he shivers. Harry keeps giving in to Louis' requests for kisses without argument and listens to the way Louis' voice is high and happy. He wants Louis like this all the time. 

Louis gives his attention to the previously ignored food in his hands, using a plastic fork to feed himself and Harry. He had to turn around in Harry's stubborn arms for that but it works because he's warm all the way down to his toes and so is Harry. 

"I love you." Harry asserts, kissing Louis' sticky lips. 

"I love you." Louis blushes, licking his lips for the sole reason of getting clean. "With your Tarzan hair and sappiness."

Harry gives him a crooked smirk and Louis would swoon if he wasn't held up. "Koala."

"That's all you have against me." Louis sticks his tongue out for a moment. 

"I quite like that one thing." Harry accepts the fork when Louis holds it up against his lips. 

"Like it?"

"It's very sweet."

"I didn't mean that." Louis laughs loudly. 

"They're here, I think." Liam has moved his arm to Marie's shoulders. 

The white Peugeot rolls up and the door slides back on its hinges. Harry wasn't acting up all night, but nothing stopped him from moving the fork and kissing Louis senseless at the new arrivals. 

Louis was _his._


	26. Chapter 26

_Don't come to me for love._

***NARRATOR'S POV***

The club was a good idea for each of the ten youngsters. After the stiff introduction-phase had past, everyone came to be good friends. Harry was glad to see Louis loosen up and have no visible tension present. But when Louis was on the verge of too loose, he was there to hold Louis' waist and never let go. 

The club was an up scale one. It pleased Harry because that meant little to no sleazy truck drivers and perverts to look at his innocent boyfriend who saw no further than Harry when he was drunk. 

"Harold." Louis had downed two tequilas and half a pitcher that he shared with Niall. 

He was clingy and Harry did not mind one bit. "Lou baby."

Louis giggles and almost trips over the groove between two porcelain tiles. "I love you."

"I loved you when you said it thirty-seven times prior to this, I love you now, and I'll still love you when you say it again." Harry leans in to kiss Louis' wet lips. 

Niall had escaped to become a permanent attachment of the bar where the bartender entertained his curious chatter. Liam went with Marie to the bathrooms and Zayn was with Tracy wherever they were. The twins were immediately comfortable in their atmosphere despite their nerdy appearance. Daniel made Harry annoyed, all he did was try to gain Louis' attention. Harry would kiss Louis harder and grip his waist a little tighter, because Louis' attention was _just for him._

The music thumped on, leaving everyone in a flimsy attitude. The strobe lights made everyone glassy-eyed and wobbly with dizziness. When the friends first walked in, they'd all sat at the bar before spreading out. Now Louis stood between Harry's legs who sat on a bar stool and dictated stories about gibberish.   
Harry would chuckle and squeeze Louis' back pockets when someone walked too close or someone sat next to him. It was his way of staking a claim, and Daniel just made it worse. 

"You have big hands." Louis scrunches up his nose. "They're huge."

"You don't like my hands?" Harry slides a little closer and holds Louis against his front. 

"No." Louis rests his cheek on Harry's shoulder. "I mean, I like them."

Harry sighs happily and tugs on Louis' belt loops. 

"Stop holding my bum." Louis reaches behind him to pry off Harry's hands. "I've got some dignity."

"Your bum is mine though." Harry holds Louis' waist when they kiss briefly. "Definitely mine."

Louis giggles and kisses Harry again. He tastes of liquor and vanilla, a heady and wonderful combination that Harry could get high off. He's only smoked a few times and it didn't entirely disgust him, but he won't now because Louis doesn't like cigarettes. 

The kiss gets deeper and they forget they're actually in a public place. Harry pushes his tongue past Louis' lips and Louis moans from submission. He pulls back and kisses down the column of Louis' neck, attacking his neck with savage-like sucking and nipping. Louis' eyes close and he enjoys the sheer bliss of the moment. 

"Louis!" A voice bursts their bubble and Harry groans, holding onto Louis' hips tighter and sucking harder until there are several red bruises along the pale skin. 

Harry was only desperate to mark Louis more, make his blush and full of Harry's own scent. He had two tequilas and several Scotch selections, making his intentions a little blurry. Harry had more control over his drinking and alcohol consumption, however all he wanted to do now was grab Louis and whisk him off to a place far away. 

He wanted to _take_ Louis and claim him for an entire forever. The alcohol made him braver but he knew it would be hasty and meaningless if they did it tonight. 

He inhaled Louis' scent of citrus and delicate things. He nosed at Louis' hair and continually distracted him from his conversation with Daniel. 

"Harry?" Louis tugs on Harry's curls. "Trying to accomplish something?"

"Trying." Harry mumbles. 

"Well I'm trying to talk to Danny over here."

"Want you all to myself."

"I'm flattered but you'll have me all to yourself later. Deal?"

"Fine."

"Harry?"

"We want to go dance."

"In front of all these people?" Harry didn't like the idea of Louis moving in any provocative way in front of all these people. Especially not with Daniel. 

"You can come too."

"Can't you stay here?"

"Not really." Louis pecks Harry's lips once before turning away with a cheeky smile. 

Harry is tense the whole time Louis is gone. Once the smaller boy enters the crowd, Harry can't see him and it puts him on edge. He doesn't like not being able to see Louis, know that he's with people Harry approves of. Harry just likes to know Louis is safe, and if it means Louis being with him all the time then so be it. 

Harry already missed Louis' touch and feel when he was present. He tried not to be possessive and overbearing but knowing that another person is touching Louis ticks him off. Harry doesn't care what manner the touch was intended, Louis wouldn't want to be touched if it wasn't someone he's known forever or was Harry. 

He slightly regrets telling Louis to wait for their intimacy to go all the way. If they hadn't had waited, Harry would have gotten to show Louis just how amazing he could feel. Harry could have shown Louis how much love he had for the boy and never let him go. But now, Louis didn't know any of that and there was always a chance that Louis would leave him because of that. 

Harry couldn't let that happen. 

Louis followed Daniel through the sticky and grooving bodies, getting to the centre of the dance floor where the lights were directed. It was a little fuzzy to see but he could manage. He'd decided to stop drinking for the night and just get to a bed. Falling asleep under warm covers next to a certain curly-haired individual looked very tempting. 

There were doubts in the back of Louis' head, fuelled and broadened by the intoxication in his veins. Harry chose to postpone their chance at sex even when Louis was begging to have him. Was that a bad sign already? Louis didn't think so because nothing in Harry's behaviour had changed outside the bedroom. 

"You're distracted!" Daniel yells above the voice of Adam Levine in the background and the near-howling crowd. 

"Sorry!"

"So.....you never said you had a boyfriend!" Daniel has to lean a little closer to be heard. 

Louis has to as well. "You never asked and you know now!"

"How long have you been dating?"

"Couple months." Louis lies, he felt like he needed to. "We're going to London together!"

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

Daniel smiles and turns away for a second, having attracted the attention of a bloke slightly shorter than himself. Louis listens carefully to the song, allowing the music to overtake the movements of his hips as he sways in a sweet rhythm. 

Then comes a large pair of hands on his lower waist and he smiles, knowing that Harry has relented and opted to join Louis just when he was about to get lonely. Louis leans back and stiffens, because Harry wasn't wearing a button-up shirt or a gold band on his left hand. 

Louis wriggles out of this stranger's grasp and shrieks in a very unmanly tone when his bum gets pinched. The slight sting stays there and Louis spins around in a fit. The man is middle-aged, hairy by the looks of his bare-chest and smirking. Louis' skin crawls. 

"Something wrong, darlin'?" The man makes a grab at Louis again. 

Louis steps back with a racing heart, searching for _any_ familiar face amongst the bodies near him. 

"Don't touch me." Louis moves out of the man's reach again. "I'm here with someone."

"Looks like you've been stood up then." The man forcefully pulls Louis' elbow and it hurts a little. 

Louis struggles in the man's hold, feeling a sob coming on when the man's tented jeans press against his thigh. 

"Let go of me!" Louis bends his wrist and only ends up hurting himself. 

"Don't get feisty, sweetheart. I'm not that rough."

Louis considered screaming but no one would hear him above the noise of the club. He prepares to put on a physical fight when he's suddenly yanked back and against something hard but familiar. 

"Get the fuck away from him." It's Harry, his saviour. He has Louis held against his chest before pulling him aside and stepping into the man's face. 

"What the _fuck_ made you think you could touch him?" Harry has the man by his collar. "Didn't he tell you he was taken?"

"Fucking answer me." Harry spits when the man doesn't respond. 

"He did." The man responds. 

Harry's hand draws back and Louis gasps, reaching out to stop him before they're thrown out for starting violence but his arms are held and two other familiar faces go up to the scene. 

Harry ignores all reason, and delivers a solid blow to the man's jaw. Against Louis' shouted protests and futile attempts at freedom, Harry continually punches in the man's cheek until it bleeds. 

"Harry!" Louis cry out. "Harry, stop!"

He doesn't stop. Even when Niall and Zayn try to calm him down, Harry's eyes are clouded over with such wretched darkness that he can't see past what the man did to his Louis. Harry knew someone would make a move and now he was certain that Louis would never leave his side. Look what happened when he did. 

Harry's fist was sore and his knuckles were split open with tiny bloody gashes. His vision was fogged over and his eyes were blown so wide that the usual glorious green turned to thin lines at the edge of his pupils. 

The man sags to the ground and that's when he gives up. Harry's nostrils were flared and his hands don't fully clench. There's Zayn and Niall trying to get everyone to return to the celebration, while Liam and Daniel just arrive. Bloody bastard, Harry spits. 

He waits for a few minutes, not turning around to see if Louis comes to him. He doesn't feel a set of fragile arms around him and he turns on his heel hurriedly, looking around and catching Tracy's eye. She points to the exit and Harry's heart crumbles as he pushes toward it. 

The night is freezing and Harry knows that Louis is too. He looks about frantically, searching for Louis' familiar frame that he craves the feeling of. He sees him on the navy painted wooden bench, sitting down and folded in on himself. No one's around him. 

Harry steps closer and Louis looks up. There are tear tracks on his face and his eyes are red-rimmed. His bottom lip is shivering and Harry notices how he doesn't use his left hand. 

"Lou." Harry tries to move closer. 

Louis shifts further away. 

"Lou." Harry whispers in pleading. "Baby, I'm sorry."

Louis looks up, mouth slightly open and traces of previous crying evident. He launches himself at Harry and curls up on his lap, hugging Harry's neck and shivering. 

"T-Thank you." Louis breathes. 

Harry holds him so tight, like he wants Louis to become part of him so he'll never lose him. "Oh love. I didn't scare you?"

Louis shakes his head. "No one's done that for me."

"I'll always protect you, my lovely." Harry kisses his forehead. "Always."

Louis hisses when Harry shifts Louis' torso. He stops his actions and looks at Louis full of concern. "What happened?"

"Nothing. My arm hurts a little."

"Can I see?"

Louis nods and lifts the sleeve of his - Harry's sweater the reveal the spreading purple bruise on the inside of his frail arm. 

"Aw, Lou. What happened?" Harry traces the mark and Louis retracts his limb. 

He is quiet and Harry tilts his chin up, taking in just how perfect Louis looked under the street light. "Tell me."

Louis shakes his head only slightly but Harry sees it. "Did he hurt you? How did he touch you?"

"N-No." 

"Who did this then, Lou-"

"You did."


	27. Chapter 27

_There's no reason to doubt me when all of me revolves around you._

***HARRY'S POV***

Louis is asleep, tucked neatly under two sheets and a comforter. Not to mention my irremovable heat from behind him where I engulf him in a loving embrace for our midnight cuddle. His chest rises and falls in a peaceful sequence that alerts me of his slumber. 

I insisted Vicks was rubbed on his left arm - by me - before he slept. My mind was too full of rushed thoughts and infinite self-hate to fall asleep. Louis had forgiven me before offering an explanation. I had to beg for it and when I heard how he got hurt, I wanted suicide. 

**Flashback...**

"You did." Louis says to me, his already small voice barely above a whisper. 

I frown at him, thinking his words to be a joke. It would be better if it was. "Louis-"

"No, it's fine." He stands, trying hard to ignore the beads of sweat forming on his brow. His hand obviously hurt. "I'm fine."

"You're not, Lou. Did I really hurt you?" I stand as well, hesitating before taking his arm. 

He whimpers and pulls his own back, holding his limp hand against his chest. If there has ever been a more forceful type of pain, it is a fraud. I couldn't inhale or exhale, there was only hate and livid emotions coursing through paper-like vessels. I hurt Louis. 

"It wasn't your fault." Louis senses my inner turmoil. "I-I shouldn't have tried to touch you."

I shake my head. "It's all my fault. Don't ever blame yourself. Lou, I'm so sorry."

"I'm okay." He smiles a little smile for me. "Doesn't hurt that bad."

I wanted to tear my hair out and grovel at his feet for him not to leave me. There was no detachment or sense of looming resistance in his eyes. He was still there for me, but I didn't deserve him. 

"I'm so sorry, love." I throw out out dozens of heartfelt apologies, hugging him to my chest - minding his arm - and kissing everywhere I could. "I'm such a monster to you. I'm supposed to keep you happy and you're supposed to hate me by now. How can you stand me?"

That's when his face falls. "You want me to leave?"

"No, no. Never. I just....I hurt you and don't even remember."

"It wasn't your fault." He pinches my bicep. "Stop being so stubborn."

"How did it happen?"

"Doesn't matter."

"I want to know."

He draws in a long breath. "I tried to grab your hand and you squeezed mine. I'm okay though, really."

Horror fills my eyes and I'm sure the colour drained from my face. "How hard?"

"Pretty weak, actually."

"Tell me, please."

He looks at the entrance of the club then back at me. "My wrist smarts a little but-"

"We're taking you to a hospital."

"No, Harry. No need to over react."

"I'm _not_ going to leave this to chance. I'm not supposed to hurt you. _God dammit!_ You're supposed to be safe with me."

"I am safe with you. I trust you, Harry. It was a mistake."

"No." I secure the sides of his face in both my hands. "You aren't letting this go. I know...I _know_ that you think this is okay, but it isn't."

"What exactly do I do now?"

"You need to be angry with me."

"But it _wasn't_ your fault."

"It was."

"Wasn't."

"Louis, this is killing me and if I don't know you're okay then-"

"Harold. I'm not a baby and I don't need the doctor everytime I trip over something. I _know_ you didn't mean it and if you promise never to lose control again then everything's fine."

"What?"

"You were a little scary."

"I was?"

"Yes. It wasn't you in there and if I didn't know why, I'd be gone by now."

I swallow. 

"See. You don't really want me to be angry with you."

"Please let me take you to the hospital-"

"No, Harold." He sasses, extracting himself from my trench coat. "But I am hungry."

"Hospital then food."

"Just food."

"Louis."

"Please." He tugs on my arm with his fully able one. "You didn't cause a fracture or something. Don't flatter yourself."

**End of Flashback...**

He said I didn't know what I was doing and that he didn't blame me. I blamed me. I hurt Louis and I'll never forgive myself. He was afraid I was going to hit him, and just an hour ago I had held his arm so tight that I'd disabled a few working nerves and created a twitch with a bruise. 

I was a monster and I didn't need saving. I was the monster that fell in love and became obsessed. I was the monster no one found under their bed or in their closet, but in their heart. I was the disgusting creature that hurt the ones I'd die for, and kill the ones nearest to them. I was the kind of monster that didn't know when I was hurting someone and I'd do it all the time if it meant losing this one person. 

This one smaller individual who managed to save and accept me. The only person who'd let me hold them while they slept, who let me kiss and touch them. I was Louis' monster. 

He stirs in his sleep, rolling over and shivering when the expanse of his back is exposed to the cold. I pull the covers around him, leaving my arm out to secure the material while he subconsciously snuggles up under my chin for warmth. 

I watch him sleep. His eyelashes were so thick and long, perfect for the frame of his cheekbones that were high and gorgeous. His fringe was brushed away and knotted. He was wearing my old T-shirt and his own boxers. It his all his feminine curves and beauty. But he makes a small sniffling sound in his sleep, and is redeemed.   
His cold toes press against my calves, locking our legs together and making me hum before closing my eyes. 

I wanted Louis and I to last forever. I'd have to make a move grand enough to remove all doubt by the time he left tomorrow. He still hadn't seen his own family with the news of his college application yet. Louis' koala bear sat beside his bag downstairs in the empty living room. 

While Louis slept, I eliminated ideas. There was nothing I could do fast enough. His birthday was coming up and maybe we didn't have to wait for as long as the time it took for us to get to London. If Louis and I crossed the bridge of complete physical intimacy now then there'd be no lacking in our relationship. 

What if he didn't want to touch or be touched by me? What if he was slowly pulling away already because he thought I was a cruel man. I am a cruel man and he's the spirit of a butterfly. 

I sigh heavily and relax into the bed. I was fully prepared to be turned down today if Louis said no, because I'd never pressure him.

When morning came I had been asleep for almost nine hours. My eyes opened to the most magnificent sight of all, Louis smiling at me. He blushes a beautiful shade of pink when he was caught and I roll us over so there's zero weight on him. 

He rests his chin on my chest and looks up at me. "Good morning."

"Good morning, love." I lean up for a kiss - morning breath and all - because it's been too long. 

"Hmm." He mumbles. "What's that for?"

"Because I can." 

"Cheeky." He stretches across the mattress to catch a glimpse of the time. My hands fall to his hips, edging on his bum but not entirely there yet. 

"How's your arm?"

"Peachy." He smiles, closing his eyes and relaxing back into the mattress. "Don't feel a thing."

"You can't lie to me." 

"Fine. It really hurts and I feel like I'm dying."

My jaw drops and he laughs. 

"It really doesn't hurt, you egg. The truth isn't always the worse of the two." He pokes my cheek. 

"You will be the death of me."

He pauses and sits up, his behind perched on my hips that essentially keep me nailed to the mattress. I run my hands up and down his hairless legs, enjoying their smooth feel under my calloused hands. 

"Total maniac, I am." He tucks his feet under my thighs.

"Hardly." I kiss his injured wrist. "You're a clingy koala."

His grin fades and his hand goes back to his side. His legs pull back a little and he shuffles away. "Do you.....Do you not like clingy?"

I reach for him to stop him moving anywhere. "I love clingy."

He smiles again, accepting a modest kiss from me. He fishes his phone out of his jeans pocket on the floor and scrolls through it. 

"Need to be home soon." He says. "Gotta tell them about Kings."

"I can't believe you didn't tell them already."

"Yeah. They're probably dying from suspense." He says sarcastically. 

"I bet they are. I would be." I brush his hair out of his eyes. "London is a big step."

"It is." He covers my hand with his on his cheek. "And we're unprepared."

I sit up suddenly. "We will be soon enough. No hurry."

"I'm hungry." He knows - if anything - how to ruin a heartfelt moment. 

I chuckle and haul us both out of bed. "I have no extra toothbrushes."

"Bit suggestive there, Styles?"

I let him get on my back for our meter trip to the bathroom. "I'm not Hulk, Lou. I can't hold you forever."

"Oh. Sorry." He attempts to slide down. 

"Got a bit more stamina though. You can use my toothbrush."

"Are you sure?" He bits his dry lip. 

"Yup."

I brush my teeth first then he does, giggling through foam whenever I decide to reminisce a stupid joke from my childhood. Everything felt unbelievable comfortable with Louis there. 

He rinses out his mouth and we go downstairs for breakfast. He almost instantly tries to slide down the railing and I damn near screech. 

"Louis! What the Hell are you doing?" I seize his hip and hold him put, slightly tipped over the edge. 

"Sliding. It's fun."

"It's what movies tell us not to try at home."

"You can catch me at the bottom. I've done this before."

"You have?"

"No. Please let me."

"No. I won't allow you to risk another arm."

"Oh such drama, Harold." He hops down. "I'll just do it at home."

"Lou!" 

"I'm kidding?"

I scowl at him and he seems unaffected. He didn't understand just how much it would break me to see him hurt more. Everything he walked on needed to be bubble-wrapped. 

We settle our silent conflict and go into the kitchen for breakfast. Both Gemma and mom were meant to be at their friends' houses for today until seven in the evening. Our breakfast is pancakes and frozen berries from the fridge with honey. 

"Honey's disgusting." Louis frowns at the bee-shaped jar. 

"Why?" I shake my head while laughing because only my Louis would find the most random thing to say at a certain quiet moment. 

"It's basically spit from bees."

"Your point?" I pour more batter into the frying pan. 

"My point is that honey is spit. I refuse to-" 

I silence him with a loud kiss and a smirk when he opens up for it. Upon pulling away I say, "You were saying?"

He grumbles something incoherent while picking blueberries from the lot to munch on. I give him the first pancake and he thanks me with a kiss to my cheek. He gets to work arranging a face on it while I make one for myself. 

I try not to lose myself in thought while I cook but all I am drawn into is the idea of Louis' and my intimacy levels. I had to ask him sometime and I didn't know if he'd be this gleeful again. 

"Lou?" I start, a little nervous. 

"Harry?"

I put down the spatula and approach him without my own food. "Remember.......do you remember what I said about waiting for London?"

He yawns cutely and covers his mouth. "Sorry?"

"Um....waiting for us to...go all the way?"

"I do."

"Well......maybe we don't have to?"

He pauses, the spoon - yes, spoon - halfway to his parted lips before returning to home ground. His gaze goes with it. 

He looks so afraid when he speaks next, joyous mood forgotten. "You don't want to?"

"No, no. I meant we don't have to wait that long."

"Oh." 

"Baby, you know I won't scare you or pressure you. If you want to wait, that's fine. I just-"

"Is it because of last night?"

"What do you mean?"

"Is it because.....I got hurt?"

"Not at all. I mean, it tore me up that I hurt you and I won't ever forgive myself but....we're good together, yeah?"

"I think we are. You're really sweet and when you're not acting like Thor, you're just a sap."

I offer him a wide smile of comfort and he giggles - a sound I'd like to record and play forever - when I nip at his cheek.

"So you don't want to wait now?"

"I want you and I to have no barriers. I want it to always be, just us. And.....and if you really want this, because I really do, then there's nothing to wait for."

Louis chews on his bottom lip in thought. "Can we do a second date?"

"Anything you want."

"Before." He says. "Before we.....you know."

He's blushing a deep shade of red and I kiss him sweetly as a distraction. "Whenever you're ready."

"What day is today?"

"Sunday."

"Date?"

"Nineteenth, I think."

"We need to get an apartment by the twentieth."

"So how about we choose an apartment now and go on our date tomorrow night when the stress of deadlines are over?"

Louis pouts and leans in for a longer kiss that I don't disrupt until we both need air. Kissing him was a little bit of Heaven each time because his kisses were always so shy until he became impatient. 

"Tomorrow?" He groans. 

"Yes, pup." I kiss one of his neat love bites that he had no way of hiding. "I have something to do today. Will only be back tomorrow."

"Oh." He seems a little disappointed. "We don't have to choose now if I'm holding you up or something."

"No I have until four."

"Where are you going?" He wraps his arms around my neck, wanting nothing more than a hug. He really was like a koala when it came to displays of affection. 

"Out of town. Meeting with my uncle to finalise the job."

"Uncle? I thought it was an old friend."

"Same thing." 

He forms a little 'o' with his lips. "Do you have a laptop?"

"I do."

"With Wi-Fi."

"I'm not living with the Dark Ages, Lewis."

"Ew." He scrunches up his nose. "Where is it?"

"I'll get it. You bring the food up."

I leave him perched on the counter with a peck to remember me. I set up the Macbook on the bed while I listen to his soft padding footsteps as he ascends the staircase. 

He hands me to plates and crawls on top of the covers, sitting a safe distance away because he is still a little nervous when it came to initiating anything. I roll my eyes and pull him closer by his waist, watching him squirm before settling down between my legs. 

"You're so big." Louis says crossly. 

"You're just really tiny." I nuzzle his neck. "The password's Gemma."

He concentrates when typing in the password, after cooing about the fact that I'd made it my sister's name. The tip of his tongue peeks out at the corner of his mouth the whole time we're scrolling through ads. 

I finish eating first, then he. We create a list of seven eligible places, one being a studio that Louis loves because of the view. We settle on an apartment in central London where Louis could get to his classes and I could get to work with convenience. He sends photos to his mother so she can approve before asking when he'd be home. 

My phone buzzes on the bedside table three times before going silent. I'd never ignore it usually, but after setting a special ring tone for Edith's contact I know when I should. 

The apartment costs £856 000 and to us both, we can manage. It's pricey but it's cheaper than usual. We send our response and prepare to drop Louis off. 

At his house, I kiss Louis on his cheek and lips before letting him go. He clutches the koala bear in his hurt arm and waves at me from the doorway before I drive off. 

My job interview is a go-ahead but there was no mention of it being a safe enough one. My uncle was a shady man who lived underground ever since he hit puberty. His job offer entailed keeping me as a right hand man for his cartel. He was proud that I asked and accepted.   
Edith's gun sat in now in the back of my car, in a little slit between two seats. I pull off at the bordering city entrance and jump off to retrieve it. 

My panic builds when I don't find it, instead there's a slip of paper that seems to be torn from a university brochure. There's untidy scribble on it. 

_You have Louis, I have this. - Zayn_


	28. Chapter 28

_In the very depths of Hell, do demons not love one another?_

***NARRATOR'S POV***

Harry went livid with red vision everywhere. He slammed the door to the back seat shut and refrained from letting out the biggest shout in annoyance he ever would. He found Zayn at the same club they'd visited the night before, and stormed up to him with murderous eyes. He shoved past the boy who tried to ask why he was here, intentionally inflicting a little more than some pain. 

"Good boy Harry." Zayn smiles up at him from the hard white couch, blunt in hand. "Thought you'd find me."

"Give me my gun, Zayn." Harry was nothing if not direct. 

"What gun?" Zayn lifts his hands innocently, leaving the cigarette between his lips. "You have a gun? That's a hazard, Harry. Especially for Louis."

" _Fuck. Off._ " Harry steps in his face, preparing to go as far as punching the living daylights out of Zayn. 

"One of you, Harry. Don't try anything." He smirks. 

"Ahoy, Harry!" Niall emerges from the curtains in the back with Daniel and Harry's never known a deeper feeling of disgust. 

Harry just glares at them both before returning to Zayn. "I'm not leaving without it."

"What would you need a gun for anyway?" Zayn steps back. 

"Gun?" Niall asks. 

"Louis' new boyfriend was hiding a gun in his fabulous Jeep."

"Harry?" Niall loses his smile and Daniel seems a little smug. 

"I have a gun, yes. What I do with it is my _fucking_ business!" Harry barks. 

"Yeah sure." Zayn waves him off. "It's our Lou we're worried about."

Harry's fists clench until he feels the bones of his fingers protruding. "Your point?"

"He's so fragile, innit? You've seen it, I'm sure." Zayn smirks. "What would he conclude what-with you having a gun and everything?"

 _"How dare you?"_ Harry strides forward, gripping the front of Zayn's shirt with both hands. "You tell Louis about this and I'll _skin_ you."

"Words are but words, Harry." Zayn pats himself down when Niall step forward to help him. 

"Really? Douglas' murder isn't loud enough then?"

"What?" Zayn pauses, staring at Harry with empty eyes. 

"Douglas' murder was mine. I killed him. Do you know why?" Harry spotted what he came for under the table on the cushioned seat. He withdraws it and aims it at Zayn. "He almost took what was never his to have, what was _mine._ "

When Harry got like this, there was no reasoning with him. There was no logic or explanation. He saw one thing at a time and at every turn, it was keeping Louis with him. He'd fought too hard, waited too long and hurt too bad to let it all go now. He would not allow Zayn's misguidance to take away what he's worked for. But he won't kill him either, because that would certainly put more of a damper than Douglas could.   
He clicked on the safety and tucked the weapon into his waist band with a sigh. 

"I know what you were doing, trying to protect Louis. I'm doing the same but in my own way. I won't hurt him nor will I hurt you. You aren't worth the bullets and he means too much to me." Harry sighs deeply before leaving. 

Louis sat with Phoebe on his bed, doing her homework until he had to get ready. Harry would pick him up at seven - he thinks - so he had two hours left. 

"Phoebs?" He turns on his back and flips the little princess on the back of her pen. 

"Yeah?"

"What do you think of Harry?" He knew he liked Harry, just wanted a solid second opinion. 

"I like him." She smiles. "Don't you?"

"I do. We're going out tonight again."

"Mom!" She immediately wails and Louis laughs. 

"Babes?" Their mother pauses in her stroll past their door. 

"Louis' going on another date. Can we go for ice cream before he drowns us in clothes?"

Their mother chuckles before shaking her head. "Of course we can."

"Mom!" Louis protests. 

"What, Louis?"

"That's not fair!"

"It is. C'mon, Phoebe. Louis?"

He looks up from messing his sister's hair. "Hmm?"

"Be safe and when are you coming home?"

"I will." Louis blushes. "Maybe tomorrow?"

"Alright. Congrats on Kings again, love." She comes to kiss his forehead. "So proud of you."

"Thanks, Mom."

Louis is left in an empty house to decide on a flattering outfit. He lays out two choices on his bed. He is set on wearing these turquoise jeans with the cuffs rolled up twice. There was a choice between a grey or maroon-mixed knitted sweater. Maybe he wore too many of those but they kept him warm and felt comfy. 

He slipped on a his secret socks and grey Toms after his pants. Then the knitted sweater and Louis sniffs his armpits to see if he's good to go. He smells of honey - call it a whim - and berries from his new shower gel. He even washed his hair and was careful with styling it. The little red bruises that punctuated spots of his neck, were bold and could not be hidden. 

In a very devious deed, he hurries down the hall to his parents' room to borrow his mom's concealer. It does an excellent job in hiding the marks from any naked eyes. 

Louis is satisfied with his appearance and steals away to the kitchen for a quick snak that won't affect his appetite. A bag of cheese-flavoured pretzels. The time alerts him of a thirty-minute waiting period. He decides to watch some TV or find one of his friends to text. 

He sends Marie a message. 

_Hi :)_

_Heyyyy_

_I'm bored_

_I'm second best then?_

_Never! Haha. Love you xxxxxxx_

_Oh shove it. So why are you bored?_

_Waiting for Harry to pick me up ;D_

_Retard x_x Date Night on a Sunday?_

_Yeah. I don't even know where we're going._

_Surprises are cool. Except u hate them xD_

_True that._

_So have you and Harry done the deed yet?_

_OH SHUT UP :O you can't just ask me things like that!_

_Why not?_

_Because it's personal ;P_

_Oh come on! We used to be so close._

_We still are. You just ask perverted questions all the time._

_You have, haven't you?! I knew it!_

_We didn't. Tonight's the night :$_

_Let me know how it goes._

_I will not!_

_I gotta run. Zayn's home. Love you!_

_Xx :)_

Louis tosses his phone across the couch and looks at the time. 19h01. He smiles because it's almost time for Harry to get here. He retakes his phone and keeps it beside his head while he rests on his front. 

The door opens and he looks up with such speed he may have hurt his own neck. His mother and Phoebe walk in in a fit of expired laughter. 

"Hey Lou." His mom greets him. "Harry late?"

"Yeah." He makes grabby hands at his phone until she hands it to him with a quizzical look. 

"Alright. We're going upstairs. Your father's working late and-" The doorbell rings to interrupt her and Louis' on his feet in no time. 

"Goodnight!" He yells to them, kissing each female on their cheeks. 

Upon answering the door, he finds Harry leaning against the doorframe with a hand behind his back. He's wearing black skinnies, a black T-shirt under a red plaid shirt and a black blazer covering it all.   
He smiles at Louis warmly before revealing what was hidden behind his back. Louis can't help his shy grin at Harry's flower offering. They're purple roses - native to Middleston County. 

"They're beautiful." Louis cooes, taking the cellophane wrapped bunch from him. "Thank you."

Harry leans in closer for a gentle peck on the lips, surprising Louis a little at first. He smiles against Harry's lips and pulls back. 

"I'm going to put these in water. Wanna come in?" Louis holds the door open for Harry enter before turning away. 

Harry catches a glimpse of Louis' too clean neck and frowns. He doesn't say anything yet, choosing to wait until they're alone. Louis returns, phone stuffed in his pockets and hands hidden his sleeves. 

"Ready?" Harry reopens the door. 

Louis nods and let's him be led out to the car where Harry holds the door open for him. Snow is due anytime now in Middleston which means the temperatures have dropped obscenely enough for everyone to need to turn up their heaters.   
Harry already had the heat on and the car was in a toasty warm state that would make Louis purr. 

"You look amazing." Harry breaks the silence when they pull into the main road, his hand taking Louis' good one and squeezes. 

"Thanks." Louis feels the heat rise to his cheeks again and he's slightly ashamed of his constant blushing. "You're very handsome tonight too."

Harry gives him a lopsided grin and exposes his deep dimples. Louis doesn't recognize the route they're taking and asks Harry for an explanation. 

"We're eating at the harbour." Harry says to him, revelling in the pure excitement in Louis' big blue eyes. 

"The harbour?"

"Yes. There's this little place right on the deck I came across."

Louis leans back in his seat, legs folded and hands clasped between his thighs. "Can I put the radio on?"

Harry nods and watches Louis turn the dial to allow music to flood the speakers. The voice of a familiar producer and radio host enters the car and yaps on about the latest single of a new man-band. Louis switches channels and Neon Hitch's voice fills the vehicle mid-song. Louis curses the embarrassment that's definitely prominent on his cheeks at the lyrics. He rushes to change the channel again when Harry stops him. 

"I like this song." Harry filters, taking Louis' hand again. 

Louis liked it too, would sometimes sing it in the shower when no one was home. "Me too."

They arrive at the harbour after three unknown tracks and a single from the nineties that Harry hums along too. Louis light teased him for it, only to be caught in the beat as well and laugh at their terrible cover. 

Harry refuses to let Louis jump off on his own, and walks around the hood to open his door. Harry wraps his arm around Louis' waist and laces his left hand's fingers with Louis' right hand.   
The smaller boy takes in the gorgeous sea view and boats bobbing on the sea water as powerless waves collide with wood and rock. The moon is directly above the water and sheds a perfect amount of illumination for the night. 

There was a wooden construction amongst the black pebbles that Louis can feel beneath his shoes. It's called The Black Pearl and it makes humors Louis with the Pirates of the Caribbean referance. He follows Harry up the flickering lamp post and through the door.   
Inside there are several tables set up next to fish tanks or sailing props. There's a major peek at a large aquarium on the far end with a sofa booth and Louis really wants to sit there. 

"Reservation for Styles." Harry speaks to the man by the podium with a book. 

The man glances over his leather-bound book and nods with a curt smile of confirmation. "Cash or credit tonight, Sir?"

"Credit."

He notes that and guides the couple to their seat. It's the spot Louis wants and he holds back from clapping like a giddy child when they slide into opposite ends of the booth. 

"Your waitor will be right with you." The formally dressed clerk walks away. 

"This place is fancy." Louis comments, itching to cross his legs on the seat out of habit. 

"It isn't that bad, actually." Harry unbuttons his blazer. 

"How did you find it?"

"Came here with my family a long time ago. Been waiting to bring someone here."

"Oh." Louis brushes his fringe back and rests his chin on his folded hands. "Well, consider me thoroughly impressed."

Harry watches Louis' eyes dart to the different kinds of sea life that's swimming by them. There's a few clown fish that grabs Louis' attention immediately, and a tiger shark that makes Louis' eyes fill with intense fascination. 

Their waitor arrives and Louis doesn't bother to turn his attention away from the swimming creatures. Harry chuckles fondly and accepts both menus. 

"Have you ever gone swimming with them?" Harry asks, nibbling on a bread stick. 

"With sharks?" Louis makes an absurd expression. 

"They do those, snorkling adventures."

"Nope. Don't really want to."

"Why not?"

"Too risky." Louis takes his own menu. 

"Built up an appetite yet then?"

"Something like that." He notices that the restaurant is starting to fill up so it isn't exactly odd that they chose a Sunday to go on a date, others do it too. 

Louis orders the seabass platter with veggie rice and the restaurant's special sauce. Harry goes with a platter that consists of crumbed calamari, mussels and hake. 

The waitor asks if they want the wine menu and Louis holds back his laughter. Harry nods and browses over the selection like a man on a mission before selecting their second finest Chardonney. 

"Don't you think it's mean to eat fish infront of fish?" Louis thinks out loud after taking a bread roll from the centre of the table. 

"It probably is." Harry straightens his back. 

"Why'd you order wine?"

"Don't you drink alcohol?" Harry raises a suspicious brow. 

"I do but not over a meal."

"Then I'll have to drink an entire bottle all by my lonesome."

"Maybe a little because I feel bad for you."

Harry holds Louis' hand over the table while they talk about absolutely unimportant things. They start with each other's first pets and land on Harry's most challenging game of Monopoly. 

"We'll have to play one day." Louis claims. "I am undefeated."

"Against Phoebe?" Harry let's out a small laugh so as not to disturb the other diners. 

"My father." Louis sticks his tongue out. 

Harry rounds his lips. "Considering he is a man of finance, you must be quite the player."

Louis proudly straightens his shoulders. "Indeed I am."

Their food arrives and Louis tries to focus on not spilling half the rice over onto the tablecloth. Harry watches him intently as if he's an endangered specie with remarkable characteristics, eyes fond and admiring. He smiles when Louis keeps turning to the tank and losing contact with reality for a few moments at a time. 

Eventually he misses his boy's voice and chooses another topic. "I spoke to my mom about London today."

He planned to release this news later on but there's no stopping it now. Louis takes a bite and looks up. "Really? What'd she say?"

"Said she was okay with me moving so far away, unlike Gemma."

"Aw." Louis cooes. 

"No tears were shed, just menopausal women."

"You're mean." Louis sticks out his bottom lip in a way that made him freaking adorable and look ravishing to the bone. "She just loves you a lot."

"Yeah. Did you tell your mom?"

Louis did, and she was ever so hesitant about the whole thing. "She's onboard with London so long as they get to visit every second day."

Harry takes a sip of his wine and smiles with his lips pressed against the rim. "Think we can accommodate that."

"I'll be too jetlagged."

"It's a four hour trip, love."

"Four hours too many." Louis says stubbornly. "How can you eat mussels? They don't actually give you any muscle."

"They taste good. Chocolate doesn't give you muscle."

"No need to pick on chocolate. Chocolate is fantastic."

"So are mussels."

"You shouldn't have ordered wine. You're drunk already." Louis steals Harry's glass and takes a sip. "Not bad."

"Why would it be bad?"

Louis shrugs, finishing the wine. "Bit sweet."

"You're sweet."

Louis giggles loudly at the unexpected compliment. "That was terrible, Harold."

"Now who's being mean?"

"You're the best sappy idiot there is." 

"This sappy idiot loves you."

"I know he does." Louis avoids sneezing by scrunching up his nose. "I love you as well, Harold."

"Harold sucks. Call me that when we're seventy plus."

Louis manages to hitch one leg under the other, feeling that foot rise off the ground. "Don't want to live that long."

"Why not?"

"A gated community with other oldies in scooters aren't my thing. As soon as I need any kind of surgery, knock me out."

Harry frowns deeply, creating creases on his forehead. "Don't say that. What about me?"

"You're already old, hence Har-old."

"Okay, _that_ was terrible." Harry throws his head back in laughter. 

"I agree." 

They finish their meals and Louis silently begs for dessert because he saw a passing pair's plate and really wanted to see what they could get. Harry would never once say no to his Louis so they end up with a dessert they can't pronounce but makes Louis moan and Harry's pants tighten at the sound. 

"What is this?" Harry asks, lifting the spoon to his own mouth. 

"Don't know. Something from France." Louis gets fed a bite. 

"I have to learn to make this."

"Why?"

"If it means you'll make that sound everytime you eat it."

Harry watches Louis' cheeks turn beet-red with a beautiful blush. He's in love with Louis' ignorance and innocence. He wants to be the one to teach Louis everything. 

"Where are we going after here?" Is Louis' subtle way of asking if they're going to be really alone after dinner. 

"You'll see." 

"Harry." 

"Yes, my love?"

Louis simply takes the plate away from him and over to his side of the table. Harry's expression is simple outrage. 

"No need for deprivation, babe." Harry calls for peace. 

Louis folds because he's as hopeless for Harry as it is vice versa. They finish their food and Harry hands over his card to the waitor without even looking at the check. 

"Should have ordered caviar then." Louis comments absentmindedly at the door where Harry collects his card and circles Louis' waist again. 

"That would definitely have alarmed the fish." Harry bends to kiss Louis as soon as they're outside. 

They don't break apart for a while, Louis' back against the pole and Harry's much larger frame blocking him completely from anyone's sight. 

"I love you." Harry whispers, starting a trail down Louis' neck. 

"I love you." Louis can barely breathe with the pent up nerves inside him. 

"We don't have to do this tonight, if you're afraid."

"I'm not afraid." Louis reassures him. "Little nervous but I trust you."

"You should. I'm going to take care of you."


	29. Chapter 29

_Suivre Mon Coeur, Ma Voix......Follow My Heart, My Voice._

***LOUIS' POV***

"Where are we going?" I ask curiously, as Harry has my hand but we aren't heading for the car like I hoped. 

"I rented us a boat for the night. We're going to find it." 

My eyes nearly drop out of their safety zone. "A boat? I'm not for exhibitionism, Harry."

"A yacht, then."

"A yacht? How.....why a yacht?"

"Because they're majestic vessels and I want this night to be special for you and I."

I'm not a virgin, though I'd have no issues with giving Harry my total innocence. I didn't understand why Harry was going full-out for this night. Then it occurs to me that maybe he doesn't know I'm not a virgin. 

"Harry, wait." I come to a halt and he is forced to stop with me. 

"Lou?" He steps closer to me, touching my cheek with his fingers and eliminating all the space between us. 

"I-I'm not.....really a virgin." I grimace when his breath catches in his throat. 

I chew on my bottom lip nervously, keeping the tears at bay because that voice in my head told me he wasn't too happy with the revelation. He didn't want me if I wasn't untouched. 

"I'm sorry. I-I.....it's just that you did all this and I feel guilty." I spill out, bottom lip trembling when he says nothing and just stares at me. 

"Harry?" I grab the lapels of his jacket. "Say something."

He doesn't and I feel a big part of me tear away slowly. I'm such an idiot. I never should have said anything. I couldn't lie either. He doesn't want me now, I wouldn't want me either if I was him. Probably. 

I step back and watch his eyes follow me. "I-I'm sorry. I...."

I turn away from him, preparing to run away. After waiting in silence, he doesn't stop me and I do sprint away in tears. I didn't want to stay for his rejection, Harry really meant something to me. 

"Louis!" Harry is behind me, following after my race. 

I continue until I'm lost amongst the many floating assets of rich folk. I wipe away my tears with my sleeve, looking around for a way back. The wood beneath me is faltering and the sea is so intimidating. 

"Lou!" Harry appears at the start of the dock. "Lou, what are you doing?"

"Y-You weren't saying anything." I step back, nearing the end. "I got scared because I thought you didn't like me anymore and-"

"Love, come here." Harry holds his arms open for me. "I can't just stop loving you, you're my special boy."

"Please don't leave me." I grip his shirt. "I don't want to be used again."

He hugs me tightly against his solid chest, rocking us back and forth. "Darling, I give you my word. You have my heart, Lou. You take it wherever you go and it is you that will break me."

"So you still want me?" I peek up through my wet lashes, not expecting him to press a full kiss to my lips. 

"I'll want you forever, Lou. And look."

"What?"

"You found our yacht." He points to a white craft with the name _Italiä._

"She's beautiful." 

He squeezes my shoulders a little before taking my hand. "Shall we?"

I smile at him bravely before stepping forward and allowing him to lift me onto the platform. I try not to make a peep when he abruptly raises me by my hips before climbing on himself. 

"I lied about something." Harry says, looking at me. 

I wait expectantly, a little anxious. 

"This isn't a rental."

"I'll kill you if you bought this, Harry."

He clicks his tongue and grabs my palm again, leading me inside the captain's quarters. "It's my uncle's."

"Oh. Is he very wealthy?" It seemed that way. 

"He is. He wanted to give me this for my twenty-first but I said no and it never really left our shores."

"Why did you say no?" I run my fingers along the heavy wooden wheel, careful not to press to spin anything. 

"Had no purpose for an entire yacht." He steps up behind me, one hand on my waist and the other guiding my hand to his curls. "I'm just one man."

I hum approvingly when he nudges my head to the side and attacks my bare neck with kisses. 

"It doesn't matter, what you said." His voice has been reduced to a husky ember of seduction. "To me, you're my Louis. _Just mine._ "

My breath is cut off when he makes an especially painful bite, a small whimper escaping my lips. He presses me against the wheel and hooks his finger around the collar of my sweater to expose more skin. 

"Harry." I moan when he runs one hand up my jean-clad thigh. His touch lit my skin on fire and turned my senses to jelly. "Please."

"Please?"

I groan when his lips leave my skin. "Please. I want you."

He smirks, zeroing in for a lazy kiss. "Want me where?"

I try to turn around but he pins my arms to my sides, bending my body at an angle. After a moment I free a hand and reach up to hold his nape, feeling his crotch grind against my clothed bum. 

I stretch up on my tiptoes to whisper in his ear. "Inside me."

He moans at my words and realises that we've waited long enough. He spins me around and clasps my thighs with his overly large hands, bringing me up to his eye-level. Our lips meet and slide against each other in a languid dance. He pries my lips apart with his tongue as he stumbles about the cabin, following a path to what is the bedroom. 

He stops to hoist me a little higher, pressing his palm against the wall and lifting me up with the other. Our fronts collide and move together, I tug on Harry's curls to hold his head back so I can mark his neck as much as he did mine. 

" _Fuck Lou._ " He squeezes my behind and desperately grounds his hips against mine. 

My jeans are too tight and his are too. "Too many clohes."

He nods and resumes his quest to the bedroom. He drops me onto it unceremoniously and I bounce a little on the healthy springs of the bed. He crawls over me, lifting the hem of my sweater over my head. He strips himself of his jacket and shirt, leaving his tight T-shirt on. 

"I want you to tell me if you want me to stop, okay? Because I will." He assures me. 

I know he won't hurt me. I trust Harry to keep me safe. 

"I need you to answer me, pup."

"I'll stop you if-if it gets too m-much."

He gives his attention back to my throat while his hands roam my body. They slide under my legs and lift me up by tightening their grip on my behind. Harry looks up at me and our lips slot themselves together for a languid private moment. 

"I love you so much." He mumbles against my mouth. 

I wish I could respond but the brain-to-mouth cord has been temporarily shut down. I nearly cry out when his hand palms the front of my pants. The pressure eased something, but ignited something else. He unzipped them and tossed them across the room, while my fingers slid under his shirt to scrape at his skin. I feel the muscle flex under my touch and I let out a tiny noise. 

"You sound-" He kisses my lips. "-taste-" He sucks my tongue into his mouth. "-and smell exquisite."

My only response is to go pliant in his arms and let him have his way with me because the idea alone drove me nuts. I taste the wine on his tongue when he attempts to make the kiss as filthy as it could get. I pull off his shirt and reach for his zipper. 

I find the previously masked courage to lower the zipper and slip my hand under the waistband on his boxers, feeling his half-hard erection in my small hand. He inhales through clenched teeth and starts moving his hips to the rhythm of my hand pumping his length. He throws his head back, allowing me the opportunity to kiss all of his bare chest and neck. 

"Louis." His hips stutter. "Stop."

I obey and wait for his word. 

"I've waited too long." He presses our foreheads together. "Do I have permission to make love to you?"

I lick my lips and nod fervently. He kisses me once before kneeling above me and dragging my boxers off. I'm completely naked in every aspect before this man, and he doesn't look at me with disgust or hate. He loves me and I see it in his eyes. 

My underwear is chucked aside he gazes down at me lovingly with a lip caught between his canines. His eyes are blown and lips are swollen, there's a deep hunger in his lingering gaze and it makes me blush under him. 

His mouth lands on my left nipple, teasing and torturing me as I writh beneath him. 

"Harry?" I tug on his hair but he doesn't budge. "Harry."

He kisses the pink nub before going to the other one for attention as well. My back arches at the sensitivity I've hard for as long as I can remember and he lightly nips at it. I see black spots in my vision and the ecstasy is pouring out of me. He pecks my lips once before going down on me, to the spot where I had our H&L temp tattoo. He takes the loose skin between his teeth and sucks hard, all the stimulation rushing in jolts to my 'parts'.

"Gonna open you up for me, okay?" He kisses me again. 

I nod and look at the ceiling when his hand goes low enough to be hidden from me. There's a quick snap of a bottle cap and I realize that Harry's had a bottle of lube in his pocket all night. 

"Had that all this time?" I wait eagerly for his digit, watching him rid himself of his trousers. 

"Had to be prepared." He mouths at my collarbones. "Ready?"

"Y-Yes."

One finger presses in and my head rolls back into the pillow, eyes screwed shut as another finger enters me. He remains still for a short time before withdrawing and pushing back in. My body shivers and I breathe in pants, my lungs squeezing air out in rapid bursts. His other hand comes to my hard-on and easily works the length. 

I fist the sheets and try to grind back on his hand while he fucks two fingers in and out of me, occassionally scissoring them for a healthy stretch. There's a burn, but it's slight and definitely arousing. 

"Come for me, princess." He nips at my earlobe. "Once before you come on just my cock."

I mewl at his words, and his promise. I focus on the building pleasure and tightening pit in my lower abdomen. He thumbs at my slit just when his fingers curl and blind me with a meeting with my special spot. I cry out his name so many times, gripping his biceps desperately as he repeatedly pounds against my prostate.   
Short breaths leave me and I come into his palm shamelessly. My body sags but his fingers keep working until it 

"Okay?" He stretches up for a kiss. 

"I'm okay." I smile. 

"Tired?"

I shake my head with a promise. He smirks and his body spans out above mine like a shield. 

"If you want me to stop-" 

"I'll tell you. Promise." 

He searches my eyes for hesitation or doubt, and upon finding none he grabs his own length and guides it towards my most private area. My breath hitches and forms a lump in my throat. He rubs the tip over my entrance in preparation before picking my legs up to throw over his shoulders. 

His eyes meet mine and I'm locked onto his gaze for the time it takes him to press in. My jaw goes slack in a silent moan as he glides in slowly. 

"Okay?" He kisses my cheek, jawline, temple and nose to get my attention. 

My eyes were screwed shut after he bottomed out, trying to blink past the burn that wouldn't go away. I nod, gripping his biceps as he lowers himself. My body is essentially folded in half and totally vulnerable. 

"Ready?" 

"Y-Yes." 

He draws out and slams back in so I shout and almost curse. He watches me but my eyes can't stay open for more than three seconds, if that. He goes slow, rocking into me gently at first before speeding up and thrusting harder. He growls into my sweaty neck, his teeth clamping down on the skin as he pounds me into the mattress. 

His name leaves my lips in a rush of chants and gasps. My nails scratch down down his toned back and he kisses my calf after a particularly hard thrust. I prop myself up on my elbows, leaning against his shoulder where I can see him entering me.   
I can't handle the sight and I'm already past semi-hard. His thrusts get harder and deeper, aimed at the spot that made me lose contact with Earth. He's relentless and my body is going into overdrive with the stimulation.

I felt so _full_ and a little bit drunk off of just Harry, and what he's doing to me. He's like something toxic but so beautiful and irresistable. He doesn't lose his rhythm while our lips are reunited, it isn't so much a kiss it is open-mouthed and just breathing between eachother.   
He took my hands and pinned them above my head, dropping himself to my level and making his thrusts go in _deep._

Many sounds leave my lips in long strings of willing submission, and my thighs drop to his waist so that they rise with him everytime he does. There's constant contact with that friendly coil of nerves within me, and it makes my vision white. The friction is everywhere and it disrupts my train of coherent thought. Senseless garble with my voice fills the space between us, at the same time as when my nails rake down his back. 

"Harry. I-I'm clos-se." I warn him, before shooting white streaks between our sweaty bodies. 

I go on letting him use my body to get off, after my orgasm I clenched around him and pulled a high from him. He falls on top of me, spent and clammy. My fingers are lost in his hair, twitching slightly as we level our breathing again. 

He pulls out when I start squirming from oversensitivity. Harry looks at me before lifting himself up and shuffling down to between my thighs. He hadn't used a condom and that led to the uncomfortable feeling of something dripping out of me now. 

Without warning, Harry gets out of bed and goes into the bathroom. I'm too exhausted to go after him, or protest as to why he was leaving in the first place. My eyelids close and I hide my face in the soft, plush pillow.   
Suddenly there's a warm something held against the flushed skin of my tummy, and it wipes away all traces of drying come.   
My eyes flutter open to reveal Harry wiping down the sensitive parts of my lazy self. He is so careful when he ensures the fluid is no longer going to slip out of me, and he drops the flannel off in a hamper before rejoining me. 

"Was it good?" He asks me in total darkness, the slight wobble of the yacht lulling me to sleep in his arms. 

He is spooning me from behind, holding down the covers. "It was perfect. Thank you."

I crane my neck for a kiss that I get. He smiles against my lips and holds me tighter. "No need for thanks, princess. I would do anything for you."

I'm turned over to hide my face in his chest, yawning as small as I can. "Ditto."

He chuckles and kisses my forehead. "Goodnight, my love."

"G'night."

I dream of green eyes and running away to the busy streets of a famous city. When I awaken, it's because someone is humming a slow tune right by my ear. Upon opening my eyes I find Harry asleep on his front, face smashed into the pillow with an arm slung around my middle. 

"I know you're awake." I murmur in a bored tone. 

He is awake and laughs into his pillow after being caught. I lean across the gap to give him a sweet greeting kiss. "Goodmorning."

"Morning." His morning voice is one to be desired. It's gruff and low, enough to stir up recently discovered feels. 

The gulls are rattling on in the background and I'm reminded we're on a boat when the swaying picks up a little. "What are we doing today?"

"Whatever you want. I've got you for the whole day."

"I'm more of a home-buddy." I admit, turning my face to look at him. "But I'll follow you."

"Did you go Christmas shopping yet?"

 _Damn!_ "No."

He grins triumphantly and I toss a pillow at him before burying myself in the softness on untouched linen. Then there's a hand trailing down my back, maybe two of Harry's fingertips grazing the curve of my back as he goes. 

"Wrong way, Styles." I say into the pillow. 

His hand was getting too low, not that it brought out any discomfort in me. He kisses my shoulderblade, then nudging my cheek with his nose to get me to turn my head. As soon as I do, I'm wrapped up in another breathtaking kiss that punches the air out of my lungs. 

"How about staying here for the day?" He left hand fondles my cheeks, while his other hand encircles my waist to deepen the kiss. 

***NARRATOR'S POV***

"Agreed." Louis blushes furiously when Harry reaches a finger down the crevice of his precious behind. 

"What will we do?" Harry pulls the quaint smaller lad onto his chest for easier touches. 

Louis curls his fingers through Harry's unruly curls and pulls him up for a kiss. "Think of something."

Harry would only ever accept a command from one person, and that person had blue eyes and a bedhead. He growls against Louis' neck, possessive of him even though there's no threat around. Louis never thought that such a menacing sound would get him going this much. 

"Shower next." Harry says before switching them over so Louis' on his back. 

Harry nosed at the crook of Louis' neck, taking in his scent because he'd have to let him go after today. He couldn't wait for London, where letting Louis go would be off the table. 

After using two lubed-up fingers to stretch Louis open, Harry carefully enters him. He'll never get used to the feeling Louis' velvety walls lightly clenching around him. He'll never stop _needing it._  
Louis is a writhing, pliant mess beneath him and it drives Harry insane with desire. He wanted to ravish the boy until he couldn't run and everyone knew he was Harry's, but he'd done that last night and wanted to go slow now. 

He retracted his length before slowly re-entering Louis, feeling blunt nails digging into his back. Louis was the most responsive person Harry's ever seen, and his sounds were so genuine. Harry fed on them, used them to render his release.   
He hoisted Louis' legs to wrap around his waist, using them as leverage for all of his thrusts. The angle made Louis whimper because Harry was a dire believer in instant gratification, and didn't hesitate to aim his athletic movements at Louis' abused prostate. 

Louis never once reached between them for his own length, willing himself to get off on just Harry's treatment. Harry was extremely smug at the attempt. 

"Want help?" Harry tugs on Louis' earlobe, holding his thighs and delivering a deep thrust. 

Louis mewls and his eyes roll back from the intimate pleasure. He shakes his head and takes Harry's hand away from his red and painful length. 

"Just you." Louis is almost inaudible. 

Harry would give half his heart for this boy, the full thing even. "Good boy. I-" Thrust. "-love-" Thrust. "-you-" "-so much, Lou."

He has Louis positively _screaming_ by the end of that, watching Louis' delicate skin turn pink from a flush. 

His shorter lover smiles with swollen, bitten lips. "L-Love you, Harry. So-So much."

Harry is satisfied with that response and decides to finish them off before the overstimulation starts to hurt. "Come for me, pup. Can you?"

Louis nods and grips Harry's nape, bringing his mouth to his own neck. Harry kisses a few of the previously placed love bites, and creates a blooming new one just below Louis' earlobe. Louis loses it and his vision blacks out for his orgasm.   
Harry feels Louis clench Hellishly around him, and starts to speed up his thrusts in desparation. Each one is sloppy and erratic but it gets him there. 

Harry panics when Louis doesn't sigh and really move to get away. He kisses Louis' cheek while extracting himself. "Lou?"

"Hmm." Louis rolls onto his side. "Can we shower later?"

"We can." Harry brings the covers up over them after quickly wiping them down. 

He tries to get between Louis' legs but he's stopped. "No. Leave it."

"It'll be dry later."

"Doesn't matter. 'M tired."

"Alright." One more kiss for memory. "Sleep, my sweet."


	30. Chapter 30

_It's truth or dare, can you feel it?_

***NARRATOR'S POV***

The day started when both boys got out of the shower. It wasn't at the same time because Louis begged for five more minutes of sleep. He didn't really beg, because Harry kissed his forehead and bid him a good sleep the first time he asked. 

Louis didn't have his own bath products and was forced to smell like musk. He hated it. Harry was right about the difficulty of removing come after it had dried, but the task wasn't unattainable. He came out a little damp and dazed, in just a towel. 

"I don't have any clothes." Louis stands by the bathroom door uncomfortably. 

Harry had a few of his clothes here after a night away from home. He was wearing animated boxers and nothing else. Louis was too worried to be embarrassed. 

"Now for the problem." Harry mocks, grinning devilishly up at Louis. 

"Shut up."

"Use mine." Harry gets up to fish out a fresh pair of boxer briefs. 

Louis accepts it with a soft thanks and forces Harry out of the room to change, claiming he still wanted privacy. 

"What do you want for breakfast?" Harry asks through the door. 

"Anything." Louis finds one of Harry's tank tops to wear because he never fancied revealing his body to the public eye.

"I need clothes." Harry's smile can be heard. 

Louis opens the door and flops down on the bed. "I love this bed."

"I can see that." Harry squeezes into a pair of blue jeggings. "We'll get one for London."

Louis visibly deflates at the thought of unpacking. "So much effort."

"Don't do anything then. Just stand there and look pretty." Harry bends by Louis' side to kiss him. "Love me?"

"Love you." Louis feels that theyare comfortably domestic. 

"Love you too." Harry leaves Louis on the bed to go get food. "Going to that restaurant so I'll be back now."

"Mmkay." 

"Bye!"

"Go already, I'm starving!"

Louis hears Harry's loud laughter as he leaves their little floating craft of isolation. He thinks maybe he should have went with Harry but the bed is worth it. 

Sifting through his clothes, Louis finds his phone and switches it on. The messages and calls flood in and he waits for the buzzing to end before opening anything. First is Marie, then his mom. He goes with his mom first, calling her because he knows this is around the time she's hunting for socks. 

"Louis?" She is breathless. He knew it. 

"Hi, Mom."

"How are you? More like, _where_ are you?"

"I'm at the harbour. Harry brought me to this restaurant called the Black Pearl."

"That's nice. Is it any good?"

"The food's amazing. We have to come another time."

"Maybe we will. So you guys....stayed at the restaurant?"

"No." Louis laughs. "He rented us a yacht."

"Fancy." 

"Don't get too excited." He jokes. "How's Phoebe?"

"Missed you. We spent all night looking for Mr. Fluffles."

"Did you find him?"

"Yup. In the basement."

"How'd he get down there?"

"I don't know. She knows she isn't supposed to go down there." His mother sighs. "So are you being safe?"

"The dock's a private plot, I think, so-"

"You know I didn't mean that."

Louis' face turns pink. "I know. I am."

"He's being a gentleman?"

"He is. A perfect gentleman."

He knows his mom's raising her eyebrow suspiciously. "Because if he isn't-"

"You won't arrest him."

"I won't but questioning isn't a crime."

"Thanks but....we're alright."

"Good. I like him and don't want you ruining it."

"Ew mom!" He laughs. 

"It'll get worse. I gotta run but you'll be home tonight, yes?"

"I will. See you later."

"Bye." They hang up so Louis can open his text messages. 

_How's things? ;),_ is from Marie. 

Louis blushes and answers her. _Great, you tiny pervert._

She answers him instantly. _Who's tiny? You're tiny._

_Denial._

_Seriously, how was last night? Spare me the gawry details._

_We fed on live gazelles and decided to run away._

_Colourful. May your sharp-toothed children be as crazy as you._

_By the way, I'm pregnant._

_You're scaring me._

_Muahahaha mission accomplished._

_Telllllllll mmeeeeeeee_

_We went to the harbour and ate at this seafood restaurant. He has a boat._

_Do I hear sugardaddy?_

_Liam's with you._

_Ha Ha Ha you egg :|_

_Harry's gone to get us breakfast actually._

_Omg can I borrow him?_

_Minnneeeeeee. I'm his koala._

_TMI. TMI. TMI, Lewis. Stop._

Louis laughs at his screen when he hears the door open and close. He sends a quick text to Marie. _Sugardaddy's home. Bye!_

_You disgust me._

_Me loves thee._

_Love u too xx_

He locks her phone and gets off the bed to go after Harry. He hears heavy footsteps nearbye and Louis vaguely remembers where the kitchen is. 

"Harry?" Louis' bare feet tread lightly on the tiled floor. 

The footsteps stop and Louis is almost certain Harry is back and about to scare the shit out of him from behind. It he'd actually looked behind him, he'd have seen an approaching figure that resembled Harry in no way. 

This person was meant to find and have a chat with Harry, after being informed that Harry would be here. Now there was a delicate little implication walking before him, and it made this stranger curious. 

Louis wasn't very comfortable with the silence now and wanted to climax to arrive already. He didn't know Harry was just receiving their food and starting the short walk back.   
The new stranger reaches out, eager to see if this boy felt the same as he sounded. Sweet and harmless. Harry wasn't here so maybe he was a stray, but why was he calling for Harry then?

Louis frowns and turns around, stumbling back with a shriek when he sees a towering individual standing there. Louis is backed up against the bar counter and this new person eyes him from head to toe. He had rugged clothing on, and unkept facial hair. Louis was terrified, his heart beating a mile a second in his ribcage. 

"W-Who are you?" Louis' voice shook a little. 

"Rupert." The man replies. "Harry's uncle."


	31. Chapter 31

_You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness._

***NARRATOR'S POV***

Harry walked through the door that led into the captain's room, stepping under low-hanging shelves to go down into the master bedroom where he left Louis, after leaving the food in the little kitchen. When he gets there though, it isn't as he remembered. 

"Rupert?" Harry sees Louis standing by the door that led out onto the front of the yacht. 

"Harry. I was just talking to Louis." His employer and uncle smiles emptily at his nephew. "Didn't tell me you had a boyfriend."

"Didn't see the need." Harry hastily replies. "Why are you here?"

"Needed to consult with you. Do you have a minute?"

"Yeah. Wait outside."

"Nice to see you using my present." Rupert makes to leave. "It was nice meeting you, Louis."

Louis had gotten over the shock of being scaring witless and spoken calmly to Rupert. The man wasn't all that frightening but also resembled Harry none. 

"You okay?" Harry checks Louis' body for any kind of mark that wasn't there when he left. 

"I'm okay." Louis smiles, carding his fingers through Harry's hair and looking him in the eye. "He didn't do anything, I was just surprised."

"Sure?"

"Very."

"Okay. Well, I need to go talk to him so start breakfast without me."

"I can wait."

"You were hungry. Go eat, I won't be long."

"Okay." 

Harry waits for Louis to be in the kitchen for real before turning to leave through the netted door. 

"He's pretty." Rupert says, tightening his leather belt. 

"Got something important to say? Because you can fuck right off." Harry bites, he knew the real kind of scum that his uncle was. 

"I got some boys around here. They told me you're going to London."

"And?"

"Apparently you'd be working for me."

"I spoke with Eric. I'm working for him."

"Same difference, Harry. I'm his boss. I can make you his boss."

"Don't want that."

"Sure you do. Pretty boy is following you to London?"

Harry loses it and shoves the man back until he almost trips over. "Tread carefully."

"No offense. Jeez." His uncle surrenders with his hands up. "The pay's really great though. Five digits a month."

Harry's eyes widen. "Job description?"

The man shrugs, hands in his jacket pockets. "Doing what I do. I'm retiring."

"I'm not running your joint, Rupert."

"Don't have to. Got staff for that. You'll just order 'em around, get your hands a little dirty. There are always safety nets."

"No thanks."

"Work for Eric and you'll get a fraction of what I'm offering. Plus, if you get caught the onus is on you."

Harry sighs, tracing his incisors with the tip of his tongue in thought. Taking the offer wouldn't kill him, and he'd be able to provide for Louis who won't want to work. Harry could keep Louis in college and allow them a comfortable standard of living. 

"Fine." Harry holds his hand out. His cross necklace feels cold against his skin. "Deal."

"Welcome to the family, son." Rupert shakes Harry's hand once. "You'll need a make-over."

"What?"

"No dreadlocks, no stress. I'll get you a new ride, with our plates. You'll need to come with me to the parlour tomorrow and get a mark-"

"Parlour?"

"Tattoos, Harry. You have plenty of them already so I don't expect tears." 

Harry nods because this was his job now, and he had to adapt before a nasty hand threw him out. 

"Leave your boy at home. Don't want him seeing what you're going to do."

"What will I do?" Harry escorts him back to the dock. 

"You're getting your own weapon tomorrow, Harry. Not like the nerf one you carry around now."

Harry shifts his jaw. "Fine."

"Got any preferances? _Don't_ even waste my time with a Browning."

Harry raises an eyebrow. 

"I'll just get you everything. I need the address of where you'll be staying. Apartment?"

"Yes. And I don't want you anywhere near it."

"Then I'll get you another one for all the missed birthdays. It'll have your....machinery."

Harry takes in all his instructions without a word. "Got it."

"You don't want a Sedan, do you?"

"No. No Volvo's either."

"That's my boy." He claps Harry's shoulder. "GMC or Range Rover?"

"They're expensive."

"Means nothing. Now pick."

"Range Rover."

"The 2014 Evoque then. You going to tell your precious one about your.....occupation?"

"Can I?"

"You'll be hated, which means he'll need protection. Would he approve?"

Harry sighs. "No."

"Leave him or lie to him. Your pick. I'll have your stuff waiting for you in London. Care to make a trip there with me?"

"When?"

"Tomorrow after you're introduced to our way."

"Yeah. Tomorrow."

"Eager. I'm proud. Later, Harry."

Harry sees him off - mostly to make sure he's really gone - before returning to the interior of the yacht. Louis is perched on a bar stool, eyes glued to the flat screen while something runs. It looks like a sitcom because between words a recorded audience would laugh in the same note. 

"Hey." Harry kisses Louis' cheek. "Aren't you eating?"

Louis frowns cutely and looks at the plate in his lap. "I was."

"What stopped you?" Harry grabs a bunch of grapes of which he drops a few into his bowl of heated muesli. 

Harry knew the owner of the restaurant personally, and so took advantage of the kitchen when he went up there earlier. He'd gotten some fruit, muesli for them both and orange juice. They were about to do their breakfast rush anyway. 

"Shhh." Louis plonks down on the couch for more comfort, crossing his legs. "Basil's hiding a dead body."

"Who?" Harry lays on his back, head in Louis' lap. 

"Shhh." Louis robotically eats his breakfast and ignores Harry's puzzled glances. 

Harry learns to tolerate Louis' obsession with the old comedy, and admires the way the corners of his eyes crinkle in laughter or how his perfect teeth are shown off when he grins. When it ends, Louis sighs before remembering something. 

"Look what I found!" He chirps, leaning over to grab a deck of cards from the coffee table. 

"What do we play?" Harry pulls out the fifty plus pieces and shuffles them. 

"Goldfish."

"Isn't it Go Fish?"

"We're playing my way."

"Anything you want, princess." Harry presses his lips to Louis' until they need to breathe and Louis pulls him back by his ears. 

So Louis starts the game with a victory, having creating four pairs of various numbers. Until Harry tries to cheat and Louis is pushed to extreme precautions to protect his glory. He clambers onto Harry's lap, bracketing his thighs and forcing a cushion between there tummy's to serve as a table. 

"Got any sevens?" Harry asks. 

"Goldfish." Louis responds honestly and watches Harry pick a card. "Eights?"

"Bloody Hell." Harry hands over the eight of clubs and Louis cheers when he matches it to the spades, diamonds and hearts. 

"Fives?" Louis goes again.

"Goldfish." Harry says and Louis picks a card. "Threes?"

"Here." Louis hands over his card, squirming a little in Harry's lap before crossing his ankles behind the taller man's back. 

"Kings?" Harry asks. 

"Goldfish."

"We should make this game more interesting." Harry proposes. 

"I like the conventional method." Louis takes both their hands and shuffles it back into the master deck. 

"Lou?" Harry's hands come to rest on the small of said boy's back. 

"Hmm?" He balances a falling card on his thumb so he doesn't have the task of having to pick it up. 

"I have to go somewhere tomorrow....with the man who was here."

"Okay." Louis pecks his cheek. "Have fun. It'll give me a chance to get you your Christmas present."

"But.....-"

"But?"

"When I come back, I don't want you to look at me differently."

"You're scaring me. You aren't joining a cult or something, right?"

"No cult." Harry breathes out a laugh. "I have to do a couple of things already for my boss and I might come back with new tattoos-"

"Are you asking permission?"

"No, um- Am I?"

Louis laughs whole-heartedly with his head thrown back. "You aren't and I won't stop you. Just make sure I can still make you out when you return. I like your skin."

Harry smiles and brings Louis in by the neck for a kiss. "You'll still love me?"

"As long as you come back to me, you can count on my love." _Even if you didn't, I would._

Harry's happiness doesn't flicker in doubt and Louis decides to have a nap because a day-in is supposed to be spent like so. Harry amusedly let's himself be dragged to the bedroom and they strip in record time before slipping under the covers. Louis is the greatest cuddler, and Harry takes great pleasure in knowing he's secretly a cuddler too. 

Harry doesn't fall asleep as quickly as Louis does, and he knows why. Louis doesn't have to worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow Harry will become one of Rupert's men, which means all those markings. Harry's seen his other men and knows how far they went with tattoos. It was revolting so as to keep unwanted attention away, but all it did was leave those men with empty lives and more aggravating attention.   
Harry would put his foot down and refuse to have his skin messed up that bad, especially after Louis' request. He still worried about Louis leaving him and took every word very seriously. 

"I know you're awake." Louis is hidden in Harry's neck and the movement of his lips makes Harry's skin sizzle. 

"I am. Why are you?" Harry pinches Louis' side and the boy squirms. 

"What's on your mind?"

"Nothing important."

"It's important to keep you up."

Harry sighs. "Me, not you."

"So you mean if something was _really_ bothering me, you just wouldn't care?"

Harry tried to act not stumped. "No."

"Precisely." Louis shuffles around so he's facing Harry without a strain in his neck, folding his hands over Harry's chest and resting his chin on it. "So spill."

Harry tucks Louis' fringe back into place. "Global warming is such-"

"Harry!" 

"Louis, I don't.....I _can't_ tell you."

"Why not?"

"It's a need-to-know status, my job."

"I need to know whether you're putting yourself in harm's way, Harry. I'd like to know you'll be coming back to me every night."

"I promise I will, Lou."

"Please tell me, unless you don't trust me."

"I trust you and that's why I can't do this to you. No one who's ever had my job, has told anyone."

"Harry, aren't I the exception?"

"You are, my love. For everything else."

Louis' shoulders slump and he pulls away from Harry. Might as well start now because this is always how it started, in every tragedy novel Louis' read. Harry won't tell him a tiny detail now, and then the secrets would build up until he isn't the person he was. Louis wanted no barriers, Harry said he wanted no barriers as well. 

Harry tries to hold on to Louis' waist when the boy turns away and curls into a ball. 

"Lou-"

"You said you wanted nothing restricting between us." Louis cuts him off. "You lied."

"I didn't lie. Louis, if I could tell you I would."

"I don't want us to have secrets before anything even starts."

"This isn't a secret, it's.....-"

"A lie?"

"A job."

"That you can't tell me about."

"I'm sorry, baby." 

"How much do they pay you?"

"Five digits a month."

Louis sucks in a deep breath. "Don't spend the money on me or the apartment."

"Why?"

"I don't want that money involved in our lives."

"But Lou, I'd have earned that money."

"In ways that are horrid enough for you to keep from me."

Harry tried to keep his blood from simmering. "I'm not a criminal."

"Are you the vigilante then?"

He tries so hard. "No. Louis, look at me please."

Louis doesn't and Harry sighs heavily. 

"I know you don't want me out there doing what I have to, but everything is for us. I won't be doing or selling drugs, or prostitution, or robberies-"

"Murder?"

"I'm a debt collector." Harry rushes. "Now I've told you and you can't repeat it."

Louis rolls over to look Harry in the eye. "What kind of debt?"

"Uh...." Harry runs a hand through his hair. "Big ones?"

"You're in the mob now?"

"No." Harry smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Higher."

"No one's higher than the mafia."

"Well, we're going to be in London and our crowd's pretty big."

Now Louis would never fall asleep. "But Harry.....the law-"

"Is on nobody's side. All our cash has legitimate funds and accounts. To the government, we're a software empire."

Louis reaches up and brushes Harry's cheek with the tips of his fingers, such a delicate act to remind his lover that he's here now. "I worry about you."

"Please don't." Harry takes his hand and kisses the knuckles. "You have college and it'll be full time so you don't have to get a job."

"I need a job to pay for tuition."

"I'm there for a reason." Harry takes it as a chance to shift closer. "Let me take care of you."

Louis feels a jab from the inside of his abdomen and he groans softly. 

"Lou?" Harry's eyes flare with panic. 

"Just bubbles." Louis reassures. "I'm fine."

"I'll miss you tomorrow." Harry relaxes and kisses Louis gently on the lips. 

"Just don't come back to me as a billboard because my standards aren't very high but somethings I can't handle."

"Maybe I'll make this permanent." Harry puts Louis' hand flat on his toned pectoral above their matching H&L tattoo. 

"My writing sucks." Louis traces the work of his shaking hand from that faithful carnival night. 

Harry's hand finds Louis' relative mark on his hip and covers it completely with his massive hand. "I'll add some flare."

"Not needed. Old-fashioned is fun." 

"You mean retro."

"I mean vintage."

"I'm sorry but I never asked you what your course in uni was going to be." Harry changes the subject after the thought comes into his head. 

"You're forgiven." Louis turns on his side so his back is facing Harry. 

The older man rolls his eyes, obviously expecting his statement to be answered. He crawls awkwardly over to Louis and envelopes him in a bone-crushing cuddle that makes his lovely victim giggle. 

"So what is it?" 

"It's Engineering."

"Really?" Harry's voice fills with awe. 

"No." Louis laughs. "Zoology with a dash of physics."

"Animal lover."

"All the way, but those animal testing protests are crap. If people don't want us testing out medicine on rats then do we test it on ourselves?"

"I understand that. How many vaccines do we need anyway?"

"Cancer. Ebola. AIDS. Influenza. Jakob's Disease. Asthma. Diabetes. Cancer."

"You said cancer twice."

"It's worth saying twice." Louis sighs. "Gonna need a lot of rats."

"Think we'll ever find 'em?"

"Whoever does find whichever one will be a trillionaire."

Louis feels that slight pinch in his belly again, except it's coming in a sequence now and a little more painful. He bites his tongue and tucks his hands under his pillow for comfort. Harry's cold fingers press against the little pudge of his tummy and adds a bit more pressure. 

_No more seafood,_ he thinks.


	32. Chapter 32

_And I know all these scars will bleed._

***LOUIS' POV***

"It's okay if you leave something behind." Harry tells me, signature smirk plastered on his face. "We can always come back."

"Absolutely not." I argue, double-checking that I had everything. 

I look more-or-less like what I did when I came here last night so that's a good sign, while Harry has conveniently changed clothes and asked me to wear one of his favorite sweaters. It was white and fluffy to the core, totally unlike his exterior verses inside. It hung halfway down to my thighs and had to be folded inward. 

I was carrying the sweater I arrived in, on my arm. "What if I need it?"

"Wear something else." Harry takes my top and folds it, tucking it into a previously empty drawer. 

"Fine. I'm late." I point out, bouncing a little on the balls of my feet before letting out a little yawn. 

"You're amazing, you know that? After a four hour nap, you're still tired enough to yawn."

"I'm always tired enough to yawn. Let's go, Curly."

***NARRATOR'S POV***

Harry didn't need to pack anything and so he didn't. While Louis told his mom and Phoebe all about his and Harry's dates, the other half of the duo was getting picked up in an unmarked Audi. 

"So you didn't go on the ferris wheel?" His mom chose to ignore the television and listen intently to all her son has to say. 

"No. Still afraid of heights." He replies. 

"But you went to the forest?" Phoebe asks. 

"Yup."

"What did you guys eat?" His mom asks. 

"Candy floss. He bought one that tastes like bubblegum and we shared doughnuts too. He ate this type of Indian food. Oh! We had sugar cane juice."

"Sugar cane juice?" Phoebe makes a disgusted face. 

"I know you think it's gross but it's actually better than apple juice."

"Nothing's better than apple juice."

"That's what I thought too." 

"What are those?" She points to his neck. "Did you get hurt?"

Louis frowns and reaches up to his neck, immediately throwing apologetic glances to an oblivious mother. "Yeah. I did."

"Aw. I'm sorry."

"Not your fault, baby girl. So, I heard you found Mr. Fluffles in the basement."

Louis threw all his attention on Phoebe, since he missed his baby sister for the past day and wanted some quality time with her. At dinner he ate more than he usually did and his mom thought it was a sign of recovery. He sent Harry a goodnight message while he was tucked under the covers with Hanayen serving as the space heater. 

_'Goodnight :) Travel safe and come back to me in one recognizable piece. I love you! xx'_

Louis thinks his text messages are too long but he sends it anyway before getting up for a snack from the fridge. 

Harry's phone pings and he ignores it because there was only one person who'd be texting him. The people around him needn't know about Louis. 

Rupert was present to ensure his kinfolk got the best treatment, seeing as Harry just asked and got the job that faithful employees have been vying for all these years. He didn't care about their losses, because he was here to do a job and take cash.   
Tonight though, is when Harry has to accept the multiple markings they force on him. Their flight landed an hour ago in London and now they're all in one tattoo parlour that's been an asset of Rupert's business for ages. 

"Sure you want to give him the package?" A pasty, bald-headed guy with ironically zero tattoos asks Rupert. 

"Yes. Piercings are optional." Rupert replies distractedly. 

"Well, sit down, kid."

Harry glares at the condescending man before sitting down. He isn't nervous and will ask to stop as soon as he felt it was enough. The package was a beyond-crazy deal that included littering Harry's skin further. Harry was certain there'd be no visible skin left. 

There were parts that Rupert's members accepted to kiss his ass, but that Harry would say no to. The piercings, for example. Harry wasn't becoming a stale punk from high school so he wouldn't take pieces of prone metal being stuck into his skin. 

It takes an hour. 

He is under the maleficent needle for a little under an hour, some bits of which were excrutiating and other parts that just stung. His back carried more ink than any other part, because they worked with the scars that were already in place. He didn't allow them to remove or alter any existing tattoos, but did ask for the H&L one to be made permanent.   
The artist was kind enough to do everything with nothing more than mocking. Harry could take that. He wondered what Louis would say. 

Louis slept all but peacefully. His body temperature kept escalating before it plummeted and he'd woken up thrice in cold sweats, two of the times he'd just changed his shirt.   
His stomach twisted and his forehead constantly maintained a neat sheen of glistening sweat. Louis was forced to turn on the airconditioner, before wrapping himself in blankets for a portion of a good sleep. 

For breakfast he has six strips of bacon and four eggs, almost double his usual dose. 

"Hungry today, are we?" His dad teases while fixing his watch. 

"Yup. But I've been a little feverish so maybe I'll see the doctor today." Louis replies. 

"Oh? Want your mom or I there?" 

"Nah. Thanks but it's probably just the flu again."

"Yeah? Okay. See you guys later then." 

"No school today for Phoebe, right?" He asks his mom when she walks in moments later. 

"Uh.....yeah. Think so." She's a bit flustered and ocassionally stops on trips to get something, just to rethink her motion. 

"Something wrong?"

"It's uh....this case I'm working on. Had me up for two nights now."

"What's the case?"

"Too close to home for comfort, Lou." She kisses his forehead and dashes out the door with a toast in her hand. 

Louis slides off the stool to get to work on cleaning up the breakfast hurry, not feeling the wave of nausea or pang of muscle twitching. He smiles.   
After the dishes are done and all the opened foods are resealed and stocked away, he decides to take a nap on the couch. No unexplained irritation or warning signs from his body so he's feeling good. 

While browsing through channels, Hanayen hops up on the couch to keep Louis' feet warm and Phoebe stumbles down the steps. 

"You gotta wake up before coming downstairs, Phoebs." He jokes. 

"I'm hungry." She rubs her eyes. 

"Did you brush your teeth?"

"Yes."

"How about scrambled eggs then?"

"Cool."

"New vocab?"

"A little."

He guides her by her tiny hand to the kitchen and whips up two goodlooking eggs for her breakfast. Doing that, he also mentally creates a To Do List. He'd have to place the order for all his textbooks using the brochure and catalogue from his Kings College package. Maybe Marie could go shopping with him today, to get some new clothes and books. 

Phoebe washes her own dishes because she's the ideal daughter, while Louis lounges in the living room. He left his phone upstairs in his bedroom and so didn't see the responding text from Harry, informing him of the extension of his stay in London. 

"Do you need anything for school?" He asks his little sister. 

"Paint." She immediately answers. "Mom's too busy to take me and I didn't ask Daddy."

"Wanna go now?"

"Okay!" She's already pushing off the couch. 

"Dress up warm!" He reminds her as he follows. "It's freezing outside."

"Okay." She enters her room with a promise to be back out in ten minutes. 

Louis goes into his own room, swapping his shirt for a more presentable one and keeping his slacks on. He wasn't trying to impress anyone, mainly because the person he'd fight to impress wasn't even in town. He unplugs his iPhone from the stubborn charger and reads the text staring at him. 

_'Goodnight, my love. Well goodmorning now :) Lou, I have some news. I'm going to be a while longer here than I first thought. I'm sorry.'_

Louis' brows meet in the middle after the third time of reading the message. He's flash-like wuick to respond. 

_'It's okay :) I miss you xx'_

There's no response because Harry isn't allowed to use his phone while in Warehouse 13 where the screams went unexplained.   
Louis tucks the device into his pants pocket and goes to wait for his sister. He decides against calling Marie because it's a weekday and he knows she's working. 

Living in Middleston has multiple advantages, like there wasn't really a need for credit cards because everyone knew everyone else. Like now, Louis had to insist to pay for Phoebe's paint pack instead of creating an account for no reason. 

She accompanies him to the book store where he picks out several titles to assist his university journey. He asks especially for the Study & Master - Cambridge biology, chemistry and physics packs. Louis was never one to be idle unless it was a boring day and he was extremely tired. Keeping busy made him happy because there was a focus and no drifting. 

"Need any books?" Louis asks his sister. 

"I need my new Daniella book." She answers. "I'll go get it."

Louis escapes to the Sci-Fi section where he sits cross-legged on the floor. He had enough books to drown in, and just wanted more. He skips the thin novels with font sizes of above 8. He could get the Michael Grant series, so he does.   
He takes a steady breath when a shock runs up his spine, so powerful that it knocks the air out of him. 

"Louis?" Someone speaks from the far end of the isle. 

"Hmm?" He doesn't even look up because he had two more sentences for the blurb to end. 

"Louis." 

He lifts his head and squints against the back lightbulb. "Yeah?"

"It's Daniel, if you can't see." The bloke is laughing before dropping down next to Louis. 

"Oh. Hi." 

"Hi. What're you doing here?"

"Um....getting books?"

The song selection changes and Selena Gomez starts singing in the background about the heart wanting what it wants. Louis smiles because this was another one of his misfit favorites, his fingers tapping his knee to the clicking beat. 

"Boyfriend here too?" Daniel pulls Louis out of his bubble. 

"No actually. He's gone somewhere." Louis takes another a book from the shelf. 

"Where?"

"Don't know. Does it really matter?"

"Shouldn't it?"

And the tense silence picks up again, making Louis fidgety. Daniel meant nothing by his question, but now there's a seedling in the back of Louis' frantic subconscious. Why _didn't_ Harry ever tell him where he was going?

There's another one of those shock spirits that add vibrations where the sensitive nerve ends should remain untouched. 

"Louis!" Phoebe comes down the isle with three hardcovers. 

"Bub?" He pulls her against his side. 

"I can't choose." She pouts, displaying the choices. 

"Take all then."

"I can?"

"If you're going to read them and not leave 'em to collect- ouch-" He holds onto his front when one wave is just too much and he feels true agony for a split-second. "-dust."

"Are you okay?" Daniel is suddenly very concerned. 

"Y-Yeah. Flu, I think."

"Flu doesn't do that, mate. Let's get you to a doctor."

"I'm fine. I am." Louis feels like his insides are fighting to come out through the seven layers of flesh. It makes his bottom lip quiver because _it hurt._

"You're sweating. Call me crazy but we're going. Gonna help me, Phoebe?" Daniel looks at Louis' worried sister. 

"Yeah. Let's go, Lou." She bosses them both to the car and insists that Louis does nothing but just sit. 

They arrive at the hospital because that's nearer, but all Louis is concerned with is the books he left to be taken by other greedy hands. He's immediately taken in on a gurney for an assessment while Daniel calls his parents. 

Harry wipes his brow with the back of his hand, tightening the bandana because his curls were threatening to spill over. He's finished all training of sorts and is ready to go home, except Rupert wants to test his loyalty already and decided to assign him a job. 

He's negotiated with Rupert and paid a visit to the apartment Louis and he will be sharing. It was ideal for the tiny lad and Harry knew he'd fall in love with it after stepping inside. There was a narrow balcony with a fitted couch at the end, a major wall-to-wall shelf at the threshold of their lounge. The stairs led up to two bedrooms, a master ensuite and guest bedroom with separate bathroom. The living room had three column windows that would easily accommodate a flatscreen above shallow shelves.   
Harry's office was his favorite feature, it was joined to Louis' study by a single wall. It was pricey and worth every last penny. 

Rupert saw it too and decided to just rent out the place below them, making it where Harry's job neccessities will be housed. In Harry's office the wall had to broken and a door was placed there as easy access to that room. 

The apartment was unfurnished and Harry made sure to leave a man working under him now, with the duty of making certain that was changed by the time he got back. The entire apartment was bugged and Harry only objected to bugging their bedroom. 

He's outside a complex by Boudeux Street, and had three men flanking him. He didn't disguise himself because all he needed to do was go in and go the money owed to Rupert. 

His pocket vibrates and Harry curses, fishing it out and hitting Ignore. He recognised Louis' contact and made a top priority reminder to call him back as soon as he got out. 

"Let's go." He tells the men and they go in, Harry's finger twitching by the trigger of the Uzzi. 

Louis dialed him again and the line was dead again. He weakly shoved the phone away and fell against his pillow. Harry ignored his call, cutting him off before even answering with a reason. Louis was paranoid, but every thought hurt his head more. He _needed_ to talk to Harry because what the doctor said could not go ignored. 

Harry's target was German, living alone and in his mid-sixties. He didn't have the money and Harry was too anxious to wait around. He asked his men to search and price the house before taking care of the owner. 

Louis fell asleep for the fifth time, but woke up two minutes after to hurl into a bin just for him. He was sweating and unable to keep food down. His mom was trying Harry but there was no response. Even she had begun to think that the man abandoned her son, right after getting what he wanted. Turned out that physical intimacy they shared had dire consequences. 

Louis groaned and mumbled a request for food, only to be hushed and sung to sleep again. 

Harry sighed and nodded to his mean after clean-up. 

"Take what you want." He says, cleaning the nozzle of the gun. "He won't need it anyway."

They started tearing down the place while Harry stepped outside and turned on his phone, panicking after seeing a mere thrity-seven missed calls. He hurriedly dials the only number on that list. 

A female, Louis' mom answers. "Harry."

"Yes. I was busy and didn't-"

"Louis' right here."

There's some shuffling and whispered voices before Louis comes on. "'Arry?"

Harry's heart clenches at the strain in Louis' voice. "Lou."

"Harry." And he's crying, making Harry feel so helpless. 

"Louis. Baby, what's wrong?"

"Harry, you have to...." He stops to take a breath. "You have to leave m-me."

"Leave you? Why are you saying that?"

"Be-Because I'm....sick."

"We all get sick, Lou-"

"No. Not like me. I-I'm so sorry."

"Baby, calm down. Breathe for me. I'm coming back, right now."

"No!" Louis coughs. "Don't. You can't see me like this. Don't come here."

Harry's already jogging down the steps like it would get him closer to his love. He speeds down the highway towards the airport, not concerned with anything he's leaving behind. 

"Stay there." Louis weases. "If you come back, you won't love me."

"Lou, I'm coming back and you're scaring me-"

"I'm...I'm pregnant."

Harry brakes so quickly that there are skid marks on the road. "You're joking."

"See." Louis' sobbing again. "Bye Harry."

**_[A/N: Here's[Lou & Harry's apartment](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B17NOJ9IgAAZSxO.jpg) if you can't see it in the Media section.]_ **


	33. Chapter 33

**_[A/N: I took a break from studying Chemistry to write this chapter. Phew. So what do you think about their apartment? Here's a hug to you all because you're all my pillars of strength. I love you guys so very much :) xx]_ **

_This time I'm ready to run. Escape from the city and follow the sun._

***NARRATOR'S POV***

Louis has ignored the constant ringing of his phone on the bedside counter until it stopped. His cheeks burned from the sting of hot salt water, his body ached everywhere and he was hungry. He really wanted a bath but there was no energy to do that, he wanted to sleep more than anything else but the inward abuse from his abdomen was killing him. 

Harry didn't believe him and why did he even think Harry would? It was a freaking absurd occurrence. 

"Hi, Louis." His doctor walks in, ahead of his flustered and bothered mother. 

He just looks up without a word. Talking hurt. 

"I imagine you want more of an explanation?"

He nods with a sad smile. 

"Well, I wish I could I tell you everything. I can't."

Louis' heart jumps to his throat, clawing at the moist innards until it hurt unbearably. 

"You see, you're the first in.....many, many years to be a case of male pregnancy. You've heard about the artificial implants men in bigger cities have been getting?"

"Yes but Louis didn't have a surgery like that." His mother intervenes. 

"Yes, I know. With him, this is all natural. It wasn't detected earlier on because none of it was activated. How many times have you had sex, Louis?"

Louis wishes he had enough energy to blush. "T-Two."

"And one of those times, the most recent, was without a condom?"

Louis nods slowly. 

"That's it. Your partner was very...healthy and able to get you pregnant. Not every man in Middleston has this condition, Louis. There was a sickness going around-"

"Louis wasn't born then." His mom intercepts again. 

"-about twenty years ago. You're almost twenty yourself? Your mom fell pregnant with you around that time and that means you got it from your father."

"His father didn't have it. He didn't have Pro-Ill."

"Pro-Ill is the name of the sickness. It was because of the collapse of a radiation plant not far away. It made strange things happen to people and animals alike."

Louis nods, frowning while he tried to understand. "W-Where'd I get it?"

"Like I said, it was your father. There were only two female Pro-Ill cases."

"D-Dad?" Louis looks to his mother, who's leaning against the wall with her face covered. 

"Your father has always been clean, Louis." The doctor explains. "It wasn't him that gave you the gene."

Now Louis is really confused. 

"I'll leave you two alone." He excuses himself. 

"M-om? What's he s-saying?"

"He's saying your dad isn't your father, Louis."

"He's lying, right?"

She looks up with glossy eyes and a guilty look in her expression. "I'm so sorry, Lou."

"What?"

"He is your dad. Ed is your father."

"No he isn't."

"He is. Lou-"

"You lied to me!"

"No, Louis. It was before your Dad, I promise. He met me when I was already pregnant with you and then we got married."

"Who's my real father?"

"Does it matter?"

Louis looks away, staining the pillow with more tears. His father could be anyone that's been around him all these years. How could he not know? 

"He wasn't nice, Lou. I was young and so stupid. You were the only good thing that came from that relationship."

"Is he....-"

"He's alive but moved away just before you were born. He....He worked as the manager of the plant."

Louis feels like the air's been punched out of his hurting lungs when a fresh wave of sadness rains over him. 

"I'm sorry, baby." She sits on his bed, where he lies on his front, and brushes his hair away. 

"Doesn't matter anymore." He finally speaks, more like croaks. "I don't want to know him."

"Twenty years ago I would have objected to that."

"Can I know his name?"

She sucks in a deep breath. "Not right now. You should sleep."

"Mom?"

"Yeah, Lou?"

"Harry.....won't want the baby."

"Did you tell him?"

"Yes. He thought I was lying."

"It's not everyday a man gets pregnant." She kisses his forehead before smiling. 

"Boy."

"Man."

"Mom?" He nearly whimpers because his eyes _burned_ and his throat hurt so much. 

"Hmm?"

"I don't want him to come back just to tell me he doesn't want me anymore."

"Aw, Lou."

He opens his arms to hug her because he's a mommy's boy and this day has been a terribly emotional one. His body was killing him from the inside, making everything painful and swollen. He just wanted to eat and sleep, but had to live with water and glucose supplements. 

There's a knock on the door. "Excuse me. Louis, there's someone here-"

Someone large and rude pushes past the nurse to get through. The curly locks are identifiable anywhere and Harry looks up, out of breath. Louis wants to break down again because here comes what he was afraid of. He clings to his mother who tries to get away. 

"Talk." She whispers to him. "And listen to him too."

He looks at her with an injured puppy look before she leaves, closing the door. 

Louis looks up at Harry with frightened but slightly intrigued eyes, because he can see the tips of Harry's new ink on his neck. Harry looks angry but a little worried himself after seeing Louis so vulnerable on the bed like that. 

"How'd you get h-here so fas-st?" Keeping his head up is beginning to hurt. 

"I flew. Private plane."

"Where were you?"

"London."

Louis wants to cuddle him because he looked like he needs one too but Harry was here to break it off with him. 

"Say it please." Louis blurts. "So I don't have to wait and imagine-"

"I want the baby, Lou." Harry says. "Your doctor spoke to me outside while I was trying to get in. I'm so sorry I didn't believe you on the phone."

Louis reaches his hand out through blurry vision and grabs Harry's wrist because they've been far apart for too long. "You'll stay?"

"Every day." Harry lowers his face to Louis' level. "I promised you that, didn't I?"

"No one really expected this." Louis points to his tummy. "Oops baby."

Harry chuckles and kisses his boy square on the lips. "Scoot over."

Louis does so eagerly and let's Harry slip in behind him sans his shoes. He leans back against Harry's chest and hears a break in his breathing. Louis thanks the Gods for giving him a tall boyfriend. 

"What did they say?" Harry asks, kissing Louis' neck to comfort him. 

"Said I had two options." Louis' head rolls onto Harry's shoulder. "Give him up or keep him."

"And?"

"Chose to keep him, even if you didn't come back."

Louis wraps both his arms around Harry's bicep, feeling safe when it was wound around him. 

"I'll always come back, meine Liebe."

Louis genuinely smiles, eyes finally closing. "What does that mean?"

"My love." Harry kisses the sweaty spot of his temple. "It's German."

"German." Louis echoes. "Harry?"

"Love?"

"You're not.....lying, are you?"

"Lying about what?"

"About wanting this. The baby. Me."

"I am beyond sure that I want you in my life, Louis Tomlinson. Now you're a single miracle and about to have a child, my child. There's honestly nothing you can do that will make me leave."

"Really?" Louis looks up for reassurance, blinking away the tears and learning to ignore the burn in his belly. 

"Every last word is the utmost truth."

"I found out something today." Louis whispers. 

"What was that?"

"My Dad?"

"Hmm."

"Isn't my father."

Harry stiffens. "Oh Lou-"

"It's okay though. He's always been my dad and I don't want to know my biological father."

"Do we know him?"

"No but he gave me this gene. Doctor said it was kinda like a cancer cell, didn't show up until it was triggered."

"It's been a terrible day for you. I'm a horrible boyfriend for not sharing it with you."

"You're here now." Louis feels Harry's pulse with the tip of his cold nose. "Just don't leave."

"Cross my heart, pup."

Louis grins, but doesn't ask for a kiss because he'd been throwing up so much. Harry saves him the request and leans in for a prolonged kiss of sweet unity. 

"Ew." Louis turns to wrap himself around Harry. His arms snuck around the bigger man's neck and his bare legs tucked themselves between Harry's for warmth. 

"What's ew?"

"You kissed me when I have bad breath."

"Doesn't bother me." Harry admits. 

"Sap." Louis finally feels content. "I like when you speak German."

"Loopy?"

Louis feels Harry's hand travel low to his middle, flattening his palm on Louis' soon to be taut skin. "Missed you."

"I missed you far more."

"Why were you in London?" 

"I had a job and I went to see the apartment."

"What's it like?"

"It's perfect for us. There are two bedrooms even, now for the baby." Harry feels Louis smile against his neck. "There's a little sofa on the balcony for you. A study. There's a huge bookshelf too."

"Sounds like Heaven."

"Our Heaven." Harry kisses Louis' forehead. 

Louis coughs and pulls away, feeling that bile build up inside again and he hunts for the bin before heaving into it. Nothing comes out because he hasn't eaten anything. 

Harry rubs his back and combs his hair with his fingers. "What do you need?"

"Food. I'm starving."

"I'll get you something."

"They won't let me eat yet. They need to do this scan and for that, I need to be empty."

"I'm sorry." He hugs Louis. 

"While I get the scan, can you smuggle me some food from across the street. There's this burrito place I want to try."

"I'll try, meine Liebe."

There's another knock on the door and Louis groans. "Make them go away, Harry. I'm tired."

"Can I help you?" Harry directs his irritation to the nurse by the door. 

"Louis needs to get the ultrasound done now." She smiles politely. "They're waiting out here."

Louis' ears perk up. "Ultrasound?"

"To see our baby, Louis." Harry says, almost in disbelief himself. 

"Want us to come back?" The nurse hated ruining their moment. 

"No. Let's do this now." Louis answers. 

The gynaecologist walks in with three other medical professionals, and Harry is asked to get off the bed so the sheets can be changed. Louis is made to sit back on after, and a cold gel is spread over his front. 

His mom is there, smiling. Harry holds his hand and sometimes kisses his knuckles for simple shows of affection. 

"Alright. I'm trying to find your baby now." The woman speaks, sweet smile and gentle approach on full blast. 

"There." She points to a little white dot on the fuzzy screen and everyone peers closer. 

Louis seems him - he has a solid feeling it's a son - and smiles brightly at the discovery. It's just a bunch of packed cells but it was half Harry and half himself, creating a new life. 

"I'll print the photos and have them sent here, okay?" She leaves with her team. 

Louis' doctor stays. "Happy tears, Louis?"

He didn't notice he was crying until it was pointed out. He nods while Harry gets tissues to clean Louis off. "Very happy."

"Good. So this room is private, and you can now eat. Keep it healthy though, okay?"

"I'll make sure of that." Harry answers first. 

"Are you the dad?"

"I am."

"Congratulations, Mr...?"

"Styles. Harry Styles." Harry shakes hands with the good doctor. 

"Congratulations, Harry. No pregnancy miracle is quite like this one."

Harry smiles at Louis before being taken outside to discuss the specifics of Louis' routine. 

"He'll be given a seven day prenatal vitamin boost. It just got here from overseas and they're a very special kind. He can't leave the hospital until the dose is complete." The doctor explains. "He needs to eat four times a day and as he gets better, needs to exercise in some way. Simple walks. He needs lots of sleep but can't be doing just that. Will you be here the entire time?"

"As long as he wants me here."

"Then that'll be a while. Now, he may show signs of hormonal reactions. That's normal. The process of conception has been sped up since he is a male, and the zygote should be about two days old but it's sitting on a week, maybe two. That's fine. Any questions?"

"Yes. What are the chances of he delivering this baby?"

"He has very good chances. No male pregnancy was unsuccessful thus far."

"Doctor, we're moving to London next month and can't keep coming back for appointments."

"I see. Air travel is bad for him and the baby. It's okay, I have a friend in London who will love to have Louis as his patient. He'll be in good hands there. I'll give him a call now."

"Thank you. His name?"

"Joshua. Joshua Stanley."

Harry never came across the name before. "Alright. When can he leave, you say?"

"After seven days. Even then, he needs to rest and not stress himself out."

Louis watched Harry and the doctor talk seriously outside the room. Harry asks the question and is expressionless through the answer, except the last question he asks before leaving. He's smiling then.   
His mother says she'll be back soon with his Dad and Phoebe, before leaving the two boys alone. 

"Gotta shower, Lou." Harry says firmly when Louis tries to pull him back to the bed. 

"Harry." Louis sticks his bottom lip out. 

"I'll go get you your burrito while you bath."

"I'm supposed to bath alone?"

"I'll be gone for three minutes, Lou." Harry assures him, his hand cupping the boys cheek as he bends. 

"Two." Louis pouts and Harry thinks he can never get sick of Louis wanting him around all the time. 

"One even." Harry kisses his lips. "Be right back, pup."

Harry leaves for the whole of ten minutes and returns to Louis' room with enough food for them both. He is stunned by the sight before him. 

Louis is crying into his pillow, gripping it tightly in his little fists as he babbles into the soft object. A young female nurse tries to talk to him but he doesn't hear any of it. She looks up at Harry for help. 

"I'm here. You can go." He says and she leaves. 

"Lou?" Harry strips off his jacket and drapes it over the back of a chair. He sits on the bed and pulls the cover up to Louis' waist. "Okay, love?"

"You said two minutes." Comes his reply. 

Harry sighs. "I'm sorry, my-"

"Don't sigh." Louis looks up. "Are you tired of me already?"

Harry smiles because Louis was so _dependant_ on him for everything, and Harry wouldn't have it any other way. He knew Louis needed these words from him and he wouldn't deny him. He will keep Louis close and love him forever. 

***HARRY'S POV***

Louis had finally given in to the wonders of slumber at three in the morning when I was running on fumes. He tried not to be demanding, but it was hard not to when he couldn't move from the bed. 

"Will you sleep now?" I ask, gently brushing his hair aside. 

"With you, I might." Is the croaking reply. 

I smile and kiss his forehead. "I will join you when I come back."

"Promise?"

"Promise, meine Liebe." I kiss the tiny portion of skin visible by his front. "Sleep in the meantime."

I step out into the hallway to call Rupert. He needed to know the finer details of the job that was completed earlier.   
Louis' family had left because they had obligations tomorrow, while I ensured Louis' room privileges included allowing me to stay the entire night. 

"What?" Rupert barks, immediately after answering. 

"That German guy had no cash on him. Sent everything to cover his debt with the men." I say, ignoring his tone. 

"Oh, Harry. Yes, good. Are you still here? The men said you just took off."

"I'm back in Middleston, borrowed your plane actually."

"Do so whenever you want. You're family."

"Thanks."

"Your apartment will be done by Christmas and I won't assign you to any new jobs until you're here permanently. That okay?"

"Yes. That's fine."

"So why'd you go back so quickly?"

"Had to. Louis' sick."

"Oh. Well I send him my best wishes."

"Don't get soft now, Uncle."

"Not soft, concerned. You could take my empire with a bullet, young Harry. I won't upset you."

"I don't want your empire, Rupert."

"What we do is even out the playing field. It's a beautiful job and you'll come to love it too."

"Killing isn't art."

"Mindlessly, nothing is art. When something is premeditated and carefully woven, it is glorious."

"You're a demented old man."

"And you are my nephew. Will you never trust me?"

"When I find a reason to, I will."

"Then I will supply one. We are family, Harry. The only two in this....industry. We must have each other's backs."

I sigh, becoming frustrated and impatient. "I will talk to you next when I'm in London. Do not call me."

I hang up and feel the itch in my palm, triggered by thickening hot blood and a hatred for spiteful kin. I want to toss my phone away, hurl it out the window or into a wall just to get him away from my mind but that's useless. 

Rupert left my family when we needed him as a support system. He sent money every month until I found out how he earned it, and started sending it back. He didn't stop and neither did I. He bought us ridiculous things to win us over, and now he was creeping up the vine of satisfaction about the fact that I worked for him. 

"Back so soon, Harry?" Someone feminine speaks. 

The floor is almost empty, save for a few nurses that were on night duty. I spun around and came face-to-face with Edith. 

"A hello would be nice." She continues. "Common courtesy never killed a man." She laughs. "Oh, but you did."

I stiffen and point my back to Louis' door, blocking it from her. I had long since come to terms with the fact that I lost control and became a real monster, now not needing pretences and false impressions. I was one individual with multiple flaws. 

"Oh." She looks through the windows of Louis' room. "Yes, I know why he's here. Got knocked up. Quite the case for the kiddy doctors here."

I don't say anything, instead watch her walk in circles before me. 

"I honestly thought you'd come back for me. Needed my help again." She confesses. "Do you?"

"No."

"Too bad. They asked about Dr. Michaels, you know. I had to say I didn't know anything."

I nod. 

"You look pale, Harry. Is Louis giving you pains already?"

I tighten my jaw and scowl at her. "I do not need you anymore, Edith. Whatever you keep asking me for is invalid. Leave us alone."

"Is it that easy for you? Committing a murder and moving on."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You don't-"

"Look at this." He pulls the collar of his T-shirt away from his throat, baring a cross rose tattoo for her to see. "You see it?"

Her answer is shaky. "I do."

"Then now you know I won't stand for your threats." I step closer, towering over her and making her shrink back in on herself. "What I can do- correction, _will do_ if you continue to make yourself known to me, will twist your biggest fears for fun. I'm _not_ like before and I will never be afraid of you. You dare come near Louis or I again, and you have my word that I will fucking _end_ you."

I never got the time to gauge and enjoy Edith's trembling form, fuelled by rising fear. 

"Harry?" A small voice calls me from behind. 

I turn around and Louis is standing there, clutching the door handle with a tight fist and his other holding his front. Horror leaves me in waves as he whimpers and my eyes fall to his abdomen, covered in fresh blood. 

**_[A/N: Oh dear.....don't be mad. It just came to me. I realised that by this chapter in the first book, drama was nearly over and it was almost concluding. No worries, this book has some mileage on it. AND O.O u guys are so utterly fantastic! Like DM me your addresses so I can visit you with gifts or something. You're all so supportive of this story and I could never, ever (ever) dream that you would. It's mind-blowing for me._ **


	34. Chapter 34

_I will take what is mine in fire and blood._

***NARRATOR'S POV***

Louis had been in surgery for two hours and Harry was going bald with the stress. He was so afraid of a doctor coming out and saying that there had been a miscarriage, even more afraid that something had happened to his love. He called Louis' parents and they were waiting with him as well outside the OR for any word. 

At six in the morning, when the night shift workers were heading home, someone came up to them dressed in slightly bloody scrubs. 

"Harry?" The doctor says and Harry's head snaps up. 

"What happened?" Harry stands with Louis' parents. "How is he?"

"I'm glad to report that surgery went well and he's okay."

"The baby?"

"The baby is fine too." At that, everyone's tense energy releases. "Louis' womb was out of place and needed to be put where it won't inflict injury on any other organ system. It's understandable considering his body never made room for a female reproductive house.   
His recover will take as long as it does, we're not sure at the moment because we didn't handle something like this ourselves before. Harry, you'll be with him.....at all times?"

Everyone looks at the man before receiving his nod. "I will."

"And you are his parents, you must know this as well. Louis will be on his imported vitamins for seven days, as well as some new prescription to lessen his pain and help get the recovery along. He needs to eat even if he says he isn't hungry. He must drink eight litres of water a day. Hold back the exercise until I get back to you, keep him in bed and allow him to rest. I understand he's moving to London in January?"

"He is." His mother answers. "If that's still okay."

"Louis' operation wasn't severe and he will be able to fly but as soon as he hits three months, try to keep air travel to none. My friend has agreed to take him on in London, where the assistance will be greater. Louis is strong, I see that in him all the time."

They all knew the doctor was referring to the amount of times Louis has been to the hospital and come out again. He was strong enough to survive these things, but his mind was still a little dependant, weak for him to keep away from coming back entirely. 

Harry felt so much sympathy for his boy, who was still so fresh and young but always had a blow to his spirit. Louis needed to escape all of this, go someplace new where he could grow and adapt. Louis needed to be happy, and with Harry. 

"Can we see him?" Ed asks, he was silent all the while but his knee never stopped shaking. 

"You can. Only two people in the room at a time please." The doctor says before guiding them down a hall for recovering patients. 

It was wide and had several rooms for more than one person, but Harry refused to have Louis share with another ill person. He was fitting the bill after much debate with Louis' mother, so he got to make sure Louis was always comfortable. 

He let Louis' parents go in because they had to leave in twenty minutes while Harry would stay the night. Perks of demanding a private room. He watched from outside, peeking through the thin shades as he leaned against the glass pane window.   
Harry could see Louis lying in the hospital bed, slipping in and out of consciousness thanks to the anaesthetics he was on. There was a nasal drip restricting his nose, and his IV had several components. 

Louis smiled weakly when he saw his parents, having them bend down so he can whisper. Harry was patient, knowing Louis needed this time with his family, until Louis' dad stepped out to talk to him. 

"You take such good care of him." Ed says, shoving his hands in his pockets. 

Harry noticed how Ed's eyes flickered to the various tattoos on his neck, arms, wrists and peeking chest but said nothing. 

"Does it surprise you?" Harry straightens his shoulders.

"Truth be told, it does."

"Why?"

"Because what you do for him, makes the rest of us feel inadequate." Ed laughs under his breath. 

Harry cocks his head to the side a little, but feeling proud at hearing people took notice of the way he valued Louis. 

"He deserves someone like you." Ed looks around them. "But people like you need to be genuine in order for me to trust them."

"People like me?"

"Yes. You make my son feel special, and then you don't want to anymore."

"Sir-"

"No. Don't call me that. I'm Ed and you're Harry. I know you have good intentions, but your reputation demeans you. Louis is fragile and you're strong enough for the both of you. I don't generalise and so I won't group you with the idiots I mentioned before."

Harry gives him a slight smile. "I would never have fought this hard for Louis if I planned to give him up. With all due respect, Si- Ed. I have done nothing wrong to your family ever intentionally hurt anyone. I don't appreciate your doubts but I see that they are rational. Do you trust me with Louis' hand?"

"I would trust you with every one of my possessions. I won't threaten you because I can't deliver on one, but I'm going to ask you for a favour."

"Anything."

"My wife has been through a lot with Louis, all of us have. When you take him with you to London, I ask that he become your number one priority. He loves easily and breaks just as easily. Don't hurt him."

Their moment is cut short when a nurse comes by to inform them that their extended visiting hours are over. Ed nods and turns away. 

"Ed." Harry grabs his attention again. "How do I guarantee you that I will keep him happy?"

"By doing it. Goodnight, Harry."

Harry drops his half raised hand. "Goodnight."

He's allowed back into Louis' room where the boy is waiting, hardly awake, for him. Louis reveals bits of his teeth when he smiles and shakily reaches out. He wasn't sweating but looked so drained, eyes half-lidded and chest rising slowly in shallow breaths. 

Harry immediately goes nearer, pushing the chair aside and taking Louis' hand. "Meine Liebe."

Louis rests back against the pillows, eyes closed. "That's me."

"How do you feel?"

"Great." He croaks before coughing dryly, Harry felt a pang in his chest. 

"Oh lovely." Harry kisses Louis' forehead. "Rest."

"Was waiting for you."

Harry pats Louis' blanket. "May I?"

Louis nods and let's Harry draw back the covers, hissing quietly at the contact of cold wind and heated red skin. 

Harry looks down at the bandage covering Louis' entire middle, from his chest to his hips. It looked loose enough to make it comfortable but still shifty. Louis had trouble breathing with it. 

"Comes off t-tomorrow." Louis says. 

"Shh." Harry doesn't want Louis straining himself. 

He drops his lips to Louis' covered abdomen and kisses the material. "Hello, little one."

Louis would roll his eyes and giggle if he didn't feel that death would come of it. He threads his fingers through Harry's curls and listens. 

"I'm your dad." Harry says. 

"He can't hear us."

"Still like talking to.....him?"

"I think it's a him."

"Oh." Harry turns back to Louis' stomach. "Are you a boy, little one?"

Louis does giggle at that and quickly softens. "I love you."

Harry looks up and stretches forward for an easy kiss. "I love you."

"Can we cuddle?"

"Not tonight." Harry tucks Louis back in. "I have to take care of you from here."

"Okay. I'm tired."

"Close your eyes." Harry kisses the corner of Louis' eye. 

Louis was in too much pain to just sleep now, his eyelids burned and his lower half was engulfed in flame. He felt stiff where his limbs should be and his head was lead heavy. He still lifts up a little to kiss the closest part of Harry, his chin. 

"Does it hurt as bad as I think it does?" Harry questions. 

A trickling tear falls from the corner of Louis' eye that he catches with his thumb. 

"I'm sorry, love. I want to take it from you but I can't."

"The pain is mine for a reason." Louis throws one arm around Harry's neck to keep him in place. 

"We'll have a mini you and me in a few months."

"Are we ready for a baby, Harry? We never even discussed it."

"We aren't right now but in nine months we will be."

"What if it's too hard?"

"Then you'll have me. That's why it takes two to make a baby, Lou."

"I'm not forcing you to stay."

"I'm here out of free will." Harry ignores the discomfort at the base of his spine. 

"You can't leave now. You're mine." Louis says sleepily. 

"All yours, my love." Harry kisses Louis' nose and pulls away to hear his soft snores. 

The morphine must have just kicked in as a lighter painkiller and Louis' exhaustion took over. Harry sets up two hard plastic chairs by Louis' bed and nods off as well, albeit uncomfortably with his head resting on Louis' mattress. 

Louis wakes up, groaning when he tries to sit up and takes in the environment he's in with a pathetic whine. He really wanted to be at home because he's craving prawns. Not the garlic-fried ones that make him want to cry, the batter-covered ones from this little take-away in the city center. It was hidden and not many people knew about it. 

He remembered his surgery and there's a pinch, followed by several more coming from his protesting body. He flexes his fingers and toes, feeling them cold against themselves.   
Upon seeing Harry knocked out next to him, Louis smiles and frowns at the same time. He's happy Harry's here but he looked so uncomfortable that Louis almost woke him up just to drag him into the same bed. 

Louis fingers Harry's curls and the older man awakens with a start. "I'm awake."

"I can see that." Louis jokes. He felt better than how he felt yesterday. This morning.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Better than expected. What about you?"

"Terrible."

"I believe you. C'mere."

"No."

"Harold. I want to hold you."

"Hold my hand then."

"Isn't the same."

"I could hurt you."

"I know you won't." 

Louis sits up and Harry watches him in contempt, waiting for him to settle down again. Louis' back is straight and he leans forward with a wince, waiting for Harry who relents and climbs up. 

"I'm never getting out of here." Harry comments, making Louis fit nicely between his legs. 

"That's the point." Louis turns to kiss his jaw sheepishly. 

Harry leans back against the uplifted mattress and relaxes against it. This is definitely better than two chairs and cramping leg muscles. He closes his eyes, arms around Louis' waist. 

"Better?" Louis whispers in his ear. 

Harry just hums and Louis smiles. He _really_ wanted prawns but then Harry would have to leave and he didn't need that. 

"Haz?" Louis keeps his voice low. 

Harry grunts his response because he was so close to falling asleep again. 

Louis thinks better of his request. "I love you."

Harry's eyes open so green can unite with ocean blue. "As I love you."

Louis sleeps again against Harry's bicep with his tummy rumbling quietly for the deep fried prawns. 

It was ten the same morning when a nurse bustles in bearing fruit and Louis' medicine. 

"Take this, Louis." She instructs, eyeing Harry's sleeping form speculatively. "Boyfriend?"

"Yeah." Louis blushes, handing back the cup empty of six tablets. 

She smiles. "How long's he been here?"

"Since yesterday."

"Sweet." 

Louis smiles at Harry's subconscious act of holding his waist tighter. 

"I have to change your bag." The nurse whispers. 

Louis wants to cry at that because he was made to feel so old and helpless. Stupid enough to need a catheter and tube so he could pee. Truly emasculating. 

He let's her finish up and ignores the attention to his lower region. Harry stirs just after she's left and blinks awake. 

"What time is it?" His voice is groggy and the bags under his eyes are still there, just fainter. 

"Just after ten." Louis resists every urge to snuggle into Harry until he was invisible. He had to remain on his back and still. 

"Did you eat?" 

"Going to."

"Want me to help?"

Louis nods and allows Harry to drag the stand closer with the food. It was just custom fruit and orange juice because real breakfast had to be ordered and paid for. Harry would do that after cleaning himself up. 

"Lou?"

"Yeah?" As if sensing Harry was going to leave, Louis pretends to be asleep on his shoulder. 

"I need to shower."

"Now?"

"That would be nice."

"Oh okay." 

Louis could do nothing but draw forward and let Harry slip out neatly. There was a sting from about his bandages when he did so and immediately settled back into the pillows. 

"Harry?" Louis held the man's wrist. "Don't go for too long."

Harry smiled and kissed Louis. "I'll be back before you can miss me."

"And....-"

"And? Do you need something?"

"I.." Louis bites his own lip. "I want....prawns?"

There was a glint of subtle amusement in Harry's eyes, laced with adoration. "Prawns it is."

"But from this place I used to go before. Center of town."

"I know. I've been there, I think. Small place with a blue neon sign?"

"Yeah." Louis beams because he was finally getting his desired food. 

"Okay." Harry presses his lips to Louis' forehead. "Give me an hour."

Louis wanted to argue but didn't. "Fine."

"Have your bath in the time that I'm gone."

"Sponge bath." Louis corrected. "Like a real oldie."

"You're still very attractive to me. Wouldn't want anyone else."

Harry left shortly after that, and didn't even notice Edith standing a few feet back by the window. She moved there when Harry separated from Louis. She had been watching them for half an hour now, and figured the nurse had seventeen minutes before coming to give Louis his bath. A lot could be done in seventeen minutes.


	35. Chapter 35

**_[A/N: I know this update is a bit irregular. Read the end notes to know why. As much as we all hate them, a time jump must be done :( but it won't be major-major and it won't exclude bits that are important. Read on to settle the hatred u have for me ;D - S xx]_ **

_I think we might be outlaws. I think I might be in love._

***NARRATOR'S POV***

Louis obeyed the strict nurse figure and had a sponge bath, assisted by her. Edith didn't go in, because she knew when a threat was serious and Harry's was definitely not to be pressed. She slid back into her duties and tried not to let the stirring envy grow green. 

Louis' always loved bubble baths. Who doesn't? But when there was another woman there to watch over him the whole time, it became a little creepy. He was constantly fighting to keep as much of his body hidden but there were no suds to help out and the water had salt in it so that burned his wound. 

His mother and sister walk in through the ER entrance, as they always have. Johannah decided against going to work. Phoebe was in the middle of some tests so she had to make it quick. 

"Hi." She greets a particular lady standing by the nurses' station looking bored. 

"Yes?" Edith looks up, smiling as soon as she recognises them. 

"I'm here to see my son. His name is Louis Tomlinson. Is it okay to go in?"

"I'm sure it is. Let me go tell him first."

She makes them wait at the entrance of Louis' ward and goes into his room with a big smile. Louis had just finished getting his shirt-like bandages off and it was being cleaned now. He would bite his lip until it drained of colour. The gash was closed and the skin was stained orange from numbing agents.   
The white gauze was wrapped around just where the scar would be and the stitches in his private region had to checked on for splitting. They were still in place but that didn't mean he needn't wear the secret pad in his underwear anyway. He was bound to bleed a little and they didn't want him messing everywhere. 

Louis was utterly humiliated through it all. He felt like the last bit of masculine dignity he had, had been taken away. He was instructed not to use the toilet because it could tear his stitches. 

"You need me, press this red button." The nurse, Lois he learnt was her name, informs him. 

He nods and decides he likes this nurse. She was nice to him. "Thanks, Lois."

The African-American woman gives him a knowing look. "When your boyfriend comes back, try not to hurt yourself."

Louis blushes because _that's not what she meant._

"If you're sharing this bed, be careful. No shoes and I see you smiling, young man. No funny business either. I don't want to walk in here and need to go to confession right after."

Louis laughs louder than he has in a while. "I promise. He's too stubborn anyway."

"That's great because someone needs to look after you." She smiles. 

Edith has had enough of the favouritism and knocks abruptly on the door, her smile dead and glare heightened. 

"Got visitors for him." She says, not looking at the boy. 

"Two at a time." Lois warns and nods. "Send 'em."

Lois leaves and Louis reaches for the remote that controlled the ceiling TV. 

Edith gets it first. "Louis, yes?"

Louis looks up, instantly recognising her and feeling immense anger. It boiled in his throat in the form of sharp words. "What do you want?"

She hands him the remote. "Nothing from you."

Louis didn't know what she meant. 

"Do you know my name?"

"Do you know mine?"

She smirks. "He must admire your cheek."

"He?"

"Harry, who else?"

Louis shifted a bit. "Is this about him?"

"Is what about him?" She shoots back. 

"This." He motions to their general standing. "What you're here for."

"I do not have eyes for him, if that's what you're insinuating." She lies. 

Louis waits. 

Edith sighs and steps back. "I came to make peace."

Louis' eyes widen. "Peace?"

"What I did before.....it could have ruined your relationship with him. He deserves someone who will make him happy." Edith was truthful there. 

Louis thought she was true in her apology. "It's okay."

"Then......friends?" She extends her hand. 

Louis takes it politely. "Friends."

Edith smiled and turned on her heel to leave. Her plan wasn't exactly set in stone and maybe she'd really give up on this ordeal but the vindictive part of her, wouldn't stand for that. 

"You can go in." She tells his family. "I'm bringing his food in now."

She didn't poison anything, no part of her was that petty. No, when she decided to do it, it would be grand. Harry would admire her skill then. 

Harry doesn't have to wait long in the line belonging to Louis' prawn shop. He placed the order and drove home to get showered before returning to pick it up. He was prompt and finished up in fifty-plus minutes. 

Louis took his tablets and ate the peanut cookie with boxed orange juice for breakfast. 

"Want half?" Louis offers his sister. "Not one for peanuts."

"Okay." She takes the biscuit and bites into it. "How are you feeling?"

"Honestly?"

Phoebe nods. 

"Like poop."

She giggles before sobering. "I'm sorry, Lou."

"Not your fault, Phoebs."

"Am I really going to be an aunt?"

"Yup." Louis didn't notice but he had his palm on his tummy all this time. 

"But I'm so small."

"Well the baby's not due for nine months. You'll be as old as I am when he comes."

"It's a he?"

"I think so."

Their mother watches fondly from a chair close to the bed. She kept Phoebe from climbing on her brother and hurting him but Louis was very accommodating. 

"What's his name?" Phoebe feels Louis' tummy too even though there's nothing but his regular pudge there. 

"We didn't decide yet." 

"Is Harry excited?"

"Well-"

"I am." A deep voice speaks from the door. 

Harry stood there in new, clean clothes and a large coat in his hand where Louis' food was hidden. Everyone looked up and Louis smiled at the new arrival. 

"He is." Louis says to Phoebe. 

"Lou?" Phoebe turns to her brother after greeting Harry. 

"Bub?"

"How'd.....how did you end up with a baby?"

And everyone coughs indiscreetly. Louis' mom rises to get the small girl off the bed. "Story for another time, love."

"Oh okay." She considers the answer and smiles. "Bye Lou!"

"Bye, Phoebs!"

"Bye, Lou." His mom kisses his forehead. "Take care. I'll be back later, okay?"

"Okay." He smiles. 

"Got some errands to run but they won't take long."

"It's fine, Mom." 

"Alright. Bye."

"Bye, Mom." 

She leaves, a bit hesitantly but she does because Phoebe was going to be late for the test. 

Harry steps inside, exhaling loudly and coming to Louis' side. "Hello, meine Liebe."

Louis hums and smiles against Harry's lips. "Hi."

"How are you feeling?"

"Better. Doesn't hurt anymore but I hate this disgusting pad."

Harry raises an eyebrow, his lengthy chocolate locks falling forward and tickling Louis' fingertips. 

"Don't laugh." Louis groans. 

"Can I see it?"

"No!" 

"Like a real pad?"

"Yes. Shut up, don't laugh."

Harry reigns in his laughter. "So I can't see it?"

"Pervert."

Harry presses their lips together for a long time. "Peanut?"

"Toothpaste?"

Harry bumps their noses together and stands up straight. "I come bearing food."

"My prawns?"

"Aha."

"I love you so much."

"I know you do." Harry reveals the closed packet and Louis' heart flutters. He's never felt strongly for food before. 

Harry is ordered to join Louis on the bed though he can't be behind the boy anymore, that hurt too much. He slipped in next to him and allowed Louis to rest against his shoulder. 

"Your birthday's coming up." Harry says when Louis' halfway through his yellow veggie rice. 

"Never spent it in a hospital before." Louis mutters. 

Harry kisses his temple. "We can still make it special."

"How?"

"I can take you to the roof. You'll be able to see the tree from there and won't have to leave the hospital."

"There's a pool on the roof."

"Even better." Harry's moved his lips to Louis' neck. 

"I can't swim, Harry." Louis admits. "I never learned."

"I'll teach you then."

"I can't go into pool water with these." Louis points to his front. "Chlorine is bad."

"The pool is salt water."

"Still."

"Still nothing." 

Louis holds the fork up to Harry's mouth, meant as an act of distraction because Louis really didn't want to go into any pool. Harry eats the offering but plans to resume this conversation later. 

Harry throws the container and fork away. "Good?"

"Very. Thank you." Louis whispers the last part. "My saviour."

"Did you take your vitamins?"

"I did."

"Do you need anything?"

"Not right now." 

Louis sees a peeking tattoo crawling up Harry's neck and traces it with his fingertip. He couldn't do anything besides lie on his back or he'll upset the casing around him. 

"I never got to see them." Louis mumbles, his voice quaint like the rest of him. He wanted to curl up like a millipede and just hide there beside Harry. 

"My tattoos?"

"Hmm. Can I?"

"Right now?"

"Why not?"

"Because someone could come in."

Louis' blue eyes turn to saucers of surprise. "How many do you have?"

"Quite a few."

"You promised me you wouldn't come back a billboard."

"I said no to the piercings. Besides, I'm more like a flyer now."

"Piercings? Where?"

"Lip."

"Just the lip?"

"Yes."

"Well I'm glad you didn't get it. Metal tastes funny."

"Not to mention it punctures my skin."

"How's your back?"

"Artistic."

Louis gawks. "Didn't that hurt?"

"Insanely."

"Does it hurt now?"

"Not really. Little sting but nothing major."

"Oh, am I hurting you?"

"Not at all. Relax, Lou."

"I definitely want to see your tattoos now."

"Where's yours?"

"Still there I think, but maybe they took it off for surgery." 

Harry flinches at the thought of Louis under the knife. He pulled the thin blanket aside and Louis covers his chest with his arms, keeping the cold out. Harry carefully lifts the hospital gown, revealing Louis' boxers and bandage. 

"It's cold." Louis complains but makes no effort to stop Harry. 

Harry sees that the tattoo had been removed and it did stir some irritation, but it was either that or maybe lose their unborn child. He could live without a tattoo.   
Tucking the corners of the blanket back, Harry ensures Louis is warm enough before draping his own coat over him as well. 

"Warm?" Harry turns on his side to give Louis more room. 

Louis hums, fingers still exploring the expanse of Harry's throat and chest. He slowly tugs on the hem of the shirt as he goes, revealing more skin. He sees the H&L tattoo, now made permanent because the skin was red around it. 

"Oh Harry." Louis is engrossed by the addition. "Why did you?"

"Deserves to be permanent, doesn't it?"

Louis felt silly now that he let his counterpart go easily removed, when he too could have gotten it inked in. Maybe he will, as an informal Christmas present.   
He never finished his Christmas shopping, or getting the supplies he'd need for university. He really wanted to sink into the mattress and disappear. 

"I don't deserve you, do I?" Louis forgets to keep the question in his mind. 

"Though you are wrong, why do you think that?"

"Because you're so sweet, and so kind to me when all I do is ask for more. I mean, look at where I am. None of what happens to me is your fault, and yet you're here all the time."

"Are you kicking me out?"

"N-No!" Louis sputters. 

"And the reason you're here.....sort of is my fault, Lou."

"You know what I mean."

"Still." Harry uses Louis' word. "You're stuck with me, Lou. I love being with you all the time and I'll always be right here."

"How did I meet you?" Louis kisses the corner of Harry's mouth. 

"I think it was in kindergarten."

"We knew each other in kindergarten?"

"That's what your mom says."

"Hmph. I don't remember."

"You were five and I was nine."

"Oh well then.....-"

"I stopped babysitting Phoebe when you were fifteen so I guess we never really _knew_ each other."

Louis sighs and looks up, tapping Harry's chin so the man will look at him. "Are you happy?"

"I've never been this content in life."

"I mean....Dr. Michaels released you to fully recover and I haven't been helping though I should have. How are you with that?"

"Well, I haven't had any of the episodes I used to. They stopped when I left the hospital." Harry tells the truth. 

He hasn't been experiencing any blackouts that made way for vicious intent. The bit he leaves out is that his two motives have merged now, he needed them to if he was going to look after a family now. He was one mind now, no confusion or mistakes. If he did a wrong, he could rightly be held accountable. 

"That's good." Louis smiles, his head turned to face Harry. "I'm proud of you."

"I'm proud of you too." Harry rests his hand on Louis' hand, speaking with his lips against Louis' forehead. "You're very brave, meine Liebe." 

"Anyone can be brave when they have a reason to be."

**Christmas Eve in Middleston....**

Louis hadn't been able to finish his Christmas shopping. Himself, that is. He had begged Marie to go out and get the items on his list and hide it at her place.   
Harry and Louis hadn't spoken about their Christmas plans since that time four days ago. Harry had a plan though and he thought it wasn't too extravagant. 

The hospital had granted him permission to use the pool through to midnight - another tick on his growing bill with the institute - as well as keep an entire private wing of the hospital to their celebration. Louis couldn't leave the hospital and only a few nurses were on call tonight so all was well so far. 

Louis' family had relatives outside of Middleston and no one wanted to visit them without Louis himself. So it was decided that Louis' family would join Harry's family in celebrating Louis' birthday and Christmas. 

It was a surprise in store of unsuspecting Louis. 

Louis hadn't grown in four days, no one thought he would. He would rub his tummy comfortingly at night before falling asleep. Harry spent two out of the past four nights in the hospital, the other two went to Louis' mom. 

The medication had really helped the lad though, and his memoir of surgery had completely closed over. The scab had to be repeatedly cleaned off so that mitosis would allow the skin to fuse, and he was especially glad that he didn't have to wear that torturous pad anymore. The stitches had melted away a day ago.   
Louis was free to move around without fear of opening any sealed cuts. They - being Harry - didn't allow him to wander out of his room alone and without a wheelchair though. He couldn't risk Louis falling and hurting himself. 

If anyone thought Harry was protective before, they chewed their words now. Harry allowed nobody except Louis' direct family to go see him because he knew they wouldn't cause Louis any strain. Harry had to be shoved out the door when he needed to go home and rest.   
When Louis' friends visited, they made sure Gemma kept Harry at home so they could. 

Harry planned to send everyone home before midnight, which is what the private wing was for. The pool reservation no one knew about besides him. 

Louis woke up slightly groggy this morning. He'd forgotten it was birthday because there was no point. He was allowed to bathe on his own in salt water and used medicated soap. He didn't need as many bandages now but still wore one for safety around his middle. 

"Morning, Lou." His mom greets as she walks in. "How're you feeling?"

"I want to die." He climbs into the bed, minding his stomach because that was still sore. 

"It's your birthday."

"Oh yeah." Louis frowns. "It is."

"Not in the mood?"

Louis flops down, breathing out loudly. "I have morning sickness."

"Oh baby." She comes to stand by him. "Sucks, doesn't it?"

"How did you manage all this for two kids?"

"I knew I'd have a wonderful little one to spoil after it all ended. It'll stop in a day or two, have some ginger tea."

"The damn hospital doesn't have ginger tea."

"And there's the other reason I lived through pregnancy." She laughs, pulling out her phone and giving it to Louis. "Having someone to share it with. Call him."

"He said he'll be here." 

Louis missed Harry. He saw him one night ago before Harry was made to leave by Louis' mom. They texted until his mom caught him and scolded him. 

"I know so you better call him quickly." 

Louis nods and sits up, dialling Harry's number on his mother's phone. Harry answers after the second ring, sounding urgent and attentive but sniffs. "Johannah?"

"It's Louis." 

"Louis." Harry breathes out. "What's wrong, love?"

"N-Nothing. I just-" 

His mother smacks his arm lightly and cuts him off with a stern look. Louis hated asking Harry for so much despite Harry's insistence about him being there for just that. 

"Lou?" Harry tries to regain the boy's attention. 

"I uh....want ginger tea?"

Harry smiles and Louis hears it in his voice. "I'll get you some. Happy Birthday, my love."

Louis blushes and his mom rolls her eyes. "Thank you. I love you."

"I love you, babe. Do you want anything else before I get there?"

"Um....no. No I'm fine."

"Lou. Tell me."

Louis bites his lip. "No it's okay. I'm good. Just get here."

"Tell me, Lou. Anything."

Louis fiddles with the corner of the coat Harry left with him. His arm could get lost in the sleeve. "That pomegranate smoothie from Kauai."

Harry chuckles on his end because Louis' cravings started early and were so specific. The doctor said it was normal and the cravings weren't regular which was okay too. 

"Okay and how about I get that chicken wrap you like from there too?" Harry offers. 

Louis grins, crossing his legs. "Really? I'd love that."

"Okay. Did you take your vitamins?"

"Yes, Lois just gave them to me."

"And-"

"I had my bath and ate the cookie they gave me, before you ask."

Harry grabs his car keys, smirking. "Am I that bad?"

"Much worse, actually."

"I do it because I care about you."

"I know. I care about you too."

"Music to my ears. I'm going to get your food now. See you in a bit."

"Thank you. I'd be suffering without you."

"And hungry."

"Go get my food, Harold."

"Gotta hang up for that."

"So hang up."

"I like your voice."

"I'm hanging up."

"You didn't hang up, did you?"

"Ugh." 

_**[A/N: I bet you were expecting some mind-blowing reason. Sorry for the disappointment. I just want to know when YOU guys want me to update because sometimes I end up with lots of chapters lined up and just being bored.....so comment (pretty please) and tell me what you need! - S xx]** _


	36. Chapter 36

_Baby don't lie. I don't wanna fight any longer._

***HARRY'S POV***

**Louis' requests are easier to carry in than expected, considering it it Christmas and the staff at the hospital are more lenient. I go up to his room via the elevator and find his mother already there.**

**"Morning." Johannah greets me.**

**"Morning." I reply only to her, because Louis' greeting is a kiss that he smiles into.**

**"Hi." His cheeks turn pink, such a admirable look on his already perfect figure.**

**"Happy birthday." I whisper into his ear, kissing his jawline after and feeling him shudder subtly so his mother didn't see.**

**"T-Thank you."**

**He takes the smoothie from me and I sit down on the mattress close to him.**

**"I'll go get the tea. Don't gulp, Louis." His mother says before leaving.**

**Louis sucks on the straw slower, knowing that his mother would only caution him if it was to his benefit. I set his food down on the table and grab the paper wrapped chicken roll.**

**He watches me take a bite before his jaw drops. "Hey!"**

**"Hmm?"**

**"That's mine."**

**"I never said that."**

**"You're mean."**

**"I'm kidding. It's yours."**

**"Second-hand sandwich."**

**"Second-hand chicken wrap." I correct, holding it up to his lips. "Open up."**

**"I'm not a baby, I'm having a baby."**

**"Do you feel better?" I reposition myself behind him so he can rest on me instead of slouching forward.**

**"Waiting on ginger tea, then I'll feel better."**

**"Morning sickness still there?"**

**"Definitely." Louis takes another bite. "And whatever you're planning better not involve pools."**

**"What?"**

**"You're not as indiscreet as you think you are, Harold."**

**"Just let me surprise you." The chicken wrap gets finished and the paper's tossed in a basket bin.**

**"Are we going to drown in the surprise?" He sips his smoothie.**

**"Funny." I kiss his cheek, lowering my face to nuzzle his neck. "You're warm."**

**"Yeah and you feel like an ice cube."**

**"Only because I was outside for so long."**

**"And didn't bother wearing a coat."**

**"You would've gotten mad if I was late here, so I left the jacket."**

**Louis frowns. "Harry, I'm sorry."**

**"Don't apologise, love." I wrap my arms around his middle and hold him close. "I love freezing my arse off for you."**

**Louis giggles and hugs my neck, finally able to shift as he pleased because it didn't hurt as much. He let me finish the smoothie and throw it away.**

**"Best breakfast ever." He speaks against my skin. "Thank you."**

**"You're very welcome."**

**"Harry?"**

**"Hmm?"**

**"Can you kiss me?"**

**I turn my head to the side, watching as his baby blue orbs search my own mossy ones for some emotion. I love his eyes, they were so detailed and perfect that it enraptured me completely. The eyes are the gateways to a person's soul and if Louis' eyes were any indication, his soul was something to lust after.**

**He connects our lips and the act is sweet, gentle. We haven't touched each other since the night on my boat. I wanted to everyday but I wouldn't hurt Louis by asking for something physical now. I loved him, and know he loves me.  
He holds my nape and won't let me stray farther than necessary to breathe, his fingers are in my hair and my own hands are on his waist. He was small and dainty, he fit against me like a custom puzzle piece just for me. **

**Somebody clears their throat and I see Louis' mom standing awkwardly by the door. She has a travel mug in her hand and is avoiding my gaze.**

**"Sorry Mom." Louis sits up, but he isn't fooling anyone with his flushed cheeks and swollen lips.**

**"We need hotel signs in this place." She says, bringing Louis' tea over. "Thanks for the tea, Harry."**

**I nod and pull myself up as well, careful not to jostle anything or Louis himself. "No problem."**

**"Louis, I told you to put socks on."**

**I laugh softly when he tries to hide his feet under the covers. "Harry says I'm warm."**

**"Of course he'll say that. Here." She throws a pair of crisp white ankle socks at him. "Put it on."**

**He sticks out his tongue at her and she returns the same childish gesture. His family is by far, the most entertaining one. I take the socks from the corner of the bed and pat my lap.  
Louis drapes his legs across my lap so I can put the socks on for him. **

**"You're making him like this." His mother says, sitting on the chair.**

**"I am?" I finish and pull the covers up to his hips, he just puts his feet between my knees and folds his legs comfortably.**

**"You are. It's okay though, just don't get a big head, Lou."**

**Louis makes a soft explosion nose with his mouth and everyone laughs. "Don't think I really did anything to him."**

**"Is the ginger tea working, Lou?"**

**"Yeah. My stomach doesn't hurt now." He replies, lifting the cup to his lips.**

**"It was hurting?" I enquire, concerned.**

**"Like bubbles really. Didn't _hurt._ " **

**"Sure?"**

**He nods with a smile, stirring the tea with the plastic spoon. "So who's coming exactly?"**

**"What?" Both of us stare at him.**

**"Both of you suck at discretion. I know you're doing something and it better not involve pools or clowns."**

**"He's terrified of clowns." His mom says, laughing at the end.**

**"Am not." He mumbles. "Clowns are......cool."**

**"He watched that Stephen King movie and-"**

**"Mom!"**

**"-slept in our room for the entire week."**

**The amused look on my face causes him to groan as if in agony.**

**"He did?" I question.**

**"He did. He'll watch every scary movie out there but can't stand clowns even if it's a comedy."**

**"There's nothing scary about clowns, babe." I turn to Louis to witness the kitten glare he's giving his mother.**

**"They're terrifying. Their shoes are murder weapons and they're evil." He states, finishing his tea.**

**"They're not evil. They're-"**

**"Don't waste your time. He'll never go a circus now." His mom says. "Insects too-"**

**"Mom!" Louis wails for the second time.**

**"He needs to know these things."**

**"You're scared of insects?" I observe Louis, rubbing his tummy with his small hand from habit.**

**"Some reptiles too like lizards." His mom offers. "And not scared of, he just really hates them."**

**"Creatures of Hell they are." Louis supplies. "Anything with more than two eyes."**

**"Lizards have two eyes-"**

**"Yeah but they can grow back a limb." He cuts me off. "That's freaky. Amazing but...."**

**He yawns and I open an arm for him to curl into.**

**"You never answered my question."**

**"What question?" I ask.**

**"How many people are coming?"**

**"A few." I admit. "Your family and mine."**

**"What are they coming for?"**

**"To see you. Can't be a party because this is a hospital but they'll exchange gifts and go home."**

**"Oh okay then."**

**"I'll be outside." His mom gets up, eyes on her phone.**

**"What did you get me?" Louis asks immediately.**

**"What makes you think I got you anything?"**

**"You didn't get me anything?"**

**"I did."**

**He narrows his eyes at me and covers mine with his small hand.**

**"Meine Liebe, what are you doing?"**

**I don't see what he's doing, until I feel his other hand lower than necessary for public display. Surprised, I grab his hands and pin him to my chest.**

**"Not now." I look at him, not at all shocked.**

**"You don't want to?"**

**"I want to but we can't right now."**

**He wiggles around until he's astride my lap, bum on my hips and hands on my shoulders. "Why can't we?"**

**"Because we're not exhibitionists."**

**He looks like he's really upset about my rejection, eyes becoming a little red and his teeth sinking into his bottom lip.**

**"Lou." I straighten my posture and draw him closer, smashing his arms between us. "I'm just saying not now."**

**"But we will?"**

**I knew Louis would start the cycle of self-loathing pretty soon, so I'd have to be there to make sure he didn't get in too deep. I cared for him a profound amount and would simply give my blood for his smile.**

**"We will." I confirm.**

**"Later?"**

**"If that's what you want."**

**He nods and rests his forehead against mine.**

**"I don't want you hurting yourself." I place my hand on his tummy. "There's more than us to protect now."**

**"I know and I'm sorry."**

**"No, Lou." I make him look at me, brushing away the rogue strands of hair. "You don't have to be sorry for wanting something. Look at me. I'll lay the world at your feet, take whatever you want."**

**"I want you."**

**"You have me for your own already. I won't deny you anything within reason."**

**Louis smiles, it's genuine and those little creases form in the corners of his eyes. He was an angel sent to me especially.  
His small hand locks with mine, leading them both to his stomach where he holds the connection. I flatten my palm and cover his completely, making him laugh. **

**Maybe it was the thrill of knowing something alive was inside Louis, growing from a circle of combined cells to form an entire embodiment. It was definitely exciting, a little early but we had time to be ready.**

**"You're having my baby." I cup the side of his face, hooking the tips of my fingers at the back of his neck.**

**"I am." He speaks like the faintest wind.**

**"You've made me.....the happiest man alive, Louis Tomlinson." I kiss his nose and forehead, temples and jaw line.**

**"As you have made me." He runs his fingertips along the column of my neck.**

**"What are you thinking about?"**

**He lifts his gaze from focussing on the goosebumps on my skin, to meet my own. He lowers it again after a quick kiss.**

**"About when you asked for me at the police station." He answers.**

**I study his relaxed features, feeling his fingers near the place where the skull and rose tattoo was. "Oh?"**

**"About how you reacted when Douglas showed up."**

**A growl crawls up my throat, and Louis blushes from it. He enjoyed my possessiveness, which is ideal because I wasn't about to lighten up.**

**He puts both hands on my throat, placing his thumbs under my Adam's Apple so I look up at him. "I thought you were going to kill him."**

**I remain neutral. "I should have."**

**"No, you shouldn't have." He kisses my forehead. "A murder on your hands would just be something to come back and bite us later. Just like you said, we have more than us to worry about now."**

*****NARRATOR'S POV*** **

**Everyone gets to the hospital by eight that night, because they'd been calling all day and wishing the birthday boy. Louis was gracious about everything, and begged Harry to let him walk but it was all futile.**

**"Harry, I'm not a criple." Louis shies away from the wheelchair.**

**"It's a safety precaution, Lou."**

**"I can walk. I won't fall over."**

**"Lou-"**

**"No, Harry."**

**"It's this or I carry you the entire night."**

**"The doctor _said_ I could walk around."**

**"For no more than two meters a day. That stint is still fusing and can't come loose while you're standing."**

**"I promise I'll tell you immediately if anything hurts."**

**"He said you won't feel it until you've already had the......-" Harry looks down and breathes deeply.**

**"Haz." Louis coaxes with a gentle voice. "I won't put us in jeopardy."**

**_Us_ meant he and the baby. "Not intentionally but some things you can't control."**

**"Okay how about we compromise?"**

**Harry opens his mouth to protest against Louis using his legs at all tonight until Louis puts a finger on his lips.**

**"I walk from the elevator to greet everyone and then I'll sit in the wheelchair. They're all gonna be sitting for exchanging gifts anyway."**

**Harry thinks about it and all the ways he can secure Louis' stride as he walks the short distance. "Agreed."**

**Louis breaks out in a smile. "Thank you. Now let's go."**

**Gemma sees them first and grins at the sight of Louis. Everyone knew because Louis' mom took time out to inform them of the pregnancy, also requesting that they don't pester the couple with uncomfortable questions because they were as nervous as everyone else was. Maybe even much worse.**

**Louis could dress up, because it was Christmas and he was a healthy patient anyway. Harry helped him get ready in a black turtle neck and brown chinos. They didn't have to match, they needed to be suitable and preferable with Louis' bandages.**

**Harry had a protective arm around Louis' waist when they get out of the elevator. The East Wing on the second-highest floor was closed off to everyone except the invited guests.**

**"Louis!" Gemma walks up to them and hugs the boy. "Happy birthday."**

**"Thank you." He said his fiftieth appreciation.**

**"And congratulations." She sends Harry a wink who just glares at her.**

**"Thanks, again." He smiles, cheeks tinted pink.**

**"Come on." Harry kisses Louis' temple and leads him closer to the others. "Okay still?"**

**"I'm fine." Louis' steps were close to waddling but he could manage.**

**Phoebe hugs Louis gently and so does everyone else. He calls himself the porcelain doll of the evening and Harry laughs at the disgruntled joke. They both get several congratulatory messages and they accept each one with a smile. Harry gives Louis a few extra minutes to exercise his legs before deciding the wheelchair wasn't needed.**

**They all settle down in the room that had several couches and a tree. It was set up by the staff who worked in this part of the hospital. Harry pulled Louis onto his lap and picked up on the content sigh the boy makes.**

**"Who's going first?" Ed asks the circle of people.**

**Louis had his mom pick up the gifts he'd bought from Marie's place and now handed them out to the correct recipients. Even Phoebe got gifts for everyone. Harry's were all large and wrapped expertly, so much so that Louis would feel extremely bad having to open any one.**

**"Should we open one?" Gemma thinks out loud.**

**"We can't." Phoebe says. "It's not Christmas yet."**

**"We can." Louis folds his legs in Harry's lap. "Only one though."**

**"One per person?" Harry furrows his eyebrows.**

**"No. Just one for all of us."**

**"Who's willing to give up a gift to open?"**

**"I am!" Gemma raises her hand.**

**"Who's will you open?"**

**"Um.....I'm too scared to open my brother's so Louis'."**

**Louis' palms sweat because he doesn't know if Gemma will like her gift at all. "Go ahead."**

**She neatly peels the tape off the edges and everyone seems to lean forward, except Louis who wants to cringe back.  
Her eyes widen at the box-protected gift. It was a hair iron shipped in from the States, with Gemma's initials stamped on the handle. **

**"It's perfect!" She exclaims. "Thank you, Louis."**

**He smiles at her, relief and pride flooding his veins. "My pleasure. I was worried you'd hate it."**

**"It's what I wanted, really. No gift lives up to this."**

**He laughs. "Bit too much, Gem."**

**Harry looks on happily at how everyone gets along. Louis' dad interrupts when he walks in with a bottle of wine. "You mind, Lou?"**

**Louis looks absolutely distraught. "How could you, Dad?"**

**"I've been saving this for a long time."**

**Everyone burst into cheers as they passed glasses around but Louis didn't get one. "This is injustice."**

**"One sip is okay." Louis' mom says. "Just because it's your birthday and it won't hurt the baby but no more."**

**"How big of a sip?" Louis is curious.**

**"A tablespoon."**

**He doesn't groan because everyone was happy tonight and he won't spoil the celebration. Who needed wine anyway? Louis could keep hydrated on the Vitamin Water Harry got him, it was the berry kind and the little blurbs never failed to get a laugh out of him.**

**"So, to Louis." His father raises his glass and said boy turns red. "And the life he'll have outside of Middleston."**

**He gives his dad a big smile and teary sign of gratitude. He'd most certainly miss this, all this close-knit communication when it came to his family and friends.**

**"And Harry." Gemma toasts. "Who decided to finally get off his ass and do something."**

**Everyone laughs and Harry gives his sister's hand a gentle squeeze of recognition. Harry would miss Gemma the most, she stuck by him when he was at his all time lowest.**

**They clink glasses and Harry keeps his out of Louis' reach. He finally does get a sip when Harry finishes the entire glass and leaves just enough behind for him to drink. Louis thinks Harry's evil but he still loves him unabashedly.**

**"So, I heard the apartment's been settled." Louis' mom throws into the ring of discussion.**

**"Only recently." Louis replies, toying with the cap of his bottle. "Harry got to see it already."**

**"Oh yeah? What does the lease say?" His father refills everyone's glass.**

**"It has both our names but I can cover the bills myself." Harry answers.**

**"He's being stubborn." Louis argues. "I _want_ to pay and he won't let me."**

**"Welcome to the family, Lou." Gemma reaches out for them to high-five.**

**"Don't gang up on the lad, he's just trying to be nice." Louis' mother defends Harry.**

**"Thank you." Harry sets his glass down and hugs Louis' waist.**

**"Come to an agreement and split the bills."**

**Harry groans lowly into Louis' neck and the boy laughs. "Let's talk about something else."**

**"How's my niece slash nephew?" Gemma chirps.**

**"He's about this size-" Louis makes a small circle with his thumb and index finger "-so we really aren't sure."**

**"He?"**

**"Lou thinks it's a he." Harry murmurs.**

**"I'm pretty sure." Louis states.**

**"What do you want?"**

**"Triplets." Louis' mom jokes and there's laughter all around.**

**"I'll never walk again." Louis' expression holds pure horror.**

**"The doctor said Louis' cravings and stuff started early." Louis' mom finishes her second glass.**

**"Are you on a mission to embarrass me to death, Mother?" Louis asks and she responds by sticking her tongue out like she did earlier.**

**"I bet yours are hilarious." Louis' dad comments.**

**"They're not bad. Specific, but not bad." Harry answers.**

**"And what are you guys gonna do in London?" Gemma's done with her second glass as well.**

**"Louis' going to uni and I have a job." Harry replies, not ignoring the stillness Louis takes to.**

**"Job?"**

**"Yeah. Software company." Harry feels Louis' eyes burning into his.**

**"That's why you're equipped to handle the bills then."**

**"Precisely."**

**The two families chatted up a storm halfway through the night. Louis was waiting to discuss with Harry in private why he said software company to his family and another occupation to him.**

**No one was concerned with turning to the door. For if they had, they'd have seen Edith watching their communication with hooded eyes from a shadow created by a box television set.**


	37. Chapter 37

_I need your words to comfort me. I thirst for your embrace._

***NARRATOR'S POV***

Everyone got a move on at something to twelve, a possible half hour before the clock would strike midnight. They couldn't stay over because it was a hospital and Harry needed to show Louis something. 

Louis didn't turn dull after the job discussion died down, only because their families didn't need to know about their personal implications. When everyone was gone, Louis waited for Harry to return from escorting Gemma to her car. 

"Take care of him, big brother." She says. "Or I'm coming for you."

Harry holds her car door open. "We'll be fine, Gem."

"I would hope so. Goodnight." 

"Goodnight. Text me when you get home."

"Overbearing bastard." She laughs. 

"Still your brother."

He finds Louis propped up in his own bed, biting his lip and flipping channels on the TV. 

"Coming?" Harry helps Louis stand up. 

"Where are we going?" Louis grips Harry's forearm because he was a little tired and didn't trust his own footing. 

"Surprise." 

"I hate surprises. Tell me."

"Everyone loves surprises."

"Don't generalise me, Harold."

Harry presses the button for the highest level and turns around to pick Louis up off the ground. "I would never."

"Why'd you tell them you'll work for a software company?" Louis wasn't angry. 

"Because I couldn't explain how collecting debts would bring in enough money to support us living in London."

Louis sighs. "You'll be careful though, right?"

"I won't come back to you when the sun rises in the West." Harry kisses Louis' forehead. 

"You're such a romantic."

"Want me to be a bad boy then? I can play hard to get, I think."

Louis giggles and rests his head on Harry's strong shoulder. "Sure you can."

"Do I hear a wager?"

"You're delusional, is what you are."

"We're here." Harry walks out of the elevator and Louis squirms at the sight of the pool. 

"Harry, how could you?" Louis tries to get away from the man without hurting himself. 

"Lou, it's a pool and I'm right here."

"I'm not going in."

"You are."

"Am not. Put me down."

"You'll run away."

"Obviously."

"Then no."

"I don't like pools." Louis whines.

"Do it, for me?"

"You promised me sexy time, Harry."

Harry tries not to let the amusement show on his face, though to no avail. "Sexy time, eh?"

"Yes, and stop laughing at me."

"I did promise you-" Harry sits on the only regular chair around with Louis on his lap, facing him. "-and I'm not going back on my word."

Louis gasps. "By the pool?"

Harry's eyes have a suspicious glint about them as he starts paying attention to Louis' neck with his mouth. 

"What if someone comes in?"

"You were ready to do it in your room where everyone could see."

"I was beside myself."

Harry sucks on Louis' pulse point and the boy keens, digging his nails into Harry's arms. Harry's hands grope Louis' behind, kneading at the firm flesh as he encourages the boy to roll his hips.   
Louis' fingers fumble with the buttons of Harry's shirt that resembled a black and white picnic tablecloth. He got the front open, and gave in to just running his hands all over Harry's skin. He moaned into Harry's mouth and enjoyed the press of his lover's firm, toned skin under his fingertips. 

His eyes followed every swirl, every intricate design that was a component of Harry's tattoos. Louis couldn't deny they were all so amazing, they darkened his milky skin and made him look formidable but Louis found that very arousing. 

Louis lowered his hand to Harry's jeans and undid the one button there before tugging on the zipper. He palmed Harry's crotch in a way he had before and got a pleasured groan as a reward. Pushing Harry down by his shoulders, Louis ran his fingers through Harry's curls and tugged on it whenever the man squeezed his bum for more.   
Their mouths were open against each other's and they kissed lazily for a few moments. 

"You're sure?" Harry asks, already rock hard in his jeans because of the grinding Louis was doing sinfully. 

"Yes." Louis wasn't trying to be seductive, but Harry found him to be very much so with the light hitting him just the right way. 

Harry managed to pull his jeans down just to his knees before Louis was on him again. He ran his hands along Louis' sides and held onto his love handles. They were soft just like Louis, and Harry felt the need to kiss him again. 

"Here." Harry sat up and retrieved the little bottle of clear liquid from his front pocket. 

"You had this the whole time?" Louis doesn't seem really surprised. 

"If I left it somewhere I'd have forgotten."

Louis nods and pulls Harry's waistband down to free his angry erection. It was plump, red and made Louis whimper at the thought of it inside him. He poured some of the lube onto his fingertips and pumped Harry's length slowly. Harry loved the attention but it wasn't enough to truly pleasure him. 

They looked so haphazard like this, clothes hanging off them without a care, bodies flushed and clinging to each other. Neither one has experienced something so fiercely passionate that they didn't wait to be neat about it. It only mattered that they were connected and together. 

"Lou." Harry moans, sucking a bruise into Louis' chest. "Need to be inside you."

"Have to-to be careful." Louis stutters. "Stitches."

" _Shit._ " Harry presses his finger buds into Louis' shoulder blades. "Okay. Open you up first?"

"Y-Yeah."

Harry coats his fingers in the lube and lowers his hand to Louis' rim where none of the two can see. Louis' eyes are closed and his lip is bitten raw, mainly Harry's fault. He is extra careful now, since not too long ago Louis had this area cut.   
Louis shows no signs of discomfort when Harry uses two fingers, pushing back against his fingers for more friction. He's totally wanton in Harry's arms now. 

"Okay?" Harry tugs on Louis' ear lobe with his teeth. 

Louis nods. "I-I'm good now."

"Sure?"

"Yes."

"Tell me to stop if it gets too much, okay?"

Louis nods and opens his eyes, to see Harry's eyes looked no different. Their pupils were blown and they looked so desperate in this state. 

"I love you." Harry lifts Louis' hips. "So, so much."

Louis wraps one arm around Harry's neck and holds his bicep with the other hand. "I love you. I'm in love with you."

Harry positions himself at Louis' entrance and let's the twenty-year-old sink down slowly on him. Louis pauses halfway to Harry's hips because there was a sting to accompany the usual burn that was far from pleasant, except it melts away and he resumes his movement.   
When his bum is fitted between Harry's hips, Louis opens his eyes after noticing he'd closed them and sees Harry watching him. There's no lying that the emotion in Harry's gaze was anything but love, love and adoration. 

Louis didn't move for a bit, just locked gazes with Harry and took his time adjusting because there was no hurry. Louis personally hated quickies because they had no love most of the time, just the urgent need to get off. 

Harry lifts his hips to get in deeper and Louis gasps, tightening his grip on Harry and clenching around him. They look at each other, foreheads pressed together as Louis starts to move in figure eights. He's just feeling without getting to the edge yet, like he was moulding his body to fit Harry's. 

The air is warm and thick, making their temperatures rise and bodies sweat. Louis lifts up and lowers himself again, making them both groan. Harry supports him in his thrusts to match Louis and meet him in the middle. 

Harry held Louis' waist and aided him in the rise and fall of his motions, each time getting deep inside the boy. Louis mewled when Harry brushed against that special spot inside him, making him see white for a few minutes. 

"You drive me crazy, you know that?" Harry speeds up a little, still wary of Louis' sensitivity. 

"D-Dont regret anything." Louis let's out little puffs of air with each round. 

They're both painfully close and Harry can't hurt Louis by being too rough. He thrusts into the boy until Louis' noises become hypnotic for them both. 

"Close?" Harry feels the little deluge build. 

Louis doesn't answer but gives up completely and let's Harry just bring him over, using his body. Louis spurts between their tight chests with a cry and Harry can't last after Louis clenches around him. 

"You're amazing, Lou." Harry stays in, brushing Louis' hair aside as they come down from their highs. "I'll never get my fill of you."

"You're like my knight in shining armour." Louis whispers, resting his head on Harry's shoulder. 

"My damsel in distress." Harry holds Louis' hand on his heart and kisses him. "Let's go in the water for a bit."

"Okay." Louis was always pliant and submissive when Harry got him riled up, ironically.

"C'mon, pup." Harry taps Louis' bum once to give him the message to get off. 

Louis reluctantly does so before allowing Harry to pull their underwear back on but strip them of everything else. Louis suddenly giggles into Harry's neck. 

"Something I miss?" Harry picks Louis up again, higher than before. 

"I had my sweater on the whole time."

Harry shakes his head with a laugh. He had to keep Louis distracted with kisses and nips to his skin and he stepped into the water, Louis' thighs squeezing Harry's waist. 

"It's warm." Louis' breathing has been made into short pants. 

"Is it nice?"

"Yeah." Louis answers in a small voice. "But I'm not letting go."

"Don't want you to." Harry's hands tighten in holding Louis up by the crook of his knees. 

Louis pulls back to look into Harry's eyes, admiring how a little moonlight shone through the vast window pane and reflected off Harry's dark orbs. He held onto Harry's neck as they waded through the heated pool.

"Thank you for today." Louis smiles. "It was the best birthday I've ever had."

"You're welcome, love." Harry kisses Louis' thin pink lips. "And it'll be even better next year."

"Parties aren't my thing."

"I know so I'll plan something when the time comes. Do you want to do anything before your birthday's over?"

"Not really." 

Louis let's Harry shift him around. He ends up with Harry's one arm braced under his bum and keeping him up, Harry's left hand connected with Louis'. 

"Show off." Louis mumbles against Harry's lips. 

"I've only got you to impress." Harry hears the beep of his watch from the chair beside the pool. "Merry Christmas."

Louis twists one of the dry curls at Harry's hairline. "Merry Christmas, love."

Harry lifts Louis high enough for his tummy to be at Harry's eye-level. The free time at Middleston's Virgin Active definitely came in handy though Louis wasn't heavy at all. 

"Merry Christmas, little one." Harry kisses Louis' belly just above his navel. 

"He can't hear you." 

Harry snorts and presses his nose against the soft skin. "You can hear me, can't you?"

"You're going to give me Hell when he starts kicking."

Harry smirks evilly. "You know me so well."

"Harry." Louis' staring at the water. His eyes are wide and he doesn't sound cheerful. "What's that?"

Harry turns his head and squints at the black object. "A sock?"

Louis doesn't think so because he's panicking now at the fact that it's moving. "Harry, it's moving."

"It can't be-" Harry cuts himself off when the mysterious object starts getting closer. It was long and thick, easily mistaken for a pipe. 

He lifts Louis onto the tiles and gets him out of the pool before stepping out by hoisting himself up. Louis shrieks when the thing gets right to the edge before turning around again. 

"Definitely not a sock." Louis tries to play it off but his voice was shaking. 

"Looked like an eel." Harry brings Louis away from the edge of the water and hugs him. "How the fuck did an eel end up in there?"

"Told you I hated pools."

"I'm sorry, Lou. Are you okay?"

"I'm okay." Louis smiles up at him. "Are you?"

"I am. Let's get dressed and go tell someone."

Louis nods and dries himself off with the towel Harry hands him. He can still see the eel moving about in the deep end. "How did we not see it?"

"It was in the deep end so it probably didn't see us." 

"It's not even a tiny one that could have gotten here through the plumbing."

Harry keeps quiet. 

"Think someone put it there?"

"Like?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's a toy or something."

"Doesn't look like one. Come on." Harry holds out his hand. 

At the door, Harry pauses in thought. "Wait."

"What?" Louis watches him fish out his phone and return to the pool, taking about three photographs of the sea creature before coming back. 

"Need proof."

"How's it gonna escape by the time we get back?"

"Whoever put it there will find a way."

And they did find a way, because after Harry left Louis in his room to bathe he went with the security and a few others to the pool. There was nothing in the clear water so Harry showed them the photos and got a promise to have the waters inspected immediately. 

Harry returned to Louis' room with dragging feet because today had been a long one. He wishes it was a proper bed Louis was cross-legged on so he didn't worry about just dropping down onto it. 

"Hello, Tarzan." Louis looks down at Harry. "What'd they say?"

"Said they'll inspect the water right away." Harry sits up and kicks off his shoes. 

"Don't fall asleep yet." Louis says when Harry climbs in behind him and rests against the pillows. "I haven't opened any of my birthday presents."

Harry opens his eyes and leans forward. "Where are they?"

"Here." Louis drags about six packages onto the bed. 

"Which one are you opening first?"

"Yours." 

Louis exaggerates his carefulness with the binding tape and Harry laughs. The box is smaller than Louis' palm and is larger than a wedding ring one. Louis finds that he's strangle nervous. He lifts the navy lid and his jaw gapes. 

"I'm going to kill you." He lies.

"I'll take that as you love it."

"You're a dead man, Harry Styles."

Harry chuckles, his warm breath fanning the little skin-coloured hairs on Louis' neck. 

It's a car. A car key beside a silver banded ring, plain and simple. The logo of the key's chain was that of something Louis didn't recognise. "What is it?"

"It's a Volvo C30." 

"I can't." Louis shakes his head. "It's too expensive. I can't take this from you."

"Louis, it's a gift."

"It's a _car._ You buy my chocolates and photo frames for gifts, not Volvo's."

"You don't like it?"

"I do but I can't accept it."

"Why not?"

Louis sighs. "You've done too much already. I feel like I rely on you for too many things and I need to stop. Just because you can afford it doesn't mean I should keep asking."

"You didn't ask for this, I'm giving it to you because when we're in London you'll need a car."

"And I'll buy a cheap one on my own."

"That's not why I'm here."

"You're here to be with me, not to be my sugar daddy."

Harry tries not to laugh because this moment is serious. "I can't spend the money on myself."

"You can. Buy yourself a Rolex every month."

"Louis, please take the car."

"Harry, no."

"Be reasonable."

"Buying me a car is reasonable?"

"Yes."

"No, it isn't."

"I want to make you happy."

"You do make me happy, just by being there for me. We're having a baby, Harry."

"Which is exactly why I need to step up."

"You have. I'm so lucky to have you because no one will ever take care of the way you do." Louis secures the side of Harry's face with his hand and turns to kiss his cheek. 

Harry felt at ease knowing he wasn't slacking in his duties, his responsibility to Louis and the baby. "I need to know you're safe, Lou, and this car is the safest out there. When you're further along you won't even be driving."

Louis should have seen that coming. "You're as stubborn as I am."

Harry smiles and kisses Louis' lips for a long moment. "I'm glad you like the car."

"Just for this, I'm paying half the monthly bills and you can't stop me."

Harry decides that's a battle for another day. "Can I put the ring on?"

Louis looks down at the spoken-of item and let's Harry remove it from the case. Harry holds the ring up and Louis gets to see the inscription on the inside. _Meine Liebe - Harry._ He slips it on Louis' left thumb. 

"Next present." Harry says. 

But Louis launches himself at Harry and wraps himself around the man like a vine. He's repeating sweet statements and kissing Harry everywhere. 

"I love you too, my sweet." Harry tries to kiss Louis back. "Careful, Lou."

"You're so good to me." 

"I don't doubt your worth, Lou." Harry sits them back up. "You deserve so much more."

"I don't. I really don't. I've done nothing to be worthy of you."

"Love isn't conditional, we don't get to _choose."_

"You chose me."

"And you chose me. It was mutual."

Louis thinks about if he hadn't said yes to Harry after being asked to visit him at the rehab center, or not going to see Harry after the entire building burnt down. 

"Penny for your thoughts?" Harry draws swirls on Louis' hip, easier now since he'd changed back into the hospital gown. 

"I was thinking about if I'd never gotten to know you like this." Louis looks down at his hands, fusing his next words so they aren't audible. "If it wasn't your baby."

Harry did hear and he doesn't like that scenario. "But both of you _are_ mine. Don't worry about anything else."

The corners of Louis' mouth twitch into a smile. "Let's finish up here because I'm tired."

"Agreed."

Louis opened the rest of his presents robotically but still loved each one. His mom got him a digital photo frame that displayed several pieces of Louis' memory. Harry cackled uncontrollably when he saw it before Louis placed a piece of tape across his lips. 

His dad got him a mug and it's Louis' favourite gift of all, because it had a picture of him and his dad going to their first football match.   
Gemma got Louis an untouched locket, with a card that instructed him to build a family and place their photo inside the jewellery piece. 

His aunt from Alaska shipped him the Game of Thrones box set and he thinks it's definitely a Top Five gift. It had four seasons worth of DVD's and the books. His mom picked it up from the post office and gave it to him when his aunt called. 

Louis heard the birds chirping outside the window and fell asleep to their sweet sounds on Harry's chest. 

**_[A/N: Raise your hand if you want a boyfriend like Harry... And! My Biology & Physics teacher is know reading this story from the story, one could say I'm absolutely terrified.]_ **


	38. Chapter 38

**_[A/N: Okay, confession time. I secretly read chapters from Hide & Seek before writing a new chapter here. Sigh. I'm so lame. You know what sucks? Me being unable to write the Louis fic I started.......I'm hopeless. Who can guess ze (↡) song?]_ **

_Baby look what you've done to me.....Baby look what you've done now....Baby I'll never leave if you keep holding me this way._

***LOUIS' POV***

"Why did we leave packing to the last minute?" Harry lazily flops down on his bed from mock exhaustion. "Remind me again."

I roll my eyes at his antics. We just only started an hour ago. "Because I couldn't pack yesterday or the day before."

"Right." He gets back up. "Want anything?"

"You're not leaving this room until we're done. My stuff's already packed."

"I was just offering." His face drops. 

"I know, love." I stretch up on my tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "And I was just saying."

He huffs and goes to retake his duty on drawer emptying. I got discharged from the hospital just two days ago and now it was New Years Eve. It really couldn't be more inconvenient or hilarious on my part, because flaffing around today held a pinch of humour. The bandages were non-existent and I was free to move as much as I wanted, but I did leave the hospital with a list of vitamins to get especially from my doctor in London. I had a few left to last me the rest of my stay in town.   
Our flight was set for the second of January because who the Hell flew on New Years day? 

My room was easier to throw into a suitcase because I had many of them, leading to it all being shoved in the back of my father's SUV. Harry held his off and was now in denial because even though he tried to hide it, I knew he will miss Middleston as much as me. 

He'd occasionally stop to rub the back of his neck and think. I'd watch him from my position in the middle of the bed with concern. "Harry?"

His eyes dart from the clothing in his hand to me. "What's wrong?"

"I was going to ask you that." I slide off the mattress and come to stand in front of him. "You okay?"

He rests his forehead against mine. "I am now."

"Tell me." I insist. 

"This is home, always has been." He encircles my waist with his arms. "But I....have to leave. Have to move on or I'll be stuck here."

"Wrong thought process, love." I tap his chin with my index finger. "First, you're not doing this on your own. I'm right here, aren't I?"

"Yeah, you are."

"And I'm going to hate walking past those boarding gates as much as you. This is my home too."

"I know." He breathes against my neck. 

"And home never keeps you stuck, it's fine to miss it and come back whenever you want to. We're leaving a lot behind so I understand that you're not overly excited."

"But I am." He tugs on my waist. "I am because it's a new start, one that I've wanted for as long as I can remember. You'll be there too, it's a new start for us both. You're excited, yes?"

"Very. Don't be upset about London not being Middleston. We'll make a new home there, yeah?" I watch his eyes soften to their marshmallow green - I called it that because those moods were rare and he never admitted to them. 

Harry stares at my tummy and our hands laced on top of it. "I love you both so much. You're my family now."

"I love you and so does our peanut child who hasn't formed anything yet." I smile when he laughs. "But if you want some time here that's okay."

"What do you mean?"

"In Middleston. I can go ahead and-"

"No. Absolutely not." He frowns. "I'm not letting you go to London alone and have fun without me."

"You sure you're okay?" 

"I'm fine. You're my family now." He repeats. " _Mine._ "

I giggle against my better judgment and hug him close. "Yours."

"I'm supposed to be the......-"

"Bad boy? Yeah, nice try." 

"They have those, right?"

"They do and I hate 'em all. It's okay to feel stuff and let others see it. It's how we cope."

He kisses me sweetly. "You're my therapy."

"Oh no. Try again."

"But you are. You're my sanity, my love and my drug."

I shake my head against his shoulder. "I hope I'm Paracetamol or something."

"Something like that. Now I'm _really_ excited."

"I'm glad." I pull away, feeling a bit cold out of Harry's safe embrace. "Because this packing isn't going to get done itself."

"You're going to help me, right?" He looks at everything that lays strewn, neglected and untidilty tossed into open bags in hopeful fear. 

"That I will." I profess. "As soon as I get back."

"Where are you going?"

I step out of the room and head for the stairs. "I need water."

"We have a tap right here!"

"I love you too!" I answer before jogging down the thirteen uniformed steps. 

I flick my fringe out of my face in time to see Gemma walk in carrying empty boxes. "Not so much fun, is it?"

"When have you packed up your whole life?"

"Never. Just wanted to say that." She shrugs. "So how much is left?"

"About half his room. It's going to take a while."

"Especially since you're down here."

"I'm just taking a break." 

"Aha. Want something?"

"I came for water so.....excuse me." I go into the kitchen to grab a bottle from the fridge. 

"Not from the fridge, Harry says." Gemma walks in with a sly grin, taking the bottle from my hand. "Thanks, Lou."

"Ugh." I groan before switching to a bottle on the counter already at room temperature.

"What's going on?" Harry walks in after Gemma and I fail to hear his footsteps descending the stairwell. 

"I can't have cold water?"

"You can, from the tap. Ice water isn't good for anyone." He eyes his ignorant sister. 

Just two seconds after that he's reaching for a bottle from the fridge himself. I throw up my hands in exasperation. "What was the speech for if you're just going to drink it yourself?"

"We have death wishes." Gemma adds. 

Turning on my heel, I start to leave but Harry grabs my shirt. Gemma leaves with, "I eat on that table so watch yourselves."

I let myself be drawn back against the sink with a little squeak but turn away when Harry leans down. "Don't even try."

"Lou." He kisses my jaw and I melt a little. Nobody said I was immune to his touch. 

"Go kiss your ice water." I push myself off the sink. 

"Wait." And he's kissing me when I forget to move fast enough. 

His lips are soft and cold from their recent parchment, but then he parts them and a rush of cold enters my mouth. The water goes down easily after the transfer and I'm blushing madly. 

"I'm still mad at you." I grip the sides of his shirt where it's unbuttoned at the top. "But thank you."

"You know I love you." He sips from the bottle again but sadly, swallows this time. 

"You say it but how can I be sure?" I raise an eyebrow at him to provoke an amused response. 

"You won't let me touch you so how do I prove my love any other way?" 

His lips meet with the rim of the water bottle again and I find myself staring at how his Adam's Apple bobs with the swallowing movements. If anything, I didn't stare enough at him because Harry had flawless features. He was muscle where I was chubby, and he was tall where I stood almost a foot shorter. 

He had a perfect jawline that looked sharp, attractively stern and firm. His body was covered in skin that had a light tan, stretched across the hard abs of his abdomen. His hair was definitely a trait to drool over, it was long enough to brush his shoulders just slightly and was dark brown, constantly looking wet. 

If I were to strip all that off, though I won't ever really, I'd get to see the person hidden under. Everyone loved him in town and they had multiple reasons to, Harry's heart was always in the right place. He had all those terrible jokes to make and never said no to me even when I was akin to Godzilla. 

"What are you thinking about?" He senses the maintenance of this moment and keeps his voice low. 

"You." I rub circles into his breast with my thumb. 

"What about me?"

"You're beautiful."

Being the fantastically lucky person I am, I get to see Harry's cheeks turn a little pink and that shy smile take space on his face. 

"You are, inside and out." I recite. "You're a wonderful person and I get to wake up with you every morning soon."

He bumps my cheek with his nose and I feel his smile, forcing me to grin against his jaw as well. 

"I think twice as much about you. You're _my_ Lou." Playfully, he nips at my ear lobe. "You're like my missing puzzle piece, I was an idiot to wait this long. I couldn't live without you now, my Koala." 

"Don't try to then." I offer simply, only to receive a delicate pinch to my bum. "You choose the wrong times, Harold. We need to finish packing."

"Gemma has to go to work and my mom's out." Harry keeps me pinned to the counter by my hips, frozen mid-air and hidden from sight by his body. "So after we pack-" His lips attach to the spot of my pulse point, sucking on it to form a prominent bruise that all could see. "-I'll have to get to work on _proving_ my love. It'll take a lot of work, won't it?"

I don't get around to answering immediately, instead baring my neck more for him. "I-It might."

He smirks and pulls off me. "Then we might have to open something I got for London now."

"W-What did you get?"

"Come." 

He takes my hand and leads me out of the kitchen, past an occupied Gemma and up the stairs. He misses my _I'd like to_ comment but that's okay because the promise of a 'later' period makes it better. 

Once inside his room, Harry closes the door behind us and that excitement melts away to make room for nervousness. _What was he going to do?_

"Uh...Harry?" My eyes follow him as he digs for something in the black Adidas duffel bag. 

After finding it, it's hidden behind his back. He approaches me slowly with little hearts in his eyes. "Shhh. Come lie on the bed."

"What for?" I wish my question was just for the purpose of playing along. 

"Do you trust me?" His fingers curl around my wrist and tug. 

"I do trust you but-" 

He cuts me off with a gentle kiss and it's definitely my favourite way to get kissed, when he nibbles on my bottom lip and smirks at the little whine I let out automatically. Before I knew it, I was being lifted and dropped onto the bed without allowing our lips to separate. 

"I'm going to flip you onto your front. Will that be uncomfortable?" He draws back with a kiss to my cheek. 

I wouldn't think so because I sometimes slept like that, though I'd be curled up a little on my side. It was too early in the first trimester for us to worry about squashing anything. 

"No, it won't. It's fine, I mean." I stammer a bit and Harry's eyes turn to green marbles of devious statements because he clearly enjoys my confusion. 

I am flipped onto my tummy and Harry keeps his hand on my lower back, disabling any effort to lift myself up. He kisses the little spot of revealed skin at the base of my spine, caused by the turn-over. 

"Want to take your pants off?" Harry's mouth is at my ear. "Or should I?"

Jesus, the man wasn't even trying to be as seductive as he coming across. All this just added to the rising pit of suspense, leaving my pants a little tighter and my heart racing to beat my forward thoughts. 

"Y-You can do it." I stutter. 

He slips his hands under my body and I shiver at the contact of his cold fingers on my skin. With deft little movements he drags my trackies off effortlessly, taking my loose boxers with him. 

When I try to see what he's doing, I'm met with an instruction. "Close your eyes."

I was never one for the thrill of not knowing what will happen. But suddenly Harry's hands aren't on me and I'm forced to smash my face into the pillow I drag to my level. It's the only way.   
He earns a quick shriek of surprise from me when his hands skid across my behind, probably by accident because he mutters an apology. 

"Lou?" I feel his body over mine. 

"Hmm?" 

"Look at me."

I look over my shoulder at him because his knees bracketing my thighs kept me from doing a full turn. 

"Is this too big?" 

My eyes almost fall out of their sockets because _what kind of question was that?_ Almost. He brings something up to be at eye-level with us and I study the odd object before identifying it. I break into a fit of laughter. 

"What?" He seems offended when he sits up with an embarrassed look. 

"Aw." I crawl onto his lap, kicking off my pants entirely and straddling his lap. "Don't be mad. Did I kill the mood?"

"You didn't. I just......I wanted to _try_."

I kiss his nose and shift a little in his lap. "I'm really not one for anything that isn't _us_ during sex but I'll try this since you wanted to."

"I understand and we don't have to."

"We don't but we both want to."

"You're sure?"

"I am. C'mon, Harry. I was waiting." I sit up on my knees and he kisses my belly, making me laugh. 

"Don't want to hurt you." He mumbles against my skin, holding me up with a hand on my back and one roaming up and down my thigh. 

The bottle cap snaps open, then closed again. Harry runs a hand up my leg, before slipping it between my upper thighs. 

***NARRATOR'S POV***

Louis gasps from the feeling of cold fingertips against his rim. He pushes back a little on Harry's hand. Harry takes a good while spreading the lube around that area, forcing Louis to stay up because the attention was making his knees weak. He tugged on Harry's hair to release some of the tension, and Harry let him. 

Harry feels for the toy again and pulls Louis down so he could see his eyes. "Ready?"

Louis nods and hides his face in Harry's neck because he hadn't been stretched so inserting a butt plug was going to burn. Harry nudged the toy in and Louis went with it, a little nervous but started to obey after being told not to move away.   
The object was simple because Harry didn't want to get one that was a bit too detailed. This one was black and that's it, Louis thought it looked like a doorknob but never said anything. 

It stretched Louis' ring of muscle open right to the edge on its way in, feeling not at all like how Harry felt. Louis' breathing was in pants and he let out ragged little sounds until it was all the way in. He slumped into Harry's arms and felt a kiss being pressed to his heated nape. 

"Okay?" Harry trails his hand up the little knobs of Louis' spine. 

"Yeah." Louis answers. "Feels weird."

"What kind of weird?"

"Good weird. Maybe I like this."

Harry chuckles. "Got packing to do."

Louis digs his nails into Harry's bicep when he moves. The plug shifted and he sucked in a shaky breath. "D-Don't want to move."

Harry shakes his head and helps Louis move a little off his lap. "We'll do it quickly. Come on, pup." 

He taps Louis' thigh and pulls the track pants on again. They had less than half the room to pack up. 

The task took over three hours, all of which Gemma remained in the house because she had her suspicions from the first time she walked in and Louis was moving around so gingerly. Louis practically cried when he heard they needed to actually load the bags into Harry's vehicle because there was no living way he'd do that in this condition.   
One tiny step costed him due to the nudging of his insides and pull of the plug against his rim. It was torture worse than any for the entire duration. 

Harry saw and felt terrible but he also knew Louis didn't hate the pain because sometimes little moans would come from the boy that they'd both ignore. They just had to wait. 

"Alright." Gemma walks in, yawning. "Y'all done?"

"Yeah. Thanks for the help." Harry cracks his neck. 

"Anytime." She punches his arm. "See you.....when?"

"Tomorrow, I'm sure. You're coming to the airport?" 

"Of course." They share a brief moment to hug. "Bye, big brother."

"Bye." 

Gemma hugs Louis too and by now, he's stiff enough not to care and hugs her back carefully. "Bye Lou."

They all knew she was just stalling. "Bye."

She leaves the room and Louis feels the shirt in his hands deserved better than being discarded so he folded it and put it in the only unsealed suitcase. The door closes downstairs and Harry's on him. 

"You're having more fun than I am." Harry growls against Louis' throat, sucking deep red bite marks all over the skin. 

"Isn't that how it works?" Louis' breath is knocked out of him when Harry dumps him on the surface of the study table. 

"Far from it, love." Harry attacks Louis' mouth with desperate kisses and wars he wins because all he needs to do is slip his hand in Louis' trousers and poke at the toy still inside him. 

"You're cheating." Louis feels Harry's hard-on between his legs and the anticipation reaches its peak. 

"All's fair in love and war, pup." 

Harry rips Louis' shirt off because he's waited for much too long to be granted a go at kissing all over the boy's body. His pants are discarded and they're both left naked, panting against each other. Louis' having a lot of firsts with this mercurial man. 

"Gonna take it out." Harry informs Louis before gripping the instrument. 

He wanted to see how wide it stretched Louis, since he didn't get to when he was putting it in. Louis moans and digs his blunt nails into the fine woodwork of the table when Harry tugs on the toy, pulling it out slowly. Harry kisses Louis' tummy and fully removes the object to replace with himself. 

"W-Where's the lube?" Louis' voice is torn, throaty. 

Harry slaps Louis' hands away from himself and coats his length considerably with the clear liquid. Harry thinks Louis looks absolutely stunning like this, skin tinted pink from the neck down and his hands so lost for a home. Louis' lip was worried by his teeth and Harry bends to kiss him one more time. 

He pushes in with a little resistance because Louis was still incredibly tight despite the stretch of the plug. Harry thinks he might implode if he didn't wait to calm down. But Louis isn't having any of that, because he tightens his thighs around Harry's waist and reels him in.   
Louis' hands find purchase on Harry's hips, gripping tightly as Harry retracts himself before pushing back in. He throws his head back, moaning loudly and high-pitched as Harry drives in harder. 

"H-How are you still tight?" Harry thrusts in and out, developing a strong rhythm that has Louis falling apart. 

"G-Good?" Louis asks because he needs to know that he makes Harry happy too. 

"So amazing." Harry can't keep from moving faster, the sound of skin-slapping-skin filling the room and raising the temperature. "So soft and warm."

Louis clenches at Harry's words and Harry groans, leaning over Louis a little to kiss him. He picks up the speed until they're both barely coherent to the world, pounding Louis into the table because he needed this after so long. They haven't touched each other in days and they both know it's not all that defined a relationship, but they still needed that attraction and intimacy. 

They're brought to their climaxes with shouts and curses, Louis making Harry desperate after coming first and tightening around his shaft. They move to the bed, still connected after Harry finds his release. 

Harry knew Louis liked it slow because it was more loving that way. It was never just sex for either one of them. For Harry because he's fought so much to get here, be with Louis like this. For Louis because he's waited an infinite amount of time to be loved this way, to stop feeling like he didn't deserve it. 

Harry makes love to Louis despite the bordering feel of sensitivity for Louis, and never breaks eye contact with him. Louis became shy during sex, more so than usual and it made Harry want to curl up forever with him. Louis makes the prettiest sounds as he grips Harry's curls and pushes up into Harry's round thrusts.   
They kiss lazily throughout and finally finish together, tired and tangled together. 

Louis smiles against Harry's shoulder, blocking himself. His fantasies were about doing stuff like this, in a big picture, how Harry's pace turned from brutal to gentle. 

"Okay?" Harry pulls out, dragging Louis close to his side.

"Could I ever not be?" Louis lays his palm flat on Harry's chest. They were sticky but neither cared. 

"I could've hurt you."

"But you won't." Louis curls into a C. "I love you."

"I love you. Sleep, meine Liebe."

Louis did fall asleep and Harry fought with himself before climbing out of bed. It was dark outside but he managed to place all his bags into his Jeep before leaning against the door. He opened the driver's side and retrieved the square white box, picking one cigarette out and lighting it up. 

He waited outside, staring at the fruitless tree in their front yard while he smoked, wondering why the Hell they never tore that sad thing down. Louis slept upstairs soundlessly, covered by Harry's sheets and slightly hidden by them all. He liked cacooning himself in at night. 

He wants to think about his life, what he's accomplished and what he has yet to do. It makes him nauseous but he has to. Louis came into his life and turned it upside down, though it could have been twice as boring if he didn't have Louis at all. He loves Louis, probably more than is healthy. 

Harry eventually stomped it out when he heard creaking from inside, and went back into the house. 

"Why are you up?" Harry watches Louis pad downstairs bare foot - something he told Louis never to do - in Harry's T-shirt and rubbing his eyes. 

"Put an alarm on." Louis' sleepy voice cracks Harry's heart a little. "Have to take my pills."

"Okay. Where are they?" Harry let's Louis hug his waist. 

"Kitch- Why do you smell awful?"

"Sorry?"

"You smell like smoke." Louis scrunches up his nose and steps back. "You were smoking?"

"I was. Outside."

"Why? I thought you never smoked."

"I stopped a while ago and decided to start again."

Louis' face fell because why would Harry say that? Was he the reason Harry started smoking again? 

"I-Is it me?" Louis' voice trembles because even though it shouldn't, his back hurts and his throat's a little sore. 

"No, babe. It isn't you." Harry insists. "I remembered why I started the first time and with all the new stress, I just- Lou? Meine Liebe, don't cry."

Louis was upset because Harry lied to him about not being the cause of the new cigarette habit. 'New stress' meant Louis and Louis never wanted to be a pain to anyone, especially not Harry. 

"Am-Am I too needy?" Louis grips Harry's shirt. "I don't want to be, it's just....I'm sorry. I won't do it anymore."

"Oh my love." Harry picks Louis up and crushes him against his chest. "What I do that's negative is never because of you. You're my reason to smile and what I come home to. You're never too needy, and you can always bother me for things. That's why I'm here."

Louis smiles a little after that. "I-I'm sorry."

"Stop apologising." Harry kisses Louis' hands. "You get to be only yourself with me, and you're pregnant so some things come with the territory. When you need me, I'm there."

Louis coughs weakly from getting choked. "Yay."

"I'm serious, love." Harry kisses Louis' cheek. "And I'm not smoking anymore. Ever. I'm sorry I upset you."

"If you want to, you can. Harry, I won't stop you."

"I'm stopping on my own. If I smoke, I'll just shorten my time with you in the long run. Can't let that happen, can I?" Harry tickles Louis' sides and the boy's laugh echoes around the house.

"I came for my vitamins."

"Right. Let's go." 

Harry carries Louis into the kitchen and sets him down on the table. Gemma didn't have to know. He gives Louis the brown bag and a glass of water. 

"What do you want to eat?" Harry asks as he rinses out the cup afterwards.

"I'm not hungry." Louis yawns. "Isn't it New Years Eve?"

"Yeah."

"Then why are we so boring?"

"Well, they're having a party slash ceremony in the Towns Square later. After we eat, we can go."

"Oh okay." 

"So what are we eating?" Harry offers Louis a banana because something must be eaten with each dosage of tablets. 

"You eat. I'm fine with this." Louis raises the fruit. 

"How about take-out?" Harry offers the temptation because Louis only ate twice today and that's not good at all. 

"You hate take-out."

"I'll learn to love it. Anything you want."

Louis thinks about it. "I want frozen yogurt."

"Really? Frozen yogurt is what you choose when I'm offering you anything."

"Please?"

"It's nine right now so let's get your frozen yogurt and go for food after?"

"I know everyone's going to be at this bakery and grill in the Towns Square. We can just eat with them."

"How do you know?"

"Whenever there's a public event, we'd all hang out there. My friends, Mom's friends, Dad's friends. It's a miracle we all fit in there."

"Okay." Harry tries not to frown. "Yeah, deal."

"I have no clothes. I can't look like this at midnight."

"You're acting as if you _don't_ have someone to kiss. It doesn't matter what you wear, I'll kiss you anywhere." Harry stands between Louis' legs and Louis throws his arms around Harry's neck. 

"You should write songs." Louis goes when Harry lowers him to the ground. "You've got a lot of lines to share, Curly."


	39. Chapter 39

_Tame your demons, before you become one._

***NARRATOR'S POV***

They stop by Louis' house for him to get dressed appropriately after Harry does so at his own home. Louis insists on being allowed to shower before leaving the house because he smelt like sex and nobody needed to know that. 

Harry waits like the gentleman he is, in their living room. The house was empty because everyone had already gathered in the Towns Square for the celebration, leaving all the streets in flickering darkness. Louis thought it was spooky, like one of those nights when someone suddenly appeared in the middle of the road.   
He got to ignoring that theory after his thorough shower, feeling warm and fuzzy as he smelt of citrus fruits and vanilla pods. He washed his hair and had no option but to comb it into some civilised form. 

A white T-shirt, black jeans and a light blue denim jacket is what he decided to wear. They didn't match but he didn't have a choice because all his other clothes were in the garage.   
Harry felt he was worse off, considering his clothing items didn't even correlate in any manner. He had his signature black trench coat, a light grey dress shirt with a few buttons undone at the top, and dusty black jeans. Louis loved Harry's hair open, but the man put it up into an arguably tight bun. 

They left together at quarter to ten, still heading for the only fro-yo bar in Middleston. 

"Maybe we shouldn't kiss at midnight." Louis says out of the blue, when Harry's pulling into the dead street. 

"Excuse me?" Harry wants to stare at him, but needs to keep his eyes on the road. 

"I meant, create a new tradition." 

"Like what?"

"I don't know, was just thinking out loud."

"You think strange things."

"It's the hormones, I think."

"Can't blame everything on the hormones, Lou."

"I'm pregnant, I can do whatever I want."

"You know-"

"Nope. Don't mock my logic, Harold."

"You're the only person who calls me that." 

"Excellent."

"It would be different had that actually been my name."

"It's a nickname, you're not supposed to like it."

"Did you take the wrong vitamins earlier?" Harry smirks. 

"I don't carry a pharmacy with me, which would allow me actually get my pills mixed up."

"You're in a strange mood."

"Is that bad?"

"No, it's cute."

Louis scrunches up his nose in distaste. "So every other mood is not cute?"

Harry laughs against the steering wheel while they wait at a red light. "You're always cute."

"That's not what you said just now."

"It was implied."

"Stop speaking in riddles, Harold. It's hard enough as it is."

"Meaning?"

"You talk slowly."

"I like to think before I speak."

"Think about riddles."

Harry should be angry, and he would probably be had it been anyone besides his boyfriend right there. "I love you."

"Insult me and say you love me."

"I didn't insult you."

"You said I'm cute when I overdose on prenatal vitamins."

"So you _did_ take too many?"

"No, but you're agreeing with what I said." Louis crosses his arms over his chest. "Traitor."

"Lou, you know what I meant."

"The light's green." Louis points to the yellow robot. 

"Lou." Harry tries to take Louis' hand but he just curls up in the seat further. "Babe, c'mon."

Louis ignores him because he can't find the right words. He was blowing this out of proportions and he'd undoubtedly cave by midnight, maybe even in twenty minutes. He knew Harry didn't mean to imply that he was a pain in the ass all the other times. 

"Louis?" Harry tries again, this time pulling off to the side of the road. "Love, I'm sorry."

Louis wanted to laugh at how Harry was apologising for something he didn't do wrong. So when he does emit a slight giggle, Harry is confused. 

"Why are you apologising?" Louis turns his body to face Harry. 

"Because you were ignoring me. I may not know what I did wrong, but you not talking still worries me."

Louis leans across the console to kiss Harry because he had the sweetest partner. "You didn't do anything."

It's like walking on egg shells for Harry, at least that's what he thinks. At the falling expression of his boyfriend moments later, Harry realises that the comment didn't stay inside his head. He wants to die because of the look on Louis' face. 

"What does that mean?" Louis' voice shrinks much like his body as he cowers away. 

"No. No, Lou." Harry tries to fix this because this time it _was_ his fault. "I didn't mean it like that, I swear."

"It's okay." Louis doesn't look at him. He's hurt for real now, after hearing that Harry feels so....unsure around him. 

"Lou, it's not okay. I'm so sorry, love-"

"I don't wanna go anymore." Louis yawns. "Take me home."

Harry's heart folds into a tiny ball of misery. "We have to go, it's a celebration."

"Not if you feel you can't say what you want around me."

Ironically, it's saying what he wanted that got him in trouble. "Louis, can I at least explain what I meant?"

Louis looks at him expectantly without uttering a word. 

"I meant that I didn't want to phrase something the wrong way and end up offending you."

"Like you just did?"

"I didn't know I said it out loud."

"That makes it better, Harry."

He sighs. "Don't you also worry about saying the wrong things?"

He had Louis there. "I do."

"Then you know what I mean."

"I guess." Louis gives in. "Still stung though."

"I know." Harry looks down at Louis' hands holding his own knees. "I was an ass."

Louis smiles because that coming from Harry's mouth was funny. "I shouldn't be so sensitive, it isn't your fault for thinking that."

This is not what Harry wanted to be the outcome. "Of course you can be sensitive. I love that you're sensitive-"

"You should stop talking." Louis laughs. "Tonight isn't your night."

Harry smiles because thank God that's fixed. "Can we still go?"

"Yeah, but I'm still tired so I'll probably fall asleep before midnight."

"It's going to be loud."

"I'm not a light sleeper. Harry, the frozen yogurt place is gonna close!" 

So Harry starts up the car and pushes the speed limit just a little because Louis was his life and the blue-eyed boy wanted frozen yogurt right now. They get to their destination at fifteen minutes past ten, and the roads are closed which makes Louis grumble irritably. He hated walking. 

"Come on." Harry comes around to open Louis' door. "It's not that far."

"Yeah well, you're not pregnant."

"If this is you now, I'd love to see you at full term."

"I'm not in the mood for another argument so I'm going to respond to that comment tomorrow."

Harry bites his lip worriedly and closes the Jeep door. Tonight really wasn't his night because everything he said came out wrong. The Bella & Boo Frozen Yogurt bar was a three minute walk, but they made it in ten because all the stores were open and Louis took his time getting there. 

"Should we get for everyone?" Harry asks while Louis chooses between the pink or green medium-sized cup. 

"Nobody likes frozen yogurt, Harold." 

"But you do?"

"Till my dying breath." He picks green. 

Louis was never one to conform to the norms of society, he hated societal standards and all their crappy statements. So that's what convinced him to take a bit of every flavour, not caring to look at the labels and decide if they were even nice. 

"My cup's not big enough." Louis frowns sadly, staring in deliberation at his choice. "Can you take the rest?"

"But I don't want all the flavours." 

"Please?" Louis was a cupcake when it came to choices, he hated choosing because the abandoned ones were so depressing to look at. 

Harry wants to say no, especially after seeing that root beer would end up in his share. "Okay."

Louis grins and thanks him before going to the toppings section. And if Harry skipped root beer, nobody had to tell Louis that. It's slippery outside, evidence of past snowing conditions evident on the sidewalk. That's why Harry has to keep a hand braced around Louis' waist to keep him close, and warm.

When Louis sneezes as they cross the road, Harry feels miserable for even buying the frozen yogurt. 

"Enough of that." Harry takes the cup away from the boy and spoon. 

Louis looks like an angry kitten. "Why'd you....what happened?"

"You're feeling cold, is what happened. I'll buy you frozen yogurt on a warmer day."

"But I might not want frozen yogurt on a warmer day."

"And if you get sick after tonight?"

"What must happen will happen."

"Funny." Harry lifts the treat higher so Louis can't reach it. "No."

"What're doing with them?" 

"I have to throw them away."

"You wasted money, then."

"It was less than thirty dollars."

"So?"

"We've made our contribution to the economy, now we need to try and not get sick."

In all honesty, Louis wasn't even going to go all the way with this argument. He let Harry have his victory, and they crossed the ongoing lane to where everyone was waiting. 

"Didn't think you'd come this year." The owner of Betty's Grill & Bakery was in fact Betty's husband, Nick. 

"Wouldn't miss this." Louis replies with a smile. He's been coming here for New Years Eve since he was five and made sure to bring Phoebe along too as soon as he could. 

There was a large opened window with stools set outside for this particular reunion. Louis' parents sat there along with a few other townspeople that greeted him. Gemma was there even, sitting with Phoebe at one of the tables. 

"Brought a friend this year." Nick is paying attention to the grill. "How's it going, Harry?"

Harry stood behind Louis, hands shoved deep into his coat pockets. "Good. How's business?"

"As usual. You and Louis here together?"

"We are." 

"Oh! That's why these two were on about their boy moving away to London."

Louis steps out of that conversation to sit with the girls under a Heineken umbrella. Harry sits at the bar to continue his chat with Nick but plans on rejoining Louis soon. 

"What are you two doing?" Louis sits down, drawing one knee up to his chest. 

"Hangman." Gemma admits, sitting back with a sigh. "I suck."

"I can help."

"Alright. You can choose the words and be the chairperson or whatever. I trust you will be wise." Gemma winks at him and Louis can't hold back his laugh. 

"Hangman on New Years Eve?"

"What do you expect? This isn't New York."

"True but there must be something we can do."

"Yeah, play Hangman." Phoebe drums her pencil on the table. 

"What did Nick say was on the menu for tonight?" Louis asks. 

"Steak, I think. Wasn't listening." Gemma answers. "Life is boring. Let's all go home and get some sleep."

"That's exactly what I said. Guess who didn't listen."

"Brother dearest is a stubborn....." Gemma scribbles on paper and holds it up for Louis to read the word _twat._

Harry happens to look at them and sees it, frowning as he wonders what brought that on. Gemma smiles at him and Louis looks down at his lap, laughing softly. 

"He isn't." Louis defends. "He wanted to be here."

"I have a car. I can drop you off if you're really tired."

It was tempting. "I promised I'd be here until midnight."

"Idiot."

"Hey!" Phoebe scolds. 

"Sorry." Gemma apologises and writes _Idiot_ on a page to show Louis. 

"There are way too many bad words at this table." Harry is standing behind Louis' chair. "What is going on?"

"Hey! We were just talking about you." Gemma's grin is enough to make Louis erupt with laughter. 

Harry frowns confusedly and looks to Louis for an explanation he doesn't get. He holds out a bottle of water with a straw in it for Louis. "Brought this for you."

And Louis felt extremely bad for ever laughing at Harry's expense. When Gemma is back to explaining some outrageous thing to his baby sister, Louis makes Harry sit and curls up in his lap. He'll never be ashamed of this as long as Harry didn't mind, because Harry was warmer than anything. 

"Thank you for the water." Louis is back on home territory when he rests his cheek on Harry's shoulder. 

"You're welcome." 

Harry turns his head, silently wanting a kiss that Louis shyly gives in to. They were forever in their own private bubble when they were together, there was no changing that. Everything else faded into background noise and all they paid attention to was each other. 

"Children are present." Gemma rings out. 

"Then look away, Gemma." Harry bites back, earning a giggle from Louis. 

Phoebe wasn't paying them any mind because she knew they loved each other, like her parents did. Louis yawned again and made an annoyed sound at the breeze that made him shudder. 

"How long were they set up for?" Louis asks no one in particular, noticing that the stage positioned in the middle of the road was prepped and empty. 

"God knows. Was here when I got here." Gemma rakes her fingers through her light hair. "Probably doing karaoke too."

"What?"

"You heard right."

"Please God no." Louis grumbles. "Don't tell Nick."

"Why not?" Phoebe asks her brother.

"Because Nick can't sing, Phoebs."

"Then why does he?"

"Because Gemma won't tell him he-" Louis looks over his shoulder to see Nick busy with his parents "- sucks."

Phoebe makes a funny face. "So will he sing now?"

"Probably." 

"We didn't even bring ear muffs." Gemma adds. "Damn karaoke."

Louis turns back to a very quiet Harry. "How come you weren't here for the other years? I saw Gemma but not you."

"Wasn't going to come out here for nothing." Harry replies. "Didn't know anyone."

"Everyone seems to know you."

Harry sits back. "Feels that way, doesn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Later." He dismisses the question as soon as it's out, mainly because Nick is coming over. 

"Karaoke?" He wipes his hands on his apron, taking in the stage. 

"No!" Gemma is upright from her sleeping position on the table. 

"The food's almost done so-"

"Louis' pregnant so he can't have regular greasy food. Right, brother? See. He needs special greasy food."

Louis' quietly laughing uncontrollably at Gemma's fervent wish to keep Nick away from the stage, but he can't make the man return to the grill to make him something. "You don't have to, Nick. Don't worry about her."

"Oh! I'd forgotten about that. Nah it's no bother, Lou. If Betty gets here with the boys and sees me feeding you that she'll have my head. I used to make this chicken breast with lemon." He responds coolly. 

"Sure? Let me help you then."

"No, no. Doesn't look like Harry wants that. Gemma can help me."

Even Phoebe is highly amused by the dumb look the woman has. 

"I even have a radio in there so come on." 

Nick doesn't wait for Gemma to follow him, and when his back is turned at a fair distance the remaining three of us burst into laughter. Gemma kicks Harry's leg under the table and my knee hits the table from the force. 

"Remember what I taught you about high notes, baby sister." Harry taunts when she gets up. 

"Don't eat the chicken, Lou." Are her parting words. 

"Not too much lemon on mine!" I yell back. 

"Is Gemma your baby sister too?" Phoebe asks Harry while I doodle on napkins. 

"She is." Harry answers her. "A very special one, as you can see."

"How big are you?"

"He's massive." It's out there and I half don't regret saying it. 

Harry pinches my hip and I squirm a little trying to get away. "I'm twenty-four-ish. Gemma is twenty-one."

"Oh." Phoebe nods. "Lou is twenty and I am six."

Louis never wanted to know why there was such a major age gap between him and his sister. Half of that question was answered now. 

"Is he a good big brother?" Harry directs at the little girl, who's watching her brother give her vivid signals to say what he instructs.   
The man grabs Louis' hands and keeps them pinned to his lap, firmly halting those actions. 

"He's the best-est big brother." She grins toothily. 

Louis silently cheers. "As suspected."

"Lou, look." Phoebe points to the crowd in front of the stage. 

Louis has to squint through the falling night, the twinkling stars that flicker in the beautiful sky, and the growing mass by the wooden dance-floor. He finally sees what she means, his parents are slow dancing in the center of it all. He's suddenly smiling as they do a miniature twirl ending in his mother laughing happily. 

"Where's your phone, Lou?" His sister asks. They're both watching their parents. 

He mechanically hands it to her from his jacket pocket and she expertly inserts his password to take pictures of the dancing couple. 

"They're so happy." Harry comments, apparently watching also. 

"Yeah. Always have been."

"May I have the remainder of this dance?"

Louis peeks at him through the corner of his eye. "Envious?"

"You've never danced with me."

"You never asked."

"I'm asking now."

"Not near my parents though." Louis quips as they stand. "Don't want to take that away from them."

"Doesn't look like you can take anything away from them." 

The song changes just when Harry grabs ahold of Louis, becoming one by Sia and David Guetta. 

"I love this song." Louis comments softly, resting his forehead against Harry's tall shoulder. "But it isn't slow."

The beat of the chorus belonging to She Wolf kicks in at that moment, fast and energetic. People lose their partners to just love the sound, but for Harry love was Louis so he didn't let go of him.   
Harry's lips go to Louis' neck, and starts singing along in a voice only Louis can hear. 

Louis giggles, tightening his fingers around Harry's and on his shoulder. "Sappy."

The chorus made Harry's hand go low, and bring Louis closer until there was not even a breath of space between them. Just like that, it all melted away again to comfort their private bubble. Harry focusses on the lyrics and Louis has never been more flattered, Harry's voice is gruff but still perfect. Harry's hand on Louis' hip controls where they move as they do. 

The song changes and Louis could fold over in laughter. Harry joins in because it _was_ funny. 

"Don't know this song." Harry frowns. 

"Everyone knows this song." Louis wipes his eyes. "It's Anaconda. It's a classic."

Though they don't pull apart, they see everyone else dancing with as much life as possible. 

"I'm not twerking." Louis states. "That shit is gym class all over again."

Harry chuckles and tilts Louis' chin up for a sweet kiss, letting the song conclude in the background. There's a wolf howl coming from the fenced forest behind Middleston's last abandoned building and Harry tenses but Louis smiles. 

"Wolves rule." He says. 

"They're predators." Harry clarifies. 

"But they're so loyal and work as a family."

"Except when Alphas fight and one becomes an Omega who dies alone in the cold."

"You're not telling our child any bedtime stories." Louis covers his yawn when the track changes. "If you know this song, I'll be surprised."

"I do." It was Body Language by Kid Ink.

"How on Earth do you know _this_ and not Anaconda?"

"People with bums worth celebrating like that song." He smirks. 

"First, thank you." Louis blushes but he will tell everyone it was the bite of the snow. "Second, you poor baby."

Harry rolls his eyes and hugs Louis because he feels cold. "This isn't even dancing."

"Does it matter?"

"Well it's a dance-floor."

"Technicalities. I'm hungry."

"I think the food's ready." Harry sighs. "I'm not smothering you, am I?"

"You are right now." 

Harry squeezes him a bit tighter but let's go. "Seriously."

"Seriously, no you're not. You're on the normal level of creepy."

"I just want you both to be healthy and happy. You and Peanut."

"And you too. We both can't be happy if you aren't."

"Then we'll be fine." Harry kisses his forehead. "Let's feed you."


	40. Chapter 40

_**[A/N: 40 chapters!!!!! This is crazy right here. o.O Listened to 18, Girl Almighty and Stockholm Syndrome by 1D whilst writing this. Cue the sobs.]** _

_To be loved and to be in love. All I can do is say that these arms are made for holding you._

***NARRATOR'S POV***

The countdown had begun from thirty, which was kind of unorthodox but it was Middleston's tradition. Most gathered in front of the stage where the major screen covered Times Square, all in fact. All except two. 

Harry was what crowded Louis against a wall, nothing suggestively sexual involved. Louis held the lapels of Harry's jacket, hidden by the grand shadow provided by the darkness of midnight. Harry had an arm braced on the wall next to Louis' head and he leaned in close. They listened to the countdown until it got to five, then they opened their eyes to stare into the other's eyes. 

_Four_

_Three_

_Two_

Louis was smiling widely and Harry was matching him in expression. Their lips met and parted after a moment. 

"Happy New Year." Louis keeps his hands warm inside Harry's coat. "With me."

"Happy New Year, meine Liebe." Harry kisses him again just because. "With me."

"I'm still hungry." Louis blurts.

"I figured as much." Harry takes his hand as the crowd disperses. 

"I swear, I worry you two fell off Earth with the amount of times you go missing." Nick sits at the head of the joined tables. 

Betty arrived with their two sons, Jared and Piqué. She sat on the other end and everyone gathered for the shared meal. Gemma was on my other side while they passed the corn around. It gets offered to me and I say no. 

"Louis' our resident corn-hater." Nick jokes. 

"You're so hateful." Harry laughs softly. 

"I love stuff." Louis argues. "Like pizza."

"That it?"

"Yes that's it." Gemma cuts them off, looking positively stricken after returning from her time with Nick. "Pass the salad."

"Please." Louis corrects, handing it to the poor girl. 

There's a shriek far off and everyone brushes it off as someone with a little too much excitement. Except Louis, because it sends chills down his curved back and the hairs of his nape stand to attention. 

The wind blows and Harry stiffens. He smells something off in the air and Louis does too. Nick is standing and then Louis' dad is. 

"What's happening?" Gemma asks at the sudden rising individuals. 

"I smell some-" Louis' dad cut off by a howl. A loud one, that's nearer than it should be. 

"Shit." Nick is running into the store and Harry is no longer next to Harry. 

"Stay here." Harry bends to whisper to Louis who's a lot more than a little unnerved. "I love you."

"Why the Hell are you telling me that?" Louis looks scared. "What's happening?"

"No, send them inside." Louis' dad says. 

Harry nods and looks at Gemma who does the same. "Okay."

The table is abandoned and everyone goes into Nick's store, all gathering by the glass window to see what's about to happen. Louis feels a tightness in his chest, as his mother does. She's holding Phoebe on her hip and Louis is absentmindedly palming his stomach. 

There's another scream, but of men this time and Louis is so confused. He hears heavy footsteps, many of them as they kick the snow. Harry has a gun, one that Nick gave him and Louis doesn't know why. 

"The wolves." Louis' mom breathes. "The fence."

"What?" Louis blinks. 

"That fence needed repairs. The wolves got in."

"Oh God." Louis wants to go out there, drag Harry back inside because then they're both safe. 

The wolves looks like a hundred in a pack, but there are only thirteen in reality. They growl at everyone who poses a threat and Louis sees a female across the street. She isn't moving but she's standing firm. 

Louis shivers when the gunshots ring out, feeling a tear of two form. He grips the table until his nails hurt, watching Harry's back like that will protect him.   
Harry had a shotgun, and when a black furry giant lunges at a turned older man, he can't aim and fire because that'll hurt the man. 

Harry is left to manual devices, so he gets the creature off by it's neck. Louis gasps because Harry could get hurt, the idiot. The wolf whines and Harry tightens his arm, ignoring the violent snapping near his jugular. This shouldn't be possible, but then the animal sags and drops to the ground in a puddle. Blood is on Harry's hands, coat and shoes. The snow is coated maroon. 

"Alpha." Betty remarks. "That was the Alpha."

"How do you know?" Gemma asks. 

"They're leaving."

"But where's the Alpha's mate?"

Louis suddenly remembers the female he saw, and he looks for her again. She was a beautiful white, a little filthier than the snow. When Louis looked at her still standing there, he saw why she didn't move. A little pup stood at her feet, hiding behind her leg. The pup could be grey but Louis wasn't sure. 

When they started to leave, scattering like savages, she finally shifts her weight. It seems nobody noticed her until then, because there's one more shot and Louis' body reels as he searches for the twosome. The mother has fallen and he can't see the pup. Louis panics. 

"Louis!" His mother calls to him but he can't hear her. 

He's already in the middle of the street, catching sight of Harry a little further down the road with a lowered weapon. He looks up and sees Louis, a set frown coming on and he's approaching the boy.   
Louis ignores that and races to where the female was, worried about the orphaned pup. 

She is still breathing, but it's heavy and strained. Louis can't help her but he wants to make it better. 

"Louis? Louis, go inside." Harry is angry and worried.

"She's hurt. She had a pup." Louis is panicked. 

"Are you hurt?"

"She's in pain, Harry!"

"I don't care about her. Louis?" 

Louis got up and was searching for the baby wolf again. He heard yapping in the corner by their post office. 

"Louis-"

"Shh."

Louis crouches down by the tiny figure, trying to make himself smaller to not scare the creature. 

"There's one more."

"He's a baby!" Louis snaps. 

"He's a wolf."

"You won't hurt him."

Harry's eyes are dark and very dangerous but Louis doesn't care. Harry won't hurt him or the pup. He touches the creature and Harry steps closer, he had his own family to protect. 

"Go by his mother." Louis finally says, smiling a little at the baby wolf. "Make it stop hurting for her."

"She's already dying-"

"Yeah and she's in pain. Please, it'll take long and she'll feel everything." Louis pleads with him. 

"Okay." Harry nods and hesitantly turns to deal with the remaining parent. 

Louis has the pup in his arms, holding the tiny form close to his chest when the gunshot echoes. The baby is far too young, and isn't able to comprehend who Louis is. He has black eyes that are lined with clearly visible blue, grey fur from between his eyes down his back. 

"I'm sorry." He says to the non-protesting creature. "I'll take care of you, okay?"

"We should go." Harry says when he returns. "They need to clean up and I'm...."

Louis nods, understanding. Harry frowns and Louis falls into his arms while he trembled. They were both mindful of the pup between them. 

"I was scared." Louis breathes in Harry's scent because his anger's subsided and he's just relieved. "So scared. I couldn't see you for a little while and-"

"Meine Liebe." Harry kisses Louis' forehead. "I said I'd come back to you."

"People lie."

"Not me to you." Harry assures. "What are you doing with him?"

"I'm keeping him."

"Are you-"

"Harry, he's a baby and he doesn't have parents. I had Hanayen for a long time and I know how to take care of him."

"He's a wild animal, Louis."

"He's a pup."

"A wolf pup."

"What do you want me to do then?"

"Give him to Nick."

"They'll kill him!"

"They have to."

Louis stares at Harry in horror. "No, Harry."

Harry pinches the bridge of his nose and takes a deep breath. When he opens his eyes Louis isn't there. 

He can't tame the frightened beating in his chest as he whips from side to side, trying to find his Louis again in the fallen snow and chaos. 

"Louis?!" He can't see footsteps because the grounds too tough for that now. 

He catches sight of a retreating figure, short and curvy which leads him to the undoubted conclusion that it is Louis. His head is bowed to keep the whipping air away from his tearing eyes. 

Harry reaches him in record time, taking Louis' waist with his arm but backing off when he sees the wolf pup in Louis' arms. 

"You won't change my mind." Louis says across the distance between them. "I can't leave him to die."

Louis saw the pup's mother suffer, before dying at his merciful request. He felt responsible for the life of this fascinating animal, since he sort of had a hand in its parents' deaths.   
Harry knows Louis is an animal lover and could maybe branch into eccentric, but his boyfriend was full of goodness and deserving nature. 

"Okay." Harry doesn't miss the brilliant smile he gets from Louis. "But we need to get him to a vet."

"Tomorrow." Louis promises. "It's been too long a night."

"Agreed." Harry drops the rifle slowly, knowing it was bound to be located by one of the hunters before they clear out. 

"I didn't know you....hunted."

"I did almost every weekend with me dad and those guys, that's why they trusted me with a gun."   
Harry keeps a space between Louis and him considering blood splatters and smears still decorated his clothing. 

"My dad too?"

"Yeah." Harry nods awkwardly. "Never wolves though. Always live game and maybe-"

"Don't say birds."

Harry hesitates. "Okay." 

"Harry!" Louis covers the grey furball in the side of his fluffy jacket. 

"I was hunting since I was......fifteen? I didn't know which animals I should feel sorry for."

"You should feel sorry for all of them." Louis is stealing glances at Harry's body and the stains that damage his attire. 

"Let's go....tell everyone it's okay now." Harry notices and feels uncomfortable because he can't decipher the meaning behind Louis' glances. 

Louis nods, reaching forward to slip his hand into Harry's bigger one. It was too warm and damp from something Louis didn't want to identify. Harry smiles to himself and walks at Louis' speed to the store. 

The night is so full now, everywhere there is action and surprise. Not the regular celebratory feel alone exists in Middleston's air now. While the world celebrated moving forward and congratulated accomplished resolutions, Louis and Harry's home sat in still shock. Their town was just invaded by vicious creatures of the dark, able to function alone and as a powerful pack.   
The fatalities and casualties were not tallied up yet, the stench of blood was still fresh in the air. 

"Louis!" Louis' mom checks him for anything that's hurt. She gets to his chest and freezes. 

"Mom-"

"What is that?"

Louis thinks telling her he was pregnant could have been easier. "Mommy, he's an orphan."

She looks at him, red-faced and angry. "How old is he?"

"Looks.....five weeks? His eyes are still blue and he's defenceless."

"His parents?"

"Was the Alpha. They're both dead." Louis barely gets out the last sentence, sensing Harry's mood shift behind him. Harry killed the pack's leading mated couple. 

Gemma knows that too, and she shares a brief moment of understanding with her sibling. 

"What about Harry?" Louis' mom asks. "Is he okay with this?"

Louis let's Harry speak for himself. "Louis wants him and I'd imagine......I kinda owe the pup."

"Okay. Keep him." Johanna folds. "Everyone's heading home because there might be a meeting at the mayor's place."

"Okay. Yeah." Louis yawns for the possibly millionth time that night. 

"You're coming home, yes? Gemma, you're also welcome since Harry's going to.......-" Johanna sees Harry give her a gesture to stop talking. "-maybe stay over?"

It was a terrible save. Louis looks up, "Go where?"

"He has to be at the meeting today." Gemma explains against her brother's wild motions. "Uncle Rupert got him the spot he had."

Louis frowns in confusion, turning to Harry. "You're on the council?"

"Can I explain in the car?"

"Okay."

They part ways with everyone else, taking the alley exit to reach Harry's Jeep parked diagonally in the park. Louis climbs in the passenger side and folds his legs. He watches Harry strip his jacket off and throw it in the back. 

As soon as Harry's in as well, Louis has a mentally compiled list of questions. "Explain."

Harry turns up the heat with a sigh. "Rupert had a seat representing his......company and now I have it."

"You didn't tell me." Louis scratches the spot between the wolf's ears making it growl contentedly and close its eyes against his thigh. 

"I only just found out. I was going to tell you as soon as everything died down, maybe on the plane."

"Oh. Well, congratulations." Louis smiles at him. "So what do you have to do as a council member?"

"Don't call me that, it makes me feel like I'm in my golden years. I'm just there to represent what Rupert and I do."

"You're partners now?" And somehow, that terrified Louis. 

"I _am_ the only family member who didn't turn him down."

"Why did they?" Louis thinks the wolf pup slept at a painful angle between his folded legs so keeps him in place. 

"They didn't want anything to do with what he does, we do. Lou, we don't hurt people for no reason or something."

"So you _do_ hurt people?" Louis feels......numb. All the begging went to waste because Harry used weapons on people more than animals now. 

"Only those-"

"Who deserve it, I know." Louis looks out the window. "Who decides who deserves it?"

"I do."

"Then how many people have......died because of your decision?"

"None."

"How many were hurt?"

Harry tightens his hold on the steering wheel and that's all the answer Louis needs. "Lou, they're always just drug dealers or-"

"I don't....want to know. Does Rupert kill people?"

"He has to."

"How do you get your money if they're dead?"

"Everything they own gets priced and sold."

"Can't you do that without killing them?"

"It's a principle, Louis. Our principle. We make it very clear that they're giving their lives for money before giving them the money. Most pay it back though."

"What if....normal people come to you?"

"We turn them away. We won't do that to them."

"You two have a lot of money-"

"But if those innocent people have any connection to us, they could lose what little they have." That's how Louis knows his Harry is still there. "Those who are involved with us, have back-up plans."

"The police in London-"

"Know what we do. We just have the software company in case international officials get involved."

"They _know_?"

"Yes. We're a major sponsor of theirs."

"You bribe the police?"

"Not exactly. That's another punishment, if those who don't pay us back are wanted by the police we hand them in."

Louis wishes this new information didn't make his brain turn into a whirlwind of fascinating fear. What Harry and Rupert did wasn't as traumatising as he thought, but it didn't make anything right. Maybe some of it did. 

"Okay." Louis leans against the cool glass of the window. 

"Too much?"

"Just enough." Louis closes his eyes. "How long will the meeting be?"

"Today? About an hour but they'll fix the fence and do a count of people who were hurt."

"Were there?"

"None that I know of but......maybe."

Louis feels that jab of sadness at the thought of people celebrating a coming new year but were attacked by what came unexpectedly. He hopes there were no kids hurt. 

"I won't go." Harry parks in their driveway, in front of Gemma. "I'm tired and your mom's there so I don't have to."

Louis is secretly glad because he didn't want Harry going out there at dawn to fix a bloody fence. He jumps off and fishes the house keys out of his pants pocket, giving Harry the sleeping puppy to hold. 

"What?" Harry just steps back. "No."

"He's sleeping, Harry." Louis takes Harry's arm and settles the animal in the bend of his elbow. "And he's _just a puppy._ "

Harry huffs but says nothing, now holding the dozing wolf with both hands. Gemma has Phoebe asleep on her hip, ready to put her to sleep and crash anywhere as well. 

"He's cute." Gemma smiles at the wolf. "How much did Louis fight with you?"

Louis was already inside the house when Harry answers. "A lot."

"You wanted to kill him?"

"The pup."

"Yes, the pup."

"I did."

"Monster." 

She meant it as a joke, a light tease but Harry stands frozen at the door for a little while longer than usual. The cold air nips at his face but he doesn't feel anything, even his sister thought he was being cruel. 

When he finds Louis upstairs after checking on Gemma in the guest room, he still has the little wolf in his arms. Louis hasn't showered because he wants to clean the creature first. Instead, he dug out extra baby blankets from when he and Phoebe were little, borrowed a ticking clock from Phoebe and sacrificed his Koala teddy. 

"What are you doing?" Harry stands by the door, sans his shoes that were downstairs. 

"He's used to being with his mom so I made a make-shift one." Louis explains. "I taped the clock to my bear that will sleep with him. The clock's like a beating heart."

Harry nods, feeling extremely guilty after all the effort Louis' putting in. "Need help?"

"You can clean his paws. I think he has a splinter but I'll get that."

"Okay." 

Harry goes to the bathroom and does a good job of washing the wolf's fur. Obviously, it had woken up and started wriggling constantly. Harry let the tap of Louis' tub fill just the base of it before putting it off. The wolf liked the water which was strange, he'd limp around and occasionally whine from the splinter.   
Louis hadn't finished setting up the little bed by his side for the new guest, so Harry took tweezers and got it out himself. 

"Happy now?" Harry found himself washing the wolf over the edge of the tub. 

It let's out a playful growl and sprays water everywhere. Harry didn't mean to laugh so loudly.   
Louis stood leaning against the door frame, arms crossed as he watched their interaction. 

The pup had milk teeth and couldn't bite deliberately, so he'd take a part of Harry's hand into his mouth but never bit down. Harry chuckled and continued to rinse the scentless soap from his fur. 

"We should name him." Louis speaks. 

Harry knew he was there, so didn't start with a shock. "Yeah. We should."

Louis kneels beside Harry. "What?"

"He's very naughty."

"He's a pup, love."

"What are our options?" Harry pours clean water over the pup's head, careful to avoid his eyes but unable to stop him from yapping and biting at the spray of water. 

"Loki." Louis offers up, the pup looks at him with a tilted head. "And I think he likes it too."

"Loki." Harry repeats. "Perfect."


	41. Chapter 41

_**[A/N: ]** _

_Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. - Aristotle_

***LOUIS' POV***

We finally nodded off at five in the morning, just when the morning birds ended their chorus and allowed us to sleep on the couch. Harry had showered and used the clothes from his car. Thanks to my dad everything that was too much, had been shipped off already to London. 

My worst nightmare had come true and I'd become a person who woke up at the faintest sound. Like the damn birds picking up their spirits and keeping me from sleeping. Harry was knocked out where he lay beneath me, head against a tough cushion and my body squished against his under the quilt. 

I didn't want to wake up and move around so just block my ears, closing my heavy eyelids. The door slams and they snap right open again. 

"Louis!" My mom shouts and I groan because _can I just sleep please?_

I ignore her and pretend to be asleep in a tiny gap between Harry's neck and the cough. She doesn't shout again and I feel the thick quilt be adjusted. I smile. 

"Where's he?" My dad decides to use his outside voice. 

"Shh! They're sleeping." My mom scolds and that wonderful promise of sleep is fresh again. 

"Oh sorry." 

Then they're headed upstairs for a lazy day. Nobody's going to work today and the town will undoubtedly be in shambles after last night, or this morning. The pressing memories put me to sleep in no time. 

I bolt awake when I realise I left both Hanayen and Loki in the same room, unsupervised. With an annoyed grumble I climb off an unconscious Harry who lied about being a light sleeper, and run up the stairs. 

"Lou?" Harry's voice follows me. 

My room isn't in a grand chaotic state, which is just fabulous. Hanayen is curled up protectively around the little new addition on my bed, with the Koala instead of staying on the floor.   
I'm too tired to go back downstairs and the bed's right there which is better than any couch so I succumb to the brave call of my pillow. This room looked depressingly empty now with just the stars on my ceiling as a reminder of what was here once. 

The door creeks as I slide in under the covers where the two pets aren't. Harry looks to be in a miserable state, ruffled clothing and dishevelled hair. "What happened?"

"I just-" I yawn. "-had to check on them."

"Oh." He doesn't even have his eyes open all the way. 

"C'mere." I pat the mattress lazily and he crawls up next to me, not putting an effort into covering himself before slipping away again. 

The next time I wake up it's seven hours later when everyone is bustling about rowdily downstairs. Hanayen is gone too but little Loki is balled up next to my hip, vigilant but unmoving. The bed is empty of Harry and I feel instantly cold but hear his voice downstairs in a bold laugh. He will pay. 

"Hey." I scratch the top of Loki's head. "Hungry?"

He just looks up at me before lowering his head to the sheets. 

"You probably used to eat meat but you're good to eat regular dog food too, yeah? Maybe I'll slip you some steak." I throw back the covers and regret it. "Come on."

After splashing some water on my face to ruin the remnants of drowsiness, I follow my newest pet downstairs. He seems at ease already, the tiny furry tail standing upright as he marches proudly. His feet were white, clean and so poofy until it darkened into light grey. 

I hear my mom in the kitchen, chatting up a storm with the deep but female voice of Gemma. Phoebe, I see, is in the living room with my dad tidying what was never catastrophic. Harry is by his lonesome, setting the dining room table with concentration. 

Hanayen wasn't allowed in the kitchen when it was in use, and he never really took to my dearly beloved so he was in the lounge as well. I should have put shoes on because as soon as I hit the tiled floor away from carpeted stairs, the chill seeps through the wool of my socks. 

"Oh hey, Lou." My mom walks into the room with three types of plates. "Did we wake you?"

"A little." I lie, feeling Loki rubbing against my ankle. 

"Sorry, honey." She messes up my already flat hair. "How's Loki?"

"I told them." Harry says, completing the place setting of one person. 

I nod. "He's right here."

"Aw he really is adorable." Gemma cooes. "Can I have him since Harry's having second-"

"Absolutely not." I shake my head, laughing. 

"I want him now." Harry speaks up again. "Part of our family, he is."

"Oh alright." She doesn't seem upset which I'm happy for. "What will we feed him?"

"That's-" The doorbell rings and Gemma shares a smirk with her brother. 

"What now?" I stand with my hands on my hips. 

Harry comes around to take my hand, pulling me back up the staircase. "People are here."

"People? What people?"

"People who are here to see us."

"Oh! Why?"

"Because we're leaving tomorrow and your parents wanted to host a special dinner." 

I let him pull me into into my room, shutting the door just as new voices join the previous ones below us. It's then that I notice he's dressed differently. 

"You look......fancy." I gather taking in his look of a half-buttoned yellow dress shirt, sinfully tight jeans and these brown boots I never took to. He even had a thin white scarf tied loosely around his neck so it hung down to where the pair of sparrows were. 

He smirks in a lopsided manner, closing in on the space between us. "I'd imagine you want to change as well."

"I do but everything's packed up."

"I can get what you want from your dad's car, if you need me to."

***NARRATOR'S POV***

Louis chews on the inside of his left cheek, making a hollow dip where everyone can see. "Would you?"

"Most certainly." The corner's of Harry's mouth lift in an innocent smile that makes his eyes all the more green. "For a price."

Louis raises an eyebrow and looks comical. "Of what standard?"

Harry opens his mouth to speak but a round of sudden laughter has them both in a little fright. "Later."

His tone when uttering that word was identical to when Louis had heard it last, a few hours before his last midnight when he asked Harry what he meant by an inconclusive echo. He makes a mental note to bring that - and this - up later at a more convenient time. 

Harry takes out his phone and dials Louis' number. "Talk to me through this so we don't have to scream from your balcony to the driveway."

"Okay." Louis felt a little inclined towards coolness because he's never done something like this before. Paint him easily impressed. 

"Be right back then." Harry makes to leave, grabbing and twisting the door handle. 

"Wait." Louis takes his hand for a brief moment. "I love you."

Harry breaks out into a major grin that not many got to see, before cupping Louis' cheek and kissing him firmly on the lips. "I love you."

Harry takes his own back hesitantly and leaves, rushing down the steps. Louis realises that his phone is ringing on his ex-study table. He rushes to answer it, before strolling out onto the balcony and becoming susceptible to the coming afternoon's cold breeze. 

"Hello there." Harry says first. 

Louis can see him exit through the front door and walk around the back of his dad's Kia. 

"Hi." Louis feels like a silly teenager because he was certain there was a romantic metaphor to be had in this situation. 

"Your dad's watching me through the window." Harry sounds perturbed - jokingly - by that fact. 

"Probably because he just asked for his SUV's keys."

"It's not like I didn't say it was for you."

"Your shirt's the only thing I can see of you." Louis mindlessly says. 

"Figured. This shirt was right at the top of my bag."

"I like it."

"Thanks, babe. Now what do I look for?" 

He had to trunk open and waiting, his head turns to where Louis' room is and spots his lover standing against the railing. Louis waves like the shy boy he is, and Harry waves back. 

"Um....what's appropriate?" Louis bites his lip. 

"No idea and I'm not the right person to ask. Clearly, because I dressed like the sun."

"My sun." Louis blushes, knowing that line was cheesier than anything that's ever left his mouth. 

Harry chuckles into the speaker and Louis thinks it's the best sound ever. "And I'm the one with the bad lines?"

"Hey! It was a compliment." Harry can see Louis' outrage all the way from where he's stood. 

"How? You're calling me an explosive ball of gas." Harry turns fully towards Louis. 

"A star." Louis puts his free hand on his hip and stares back. "The sun is a star and it's beautiful."

"It killed all of mankind in that Nicholas Cage movie."

"I'm not dead yet, Curly. The ocean will probably kill us before the sun does."

"The ocean will only kill us because of the sun!"

"You're acting like a polar bear. You're not going to drown."

"You still don't know how to swim."

"That's why I'll be the one on the raft."

Harry knew he was referring to Titanic. Louis was nothing if not posh in his movie-talk. "And I'll freeze to death?"

"No, silly. Have you seen our beaches? It's like swimming in a kettle."

And Harry laughs loud enough for the patrol car driver to give him a shifty look. Harry smiles politely to the officer and let's him drive on by. 

"Got me in trouble." He tells Louis. 

"Not as much trouble as you'll be in if you keep me out on this forsaken balcony. It's freezing, Harry!"

"It generally is at this time. I still need to know what I'm looking for here, meine Liebe."

"Oh right." Louis should be dizzy with the amount of pet names Harry has for him. "Um....I don't know. You decide."

Harry blows out a long breath. "How about this?"

He's holding up a red T-shirt that hurts Louis' eyes even now. "No. Oh! I know what'll make this fun."

"Fun? You make it sound like we have all night."

"Live a little, Harold." 

Louis goes into his room and gets the whiteboard hooked on the wall - he didn't want to pack it. He grabs a whiteboard marker from his barren desk and returns to the balcony. He writes _'No!!!'_ on the board and shows Harry. 

"Really?" Louis had to put him on loudspeaker. 

_'Yes really.'_ is his reply. 

Harry sighs. "Lou, maybe this?"

He holds up a black knit sweater with pin white stripes. 

"I'm going to drown in sweaters because of you." Louis remarks. 

"You look adorable in sweaters-" Harry sees Louis' shoulders rise as he prepares to say something "-and before you argue I think you're perfectly cute in everything else too."

Louis exhales with the breath he was prepping to use when speaking. "Good save."

"Wasn't a save, just being honest."

Louis feels his entire body heat up, like the cold weather doesn't even have a hold over him anymore. He's got Harry to keep him happy and warm. 

"Come back inside. You're wearing that and must be freezing." Louis instructs. "Plus dinner's about to start."

"Want me to bring something up on my way?" Harry keeps the phone between his cheek and shoulder, shutting the trunk door.   
He has Louis' soft navy jeans and the sweater now, which should be good enough. 

"What would I do without you, Harry Styles?" Louis flatters. 

"Have to find clothes yourself in the dark." Harry jokes. 

"I'm trying to share a moment with you." 

"Oh I'm sorry. I love you, Lou. My-"

"Oh shut it. You killed the mood."

"I'm incomplete without you-"

Louis rolls his eyes and grins as he steps back into his room, shutting the balcony doors. "Bring me a pudding cup?"

"That's not food."

"I know."

"I'll bring you yogurt."

"What's for dinner?"

"Roast chicken, about three of them. One's cornish though. There's vegetables that and salad."

"What'd you make?"

"I made the wedges and salad."

"Ooh. Looks like I never have to learn how to cook."

"No, you don't because I'll take care of you."

Louis' skin matches that of a tomato. "I look forward to that. Come up now!"

"Coming!" Harry hangs up and stops smiling when a car pulls onto the sidewalk. 

He should really be getting going but the person hopping out looked all too familiar, also they're headed right for him in their stride. 

"What the fuck do you want now?" Harry hisses. "You can't go in there, Edith."

"Don't want to." She drops the hood of her sweater. "Came to see you."

"Is it important?"

"You know who put that eel in the pool?"

"You." Harry answers. "And I won't kill you tonight for that because I have to be inside."

"Revenge for an eel is death?"

"Revenge for scaring Louis is death."

"Yeah. Fine. But that's not why I'm here."

"Why _are_ you here?"

"You're working with your uncle the devil?"

"I'm working with Rupert."

"Then you should know that the fence wasn't weak, it was cut."

Harry frowns deeply as he thinks this through. "Cut? By who?"

"You have enemies now, Harry. Enemies for life. It just so happens that I steer clear of them all while finding out about them."

"Wait, another cartel?"

"Not bigger but yes, another one. The officials don't know about them. They heard you were here and did this."

"They're obviously very new to all this because they don't know what they're doing."

"That's what I thought. They don't have a name and their leader is an American named Parsons."

"What's the grudge match for? Why are they after me?"

"I'm not sure yet."

Harry studies her expression. "There's more."

"There always is." She smirks. "You'd never guess who's their Middleston informant."

"You?"

"Will you- shut up." She gets annoyed. "No. Louis' mate."

Harry tenses and stares blankly at a tree above her head. "Niall?"

"No. Zayn."

Harry's eyes snap back to her. "The fuck- Are you serious?"

"Very. And you threatened him, you absolute ass hole. Now he's got it in for you."

"That's why they did that? People could have died!"

"Tell them that. I say, tell your uncle and prepare a meeting with Parsons. If Zayn's running solo with this operation then he's the only man who can end it."

"I will. Thanks for the heads up." Harry nods, flexing his jaw. "Come work for us."

Edith brushes her hair back. "Why the Hell would I?"

"Because you're useful and don't really want to be a shrink's assistant."

"True for both things. Fine."

"We fly to London tomorrow. We're taking my uncle's plane and you can't come with us but be packed by ten tomorrow morning and a car will fetch you."

"Am I flying commercial?"

"I'd put you in cargo holdings but Rupert is too good a man. Business class."

Inside everyone is smiling, laughing and having a good time. Up until the time someone screams in a shrill voice and Louis runs downstairs in panic. He was waiting for Harry who never made it upstairs and now brushes that off as he gets to the base of their staircase. 

"What is _that_?!" Their local gossiper but Louis' mom friend still, Mandy, exclaims. 

She's pointing to Loki who is hiding behind a chair now after being scared. Louis sympathetically bends and gathers the slightly shaking animal in his arms. 

"Mandy, what happened?" Her husband comes to see what happened. 

Louis' mom steps in. "Nothing harmful. Everything's okay, let's just-"

"They have a _wolf!_ " Mandy shrieks.

"You do?" The man asks. 

"We do." Louis answers. "But he's just-"

"That's what probably called them all here." Mandy accuses. 

"No, no." Louis shakes his head, feeling a little helpless. "We only found him this morning-"

"You _found_ him?" Mandy's husband glares at him, stepping closer. "They could come back because of you."

"They don't have a reason to. His parents are dead." 

Wolves didn't work in order of family lineage so long as there remained a challenger for the Alpha position. 

"It's a wolf, Louis." The man spells it out like Louis is dumb. 

But then Harry's there, present and defensive because someone was ganging up on Louis. He steps between the two males and shoves Mandy's husband back with a shoulder-to-shoulder collision. 

" _Don't_ raise your voice to him." Harry is livid, after having to stomach the recent bad news and now handle a pathetic husband. "You know why you shouldn't."

"I suggest you leave." Louis' dad just now walks in. "Today was a bad day for us all."

The rude couple doesn't let up and everyone fears the literal murder in Harry's eyes will come into play unnecessarily. Harry didn't think so, because nobody got to talk to his Louis that way. He felt so angry with himself for not being there at the start, where all of this could have been avoided. But he's here now and needed to reaffirm his status next to Louis. 

"Need an escort, Ronny?" Harry just got taller, looming over the man. " _Get. Out._ "

Usually nobody spoke that way in this house, but maybe today was a special circumstance. 

"Harry, calm down." Louis is tugging on his sleeve. "It's okay."

"The fu-"

"Harry!" Louis keeps his voice low but still outraged. "Enough."

Harry didn't understand why _he_ was the one that was being shouted at. He nods though and backs off, stepping closer to Louis.   
Everyone had gathered around to witness the showdown and it had become very embarrassing. 

"I take it not all of you have met Loki." Louis' mom clears her throat. "If he makes you agitated or uncomfortable, I'm sorry. He's Louis' and Harry's and they- we don't need the judgment."

Their guests seem to understand that, and allow Mandy and Ronny to leave without following which was a good sign. However, Louis had a matter to crack with Harry's temper and so dragged him upstairs for privacy. Loki was set down on the floor in Louis' room to move around while Harry closed the door. 

"What on Earth was that?" Louis let's it rip as soon as he's sure no one can hear them. 

"What?"

"That! The way you behaved downstairs, scaring everyone like that. What- Why'd you do that?"

"Why'd I _defend_ my family, you mean?"

"You didn't need to make Ronny feel inferior. You didn't need to _frighten_ them."

"I didn't!"

"But you did." Louis rubs his temples. "They're just misguided people, Harry. They'll never do anything so severe and you know that."

"Those misguided people were yelling at you." Harry's eyes were blown wide, lips wet and jaw tight. He was so thoroughly confused and in no mood to be fucking about. 

"And it would have stopped there."

"Louis, I don't know why you're fighting with me. I didn't....threaten anybody."

"What was the _'you know why you shouldn't'_ about then?"

"I was just trying to convey my point."

"And scare him. Why would say that to him? What does he know?"

"Nothing. It was just.....-"

"Don't bother lying to me."

"He knows what Rupert and I do so he.....tries to get me off the council when he can. He doesn't like what we do."

Louis just can't think straight anymore, nor can he walk in straight lines because he has a killer headache and just wants to eat something. 

He sits on the edge of his bed and tries not let the rush of thick blood to his brain make him whimper but the whole thing just _hurt._ His stomach hurt and he'd sometimes scratch his throat from irritating sensations, his back needed stretching but if he bent too far back, a shock across his front would send him into the fetal position. It was too risky. 

"It always haunts you, doesn't it?" Louis links his fingers together on his lap. "Everyday somebody brings it up when you.....I don't know, when you just want to have an empty day."

Louis keeps his gaze pinned to the ground, attempting to count the strands of cheap wool on his carpet soon to be former. Who knew where Loki wandered off to in this room? He counted to five and a half before Harry's kneeling in front of him, hands taking Louis' and eyes trying to find his. 

"Look at me, Lou." Harry doesn't succeed after a while. 

"No." Louis lies because two seconds after that he's looking Harry right in the eye. 

"I know it bothers you, what I do."

Louis laughs humorlessly. "How insightful."

"And I know you don't like that it's so close to home. But, Lou-"

"No, Harry. There's no excuse you can make to save your job...or whatever it is."

"I'm not going to."

"People who know won't tell me they know and they'll just keep looking at us differently."

"Lou, don't upset yourself over this. Please." He sits up and is easily at eye-level with Louis. "Please, I need you to be my sanity."

"But Harry, it's so much. You want so much from me and I just....I've got nothing left. Already I can say that. I want a normal life with you, a normal relationship. We're having a _baby_ and I can't have him or her come into this world when people are at our throats."

Harry knows he's been selfish to Louis, asking for all of him from the beginning. He's taken and taken until Louis was too dependant, too wrapped up in just Harry to have anything to share with another person.   
Harry secures the sides of Louis' face and brushes away the wetness he feels on the boy's cheeks with his lips. 

"I'll make it better." Harry vows. "I'll make this better for us, I promise. I can't stop people from what they might say but I'll do anything to make sure you don't get affected by it. Men like Ronny don't understand the importance of what I do, how it brings food to families' tables. He can't possibly speak for something he doesn't understand."

Louis smiles though his eyes are closer to empty. That's not at all what he meant but he's too tired - again - to go through it verbally. Sure, he wishes Harry could have another job that doesn't involve what his current one does. He isn't too sure what his point is, but maybe it's that he wants Harry to leave his job at being just that. He doesn't want Harry to be moulded and cut into what his job makes him.   
His Harry was stronger than that, and that's why he hugs Harry's neck tightly for comfort. 

"Don't change." He gets out. "Please."

Harry knows Louis was scared of his behaviour downstairs, and that it had put a damper on the night's festivities now. "I won't, meine Liebe. I'll belong to you every day when I wake up and every night when we fall asleep together."

"And everything in between."

**_[A/N: I have fans. I have fans. I have fans. I will tell you the truth and say I had a panic attack when I read your comments and some of you found me on Twitter. You just......I'm dead. I never thought this possible, you make life worth living honestly. I love you all so much :') :')]_ **


	42. Chapter 42

**_[A/N: Damn HTML codes make me cry. Things have been too smooth here lately so let's add a bump or two.]_ **

_You can tell me when it's over, if the high was worth the pain._

***LOUIS' POV***

Dinner was uneventful, taking the boastful laughter of our older guests into consideration. Everyone was very loud, very chaotic and not very cautious in what they handled. Over the dinner table, some of Dad's friends would make these jokes that left the rest of us normal people completely baffled. The women constantly tried to touch me, my arms or my tummy. It eventually got to a stage of too creepy and I'd hide from them. 

Harry had simmered down, which I'm thankful for. What I wasn't thankful for, was how he chose to act after our mini fight upstairs. No, he didn't completely insult or ignore me. He was welcomed into the somewhat elite club of men that made those jokes hours ago at dinner. 

Everything to follow, was history. 

When they sat with the Jack Daniels and Nederburg collection outside, he went with. Every round of laughter was laced with Harry's familiar voice and I'd sometimes see him leaning against the porch pillar staring into the house. I'd smile and he'd wave with two fingers and a smirk, no matter how many times I did it.

"Louis, where's the leftover dessert?" My mom rinses the last of the dishes and wipes her hands on her pants. 

"Um....the table, I think. I'll get it." I hop down from the high standing bar stool. "You can relax."

"Sure?" She's already resting her head on her arms on the kitchen counter. 

"Where's Phoebe?"

"Upstairs with Gemma, I think. Hanayen's up there too."

But of course Loki stuck to me like a biological attachment. It was endearing for the baby wolf to keep following me around like a little guard. 

I bring in the remains of Phoebe's trademark trifle from the table, having to stretch across the table to get it. I never did end up changing into dressier clothes, because who really cares? 

"I'm going to shower." My mom informs me when I re-enter the kitchen. "Your father can get rid of his.....people."

I laugh under my breath because Mom never liked Dad's friends all that much. "And what about their wives?"

"They're still here?" Her eyes blow up. 

"Think I saw them in the garden."

She groans. "I hate this hosting dinner thing."

"I know." I kiss her cheek. "Go shower, I'll tell Dad to kick 'em out."

"Asked for a son and God gave me an angel." She hugs me for a long time before letting go. "I'll miss you so much, Lou."

"Hey. I'll be four hours away."

"A whole four hours."

"Phone call away. Just ring me up." I mimic a phone call. 

"Aha." She gets going upstairs with a shaky smile. She hugs me once more. "Goodnight, baby boy."

"Night, Mom." I hug her back tightly, squeezing my eyes to keep the tears at bay. "I love you."

"I love you too, Lou. If Harry gives you grief, I _will_ arrest him."

I pull back with a roll of my eyes. "On the grounds of-"

"-making my son sad."

"You're just tired, Mom. Go to bed."

She finally leaves and I get back to washing the dishes. My dad's still outside with his mates, I decide to give them a full six minutes until I deliver the notice of evacuation.   
At the sink, elbow deep in soap suds and dish water I happen to look up at the metallic mosaic tiles we have on the wall. The image looks off. 

I've been looking at this wall for far too many years to not notice a difference in the pattern of door, window, glass pane. It's extra smudged tonight. My eyes dart to the oven door just to clarify with that reflection because I'm probably just tired and imagining things. 

Except I'm not because someone's standing there, looking at me. 

I hold in my scream and spin around to get a better look, just so my stubborn impulse leaves me alone. There was someone there, and now they're walking away in full black attire. 

Those tremors in my heart, originating from fear, return. Maybe it's just one of my dad's friends that got lost in a house they've been coming to since I was born. Not likely.   
Stupidly I approach the door and open it, peering out into the back yard. There's an unmarked SUV parked on the curb of our street, that kicks up and drives off when I make an appearance outside. 

Why were there people in our yard? And the entire bunch of useless males in the front didn't even notice. Maybe they did? Also not likely. I shake my head and go back inside, locking the door for safety this time. 

I had to tell someone. Dad? He's drunk so that'll be a waste of time. I didn't want to wake Mom up for this. But they aren't safe here if that person comes back. Harry? Who the Hell knows how drunk he is. 

The SUV was navy, and looked to be a Nissan - one of those recent models. I didn't see the driver but they definitely saw me. That was very, very unsettling. 

I pass the chatting women in our living room on my way to the front door. The pungent smell of tobacco and alcohol is revolting but there are more pressing matters to take care of. 

"Dad?" I open the door and interrupt my father in the middle of telling a story. "Can I um....talk to you for a second?"

"Oh. Yeah, Louis." He pushes off his chair and comes into the house. 

Harry straightened up as well but didn't approach me, though he looked at me like I was in trouble. 

"What's up?" My dad is most certainly tipsy. 

"There was someone in the backyard." I shove out. 

"What do you mean someone was in the backyard?"

"I mean....someone uninvited. They were wearing black and I saw them when I was doing the dishes-"

"Where's your mother?"

"She's upstairs."

"Alright. It's time everyone left." 

I let out a sigh of relief and watched my dad return to his gang for their dismissal. They up and leave without word to their wives, I take it I'm supposed to inform them. I'm never getting married if everyone became so damn annoying afterwards. 

"Hi, um....your husbands are leaving." I announce, quite rudely but I was tired and hungry so they could fly a kite. 

They kiss my cheek and leave after high-pitched goodnight's. I avidly wipe my face when they're out of sight and my dad's bringing in the full bottles. 

"What happened?" Harry is behind me, spooking me with his soundless way of getting around. 

"Um...s-someone was in the backyard." I say, rubbing my bare arms. "Someone I didn't get to see the face of."

Harry frowns and noticing my rubbing motions, pulls me into a hug to share his inexplicable warmth. He still smelt of himself, no alcohol or smoke which made me smile. 

"You didn't drink?" 

He shakes his head. "Wanted to see you sober before I left."

"Left?"

"Gemma and I are going to fetch Mom before we went home. Last night in Middleston and all."

"Oh. Right."

"So where was this intruder?"

I showed him the backyard where I had seen the unidentifiable individual. Harry stepped outside with my dad, like weird astronomers hoping to find something now after so much time has past. 

"Got a look at him?" My dad asks. 

"No. By the time I turned around he was leaving."

"Which way?" Harry now asks. 

"The hedge." I point to where I saw the vehicle. "A navy SUV was parked there."

"Number plate?"

I shake my head. "Didn't see anyone inside either."

Harry frowns and looks down the street. "Navy," he repeats like he's tasting the word. 

"Know anyone?" My dad is speaking to him. 

"Not anyone who'd show up.....like this."

Harry pulls out his phone and taps away without making a call, I can't tell who's he's texting from here. 

"Let's call it a night. We're reporting this tomorrow." My dad says. 

Harry nods and follows him inside, locking the door himself and waiting for my father to be halfway up the steps before cupping my face and kissing me breathless. 

"What'd I do?" I ask, looking up at him nervously. 

"I was so scared when you told me someone was here." He presses our foreheads together and breathes deeply. "If that door wasn't locked-"

"It wasn't." I bite my tongue. "I'd never have seen him if I didn't look up."

Harry pulls me impossibly closer. "I'm not going anywhere then. I'm not leaving you."

"Harry, no. You need to spend tonight with your family." I pull away from him with what little restraint I have. 

"You are my family." He just grabs on tighter. "Mom is with her boyfriend so I'll just tell her spend the night there. Gemma and I will stay here, if that's okay?"

"You're always welcome but are you sure? Your mom will want this time with you."

"I'll see her tomorrow, but if something happens to _you_....." His brows knit together in a steady frown. "I'd probably go on a rampage."

I shake my head laughing, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. "You better not or you're the first person I'm haunting."

He smiles into my neck. "Please do."

"Where's Loki?" I open my eyes from being pressed against the cotton of his shoulder and don't bother hiding my scream. "Harry!"

He becomes instantly tense and forces me behind him when he turns around, like an automatic reflex. 

I've never felt a scare as bad as this time. Outside stood a man in a white Purge mask with dripping paint, wearing all black and had his head tilted. Harry was still, not making a stupid move forward because this man on the other side of our door held Loki in his hand, unharmed but still protesting. 

I could cry, covering my mouth with my hand while I silently pleaded with him not to hurt Loki. The man shook his head, slowly before putting Loki down and bolting. That's when Harry moved. 

"Take Loki and stay inside!" Harry shouts over his shoulder while he follows the retreating figure into the night. 

The man didn't look armed but that doesn't mean I was any happier to see Harry go after him unarmed himself. I take Loki in my arms and go back into the kitchen, brushing his fur and holding him close while he quivered and I trembled. 

I waited for Harry and each passing moment was more chokingly painful than the last. Loki never left my lap and I tried not to make any noise, not wanting to alert the entire house. When the glass door rattled and I jumped and almost fell over if I didn't grab the counter. 

Harry came back and looked completely fine. Didn't stop me from checking myself. He took me into his arms after locking the door. 

"W-What-" 

"Couldn't catch him." Harry immediately answers. "But he's not coming back."

I look at him, confused. 

" _I_ didn't catch him but someone else did."

I shake my head through blurry vision and hide in his chest again. I didn't want to know exactly what Harry had done. Need-to-know, I understood it to be. 

"Don't tell anyone." He says, letting me set Loki down. "It's taken care of."

"What did you do?" I couldn't help myself with his ambiguous statements. 

"You don't need to worry yourself. I promise-"

"Harry, that man was absolutely _terrifying_ and he was in my house!"

"He didn't get inside and nobody will. I....I arranged for this house to be monitored."

"By the police?"

"The police can't do what we can, Lou."

"This is my family, Harry."

"Trust me, your family is safe."

I exhale shakily, nodding slightly and feeling the exhaustion roll over me. Harry is the only thing holding me up. 

"Who was he?" I whisper. 

"An old acquaintance."

"Do I know him?"

Harry shakes his head. "Let's go to bed, yeah?"

"I don't think I can sleep."

"I'm here, always will be. You're safe."

I reluctantly nod my head and feel a yawn coming on. 

We trudge up the stairs with Loki on our tail, he enters my room first and circles his little circle of blankets and my Koala before settling in. 

"Shower first?" Harry asks. 

I nod because my trachea was angrily grinding against the walls of my throat. He leads me into the bathroom and leaves the light off, stripping me of my clothes while I try not to fall over. He follows me into the average-sized shower section, holding my wrist until it's time to actually get clean. 

The warm spray of water steams up the glass and Harry takes the direct hit of the shower, wanting the water at the highest possible notch. I put my hands on his shoulders, my cheek resting on his right shoulder and let him wash us both. 

"This would be easier with a tub." He lightly comments. 

I take it as he not wanting to carry on so I withdraw from his embrace and mumble an apology. 

He grabs my waist before I continue myself. "I was kidding."

"Oh." 

He pulls me in again, completely supporting my lazy weight against him. I feel his hands go everywhere, sometimes roaming on my skin and skimming over my hips. 

When we step out, I get dressed in boxers and the shirt Harry had before wearing company clothes. He didn't argue and let me crawl into bed alone. 

"I'm going to tell Gemma we're staying here." He kisses my forehead. "Give me thirty seconds."

"Twenty." I wish my lame response was a joke.

"Fifteen then." He gets up and leaves the door open. 

I hear hushed voices and a couple lights go off, I turn on my side to face the balcony. I still saw that face though it wasn't actually one. When I closed my eyes, it was there besides the mindless patterns and I'd probably have nightmares about it tonight. 

When Harry got back he let me curl up against his chest, feeling the faintest indication of dampness from our shower. He tangles our legs together, one of mine over his hip and his hand braced on my thigh. His arm was under the pillow we shared and when I smiled at him, I'm sure it was empty enough for him to notice. 

"Lou." He brushes my cheek with his fingertips. 

I look at him, showing all the emotion I could muster in my eyes that brimmed with tears. 

"No, my sweet." He brushes away the tears. "Don't ever cry."

"I have a reason to, Harry. I'm scared."

He seems to have been hit by a truck, his green eyes darkening to something filled with anger before returning to its normal shade. "What will make you feel better?"

"Nothing."

"Lou."

"I feel like something's just getting started. I feel like it's only going to get worse and Harry, I never signed up for this." I'm so lost and try to find myself with him. 

"I....I wish I knew what to do. Lou, I'd do anything."

"Why is all this happening?"

"I don't know. Rupert and I are trying to-"

"Exactly." I place my hand under my cheek. "Your job."

"Lou, I can't leave my job."

"Why not?"

"Because my job's keeping us safe."

"Really? I wouldn't know because less than an hour ago a stranger was going to kill my pet."

"It's just for now, I promise-"

"Is this okay for you? You say that when you fumigate the house or get a temporary demotion. You _don't_ say that when someone's after your life."

"He wasn't going to kill anyone, Louis."

"That's not the point and you know it."

"Then tell me what your point is."

"We don't have to have people doing this to us at all! We can.....have a simple, boring life."

"Even if I leave now, this life will follow me."

I sigh and turn on my back, staring up at my ceiling. "I like boring, Harry. I want boring, with you."

His hand comes to my front, gently rubbing over where a coming bump would be. "I'm sorry I can't promise you that."

I chew on my bottom lip, eyes closed. "Promise me you'll help me make the best possible life for him."

Harry kisses away the escaped tear on my cheek. "For both of you."

We're in this now. "I don't want my family involved in anything."

"Lou-"

"Promise me, Harry."

"I give you my word. You, our baby, yours and my family will always be safe. There's nothing to fear."

I turn on my other side and let Harry crush me to his chest. "I want to believe you, Harry. I do."


	43. Chapter 43

_We'll take this to far. It'll leave you breathless, or with a nasty scar._

***HARRY'S POV***

We woke up with a stagger start, slipping in and out of sleep until we decided we couldn't delay today's events any longer.   
My arm's thrown across Louis' back, drumming my fingers on his hip as I listened to his breathing against the pillow. His lips were slightly parted to make way for intakes of air and he was clutching the pillow as tightly as he could. 

After last night I grew extensively cautious when it came to Louis, it hadn't been much time but a change had to be made. I'd have my work cut out for me in London, considering I had to employ a guard to Louis. 

Louis yawns with a tiny lilt at the end, a tired voice. He releases the pillow and stretches out across the mattress, smiling at me. "Good morning."

"Good morning, love." I stretch up on my arm to kiss him. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired." He turns on his side to face me, letting me play with his dainty fingers. "How about you?"

"Same." I lean over to look at the time. 08h47. "Today's a...big day."

"Yeah." He smiles, blushing slightly before dropping to the mattress and hiding under the comforter. 

I hear him mumble something and I chuckle because he's simply the cutest human alive. 

"What was that?" I pry his fingers off the comforter to draw it over both our heads. 

"I'm nervous." He repeats slowly. 

"I understand that." I brush his hair out of his eyes and kiss his forehead. "It'll be okay, Lou."

"Yeah?"

"Hell yeah." I get him to grin back at me. "You know I love you?"

"It's what you've been telling me." He cheekily replies. 

"Wrong answer, Lou." 

And I tackle him into the sheets, listening to his playful giggle that turns into a loud cackle when I tickle his sides. He has the softest skin and sweetest scent, especially in the morning when his scent was drowsy like him. I bury my nose in the juncture of his neck and inhale deeply, stealing as much of this moment as I can. 

"It'll be exciting too." He suddenly says, tugging on my hair so I'll look up at him. 

"Of course it will be." I rest my chin on his chest. "We'll go out to dinner and everything."

He rolls his eyes. "Like date night?"

"Date night sounds right. Let's do that."

"I'm getting my boring-ness, it seems." 

He sits up, taking me with him for a lazy kiss. It's just lips meeting and he tastes like the toothpaste he brushed with last night. I spread his knees a bit to prevent a painful puncture somewhere vital, settling between his thighs with my clenched fists pressing deeper into the springs. 

"Let me lock the door-" I try to contain my motives until I'm sure the rest of the house is still asleep. 

"No, we can't. Have to get up." He insists, wriggling around until he slides out from under me. 

"But..." I follow his figure with my eyes as he ducks into the bathroom. 

"Mom's rule is that we don't do anything in this house." He explains when I walk into the bathroom and he's preparing to shower. 

"I respect that but can I ask why?"

"Don't know. I'll ask though."

"No!" I immediately respond in a voice too loud for eight in the morning. "It'll be an odd question for right now."

"Okay." He gives me a quizzical look before returning to fishing out towels from a high cabinet. "Now, I need to shower."

"And then?"

"You need to not be in the bathroom." I admire his form when he cocks his hip for emphasis. 

"Really? I could sit here-" I sit on the closed toilet seat. "-and talk to you."

"While I shower?"

"I love your voice that much." 

Louis' cheeks turn pink and I think I'm drooling. "You just want to see me naked-"

"I already-"

"-again." He finishes and doesn't stop me from kissing him again. "We're disgusting."

I let a chuckle slip out. "How so?"

"Neither of us have brushed our teeth yet."

"Right." I think it over. "Might as well make the most of it."

He squeals when I pin him to the counter and distract his thoughts with a firm kiss that turns soft. His hands get lost in my lifeless hair and I press my fingers into the delectable flesh of his thighs.   
When he let's me bite his lip I step back to close and lock the bathroom door, not hearing any argument from Louis. 

"Nah uh. Stop." He tries to push me away when we're under the spray of the shower and soaking wet in our clothes. 

Not to mention, my boxers have never been this uncomfortably tight before. "Lou."

"Breaking rules isn't fun."

"It is." I press his back flush against the wall for good measure, he's all but helpless. "I love you so much."

"I love you, Harry." His head falls back against the tiles when I start sucking love-bites into the warm skin. "But you're an idiot."

"I'm your idiot." 

"We're not going further than this."

But he is weak and pliant two minutes later, dreamily mumbling into my ear and telling me to get on with it. 

"I thought we weren't going any further." I lift him a little higher, rubbing our crotches together and he mewls. 

"T-That was before."

"Before what?" I tease. 

"Harry." He moans but it comes out as a whimper. 

"Alright, pup." 

I grant him mercy and slowly enter him, with a little prep just to ensure he didn't get hurt. He keens when I bottom out and smashes his lips to mine, creating a messy kiss just to make the adjusting wait interesting. I support his weight by his knees, hooking them over the bend of my elbows and really testing his flexibility. 

"No noise, love." I warn him. "This moment's ours, yeah? Just ours."

He nods, eyes screwed shut and lip bitten raw. We were wet and everything was slippery but that didn't matter. 

I knew Louis was extremely vocal, and so being quiet was going to be a great challenge. He bit on his knuckle when I first started to move, dropping my head onto his shoulder and effectively folding him in half. Everything was overwhelming with Louis, uncontrollably so and it drove me to insanity. 

He felt amazing, and the tiny sounds he just had to let out made it harder for me. He was warm, tight around me and so warm to hold, skin soft and easy to mark. 

"H-Harry." His nails dig into my shoulders. 

I wanted to curse but held it in, speeding and aiming my thrusts instead. He was falling apart and I willed it to go faster. I retracted and plunged into him, imagining what he'd sound like if we were all alone. 

"Louis." I give him time to answer me. "Close?"

He nods, probably not wanting to use his voice. 

That deep pool has started to tighten, pulling on all my lower muscles as I move faster. His arms are wrapped around my shoulders, holding me against him so there's no space. I nip at his throat, already red and littered with several marks of my claim.   
His hips meet me halfway, making this all the more satisfying. He can't help it and let's out little huffs into my ear, tiny sounds of strung pleasure. 

"Tell me what you want, Lou." I suddenly asked, noticing and confirming that Louis was very quiet during sex. 

"F-Finish." He encourages. 

I will remember to bring that up again, because right now really isn't the best time. He let's me use him after his release, continually hitting his swollen prostate to bring him over again. 

"Look at me." I press our foreheads together. "Open."

He opens his eyes and they're the most glorious I've seen them, wet but from happiness. I drove up into him until I let go, filling him up. He let's out a pleasant sigh and his body goes lax. He came twice so he should be tired, true from the half-lidded state of his eyes now. 

I take a moment to get my breathing back to normal, Louis starts squirming. I pull out and drop his legs to my waist from my shoulders. 

"There wasn't really a rule." He says into my ear, giggling. 

"Then I don't feel all that bad now-" I grab the shower gel. "-for making you sore."

"I'm not sore." He frowns then hisses after I set him on his feet. "Okay fine."

"I'll never get enough of you." I secure the side of his face in my hand. "Meine Liebe, you are intoxicating."

"Then take all of me." He bumps my nose with his. "Keep me for yourself."

"Oh I intend to." I kiss him, my palms on the wall above his head. "You won't have to be quiet when we're in London."

"We'll have neighbours."

"Our building's empty for now."

"Oh? Cool."

"Aha. There'll be a lot more of these moments."

"I think my bum just cried." He laughs at that. 

I lower my lips to his ear. "Those aren't tears, darling." 

At breakfast Phoebe asks Louis why he's moving so carefully, and he tells her he fell getting out of bed while I try not to antagonise him. 

Nobody suspected anything because it really was an informal rule, that wasn't necessarily prevalent when I took it up with Louis' mom while he gawked in horror.

"Oh. Yeah, I just tell the kids that to a reaction." She tells me at the stove. 

Louis was just waiting for me to join everyone at the breakfast table, definitely planning to stab me with something. 

"Okay. Thank you." I excuse myself with my plate and go sit beside Louis who's at the head of the table. 

"I hate you very much right now." He says as soon as I'm in the chair. 

"Love, hate. Same thing." I press a kiss to his cheek. 

It was quite warm outside but he had to wear a turtle neck for Phoebe's reason of thinking ahead and being prepared for London's temperature. 

Louis was staring at something, and when I follow his gaze it's the glass kitchen door. I sigh and take his hand in mine under the table, shocking him out his mind.   
If anyone else was me, they'd have seen those flecks of green in his eyes turn a little dark from fear before returning to normal. 

"Don't." I shake my head, whispering to him. "Please."

He gives me a small smile and looks down at his food, taking his hand back. Moments later I feel his legs stretch and sock-covered feet settle in my lap, letting me know I didn't entirely fail. 

"I volunteer to swap seats with Harry." Gemma says from across the table. 

"No. Go away." I jokingly glare at my intrusive sister. 

She goes back to eating and Phoebe is talking to Louis. The TV comes on in the living room before Louis' dad walks in. 

"Damn. You guys don't mind me looking like a hermit, right?" He says first thing after seeing Gemma and I. 

"Don't stress, Mr. Tomlinson. Harry looks much worse at home." Gemma remarks. 

Louis laughs into his arm, covering it up as a cough. I shake my head when those two share a high-five. 

"Good luck to you, Lou." Gemma finally puts in. 

"I think I'll manage." He answers her.

"You two are the worst influences for Phoebe." I state out loud. 

"Harry doesn't smell bad." Phoebe says from behind her Toy Story fork. 

Everyone breaks into a fit of laughter, exploding loudly all around the table. Gemma slaps her knee, as do I and Louis' dad sits next to me. 

"What's the fuss?" He asks. 

"Nothing, Pa." Louis answers, still snickering. He and Phoebe share a moment of amused understanding. 

"Calm down." Gemma tells him, keeping her eyes down. "Harry, pass the pancakes please."

I locate the plate and hand it to her over the untouched salad. It looks colourful and shouldn't be ignored so I take some into my plate. "Lou?" 

"Hmm?" He turns his head away from his mom who just joined us. 

I hold my fork up with a papaya block at the end, he makes me proud by not asking questions and just eating it. 

"Oh! That reminds me." His mother wakes up again. 

"What?" Gemma enquires. 

"I made Louis this." She comes back with a clear glass of green liquid. 

Louis visibly paled. "What.....moss?"

"Shut up." She ruffles his hair. "It's spinach juice."

I frown confusedly at the bubbles at the top. "Is it supposed to have that foam?"

"Yup." She answers. "Drink it, Lou."

"But what did I do wrong?" He whines. "Please, it looks gross."

"It doesn't taste that bad."

"Does it have sugar?"

"No. What's the point then?"

"Harry, drink it first." Gemma comments. 

"What? No." I glare at her. 

"Drink it, Lou. It's really good for the baby."

"Fine." He folds his argument as soon as the baby - our baby - is mentioned. He swallows the entire glass in one go with a plugged nose. "Tastes.....not that bad."

"See!" His mom accuses. "Now Harry's making you this everyday in London."

"I am." I confirm. 

"I have a feeling telling me you two plot against me while I'm vulnerable." Louis stabs his waffle. 

"You're never vulnerable, son." His mom waves his comment away. 

"You have me, that's why." I speak in a low voice, offering him a peach slice that keeps escaping my fork. 

"Sap." He manages to bite the end before it slides off. 

"So what will you two first thing in London?" Louis' mom asks, looking at her plate. 

"Sleep."

"He'll sleep." I pick kiwi for him next, holding it to his lips after he's taken his chunk of waffle. "I'll unpack."

"Don't you want to go out? Do something?" 

"Maybe we will, but it's going to be late when we get there. Possibly dinner and we could visit some shops. We have like....until the fifth which is when Louis starts uni and I start work."

"Oh that's good then, you've got a few days to get familiar with the routes and things." 

I nod, eating from my own plate now while my food sits as a depressingly low temperature. 

***NARRATOR'S POV***

The time for goodbye's made Harry uncomfortable. Everyone was in tears, even Gemma which made him extremely antsy. He never understood these moments in cliché movies and he doesn't get it now. 

Loki was allowed to accompany them on board since it was a private plane that had no rules besides their own, so Louis trusted the wolf to follow as they walked. He did so loyally.   
Louis really didn't want to, claiming that people will snatch him up or he'll get lost. Harry had to carry Loki for a short distance even. 

He was a perfect - or so - gentleman to everyone though, he still hugged each of Louis' family members that would return it and he held onto Louis' hand through it all. Louis was focused on the soothing repetitive motion of Harry's thumb brushing over his knuckles the entire time. 

Louis hated the Middleston airport because besides it being massive, the boarding gates didn't allow for any non-passengers to surround it. Louis almost considered writing a strongly worded letter to the supervisors. 

But then Harry was leading away from the usual boarding area for general flights and Louis remembered that he need not worry over that matter for now. He looked at the ground, avoiding envious glares and looked at his hand swathed by Harry's as they approach the private boarding section. His family was allowed to go right up to the connecting corridor before being stopped. 

Louis' never been in a private plane, and so he was absolutely blown away by this one. Harry assured him it was near mediocre but Louis waved him off because he had no right degrading such a beauty.   
There was no use waving out the window so he sat quietly on a seat by the window, legs folded under his body and staring out at the zipping tarmac. 

"What are you thinking?" Harry asks him, he's been watching Louis like a possessive hawk ever since he woke up. 

Sure they were on home ground and he never really considered many people to be a threat up until and excluding last night, but now they're going to foreign soil where _everyone_ was a threat. 

"That we're going to be thirty-two thousand feet in the air and the highest I've been is the twentieth floor in that abandoned building on Bakers Street." Louis looks serious, lip bitten and eyes wide. 

"You've been to that building?" Harry frowns. 

"Is that all you heard from what I said?"

"You have no reason to be afraid of heights, Lou. This plane is the safest out there."

"What did the architect say about the Titanic?" Louis quirks his eyebrow. "He said it'll survive anything."

"Those engineers were useless. Just enjoy the flight and don't be scared."

"Are you nervous?" Louis asks once they're at their peak height, no more slanted height to make Louis' stomach drop into the ocean. 

"About London?" Harry unbuckles his seatbelt. 

Louis thought Harry looked particularly funny today. He chose a loose baby blue shirt that had images of tropical trees on it, his customary dusty blue jeans and those light brown slightly heeled boots. Louis liked that Harry chose to wear the most random, mismatched items from his closet because it worked so well for him. 

"Hmm." He hums, releasing the catch on the latch on his front. 

"A little bit, I suppose. But that's normal. I mean, it's an entirely different ball game." Louis keeps his gaze on Harry when he talks, nodding. "Are you nervous?"

"I have been asked that nearly a million times in the past half hour." Louis laughs, leaning back in his seat opposite Harry. 

"Okay then, have you or will you experience any form of......anxiety when you came or will come to terms with your move to London?" 

Harry rephrases the entire question and Louis started out grinning before breaking into a brave laugh. 

"I tried." Harry shrugs, a little pout on his lips from Louis' mockery. 

"Thank you. I do appreciate that, really." Louis watches Loki sniff around the bar's legs. "I'm excited, and that comes with its fair share of.....anxiety. I'm good though."

Harry gets up to get them water from the mini fridge - just his and Louis' from the counter. He pours the water into tumblers, half ice water and half room temperature for a good balance. 

"What time do we land?" Louis asks, accepting the water gratefully. 

"Four or five hours time." Harry answers, raking his fingers through his damp hair. "I have work to do and I just don't want to do any of it."

"What kind of work?"

"The paper kind."

"Oh. That's harsh."

"You have no idea. They're supposed to have a damn accountant."

"Why are you doing it?"

"I just need to look over everything. Being in this business, people are forever trying to scrape a bit off the top of our accounts."

Louis' eyes widen. "Isn't that....risky? For them."

"Extremely but they're all idiots, apparently."

"What happens to them when they're caught?"

"Depends who catches them." Harry regards Louis cautiously. "We all have different accounts to handle."

"If it's you?" Louis picks Loki off the floor and sets him in his lap. 

"Don't know. I haven't caught anything suspicious yet."

Louis nods, accepting and not fighting that answer because this was real for him now. This was every day and every night, all in between and what has latched itself onto his life. When he passed those boarding gates, he said yes and now there's no going back.   
He wasn't thinking about turning back, he hadn't been convinced to. He hopes like he breathes that he won't ever be. 

The sun is harshly shining through the glass and Louis pulls the plastic board down. 

"There's a bed back there, if you want to sleep." Harry points with a pen to a door down the narrow passage. 

He had his laptop set up for the past hour and was concentrating on that, studying figures and eyes darting from screen to page. Louis admired his working physique because it was so defined, thoughtful and busy. 

Louis doesn't answer him because he knows if he did, Harry wouldn't hear him. He occupies himself with his phone for the next hour before Harry separates from his work. 

"All done." Harry cracks his knuckles and closes his Macbook. 

"Found anything?" Louis asks curiously through a yawn. 

"One thing but it could be a PC error. When we land I'll make a call to Rupert and find out."

"You can't call now?"

"I can but I want a nap right now. Join me?"

Louis eagerly accepts the offer to sleep during the day, whilst lost in the clouds and to the world. They fall asleep on the comforter after only shedding their shoes, Louis' head on Harry's arm and Harry's free hand on his lower back. 

Three and a half hours later the seatbelt warning goes off and they're given eight minutes before landing in London's international airport. 

**_[A/N: OKAY WAIT BEFORE YOU RUN OFF: Some folks have been confused about Edith's place in this story. Okay, so she's basically minor 'villain' that will help out in the climax, she's a building block. Don't stress over her purpose right now, that will be revealed. There are a few bad guys still to come because I am quite nutty.]_ **


	44. Chapter 44

_Someday you're gonna see the things that I see. You're gonna want the air that I breathe._

***LOUIS' POV***

Harry was suspiciously stalling when it came to leaving the airport and go to the apartment. I can gladly say that I no longer felt that scary tightness in my chest, because when I did I'd grip Harry's hand a little more and he'd smile. 

"Harold, we're going to get there tomorrow at this rate." I state truthfully in the middle of the sheltered parking. 

"No we won't, babe." He drapes an arm over my shoulders. "I just don't remember which car we're supposed to take."

"You've been thinking about it for thirty minutes."

"There's only one car of ours here so......hang on." 

He pulls out his phone with his free hand and I set my bag on the floor, sitting on it with Loki doing twirls next to me. 

"Slow down, Loki." I brush his fur and he turns to look at me. 

Harry dials a number and speaks softly to that person, while I feel my body settle on the ground. I might as well get comfy down here for the night. 

"Okay, I know what we're doing." He proclaims, extending his hand for me to take. 

I do. "What's that?"

"It's parked over there." He takes my bag as well as his and I get to push the trolley-thing we pay to use. 

It's a freaking white Range Rover and the only one in the lot. I'm surprisingly energetic and not all that against the thought of unpacking. We load everything into the SUV and Harry doesn't get inside, he just stands by the driver's door with his arms crossed. 

"What now?" I want to stamp my foot because we're in London and he's just.....standing there. 

"We have to wait for my men."

"What men? Why?"

"They need to be behind us when we leave and-" He suddenly presses me against the side of the car, towering over me. "-you're full of energy, aren't you?"

"Is that a bad thing?" I keep my eyes on his, knowing that Loki is safely inside. "I didn't really eat anything but I'm a little hungry now and-"

He silences my rambling with a kiss, forceful and could have hurt my teeth from the crash. His hands settle on my hips and he pulls me flush against him, my fingers threading through his curls. His leg is between both of mine, kiss deepening and allowing us to forget that we're in the middle of a parking lot. 

The speakers on the cement pillars are playing music, and a familiar comes on. It causes Harry's laughter against my lips and a retraction. 

"That song haunts me." He says, eyes flickering to an approaching vehicle behind me. "They're here."

He's suddenly tense and I don't understand because two minutes ago he was a little more enthusiastic. I keep that thought stored away when a window-tinted navy vehicle pulls up. 

"H-Harry?" My heart thunders in my chest, because I _know_ this vehicle. "This is the van."

He lifts and drops his chin slowly, keeping his eyes on it. "I know."

"What?" 

But then the door's opening and three men pile out. I fist the back of Harry's ridiculous shirt but he seems at ease which is not okay right now. 

"Sorry we took long, traffic sucks." One individual with a buzz cut says, lopsided smile and all. "Hi there."

I realise that he's talking to me and I don't know what to do. "Hello."

Harry steps forward a little bit and acknowledges the other two men as well. "What's new?"

"Nothing." They're awfully relaxed and it intrigues me. 

"Remember me?" The first man asks me, again. 

"Sorry?" I frown collectively. 

"Oh! Hang on."

"Charlie, get back here." Harry instructs when the man goes to the van. 

His tone is light so it's no surprise when _Charlie_ expresses no sign of obeying. "One second, Boss."

Boss? Okay then. Charlie returns with something in a bag and extracts that horrific white mask from it. I gasp and step back, much to his amusement and Harry's chagrin. 

"Enough." He snaps. "Get in the car, we're leaving."

Charlie nods, tossing the mask I follow with my eyes back into the van and everyone climbs in. 

"Harry." I'm exuding my anger in waves. "Why did he have that?"

"Later, Louis."

"No. Not later. We never seem to get to it when you say later. Tell me _why_ that man has the mask of the intruder from last night?"

"I promise I'll explain when we get home."

And I am forced to hold him to it, not uttering a word until we're inside our new building. He unlocks the door with a key from the ash tray of the Range Rover, and while I _really_ want to explore and be excited I want to yell at Harry. 

"Talk." I tell him once the door is closed. 

"Don't you want-"

"I want nothing. Tell me."

"Fine. Charlie was sent to give me a message but he's a prick so he decided to have fun first."

"Are you- What's wrong with him? And you! You couldn't explain? Tell me that I didn't need to have nightmares or-"

"Lou, when I told you not to be afraid-"

"Don't feed me that crap. You could have just _said_ that he wasn't going to kill me!"

"Think about it, would I have come back so soon last night if he was proposing a threat of any kind? I'd have had his head."

"I'm so mad at you."

"That's why I didn't tell your family. I knew it wasn't serious."

"And what joy did he get from scaring the life out of me like that?"

"He's.....unpredictable. But he's one of my best so I can't fire him."

"I wasn't going to ask you to."

"He took care of this apartment for us." Harry holds my shoulders and turns me around to take in the new flat. "Bought the furniture and got it to look perfect."

I had to admit the place looked like a dream. "He's forgiven but not you."

"But-"

I'm already walking further into the apartment, towards the steps. "Can I have a tour?"

"Yeah." He holds out his arm. "Shall we?"

"Don't be a gentleman while I'm angry."

He chuckles and leads me up the stairs. The walls of the entire apartment are white, a clean and crisp white with a few nonchalant frames here and there. First is the master bedroom, then the guest room with a neighbouring bathroom.   
Downstairs houses two offices - which I'm really stoked about - and an archway made from deep brown bookshelves. Our living room is small and perfect, two couches and a coffee table. The kitchen is polished and neatly stocked already. Bless Charlie and whoever helped him because it looked like it took a village to put this place together. 

"Do you like it?" Harry stands in the doorway, hands extending and looking like the statue in Rio. 

"If I didn't, which is impossible, we'd move?" 

"I really like it here so.......yeah, we would." 

I roll my eyes. "Fool."

"Still angry?" He wraps his arms around me. 

I ignore the warmth he always brings. "Extremely. We need to unpack."

"We just have the books and clothes."

"There's no soap in the bathroom."

"Damn. We need to buy those things."

"Correct." I stretch up for a kiss. "Thank you."

"Whatever you mean, you're very welcome."

"For everything." I free my hands from between us. "I'd never be here without you."

"Not true. Kings would have accepted you anyway."

"Yeah but I'd have to live in a dorm with a creepy room-mate."

Harry frowns deeply, creating little worry lines on his forehead. "That's unacceptable."

"I'd have survived. Maybe my room-mate would have been nice." I pull away from him and grab a bag from the door, walking up the stairs with Loki behind me. "And fit!"

Now I have Harry following me as well. "What did you say?"

"You could have brought a bag with you." I shake my head. "Unhelpful."

"What if your room-mate was fit?"

"You're seriously jealous of an imaginary room-mate?"

"Well....no but-"

"Aren't I worth being jealous over?"

"Lou." He groans, flopping down on the bed. "I didn't mean that."

"I know." I drop the bag on the floor. "Just like messing with you."

"C'mere."

"No. We have unpacking to do, lots and lots of it." But I find myself astride his lap anyway, his hands on my waist and he's looking up at me. 

"How's this little one?" Harry places his palm on my tummy, sitting up and making me kneel so he's at eye-level with where my bump will be. "Hi, baby."

"When he's able to kick, you're going to give me Hell." 

"Not just me, him too. When will you start showing?" 

"Eighteen weeks, I think."

"I hope you start showing like.....tomorrow."

I cover my mouth with my hand and laugh against it. "I'm only a few days pregnant-"

"Two weeks."

"Really?"

He nods. "Sixteen to go."

"You're neurotic. Let's start unpacking."

It takes us a matter of three hours to organise what was once inside many bags. Loki sat on the floor beside me in the walk-in closet while I put stuff away. London time read 19h56 when we finished and I yawned. We still had the books and offices to do but that could wait for tomorrow. 

"Did you take your vitamins?" Harry asks from the bedroom. 

"I did."

"Did you eat?"

I roll my eyes at Loki whose head is in my lap. "Thrice so far."

"Wanna go get something? We need toiletries anyway."

"Oh yeah. Okay, let's do that." He helps me stand and Loki can't bark so he let's out a little whine. "Where do we put the bags?"

"I'll take care of them." 

"Okay. Let's go eat." I automatically bend backwards to stretch and Harry straightens my spine with a hold on my shoulders. 

"Don't do that." He says sternly. "You can't stretch backwards."

"I can't?" 

"Don't think so."

"Well then I'm....screwed." I admit because I could already foretell the horrors of the coming back pains. TV doesn't exaggerate. 

"You got me, sweetheart." Harry kisses my forehead. "Let's go eat."

"Can we walk?" 

"Why?" He's clearly deflated at something. 

"It's London and I think it'll be nice to see everything instead of whizzing past it all."

"Whizzing saves time."

"We have time."

"Okay fine. Then I'll show you the garage tomorrow."

"We have a garage?"

"Well it's a private space in the parking lot of this building."

"Impressive." I stand on my tiptoes and he kisses me innocently with a smile. 

"We have to wait for Charlie and....the others."

"Ugh. Not again."

"Especially if we're walking."

"Are they your bodyguards?"

Harry's rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. 

"What?"

"They're yours."

"Excuse me?"

"They're your guards."

I sigh heavily and try to rationalise. "Why?"

"Because you need protection when I can't be with you like at uni and-"

"Wait. They're coming with me to uni?"

"They'll escort you everywhere I can't."

"Yeah, I got that. _Why?_ "

"Because my job comes with the reward of enemies and I can't have you going anywhere without protection."

"You're kidding me. Please be joking."

"Sorry." He actually looks apologetic. 

"Harry, I knew what I was doing when I said yes to you and now you're adding these little details."

"I just want you safe. As much as Charlie is an idiot, he's the man I trust most. He has a wife and two daughters, and he's left them in The States to come here."

I run my hand through my hair and down my face. "Do I have a choice?"

Harry stares blankly at me. 

"Fine. Okay." I relent. "But not all three."

"Louis-"

"I'm not walking around campus with three Secret Service agents."

"Two then. They'll rotate shifts."

"Fine. Yeah."

"I love you." He gauges my reaction before stepping forward and engulfing me in an embrace. "I really do."

"I love you." I nuzzle into his neck. "No matter how infuriating you are."

"I am?"

"A little, but it's one of my favourite qualities in you." I stick out my bottom lip and he bends down to kiss me. 

"Maybe toiletries can wait." He lifts me off the ground and falls onto the mattress with me under him, careful not to crush any part of me. 

"We never did check the cabinets in the bathroom." I bare my neck for him to bruise. 

"Good point." He rolls his hips against mine. "What about the food?"

"Damn." I quote him. "Take-out?"

"Not with this one on the way." He pinches the little pudge of my tummy. 

"We can still go out."

"There's a Spanish place down the road. Fancy and they serve-" He's cut off when I unbutton his shirt, flinging it aside and running my hands all over his skin. "-organic stuff sometimes."

"Only sometimes?"

"Lou." He lifts himself up onto his arms, concentrating his hips and making me see stars. "Do we have to talk about organic food right now?"

"I've never been good at dirty talk and you started it."

He pries my jeans off me, kissing the newly exposed skin as he goes and I can't take my eyes off him. When we're both in boxers, he speaks. 

"I want to try something." He bites my earlobe and I cry out. 

"O-Okay." I lift my pelvis up to meet his, my head thrown back and eyes closed. 

"Hands and knees." 

I freeze and fall back. "N-No."

"Lou?"

"I don't like that position."

He tilts his head. "Why not?"

"I just don't. It's.....painful."

His eyes soften somewhat but there's that dark, glazed over look still present. "Okay. We don't have to do it now."

I smile and let his lips capture mine for a long, tangled kiss while I'm stripped to butt naked. I'll always have that primal instinct to cover up, but Harry made it easier to deny myself each time. 

"You're so beautiful." He whispers, teeth closing around a fresh spot of my skin. "So perfect and you're all mine. Full of my baby even."

It was very possible that pregnancy is a real thing for Harry, and I was open to that because it was really hot. 

We made love on our new bed for what could have been hours, both of us wanting to prolong our time of physical contact as much as we could. Harry was considerate of my request to not use the position I despised, but he bended it as much as he could. 

He loved having me in his lap, my face hidden in his neck as he thrusted up into me after I grew tired. I couldn't help the soft sounds I emitted because everything felt so amazing, it was all Harry and none of it I was willing to let go of. 

"Harry." It wasn't even a whisper. It was a breath around a word. 

"Love?" He pinned me to the mattress now, keeping my one leg hooked over his shoulder and the other splayed on the mattress. 

"I don't think we-" He was buried so deep inside me but still rounded his hips in figure eights to worsen it. "-will make it to dinner."

That sentence was broken into several paraphrases due to the fantastic torture. Sometimes all I could see was his chest, trying to get deeper and every lower muscle of mine praised his body for the precision. 

"Me too." He let's our lips meet. 

I scream his name when I spill between our bodies, aware that nobody else was in the building. He bit down on my neck when he climaxed, adding to what had already been released inside me. 

"Maybe there's something in the fridge." I can't seem to keep my mouth shut any longer. 

He smiles against my collarbone and continues his thrusting, on a mission to exhaust me until I resemble nothing but spent hormones. I was too sensitive down there but he ignored my whimpers and weak pushes. 

"I love you but shut up and let me make love to you." He hides in the crook of my neck, breathing out harshly as his sloppy thrusts got tired. 

"I love you." I get out, dragging my nails down his back so I leave several red lines on the skin. 

That seems to power him enough to push us both over the edge one more time before we're too exhausted to move. Harry pulls out but remains on me, just making this mess so much worse. 

"Where's Loki?" I ask, slowly lifting my head. 

He sighs loudly and pushes me back down. "What did I say?"

"I can't handle another round. You're going to kill me."

"I'm not a wizard either. Let's just sleep."

"We need to shower."

"But......do we have to?"

"We're sticky and I'm hungry."

"Give me fifteen minutes and I'll get us some food. We'll shower in the morning."

Fifteen minutes later we - and by we I mean Harry - finds the fridge packed with food. I've never seen him so happy in his life. We eat tuna sandwiches before going to bed without a shower, just the use of a wet flannel.


End file.
